An unusual feeling grew deep in Ami's stomach. It had been growing for several days. Each day it felt heavier and heavier. Soon, that feeling would burst or disappear. There was another option, which Ami feared. The feeling might just continuing growing until she could not carry the burden of its weight anymore. Tomorrow, she would know for sure. Tomorrow, her life as a normal woman would end and all her dreams along with it. Tomorrow, Usagi and Mamoru would ascend the throne and change the world as Neo-Queen Serenity and King Endymion. Life would never be the same.
She knew what she needed to do. Sailor Mercury's life had already been planed. Fate had already cast her dice. For at least a thousand years, Sailor Mercury would serve by her Queen's and King's side and continue to lay down her life in order to protect the purity and innocence of the world. This life left little room for personal dreams. Would she ever know the smile on a mother's face when Dr. Mizuno, the doctor, successfully treated her ailing child? Would she ever know that feeling of self-confidence when she became a world-renowned expert in her medical field? Would she ever know that tender feeling only given to her by the one she truly loved?
Ami clutched herself tightly as she shuddered, holding back tears of regret. No, her duty called her elsewhere. She had known this for years, even since a black cat presented her with a blue henshin pen. Her life had never been the same. Had it change for the better or…
With a disgruntled sigh, she grabbed the keys and rushed out the door. For a moment, she considered not locking the front door. Everything would be different tomorrow, anyway. The front door was locked. Ami did not stop walking until she neared the outer limits of the city. In the dark of night, few cared to bother a woman that knew how to walk within the shadows. She stopped at a lake, bathed by the comforting glow of the moon.
The image was beautiful, but strangely possessed by symbolic irony. The moon and the water, Ami mused. Although she would have never done it on any other night, Ami tossed her clothes to the side and dove into the public lake. The water caressed her skin and provided comfort that she sorely needed. She wasn't entirely sure how long she swam that night. Nothing else mattered except for the feel of the water and the clearing of her mind. She did not stop until she felt a familiar presence. She opened her eyes and saw a smiling face, tender blue eyes, and the source of her conflicted feelings.
"Ami," Usagi said softly. Her words told Ami that the soon-to-be queen understood the pain of a conflicted soldier. She understood the fear, the apprehension, and the unfamiliar pain of anger at destiny. The soldier of the moon turned to look away. "I… I won't force you to go through with this."
Ami paused for a moment. She bit her lip, sighed, and then rose from the water. If there ever was a time, then this was it. "I know," she responded, shivering slightly from the cool air.
When Usagi turned back to look at Ami, the blue-haired woman could see the tears in her friend's eyes. "Please, understand. I never wanted to do this to any of you!" She said, choking a sob. She rose her hands to her mouth, as if to hold back her tears. "You all have such beautiful dreams and I feel as if I am taking them all away."
She did understand. Of course, Usagi understood. The bond that all of the girls shared was unique and beautiful. It allowed for something deeper to transcend. That feeling in Ami shattered as she hugged the trembling woman.
"I know this is our destiny and for the betterment of the world, but… you all are my closest friends and I never want to hurt you." Usagi looked up into Ami's eyes. "I would never force you. You will always have your free will."
Ami realized that fate had already cast Usagi's die, too. Everyone, all of the sailor senshi, would be giving up something dear in order to protect the world. But, they would all be gaining something even stronger, love and friendship that would support them no matter what happened. "I can feel everyone's pain and conflicted feelings." Usagi continued. "I just want everyone to be happy."
Ami touched Usagi's hand and held it firmly, trying to give her the strength her friend needed. "Usagi, you are our happiness. Your love and caring will mend that pain. That pain would grow stronger without you." Ami said, taking Usagi's other hand. "We will face this new world together. Just like always, right?" Usagi smiled and nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes.
They would always have each other for love, comfort, and protection. As the winds cooled and the season began to change, five girls would face the challenges ahead together. Although some things would change, others would stay the same.