Hey guys, this is my first ever Divergent fan fiction so please go easy on me. I just had to write this though, I couldn't take it, Allegiant really left a hole in me that I don't think can ever be filled. I'd cried over so many books but Allegiant is the one that broke me, to me, nothing could compare to Tris's death and Four's pain and suffering. This is my dedication to them, it actually taking place in the future when Four dies twenty years later. I hope you enjoy it.
IV VI
IV,
It's been a long time since I'd last saw you, hasn't it? I'll say about twenty years now. You're thirty eight, much, much, much too young (not that I was any older, sixteen is a miserable age to die isn't it?). All I have to say is this:
How stupid can you be? Dying from a freaking car accident! You're supposed to be smart for crying out loud! Not to mention the ex head of Dauntless.
I was there the whole time you know? I was there through everything. I was there when you crashed into that tree. I know you didn't bother to turn. I know you could've survived and yet you didn't make a single attempt to save your life.
I hope you know Christina is crying her eyes out right now.
She looked beautiful all dressed in white by the way. She was like an angel, I can see why you chose her.
And that's why I have to say I'm disappointed. Yes I know the arrangement you made with her you fool.
Are you kidding me? 'Together until the end but whatever comes next we'll be with the people we were meant to be with. Me with Will and you with Tris.' How could you let her say that? How could you agree to that?
I was so angry at you when you made that promise. When you were relieved as you agreed to those words. You were supposed to move on, not shuffle a few steps forwards and then take a giant leap back.
You're an idiot, you know that?
But I still love you. I always will. And since we promised so many years ago, no more secrets, I'll tell you this; I was relieved when you made that promise. A selfish part of me wanted you back when you finally made it here. I didn't want Christina to have you.
Speaking of here, heaven's a really nice place. I didn't think I'd make it after everything that I'd done, but I did. Will's here too. He was the first one to greet me when I came in. I broke down in his arms as he kept telling me it was going to be okay. I cried for loosing my life, I cried for taking his, I cried for leaving you.
I'm such a crybaby, aren't I?
I'm worried for Christina, you may not have been her true love but you were her best friend. And you left her. She's the last transfer. It's amazing really. But she's a fighter; she'll make it through.
Speaking of fighting, I wanted to thank you for fighting all those years. I would know, after all, I was there when you wanted to use the memory serum.
I was hurt. But I understood. I would've understood if you went through it. Even though I would've never wanted you to forget me, to forget us, and I probably would've been mad at you but I would've understood. I just know I would've.
It hurts to keep fighting but you did it and it just made me love you even more. Thank you.
I guess I should leave now, you're coming soon, I can feel it. Uriah will be there to welcome you (he's with Marlene now by the way and P.S. he's going to give you a good beating for blaming everything on yourself) because I don't think I can face you just yet.
It has been twenty years after all.
Twenty years since I last held you, twenty years since I last kissed you, twenty years since we'd been together.
I can see you coming in now, you're eighteen again and you look exactly like you did when I first entered Dauntless, except your eyes, their filled with love and hope now, I can see it. I can see you.
But you can't see me, not yet, I'm not ready. I'm not ready.
Without thinking, I turn and run but I know you've spotted me. You chase after me, completely ignoring Uriah (now he's probably going to give you a black eye). And I'm in your arms again.
I guess I was never fast enough.
It doesn't matter though. All that matters is that I'm in your embrace again, I can feel the pulsing of your heart again, I can feel your breath tickling the base of my neck and soon all I can feel is the soft pressure of your lips on mine.
Unexpectedly, I'm the one that breaks the kiss (even though I've been waiting so, so long to do it again) and I slap you.
I didn't plan it. I swear.
My eyes fill up with tears as a red mark forms against the surface of your cheek. Your dark eyes pierce mine, filled with shock.
Then we laugh.
It's not a happy or sad laugh, but a relieved one. Relieved to know that we're back together. Relieved to know we can never be separated again.
Tear prick both our eyes and I gently place my palm on where I just slapped you as you pull me in again and I bury my face in your chest, winding my arms around your neck.
We stay like that but it doesn't last long as I immediately pull you away to look you in the eyes.
It's been twenty years, hasn't it?
"I love you," I whisper, searching your deep, dark eyes.
It's been twenty years since I'd last said that sentence.
"I love you too," you breath back and capture my lips again.
It's been twenty years since I'd last heard it.
I sigh contently, tousling my fingers through your hair. It has been twenty years since we've been together. But I've never stopped loving you.
Nothing's changed between us. I am yours and you are mine, and it will always be that way.
Always means forever this time,
VI
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