Warning: Before you read, note that there are some very controversial political issues, and the Chinese Government is not responsible for any actions in this story. Thank You, and reviews will be appreciated.
On this fine day, where one should've been outside playing with the frogs in the ponds, our good friend, China, is listening to the grievances of the people in a claustrophobic-prone conference room.
"Wang Yao! 19 illegal abortion clinics opened in the Manchurian areas again!
"Wang Yao! There's been a sharp rise in SARS cases!"
"Wang Yao! The farmers are growing mushrooms out of plutonium!"
"Wang Yao! My horseshit has fly poo in it!"
"ENOUGH! (aru)"
The whole room was silent. A disgruntled China was sitting on one far end of the table, while the other government officials took their seats on neatly lined up chairs.
"Now please state each problem one at a time."
A funny-looking guy in a straw hat, but a suit then proceeded to say, " My horseshit has-
"Next, aru."
The government body of the People's Republic of China them began to uneasily look at each other. No one knew who had the problem that was worth hearing about, after Wang Yao had rejected the horse poop issue. Sure there could be a little uranium in some rice, but fly dung in horse poop!? Unbelievable!
After a few uneasy minutes, a smart-looking fella then raised his barely audible voice.
"I think that we should talk about the medical issues first."
China hesitated, then replied, " Fine then. May you list out all of the problems?
Fumbling through papers, the guy only managed to hold on to a few slippery, laminated sheets, before some fell onto the floor. Another person, a young lady with fiery, slanted eyes sighed, and picked up one of them.
"Alright," she began, "We have a sharp rise in SARS and STD cases, there has been an apparent baby boom, our amount of frog legs available has increased-"
"Hold it; I just have an idea."
The room looked at China with curiosity, probably mistaken for eagerness.
"Well?"
China then proceeded, "You know how Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome, or SARS is spreaded by physical contact and STDS are by sexual, which is also physical, aru?
"Yes."
"Then I think that we could solve those two problems, plus lower the birth rate, by telling our netizens a little white lie; let's scare them into not having you-know-what, by telling them that SARS is a genetic disease, and that the possibility of getting it is more likely in having 'it' with a Chinese man, due to inbreeding. That way, people keep themselves safe from those who don't know that they have it, and the birth rate drops too!"
The cavern started murmuring in agreement, but then the inaudible man spoke up:
"Will there be consequences from the panic it could cause?"
China thought for a moment.
"Ahh, not at all; intellectuals, like you and me, underestimate the maturity and intelligence of our people. I'm pretty sure that they'll just take it seriously enough, and just not have sex, aru."
"Alright, then, said an official, "It's settled; lets start constructing the proclamation."
Some officials then started writing rough drafts of such, while others were making posters to hang in all of China. Wang Yao smiled, peacefully looking at each person hard at work, giving the lie life, but for the greater good.
How'd you like it? No Hungary x Prussia yet, though; that comes later. Again, reviews are greatly appreciated!