A/N - I'm posting this on behalf of a friend of mine who doesn't have an account on ff dot net. She usually posts on fanfiktion dot de under the user name cat attack and she writes in German. She wanted to share this with more readers, so our friend Kat translated it for her and I'm posting it. I think you guys will enjoy it - she has a great sense of humor and she's a really good writer. We need to convince her to create her own account here and translate her other Four Brothers story - Laura

Forbidden Pictures

"Seriously? You still haven't quit making that awful racket?"

Without even breathing loudly, Jack sat motionless and stared into his pudding as if he was expecting to find a treasure at the bottom of the plate.

'He's your brother, you haven't seen him in months and you missed him dearly.'

If he told that to himself long enough, maybe he'd remember it or believe it somehow. Over a year! Over a year he'd been gone. So much for a Christmas visit! Dead silence on the holidays. No visit, no call, not even a damn card! All of Christmas Eve, Jack had waited for Bobby to burst through the front door in a bluster, but it stayed closed all night.

And Jack had even cleaned his – their once shared – room so this stupid ass had enough room for his stuff. Over the holidays he'd been sitting around with a long face and when his brother showed up completely unexpectedly to the big family dinner Jack had thought he really had a lot to be grateful for this Thanksgiving. The feeling hadn't lasted ten minutes straight, though.

"Ma, you still haven't had any time to 'gently' break it to him that playing the guitar's just for girls and little boys who secretly wanna be girls?"

Jack scraped the spoon over the plate instead of eating up. That's how it went practically every second. By now he was saying a silent prayer that Bobby would crawl back to whatever hole he'd pulled himself out of to come visit Evelyn and torture Jack.

"Bobby!"

Evelyn's voice had taken on an admonishing tone, but her expression was definitely gentle. Jack felt let down. Even though he knew that their mother was simply too glad to have her eldest back home for Thanksgiving to seriously scold him, it was still unfair. He looked around the table for help, but Angel was too busy flirting and cooing with Sofi and Jerry was talking softly to Camille. At least she shot him a sympathetic glance. Still not what you'd call support.

"Guitars are cool" he eventually defended himself, "Rockers play the guitar. And rockers are cool and …" he struggled to find the right word. "Manly," he settled on.

Unbeatable logic. Even Bobby wouldn't be able to argue that. What could be manlier than tattooed, drinking rockers with cool leather wristbands and metal studs?

Satisfied he put the spoon in this mouth and even the fact that he had spilled more than he'd eaten couldn't diminish his triumph much.

"Rockers never taking a shower don't automatically make them manly. On top of that they have weird long hair, why? Because they wanna look like girls." Bobby grinned at him so obnoxiously that Jack dropped the spoon and it landed on the plate with a loud 'ping' while a couple of drops of pudding splattered in all directions, mostly on his t-shirt.

"You already stink and you look like a girl. Too bad you still can't play the guitar…" Bobby continued with a mean cackle.

Angel burst out laughing. Oh, for that he could get his lips off of Sofi's, yeah? Even Jerry grinned, although he tried to hide it behind a napkin. Jack felt the blood rising to his face. This stupid, mean, lousy…

Bobby wasn't finished. "Watch it, Jackie. If you turn a little redder your face will clash with your pretty little pink dress."

"Ass", Jack blurted out before he couldn't take it any longer and in the next moment he jumped up and stormed out of the room and up the stairs, his mother yelling something behind him. He didn't even wait to hear if his mother was scolding him or Bobby. He didn't care either way.

He slammed the door to his room shut as noisily as he possibly could. His door. His empire. Let Bobby sleep in the hallway. Or, even better, in the front yard. Maybe if they were lucky he'd freeze to death. Jack sure as hell wouldn't send flowers to the funeral. How could he have missed this moron in the first place?

He flung himself onto the bed and instinctually wanted to reach for his guitar like he always did when he wasn't feeling well, but his airheaded asshole brother had spoiled even that for him. He glared at the instrument with a mixture of disdain and longing. Music wasn't girly at all. At least not the right kind of music. Cool music. Not everybody could be a snooty, bad-ass ex-hockey-player.

Not that he hadn't tried. Last winter Jack had played quite frequently. Mostly with Angel and some other guys that were more his age. Sometimes also with the older guys like in the year before. But without Bobby on the ice, it just wasn't the same. Besides, these guys made him nervous when his big brother wasn't there to kick their asses in case one of them wanted to crush Jack.

He let out a tormented sigh. Great. He actually was a little girl that needed someone to protect her from the big bad men. He'd even grown a couple of centimeters taller than his oldest brother since his last growth spurt. It was just that he very much lacked some biceps.

Bobby was right. He was a complete girl. Without sparing the guitar another glance, he stared gloomily at the ceiling.

Despite all his frustration, he had almost nodded off when there was a soft knock on the door a little while later, but nobody stormed into the room without waiting for a response. So polite that it could barely have been one of his brothers.

"You can come in, Ma."

Evelyn opened the door slowly. If she'd been angry with him at dinner the anger was long gone now, or at least well hidden.

She smiled at him in this loving, gentle way that even in his darkest moments gave him the feeling of not being a fucked-up freak that nobody wanted. Evelyn had wanted him. Admittedly, she had wanted Bobby too. And he very definitely was a fucked-up freak. But a pretty muscular, kinda scary one at that.

Jack sniffed silently and turned away when she sat down on his bed. Maybe he was wussy and too skinny, but he wouldn't cry in front of his mother now. That would be absolutely pathetic.

"Jackie."

He didn't react. If he looked at her he'd most certainly burst into tears. This was so embarrassing. And Bobby was just being an idiot. Who cared what he thought?

"Jackie, you know he just wanted to tease you."

Well he'd succeeded in that.

"And he only teases you because he loves you."

Instead of replying Jack just made a disdainful grunting sound. That should really be enough.

"No, really. He missed you. That's why he takes every opportunity to tease you. He's got a lot of catching up to do."

So Bobby had missed him something like you miss an old doormat? Because it was so convenient to wipe your shoes on? Nice prospects. But hardly surprising, Jack could barely keep up with him and Angel. And as reasonable as Jerry might be, even he was still a whole lot cooler than him.

"I've got something that will cheer you up."

"Hmm?"

He would've loved to pull the blanket over his head, but he didn't dare to in the end. When Evelyn wanted to talk to him she insisted on his attention quite rigorously.

"But before I show you, you have to promise that, as hard as it might be – and it will be hard – you'll never tell Bobby what you've seen."

Now he was actually getting curious. He sat up and tried to catch a glimpse of it, but his mother withdrew her hand quickly. Pictures. He'd seen that much.

"Swear it. Or may all your guitar strings break until the end of your life."

Against his will Jack had to grin a little. Evelyn always made up the lamest vows ever.

"I swear! What is it?"

He tried to snatch the pictures away in the same moment, but she was faster again.

"This, my dear, is Bobby's darkest secret", she breathed in a sepulchral voice and Jack's eyes lit up. Embarrassing baby pictures. Complete with tiny willy. Oh please, it had to be embarrassing nudie pictures!

"When Bobby was your age and we lived here all alone he already loved hockey more than anything, but he did have a second passion."

Jack hung on her every word.

"And this second passion was called Beth. Sadly, Beth was not a big fan of hockey and didn't notice Bobby much. That's why he came up with a plan to be around her and get her attention," Evelyn said, chuckling and handed him the pictures without another word.

The term Thanksgiving suddenly bore a whole new meaning!

No, it was like Easter, Christmas and his birthday combined. Each of the three photos showed a teenage Bobby. Not in the slightest as muscular as today, but still decisively broader than Jack was. But that wasn't what caught his attention. Not even the big pimple that shining on Bobby's forehead.

His oh-so-masculine brother was wearing a tight black leotard. On a stage. In dancing pose. With such a grumpy expression that it ruined the esthetics of the pictures even more than the pimple and the crooked posture.

"That can't be true…" was the only thing Jack could get out. He was so shocked he couldn't even laugh.

"Yes, yes…"

Evelyn was still laughing.

"He didn't even last five weeks and a performance until he noticed Beth was dating a guy from the basketball team…"

Now he couldn't help laughing. The pictures were too great. Perfect. Exactly what he had needed.

"Thanks, mom."

It was hard for Jack to let go of the photos but he bravely held them out to her. Evelyn smiled at him and winked cheekily.

"You can keep them. But hide them well."

With that she stood up from his bed and moved to the door. Handle in hand she turned around once again.

"Just so we're clear: If Bobby should ever find these pictures, I'll deny any involvement and insist that you were going through my cupboard secretly."

Jack grinned.

"Don't worry, I'll guard them with my life."

And he would. Nothing in this world would make him part with that. He looked at the pictures for some more minutes, chuckling softly every once in a while, and then placed them tenderly in his favorite hiding place, the sock drawer. Given that he didn't only keep clean underwear in there, Bobby would never voluntarily rummage around in it.

As soon as he had thought his brother's name the door opened and he came in. Without knocking, of course.

"What up, Jackiepoo?"

Jack made an effort to mutter grumpily. If he seemed too cheerful now Bobby would certainly get suspicious. Instead, he grabbed his book from the nightstand.

"Is that some fantasy crap with pixies and fairies again?"

"Elves and dwarves", he corrected him with a steady voice. "And it could be worse."

"Oh yeah?"

Bobby eyed him curiously.

"Yeah. At least they're not doing ballet. THAT would be really girly", he deadpanned without looking up from his book. Jack thought he could see his brother flinching slightly out of the corner of his eye though, before Bobby eyed him briefly and then turned away on his bed.

Jack cast a quick unobtrusive look at the sock drawer. Absolutely priceless.

His precious.