Everything Loki could do, Thor could do better. Excluding magic of course, but in Asgard magic was looked down upon; considered weak by many. Those who used magic were weak and couldn't match up to the real warriors. They were cowardly and would never be any use. So here Loki was, hidden to all those around, watching Thor train with his good friend Volstagg. Loki had to admit that Volstagg could dodge Mjölnir rather well considering his weight.
Loki had accepted the fact that everyone looked down upon him. It had even become a comfort while pulling one of his illusions. He didn't have to feel any guilt about hurting someone, although he rarely hurt anyone now ... not after his encounter with the mortal's giant, green Hulk-thing. Loki took some comfort, but wouldn't be fully comfortable with his illusions because of one thing; Thor. Thor was the one Asgardian who did not hate Loki and had forgiven him. No matter how big or dangerous the prank, Thor had always forgiven him. What made things worse was Thor's opinion affected Loki. The way Thor would look at him right after a prank was pulled, with such disappointment in those beautiful eyes, Loki had always hated that look because it made him feel something that wasn't in his nature to feel: regret. Silly oaf, why couldn't Thor just hate him like everyone else? How and why was Thor's heart so big?
"Brother!"
Loki was snapped out of his thoughts by his too loud not-really brother.
"Yes?" Loki figured that he'd entertain Thor, seeing as he was caught anyway.
Loki glanced behind Thor at the battle grounds, watching as Volstagg picked himself up, dusted the dirt of his beard and walk towards the other's. Apparently their battle was over.
"Were you watching, brother? Did you see how fast I moved?"
Thor was like a puppy or a child, always looking for the approval of his brother. Loki wouldn't admit this to anyone, but he found Thor's search for approval cute.
"I was, and I did. Good job, Thor."
Loki was sure that if his brother's grin was any wider he'd split his face in two and what a shame that would be.
Thor slapped his brother on the shoulders and sent Loki stumbling forward.
"I'd thank you not to do that, brother."
Loki was painfully aware of how everyone around was now snickering.
"I bet they're thinking about how pathetic I am, how weak."
Loki's thoughts stung his mind like a snake bite.
"I'm sorry."
There was that stupid look again; Thor looking down, but looking up at Loki through his eyelashes with his puppy eyes. Drat.
"... It's quite alright."
Loki straightened up and fixed his coat, "Was there anything else you needed?"
Loki wasn't in the mood for small talk anymore and he just wanted to get as far away from the battle area as he could. He just wanted to go back to his chambers and read, away from everyone and especially away from Thor.
Thor bit his lip and shook his head, not trying to stop Loki was he watched his younger brother walk away; probably to his chambers or the library. If anyone noticed the small frown on Thor's face as he watched Loki's coat end vanish around a corner, they never said anything.
Loki woke up and looked around frantically. He hated moments like this; unaware of the day or time. Using his magic, Loki opened the curtains and glanced out, seeing sunset. Loki figured he was probably asleep for an hour, two at most. If he was correct, Thor would be knocking on his door in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ...1.
Silence.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
Ah, there it is.
"Who is it?"
Loki called, although he knew it was Thor; he could smell him. Thor always had a distinct smell to him, like sweat, dirt and ... Thor.
"It is me, brother. You slept through dinner so I have brought you up some. May I enter?"
"Aw, how sweet."
Loki sighed, this is exactly why he 'hated' Thor; he was so thoughtful. Loki had tried to kill Thor on more than one occasion, he had tried to destroy an entire race and planet, had even set Odin up to be killed and here Thor was, bringing Loki his dinner.
"Arg."
"You may."
Loki sat up and stretched, signing as he heard his back click.
Thor entered with a tray that appeared to have a bread roll, stew and a cup of water on it. Loki knew that everyone else probably has the privilege of wine, but Loki wasn't allowed to drink because he had apparently turned everyone's wine into snakes when he got a bit drunk. Like Loki really needed the excuse of intoxication to turn wine into snakes.
"It is your favourite, brother."
Thor was grinning again as he set the try on Loki's night stand.
"Thank you."
Loki had nodded as another thanks and looked away, expecting Thor to leave. What Loki was not expecting was the bed to dip as Thor sat down beside him.
"Is something on your mind, brother?" Loki asked.
He noticed Thor's eyebrows were drawn and he was frowning again; Thor's sign that he was thinking of something either very hard or very upsetting ... or both. Loki brought the tray onto his lap and started to eat his stew, if he was about to have a deep and meaningful conversation with Thor, he'd at least like to eat before or during it.
"Do you hate me?"
"Oh."
Loki was not expecting that either. Thor glanced at his brother and his look of sad confusion turned into a mix of amusement, sadness and confusion at Loki's state. Mouth opened, spoon inches away from his mouth and his eyes wide with shock, staring at Thor.
"Pardon?" Loki managed to squeak out, setting his spoon back into the bowl.
The urge to eat his delicious stew had vanished.
"I asked if you hated me, Loki."
"Why would I hate you?"
Thor didn't think his brother would ask that question, but he did plan for it. Too bad all of his reasons had vanished and what was let was just raw emotion.
"Because you're coldest towards me when I have been nothing but kind to you. Whenever you watch me battle you are always frowning. Nothing I do seems good enough for you. Have I done something that has offended you, brother?"
It was a rather heartbreaking scene. Thor's face scrunching up with every word as he held back tears. Loki wanted to hug him and tell him more sweet lies, but he knew that the truth would be better this time.
"I do, yes."
"Oh."
Thor looked away, willing his tears back again, "Why?"
That was all Thor could manage, the hurt he was feeling from his brother's confession so overwhelming that he had to will himself to stay. The pain was worse then being hit by Jane's car, and that had happened twice!
"Because ..."
Loki sighed, he had already told Thor the truth, but he felt an explanation was in order.
"Because you are better than I am at everything. Everyone adores and looks up to you and they will give you everything and anything you desire. Ever since we were young it's been this way and I've been pushed in the shadows. You forget about me, and soon I won't be anything to you, but a mere "Hello" when we pass each other in the halls."
Loki looked away from Thor, knowing that whatever happens now was out of his control and Loki hated that.
Was Loki jealous of Thor, or of the people showing him attention? Was he worried that Thor would forget about him? Was he ... oh.
"You are worried that I will replace you?"
It was such a simple question but it held so much weight, weight that Loki wasn't ready for and just like that, his cold eyes and straight face fell and Thor finally saw Loki.
"I have reason to believe that you will, brother."
Loki tried to muster up something that would resemble rage but instead got a small, shaken, worried voice.
"Close enough."
"What reasons do you have, Loki? Have you noticed me going to anyone else after battle? Have you noticed me bringing anyone else their dinner? Have you noticed me asking others for their approval?"
Loki hadn't seen any of that.
"No. But I have seen how the women throw themselves at you, how the men crowd around you after battles and-"
"And I always excuse myself to see you."
"That's not the point, Thor! One day you will find someone else and I'll be-"
"My brother, Loki. Nothing you do and nothing I do will ever change that. No matter who comes into my life."
"You don't understand, Thor. I don't want to be your brother!"
Loki gasped and bit his lip, hoping Thor was as dense as everyone thought. Loki was getting frustrated by this conversation and knew that if it didn't end soon things would not go well. He was full of so much hatred, more for himself, and he felt like bursting.
"I do not understand, Loki." Thor started, but was stopped as Loki stood up; knocking both his food and the tray to the ground.
"Of course you don't! You rarely understand anything!"
Loki knew ways to hurt Thor and calling him stupid just so happened to be one of those ways. Walking around his room, Loki tried to focus on something else to keep his feelings buried.
"You never understand anything I say, Thor. You never understand what I really mean!"
"I would if you would just stop speaking in riddles ... "
Thor was getting impatient with Loki, but he was right, Thor didn't understand what Loki was saying.
"Riddles? You think I'm speaking in riddles? Oh for Gods sake, Thor! I love you."
Loki had stopped walking around his room and stood by the window, watching Thor.
"I love you a lot more than I should and I've tried for so long to push you away so that it would be easier, but you always come back, always! Do you know how hard it is, Thor? Trick after trick being pulled on people you love only to have you turn around and forgive me? You forgive me because I am your brother, and that's why I hate you."
Loki's voice shook with defeat at the last sentence. Why did he decide to tell the truth again? Sighing, Loki sat in his chair, exhausted and slightly embarrassed at his own out burst.
Thor looked at Loki and noticed how his eyes didn't have the evil glint they got when he was lying or how his smirk wasn't there. It was the first time in a long time that Thor was seeing Loki completely unguarded and out in the open. It was a different side of Loki that he knew was kept hidden for a very long time.
"Br ..."
Thor sighed. He wasn't sure how he viewed Loki, but he would be lying if he said he had never thought and dreamed of Loki as his partner instead of his brother. He had never seen anyone else in his life besides Loki. Really, the only reason he had called Loki "brother" was because of habit.
"Loki." Thor corrected himself and stood up, walking towards Loki.
Loki stared at the approaching Thor and shifted in his seat. Was Thor going to hit him now? Was he going to use Mjölnir to hurt him, or worse? Loki's eyes never left Thor as he watched him kneel down in front of him.
"I would be willing to give this, us, a try."
"No. I do not want you to do this because you think it will make me happy, Thor. I want you to do this because it is something we both want and have thought abo-"
Loki was silenced by Thor's lips on his.
It wasn't a Cinderella kiss; birds weren't singing and flying around Loki's chambers, but the kiss was magical and clumsy. It was Loki and Thor, soft against chapped. It was perfect and imperfect. The moment they pulled away from each other they heard the faint clap of thunder and seconds later Thor was blushing and caressing Loki's cheek.
"I do want this, Loki."
The look in Thor's eyes pushed any and all doubt from Loki's mind.
"No one else, but me?"
"No one else, but you."
Loki stood and pulled Thor up with him, walking towards the bed Loki only paused to wave his hand and clean up the mess the tray had made. Looking down at were the stew was, Loki felt a small sadness for his dinner. Thor nudged Loki and told him that he'd have stew tomorrow if he wished. Crawling under the blankets, Thor and Loki watched each other, not saying a word.
Loki traced small scars and cuts Thor had on his neck, and Thor caressed Loki's arms and face. They both could get used to this. Loki snuggled up against Thor's chest and drifted off to sleep. If Thor had noticed Loki grinning he didn't say anything, but he did return the grin.