Unfinished Thoughts – Chapter 1
I had been trying to reach Sydney in her dreams every single day for the past month without any success. At first I thought it might be a side effect of the pills, even though I had stopped taking them the day she'd been taken. It was hard not to feel guilt over not being able to visit her in her dreams. It felt like I hadn't been trying hard enough, that spirit was failing me. As if by trying to block it with the pills I had weakened my powers and it was my fault Sydney hadn't come back from wherever she was yet.
Deep down, if I looked closely enough, I knew that wasn't true, but it was hard to keep hold of what was real and what wasn't when the dark moods took over me. It had been happening much more frequently lately, but I couldn't rely on the pills anymore. I tried drinking to the point where I couldn't say my name anymore, and it worked magnificently until the feeling of guilt was more powerful and overwhelming than any of my dark moods could ever be.
Sometime along the past month, I decided that dropping out of college would be a good idea, but in the end I couldn't bring myself to do it. Sydney was the one who had believed in me, the only person who never made excuses for me. The memory of her saying that she trusted me is still as clear as day on my mind, and there is nothing more important than that trust for me right now. I couldn't betray it. I couldn't betray her. So I continued dragging myself to classes and avoiding any places where liquor was sold, because an irrational part of me believed that if I were good enough, if I could hold my own for one more day, then maybe – just maybe – things would change and I would be able to reach Sydney. I would be able to finally find a way to help her.
I had just tried one more time to reach her with no results. It was the fifth time today – two more than I usually tried, but what the hell, it was Saturday. I felt a surge of frustration start to take over me and decided I couldn't go on only half-trying to find Sydney. I couldn't rely only on my own abilities to get her out of wherever it was the Alchemists had her locked up. Sydney was the one who always had an answer, who always came up with a plan, however crazy it was. But crazy has always been my specialty. That was why, while sitting on my couch, staring at an untouched glass of whiskey on the coffee table, something started taking shape on my mind. Something that had been haunting me lately, like an unfinished thought that refuses to leave you alone until it is fully acknowledged. I concentrated and let spirit control me once more, one last time that night.
I was going to pay a visit to Jared Sage's dreams.
A/N: This was supposed to be a one-shot story of a prompt my friend Lany gave me before Christmas: Marcus helping Sydney somehow. It was clear from the beginning for me that this had to be Adrian's POV, so when I saw where it was going, I realized it would have to be a multi-chapter fanfic. Oh well. We'll see how that goes. Let me know if you read/like it.