Ray Carling and the DS Dilemma
This is an idea based on my best friend who is Peachgirl09 uncle who looks like Ray so between my family and hers we have the CID team kind of. Right this is not amazing but contains a lot of swearing so I apologies in advance if anyone is offended. This is set in 2011 if you are wondering. Please R&R
Disclaimer: - awwwh own nothing because life is the pits some days.
January was bitterly cold month and the snow was piled up thick outside the Gene/Drake household. Molly was lounging lazily in her pyjamas playing on her new ipod when the doorbell shattered the eerie silence.
"I'll get it mum"
"Molls your mum's in the shower and I'm in the study working so if that's your mates keep it down. Alright?"
"Course Gene"
Moll bounded off out of the living room and torpedoed down the hallway and flung the door open in about 15 seconds from getting up. There on the doorstop was Shaz, Chris and Ray huddled there wrapped in woolly hat, scarf and mittens: - well apart from Ray who wore his normal leather jacket because apparently he did not get cold. Yeh right in his dreams, it was just to keep up his hard man act. With a gigantic smile from Molly she cheerily invited them in to the living room but feeling slightly awkward standing there in her pyjamas.
"Hey guys sit down let me tell Gene your here, I will get dressed and extract mum out of the shower or she will be in there for the rest of the day"
With that she shouted for Gene who strutted in and she then thundered up the stairs calling for her mum. She found her mum brushing her hair, she told her about the gang taking over their living room and so Alex glided down the stair to greet her friends. Molly hurriedly grabbed a pair of grey jeggins and a massively sloppy pink and grey jumper. Before she made her way back down to the adults below she grabbed her bright red DS with its hundred and one games so she could be entertained when the conversation veered off interesting into mundane.
However much she loved her mum, Gene and the rest of them they had an awful habit of repeating themselves when they had a few too many drinks. It was now four thirty exactly four hours ago they had all decided to congregate for a festive drink; catch up and talk about work (of course). But now 4 bottles of red wine and numerous bottles of beers later they were drunk and probably borderline paralytic. Before the alcohol had intoxicated their blood flow Molly had found their conversations fascinating. Especially all the juicy details about the latest murder crimes or unique cases. She also found the discussion about Shaz and Chris's wedding plans interesting and hilarious as Chris had obviously just nodded to Shaz's ideas and so could not remember the plans, details or colour themes which of course infuriated Shaz and Alex but made her, Gene and Ray explode into fits of giggles while Chris just sat there like a lost puppy in big big trouble.
But now was a completely different story the conversations seemed to be on a loop like they were all stuck on a broken record. At times you could not hear what they were saying because of laugher or because they were slurring terribly. So, becoming rather bored Molly whipped out her DS and insert Brain Training. She might as well stretch and look after hers if they insisted in frying theirs' alive in vats of alcohol. After calculating her Brain age via the variations of tests (which was bang on thank you very much) she started going through the activities you could choose from. Her favourite was the colour words. It is where you see a colour written down but instead of saying it you say the colour it is coloured for example if the word was BLACK but coloured in pink you would say pink and so on. So selecting it she waited for the countdown to start for her to play.
3...2...1...GO
"Pink...Red...Orange...Black...Pink...Blue"
Everyone had stopped talking almost as soon as Mollyhad started talking into her console. They all exchanged a puzzled look which was pretty hilarious because their facial features weren't going in the positions they were supposed to be going.
"What the bloody hell are you doing Molls Bolls; you are turning in to your mum, a box of demented frogs or a fruitcake with nuts in"
"Huh no Gene it this game on my console it's supposed to help your brain and then see how mentally old you are"
"Well Molly sweetheart I think Ray could not get his below seventy because we all know that he has nothing between his ears and not just that he is practically allergic to technology"
"Oh shut up Alex, Come here Molly what do ya do. I will show your 1st degree honour mother that Manchester men have more brains than these southern twats."
So Molly explained the objective of the game to Ray. She set it up so once he had completed two minutes of the activate the DS would calculate his brain age. So with a small smile to Molly he focused on the screen, his forehead creased and he pouted for extra concentration. He was in the zone as they say.
3...2...1...GO!
"Red...Black...Purple...Red... Blue... Green, this is so easy even the Div could do this"
"Oh leave my babes out of this alright Ray"
"Fuck off Shaz I'm only having a laugh"
"No you're always having a pop at him leave it out"
To break the sudden tension Molly extracted Ray's attention back to the game in hand. "Look Ray round 2 is about to start" and with that Ray started once more going over the various colours which appeared. Then...
"Blue...Blue...I said Blue...Christ sake blue...Fucks sake. What that worked Christ. Huh and that did too it's picking me up swearing. Red.. Red... its red you soddin piece of crap."
Each time Ray swore it would move on to the next stage because it was accepting his rude words as the correct answers rather than the actual colours. This really infuriated him because it was making him a laughing stock. He could not even do a relatively simple game without it going as he would say tits up. His face was becoming redder and redder with frustration. He could see everyone around laughing and baiting him. Alex was in fits of giggles and nearly fell of her chair with excitement. Gene was full on belly laughing at him which he really did not appreciate because this would be around CID like a flash. Also Shaz and Chris were hugging each other while sobbing hysterically with laughter in to each others' shoulders. Ray was about to propel the stupid retarded piece of useless technology through the air until his eyes meet with little Molly. She was sat there in front of him, crossed legged with a small gracious smile on her face and pity in her eyes. Molly then muttered something under her breath "prove them wrong". With that Ray decided to have ago and have a laugh anyway it was only a game right?
"For fucks sake you know what I think this machine is... racist." If anything the detectives laughed louder if that was possible.
"Ray mate, how could a machine be racist" enquired Chris
"It's my Manchurian accent isn't it? It is just coz I can't say things proper like lady muck over there" gesturing to Alex.
"Fine then if this thing wants a competition it's got one. Bring It one" So Ray decided to play this the non traditional way and it kind of went like this...
"Fuck...Bullocks...Crap...Hell...Bastard...Get in there round three here I come...Scum...Twats...Div...Shit...Christ... whops last round come on... Tosser...Prick...Wanker...yes game complete it's calculating my score"
Everyone sat there in silence for two long minutes while the DS did its stuff then a loud drum roll echoed through its speakers which nearly made poor Ray drop the damn thing.
"Get in there I got 36 years old. Go me huh who's the best?"
"Wow mate that's like 15 years off your real age" shouted Chris across the room
"Fuck off you Div I ain't that old and if you want your neck in tacked for the wedding shut the hell up"
"How old are you Ray?" Alex asked sweetly.
"44 so miss Drake soon to be Hunt what was your score on this thingy ma bobby"
"I haven't done it as yet"
"Liar, liar frilly lingerie on fire. You have I saw your name on the start page. They don't call me a detective for nothing love."
"Ok I got ..."
"What didn't hear you Alex"
"I got ..."
"God sake woman speak up for Christ's sake."
"Sixty fucking four alright Carling"
"hahahah and you are the one with the private education, posh university and impressive CV. Well obviously you are not as clever as you make out to be."
"Fuck off Ray I cannot be dealing with your bullshit"
So for once Ray Carling had actually succeeded at something and without mucking it up. He even had thwarted Alex Drake at something and to be honest that was such a rarity so he could not help but bask in his moment in the glorious metaphorical sunshine. Ok so he would never beat Alex at anything else until she was in yet another coma but hey a man can start somewhere right. And the battle for the supreme DI was still raging.
Alex Drake: - 153 Ray Carling: - 1
But others would say the battle and the war was already lost.
Hope you like it. It was just a silly idea like I said I don't think It's that good but I just wanted to get it up there for you all to see so please drop me a line and tell me what you think. Thx for reading love Alex