The original document of the first three chapters (maybe four, I can't remember) reached over 7,000 words on Word.
The tails in this are like the Mako Mermaids/H20:JAW ones but this isn't a crossover. I've gone over this and edited it, adding in more detail that sort of thing.
Set after the novels but certain things didn't happen
- Ghastly and Anton were not killed, there was just an attempt.
- Valkyrie didn't move to America
Disclaimer: I do not own 'Skulduggery Pleasant' all rights belong to Derek Landy. This is for all chapters, because I will forget.
The waves crashed up against the rocks, throwing up spray. The sky was a light blue colour with white streaks of cloud stretching on for endless miles, like the ocean before him. Anton Shudder took a deep breath and exhaled. His long black hair was the wind's new play toy and his grey eyes were watering. Instead of his usual suit, he had on a simple dark blue t-shirt and plain trousers. His normal suit was in his car, along with food and various other supplies for the hotel. He took another breath before stepping off the rocks, dropping about half a foot, before hitting the water. He went under. The water wrapped itself around his legs changing them into a long black tail, the fin highlighted with 4+dark grey. His shirt drifted about above his stomach and his black hair was all over the place, floating in the movement of the ocean.
The transformation was complete. It should have been excruciatingly painful, but in the few seconds the transformation took , the water wrapped around his legs and feet numbed them , preventing him from feeling the pain of his bones, skin and muscles being pulled and stretched. He flicked his fin and swam up to the surface. His gills which appeared on the back off neck hadn't activated yet. They needed to have been exposed to air first, if it wasn't possible to expose them, their lungs were able to work on a single lungful of air for about twenty minutes to half an hour, he had never really wished to test it the limits.
His black hair was clinging to his scalp. He smiled before ducking under the surface and swimming off. His gills filtering the air from the water.
Saracen smiled. He had seen his friend jump into the sea. He knew what had gone on under the surface. It happened to him too. He had been going to join Shudder but then thought the better of it, knowing his friend would probably want time to get used to his tail again. So he went five minutes after he had seen the man , well MERman duck back underneath. The rock he had jumped from was almost ideal. Not too far from the water, flat, wide and sturdy , the only problem was it was more exposed. He didn't mind though. Not many people came here. The cliff path to get down to it was treacherous and then all the loose rocks and difficult footing tended to ward off walkers.
He knew how to avoid most of the dangers. He knew a lot of things. Like how his friend hadn't actually swum very far, just far enough away that if Saracen did a wide jump he wouldn't be in danger of being a landing pad. He also knew that Anton was just about to pop up in 5,4,3,2,1. Anton surfaced.
"Knew you were going to do that,"
"Of course you did. Now, what are you waiting for. I've been waiting five minutes you to show up," he ducked back under and flicked his fin showering Saracen with water.
"Hey, that was not funny," he scowled and wiped the water off his face. Shudder surfaced again.
"It was a bit funny."
"Ok fine maybe a bit."
"Maybe a lot, the scowl on your face," he laughed. Being in the water with a tail made even Anton Shudder laugh.
"Cannonball!" Saracen jumped forward brought his knees up to his chest and cannonballed in, the waves from his entracne hitting into Shudder. He wiped the water from his face.
"Nice."
Saracen surfaced next to him. "Paybacks a bitch,"
Shudder sighed "Now that that's out the way, come on. I only have an hour," Shudder ducked under again and Saracen ducked under after him. Saracen's tail was a dark violet. The colour of his magic, Valkyrie had told him. What happened when they transformed was whatever they were wearing on their legs almost melted into their skin and scales grew over the top and whatever they were wearing on their top half stayed, which was why wearing suits wasn't the best idea. Which was why Saracen had taken his jacket off and left it in his car, as well as his tie.
The two were evenly paced swimming about. The waters here weren't the warmest in the world, but in mer form the water temperature didn't bother them, they could be in the freezing cold Arctic and it wouldn't bother them. Fish swam by them and reaching kelp fonds brushed their tails. Sometimes they explored the outer reefs but not today, there was no time. They had to visit The Cave.
They swam over a maze of rocks looking for the entrance, it seemed to move everytime, but then there was often a long gap between visits. Enough time for the mind to wreck havoc on the details of memories. A gaping hole in the rocks caught Shudder's eye, he reached over tugged on Saracen's arm and the pair swam down through it. It went straight down about a meter before turning and opening into a massive cavern. An underwater cave.
Unlike some underwater caves this one wasn't completely flooded. The bottom was covered in sand that the currants dragged in, water covering the layer of sand while the top half was filled with air. Symbols were carved into the walls meaning a never ending supply of the precious gas that even mermen needed to breath -oxygen.
The cave had rock ledges around the pool like area- so they didn't have to stay in the water the whole time they were cave had once been as dark as Skulduggery's eye sockets but a few symbols later it had been filled with light that was activated whenever they swam along the bottom- before it was safe to surface without hitting your head, of course. So when the two broke the surface the place was lit up, not a blinding city but more of a comfortable mutliple candle light , shadows could still dance their dance but the light had killed as many as the sun did each and every day.
"It's been ages since we swam the reefs, what with the war and stuff," Saracen said to his friend.
"Yeah. It has been good coming out here though, a chance to clear our heads," Anton remarked.
"Yeah, hey do you want to race," Saracen turned to his friend while smiling, a big grin, stretching from ear to ear.
"Alright then. Prepare to lose," Anton moved his fin under the water, gearing up for top speed.
"In your dreams."
"In my dreams I can beat you with my eyes closed."
"Oh it's on now,"
They ducked under and swam out. Once above the water the race began.
"3,2,1 and go."
They dove forward into the waves and shot off like rockets. Speeding over rocks, kelp, seaweed and fish. At times Shudder would be in front then Saracen would edge out in front. It was a constant battle for first place. Instead of going back to the rock where they had first jumped in they headed further up past the cliffs, it would mean a further walk but safer for tired merman swimmers.
Back at the hotel
It was an almost Dead Men Reunion. Valkyrie and Dexter were having a Who Can Hang Upside Down The Longest On A Chair Like A Possum Competition on two armchairs. Ghastly and Skulduggery were , well Ghastly was lazing about on a couch and Skulduggery was sitting cross legged on another armchair. Shudder was 'just out getting supplies' and Saracen was out someplace or the other, he hadn't specified when he left.
" When's Anton and Saracen getting back?" Valkyrie asked, hanging upside down.
"Saracen said he'll be getting back in 20 minutes and Anton was supposed be back 10 minutes ago." Ghastly answered her.
Then the door opened. Anton poked his head into the walked into the room. He had changed back into his suit before going back out to the car and taking in the shopping.
"There's about another 25 bags in the car, so you guys can help take it all in."
"I can't, I have to beat Valkyrie in the Who Can Hang Upside Down The Longest On A Chair Like A Possum Competition!" Dexter called out.
"I can't I have to beat Dexter in the Who Can Hang Upside Down The Longest On A Chair Like A Possum Competition!" Valkyrie called out.
"Alright I'll grab a couple from the boot," Ghastly turned his head to face Shudder before turning back and then he stood up.
"Me to," Skulduggery added.
"Thanks." He pulled his head back and walked past laden with bags.
"Dexter get your lazy ass up and help," He called out as he walked, then backtracking
"You as well Valkyrie," he went down to the kitchen.
" Fine, Dexter we both fall on the count of three. One,"
"Two."
"Three," Valkyrie slid down, Dexter stayed up.
"Ha ha I win," He rolled backwards off the chair and leaped up and did a victory dance.
"I will prevail again someday," Valkyire imagined using her new powers to send Dexter flying, but then though better of it. Better to attack when they least expect it.
"Hey you guys, come on we need to help the scary person unload our food," Skulduggery was waiting in the doorway, adjusting his hat- black with a dark green band - a new style Ghastly had made for him.
"Fine," The four headed out to the car. The boot was packed with stuff. "Well he wasn't exaggerating,"
"Told you," Anton came up behind them. He slipped past them and grabbed some more bags, before heading back inside. He had shopped before he had gone swimming with Saracen. He placed the bags on the table and sighed. He was tired. Shopping, racing and unpacking was tiring. Especially racing Saracen, the man normally a bit of a laugh was deadly competitive when racing.
" Jesus Christ, Anton, how much stuff did you buy?" Dexter.
"Just enough to feed some hungry Dead Men for a day," he joked, "Maybe two days if we scrimp,"
"Maybe three days, we don't want to end up like Saracen."
He hadn't met Dexter until he joined the Dead Men and hadn't really spent that much time with him, but was still able to joke about with him, or as much as he would. Anton Shudder wasn't really the type to joke about a lot. Ghastly and Skulduggery came in carrying more bags.
"Aren't there more bags to come in?" Skulduggery didn't seem bothered by the weight of the bags.
" Unfortunately," Dexter mumbled. Anton and Dexter made their way back up, while Ghastly and Skulduggery headed after them. Back at the car Valkyrie was stuffing things back into a bag. She stood up and smiled sheepishly.
"It fell out," she said with a shrug. Skulduggery rolled his non existent eyes.
"Valkyrie what have I told you about not dropping shopping bags,"
"Umm, nothing."
"Ah well, Valkyrie do not drop shopping you can damage things." It was her turn to roll her eyes.
"C'mon lets just get all the shopping in."
"Fine, killjoy."
Two million hours later ( just kidding, but seriously a while later)
The table was covered in bags.
"Now for the fun part of unpacking."
"Yeah."
"Great."
And a whole lot of other sarcastic comments floated from the mouths.
"Hey guys," Saracen strolled in.
"Actually I have a better idea. Saracen since you arrived to late to help us get the bazillion bags from the car, you can unpack the shopping," Anton smirked at him.
"Whhhhhyyyyyy?"
"Cause you didn't help get it out of the car,"
"But I wasn't here,"
"Your problem, not mine ," Anton said back, teasing in his voice. Swimming always put him in a good mood.
"Fiiinnnee," Saracen whined.
"Good , we'll meet you back in the lounge."
Saracen sighed as the rest of them trooped out.
"
Why can't you stupid bags unpack yourself?"
He then proceeded to let out a string of curses and complaints about how sorcerers for being so mighty and powerful couldn't even make something to unpack bags. Footsteps coming down broke him cursing.
"Did you really think we would make you unpack this all yourself?" Shudder asked him. Skulduggery and Ghastly came in after him and the four got to work unpacking it all. Once it was finished they headed back through to the lounge to find Valkyrie and Dexter were once again locked in a battle of epic porpations in another installment of Who Can Hang Upside Down The Longest On A Chair Like A Possum Competition.
"Is that all you guys do here?"
"Yup."
"Uh-hu."
"These chairs are the best for it anyway."
"I'll take your word for it," Shudder sat down on a couch opposite the chairs occupied by Valkyrie The Possum and
Dexter The Possum. Saracen took a seat beside Ghastly.
"So Saracen, what was your ultra important business in town?"
"I actually helped Anton here with the shopping. Being that big of an eater I was able to offer my opinions on a wide variety of foods," he said with an important air.
"Meaning, you kept asking me to buy things, saying they were really nice, oh and so are these. These would fill the
rest of the hungry people at the hotel." Shudder told them. He then moved to the side and put his feet up on the couch.
"Hey you said we're not allowed to do that!"
"My hotel, I can do what I want the rest of you have to follow the rules,"
"But the only rule is no violence to other guests." Saracen pouted.
"Well from now onwards the Dead Men guests are not allowed to put their feet up on the couch."
"But I'm not technically a Dead MAN."
"But, Valkyrie you are a part of the Dead Men so you are in fact a Dead Man, so the rule applies to you as well,"
"Dang glob it."
A comfortable silence settled.
" Hey Anton, can you put the TV on?" Dexter asked from his possum position. No reply. "Anton! Shudder! Anton!"
"Wheesht it Dex, he's sleeping," Ghastly scolded him
"Oh."
"Can we still watch TV, or is he a light sleeper and likly to wake up?" Valkyrie asked
"Nah, he's a deep sleeper when it suits him."
"When it suits him?"
"Yeah it the middle of war all you have to do was brush against in tent, but then out of war you literally have to play a tuba right in his ear, but then most of us are like that," Ghastly said.
"I used a trombone to wake you Ghastly," Saracen chipped in, but they chose to ingnore him.
"Oh, so TV can go on then."
"I guess so."
"I'll turn it on," Saracen got out of his seat and took the remote off the top of the TV, switching it on before putting it
back and taking the Sky remote from beside it.
"So what do you guys want to watch?"
Then came the argument. Nearly everyone wanted to watch different things. It started off as a hushed argument but
before long it was a shouting and wrestling match.
Anton blinked. The loudness of the argument woke him. He wasn't surprised though. Whenever the Dead Men tried to watch TV it ended up in a fighting mach. Apart from when it came to Family Guy, which is why he had recorded all 211 episodes, shown Ireland. The remote had been ripped from Saracen's hands, into Dexter's, into Ghastly's , into Valkyrie's, into Dexter's, into Saracen's and all around again. Only Skulduggery remained seated, he didn't care much about TV.
Shudder sat up. Only Skulduggery noticed. Shudder got up, still no one noticed, except Skulduggery. He moved over to the TV and used the buttons on the Sky box instead. Family guy came on and suddenly the fighting stopped. It was like they were hypnotosised.
Everyone sat back down, except for Shudder who went out and into his his bathroom.
The easiest way to bring back strength lost while swimming was to relax in water, sea water was best but normal water with sea salt sprinkled in was good as well.
Which is why him and Saracen normally raced on the way there not the way back. So he ran a bath. His bath was specially designed for him in mer form. It was built up on a podium above the ground. The bath was placed in the podium a bit in from each side. It was long enough and deep enough so his tail wasn't squished and he could go completely under to transform. And it was easy to get in and out. Once the bath was half filled he added in bubblebath. A lot of bubble bath and some sea salt from his tub beside the bath. It was so his tail could be hidden if need be, but he never needed to. Once it was filled he went in and pushed his whole body under and waited a few seconds until he had a tail. The warm bubble water relaxed his tired muscles and although he was gaining strength he felt himself slipping into sleep again. It wouldn't matter if he slipped under, his gills would activate.
Four hours later cold water poured onto his face caused him to wake, he blinked clearing his vision to see Saracen standing over him.
"What you do that for?"
"Everyone's getting hungry and yeah you know, you're the host and it's you're hotel so you have to, you know cook,"
"Fine, give me ten minutes."
"Excellent," Saracen bounded out the room. A key held in his hand. Of course he would know where to find the only spare key to get in. Asshat, Valkyrie taught them all that word. He pulled himself out of the water, once he was clear of the water this time the reverse of what occurred before happened. Although water with snake like qualities wasn't in the equation. The scales melted smoothly into what was meant to be legs. The skin returned and spilt into two legs, two feet and ten toes. Changing back left them still wet though.
Exactly ten minutes after Saracen had so rudely awoken him, he was down in the kitchen making dinner. His long black hair took far too long to dry, so he pulled it back into a ponytail.
He had bought a variety of frozen pizzas. Margarita, pepperoni, meat feast, Hawaiian, mozzarella, seafood, pesto. Something for everyone. He carried four plates at a time and set them out on the table. Along with glasses , various soft drinks and smaller plates. He went through to find them watching some other comedy thing
"Pizzas ready."
He moved away from the door to avoid being trampled by stampeding, hungry Dead Men. He followed them with a small chuckle. Once he got there everyone tucked in. It didn't take long for the pizza to vanish. Slice after slice into the hungry mouths like wolves on meat, or sharks on bait, whichever you prefer.