A/N: I uploaded this on behalf of the TombRaiderInc crew. However, I did not actually write any of it, aside from
fixing a few grammatical/spelling errors. We don't own Lara Croft, Richard Thomas, or The Waltons, or Mr.Basil.
This "Quest" originally appeared at www.forums.tombraider.be. Special thanks and kudos to everyone who
contributed to it. Please keep your hands inside the ride at all times.
"The Quest for the ????"
By
The TombRaiderInc Forum Members
The Crofteers:
Prelude, THE True Lara, Aquarius, Donmichael, Kitty, Dagger of Xian,
Laramaniac, DKSM, TRChik, and of course, Lara Croft!
Special Guest:
Richard Thomas
Croft Manor, early hours of the morning. A dark mysterious car pulls up outside, a single hooded figure emerges
from the car and approaches the old oak doors of Croft Manor…
A somewhat startled and disturbed looking Prelude opens the door…
Figure: Morning!
Prelude (Known as 'Lude from this point on): Is it? Damn it! I did it again…
Figure: Excuse me?
'Lude: Why, what did you do?
Figure: Erm… nothing…
'Lude: Are you sure?
Figure: Yes!
'Lude: Is this the kitchen?
Figure: Erm… no.
'Lude: Damn it! It's morning already and I still haven't found the kitchen!
Figure: Erm… Lady Croft?
'Lude: *shaking the figure's hand furiously* Luke Skywalker, pleased to meet you.
Figure: Erm… you too, I guess…
'Lude: Hang on a minute! You're not Lady Croft, you really shouldn't be throwing around wild insinuations like
that, especially HERE, you know…
Figure: I meant I am looking for Lady Croft. Does she live here?
'Lude: Hmm… let me think…this is Croft Manor, who do you think lives here – Batman?!
Figure: Well do you think I could see her?
'Lude: I don't know, are you blind?
Figure: No.
'Lude: Well then why are you asking me? Sheesh!
* 'Lude wonders off mumbling to herself*
*shouts upstairs* Lara, there is some weird blind guy here calling himself Lara Croft and looking for Batman…
Figure: *calling after 'Lude* Could you just tell her that.
*Lara comes down the stairs* Why don't you tell me yourself and while you're at it, come up with a bloody good
excuse why you have woken me up at this unearthly hour?
Figure: Ah, Lady Croft, believe me - you are going to want to hear what I have to say.
Lara: Oh really?
Figure: Yes. I need your help on a very important issue - a lost artifact.
Lara: *cutting him off* Perhaps you should come in, please.
*Lara shows the way to the drawing room where Lude is sitting on top of a side table chewing a book and mumbling
about the dark side of the force*
Lara: Now, Mr.…?
Figure: Richard Thomas. You may remember me from the hit TV series The Waltons and films like The Waltons
The Thanksgiving Story, The Waltons Thanksgiving Reunion, A Waltons Wedding, A Waltons Easter, and Big and
Hairy …
Lara: No. What can I do for you? You mentioned an artifact…
RT: Yes, a very old family heirloom. It has been in my family for centuries. It has been stolen - I would like your
help to retrieve it.
Lara: I see.
*Just then The True Lara enters the room. She has her head in a Dr. Who book*
TTL: I heard the door, tea anyone? *She never lifts her head from the book and automatically walks into the
adjoining kitchen*
'Lude: *jumping off the table* How does she do that? I've been looking for the kitchen all night. * 'Lude sits
opposite RT and stares at him*
Lara: You've met Lu…
RT: Yes Luke Skywalker, we met, sort of, I think…
Lara: *smiling* You don't get out much, do you?
RT: No, I haven't been able to of late, you see I can't -I'm too ashamed to show my face in public these days, unlike
you Miss Croft, I hear you are quite the adventurer.
Lara: Well, I travel. Now about this problem of yours…
*TTL enters the room, tray with teapot in one hand, book in the other, sits next to 'Lude and pours tea for all with
head still in book*
RT: Yes, erm, it's really very private and personal, can we speak alone?
*Lara says nothing, just gets up, goes to the kitchen and brings back a fresh cream cake. She hands it to 'Lude and
sits back down*
Lara: We are alone, go on.
RT: Erm …but they are still here *confused*
Lara: Believe me, we are alone. TTL is far too busy with the Timelord, and 'Lude, well, all that exists in her world
right now is her and that cake… but you had better be quick - I estimate you have about 30 seconds.
RT: *waves hand in front of 'Lude and gets no response* Well, as I mentioned, this heirloom has been in our family
for centuries. It was passed down from generation to generation and finally entrusted to me. Miss Croft, I cannot
express the importance of this item! If my family were to learn that I have lost it, the consequences would be
immeasurable! It is priceless and ageless, and a deadly archaeological artifact. It is thought to date back to the
beginning of time itself…
Lara: Go on, what is it?
RT: Well, it's my…
Lara: Yes!
RT: It's my …mole…
TTL: OH MY GOD!!! THIS IS TERRIBLE!!!
'Lude: *wiping cream from her face* Let me guess, the Timelord just got his scarf stuck in the telephone box doors?
TTL: No, we've run out of tea!
'Lude: You're joking , right?
TTL: No! If I were joking I would say something like… "A horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'why the
long face?"
'Lude: OH MY GOD! You are serious! What are we doing to do? It's the end of the world, it's the end of the world!
I always knew it would happen like this, you and me alone in this cruel, heartless world, with NO TEA!
TTL: It's OK, I've got some more in the kitchen. I'll just go and get another pot.
'Lude: Oh OK, I'll come with you, for it is a perilous journey.
*TTL leaves the room, followed by 'Lude bouncing off the walls and spouting Star Wars quotes*
Lara: Let me get this straight. You come here asking me to help you look for your mole-
RT: Well, yes.
Lara: I see. Remember when I said you'd better have a good reason for waking me up? Well, THAT wasn't good
enough!
RT: Wait! Miss Croft, please let me explain! I can't show my face in public! The humiliation is just too much, and I
have been asked to do a reunion show for The Waltons, it's called The Waltons Reunion: A Waltons Story. I cannot
refuse it - it's a chance to re-launch my career! I haven't worked for years *sobbing* and everything I have done has
been a big flop, well apart from Big and Hairy which was an ENORMOUS flop!
Lara: That's fascinating, but really, I think you have mistaken me for someone who cares…
RT: *stops sobbing* I'll pay you…
Lara: I'm not in it for the money, Mr. Thomas. I'm in it for the glory, and as you are an old has-been with the sexual
capacity of a rotting rhino and the personality of wet lettuce, I will bid you good day. You know where the door is.
RT: Miss Croft, I haven't been entirely straight with you. There is more that I must now tell you…
Lara: Don't tell me you've lost your glasses as well!!!
RT: Please, hear me out, this is no ordinary mole… it is the mole of the great ancients…What I am about to tell you
has been kept a secret since the beginning of time. Only my family have had the knowledge of the mole's power,
unfortunately it would seem that someone else has learnt of it's whereabouts, and now I entrust you with the secret,
but you must promise never to reveal it to anyone else…
Lara: Just hurry up!!!
RT: It is not a mole at all, …..it is a radio transmitter for speaking to God!!!
Lara: *laughs out loud* You are insane!!!
RT: I speak the truth. Legend has it, the Ark of the Covenant, which is believed to still hold the Ten
Commandments, renowned for its mysterious powers against the enemies of Israel, was said to hold the power to
communicate with God, but the ancient text is wrong. The Ark was God's throne in His dwelling place in the
Tabernacle. Most people associate the Ark of the Covenant with judgement and wrath, rightly so. The day is soon
coming when God will judge the secrets of people's hearts and "the wrath of God is revealed from heaven upon all
ungodliness and unrighteousness of people who suppress the truth" There was a cover on the Ark, known as the
Mercy Seat, or Propitiation Cover. It was here that the blood of a goat was sprinkled by the high priest on the Day of
Atonement, to appease God's righteous anger for the sins of the people of Israel-
*Lara yawns*
RT: *continuing* Attached to the Ark's covering lid were two Cherubim. God's presence did not dwell inside the
box, but remained over the Ark, in between the two Cherubim. Here God dwelt "in unapproachable light". The high
priest had to shield his eyes, because "no man shall see Me and live". This was where God met with Moses. The two
Cherubim on the Mercy Seat represented God's glory. We are not told in great detail exactly what the Ark of the
Covenant looked like. Some show the Cherubim kneeling. Other models show the Cherubim standing. What we do
know is that the wings of the Cherubim were stretched out, to cover the Mercy Seat; the wings of the two Cherubim
possibly touched one another to form a complete covering.
Lara: Yes, a very dear friend of mine once claimed he had found it. Personally, I think he was just trying to score
points with me.
RT: But the Ark was just a container Miss Croft, a ruse to put people off the scent of the real score of power,
contained within the Ark itself!
Lara: Yes, yes I know all this, what's your point!?
RT: History writes that the following items were contain within the Ark:
1. The two stone tablets of the Law.
2. Aaron's rod that budded,
3. The golden pot of 'hidden' manna.
But it does not mention the most important item, the item with the power of God itself: the Moleuisous of Mashal!!!
Lara: The power of the Mole? Wait! I have heard of this…
*Lara goes to a bookshelf and pulls out a book, she flicks through the pages. Meanwhile TTL and 'Lude have
returned and assumed their previous positions of the sofa*
Lara: Here it is. The Moleuisous of Mashal, said to be the key to all within, the key that would last forever. It is
round, indicating eternal; it is brown, indicating the earth. The Mole indicates eternal life. Our life needs to be
"hidden with Christ in God" and we need to know "Christ our life", eternal life. The Moleuisous of Mashal was a
memorial of how the Lord had sustained His people in an impossible situation. Christ is real and applicable to every
person in every age in every circumstance. Therefore He gave it the shape of the mole, to show that even in its
ugliest form it was a part of all people. Then it goes on to say something about a Hair and a Tortoise…
RT: Yes, that is the bedtime story, Miss Croft, but history leaves out the most frightening part of all. On it's own the
mole, other than looking very attractive, is quite powerless, but when the mole is reunited with the Hair of Judah it
gives it's possessor the power of God! Someone has learnt this disturbing news and I fear for the world, should this
power fall into the wrong hands!
Lara: My father once told me of a group of people called the Hairloomiarty, who sought to find the true power of the
Arch-
RT: Your father was a wise man.
Lara: No, he was a silly old fool who kept popping up in my dreams…Anyway, when did you have the mole last?
RT: I was at home. I had just received the script for the reunion show, I had had a drink to celebrate, but fell ill and
went to bed. When I woke up it was gone! *reaches into pocket* Here is a picture of me and the mole, taken some
time ago, but I think I have kept my good looks, no?
Lara: No.
RT: I have to go, the sun is coming up. I cannot be seen in the daylight without the mole! Miss Croft, will you help
me?
Lara: Yes I will, but only for the glory, you understand… I want you to know that I am not in anyway doing this for
YOU, you sad little man.
RT: Thank you, Miss Croft. You can reach me on this number. *He hands Lara a card* I hope you and your
…strange friends have a nice day. Goodnight Mom…goodnight Mary Ellen…goodnight Johnny Boy…
*RT leaves*
Lara: Strange man…
* 'Lude is now asleep and drooling, and TTL still has her head in her book. Lara throws a pillow at 'Lude and
snatches the book out of TTL's hand*
TTL: No! Not now! The cyber men were just about to …
* 'Lude jumps up* Jam all over! Aww… I was having the most amazing dream, there was this huge…
Lara: That's fascinating, both of you. Now assemble the Crofteers! We have a mission!
fixing a few grammatical/spelling errors. We don't own Lara Croft, Richard Thomas, or The Waltons, or Mr.Basil.
This "Quest" originally appeared at www.forums.tombraider.be. Special thanks and kudos to everyone who
contributed to it. Please keep your hands inside the ride at all times.
"The Quest for the ????"
By
The TombRaiderInc Forum Members
The Crofteers:
Prelude, THE True Lara, Aquarius, Donmichael, Kitty, Dagger of Xian,
Laramaniac, DKSM, TRChik, and of course, Lara Croft!
Special Guest:
Richard Thomas
Croft Manor, early hours of the morning. A dark mysterious car pulls up outside, a single hooded figure emerges
from the car and approaches the old oak doors of Croft Manor…
A somewhat startled and disturbed looking Prelude opens the door…
Figure: Morning!
Prelude (Known as 'Lude from this point on): Is it? Damn it! I did it again…
Figure: Excuse me?
'Lude: Why, what did you do?
Figure: Erm… nothing…
'Lude: Are you sure?
Figure: Yes!
'Lude: Is this the kitchen?
Figure: Erm… no.
'Lude: Damn it! It's morning already and I still haven't found the kitchen!
Figure: Erm… Lady Croft?
'Lude: *shaking the figure's hand furiously* Luke Skywalker, pleased to meet you.
Figure: Erm… you too, I guess…
'Lude: Hang on a minute! You're not Lady Croft, you really shouldn't be throwing around wild insinuations like
that, especially HERE, you know…
Figure: I meant I am looking for Lady Croft. Does she live here?
'Lude: Hmm… let me think…this is Croft Manor, who do you think lives here – Batman?!
Figure: Well do you think I could see her?
'Lude: I don't know, are you blind?
Figure: No.
'Lude: Well then why are you asking me? Sheesh!
* 'Lude wonders off mumbling to herself*
*shouts upstairs* Lara, there is some weird blind guy here calling himself Lara Croft and looking for Batman…
Figure: *calling after 'Lude* Could you just tell her that.
*Lara comes down the stairs* Why don't you tell me yourself and while you're at it, come up with a bloody good
excuse why you have woken me up at this unearthly hour?
Figure: Ah, Lady Croft, believe me - you are going to want to hear what I have to say.
Lara: Oh really?
Figure: Yes. I need your help on a very important issue - a lost artifact.
Lara: *cutting him off* Perhaps you should come in, please.
*Lara shows the way to the drawing room where Lude is sitting on top of a side table chewing a book and mumbling
about the dark side of the force*
Lara: Now, Mr.…?
Figure: Richard Thomas. You may remember me from the hit TV series The Waltons and films like The Waltons
The Thanksgiving Story, The Waltons Thanksgiving Reunion, A Waltons Wedding, A Waltons Easter, and Big and
Hairy …
Lara: No. What can I do for you? You mentioned an artifact…
RT: Yes, a very old family heirloom. It has been in my family for centuries. It has been stolen - I would like your
help to retrieve it.
Lara: I see.
*Just then The True Lara enters the room. She has her head in a Dr. Who book*
TTL: I heard the door, tea anyone? *She never lifts her head from the book and automatically walks into the
adjoining kitchen*
'Lude: *jumping off the table* How does she do that? I've been looking for the kitchen all night. * 'Lude sits
opposite RT and stares at him*
Lara: You've met Lu…
RT: Yes Luke Skywalker, we met, sort of, I think…
Lara: *smiling* You don't get out much, do you?
RT: No, I haven't been able to of late, you see I can't -I'm too ashamed to show my face in public these days, unlike
you Miss Croft, I hear you are quite the adventurer.
Lara: Well, I travel. Now about this problem of yours…
*TTL enters the room, tray with teapot in one hand, book in the other, sits next to 'Lude and pours tea for all with
head still in book*
RT: Yes, erm, it's really very private and personal, can we speak alone?
*Lara says nothing, just gets up, goes to the kitchen and brings back a fresh cream cake. She hands it to 'Lude and
sits back down*
Lara: We are alone, go on.
RT: Erm …but they are still here *confused*
Lara: Believe me, we are alone. TTL is far too busy with the Timelord, and 'Lude, well, all that exists in her world
right now is her and that cake… but you had better be quick - I estimate you have about 30 seconds.
RT: *waves hand in front of 'Lude and gets no response* Well, as I mentioned, this heirloom has been in our family
for centuries. It was passed down from generation to generation and finally entrusted to me. Miss Croft, I cannot
express the importance of this item! If my family were to learn that I have lost it, the consequences would be
immeasurable! It is priceless and ageless, and a deadly archaeological artifact. It is thought to date back to the
beginning of time itself…
Lara: Go on, what is it?
RT: Well, it's my…
Lara: Yes!
RT: It's my …mole…
TTL: OH MY GOD!!! THIS IS TERRIBLE!!!
'Lude: *wiping cream from her face* Let me guess, the Timelord just got his scarf stuck in the telephone box doors?
TTL: No, we've run out of tea!
'Lude: You're joking , right?
TTL: No! If I were joking I would say something like… "A horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'why the
long face?"
'Lude: OH MY GOD! You are serious! What are we doing to do? It's the end of the world, it's the end of the world!
I always knew it would happen like this, you and me alone in this cruel, heartless world, with NO TEA!
TTL: It's OK, I've got some more in the kitchen. I'll just go and get another pot.
'Lude: Oh OK, I'll come with you, for it is a perilous journey.
*TTL leaves the room, followed by 'Lude bouncing off the walls and spouting Star Wars quotes*
Lara: Let me get this straight. You come here asking me to help you look for your mole-
RT: Well, yes.
Lara: I see. Remember when I said you'd better have a good reason for waking me up? Well, THAT wasn't good
enough!
RT: Wait! Miss Croft, please let me explain! I can't show my face in public! The humiliation is just too much, and I
have been asked to do a reunion show for The Waltons, it's called The Waltons Reunion: A Waltons Story. I cannot
refuse it - it's a chance to re-launch my career! I haven't worked for years *sobbing* and everything I have done has
been a big flop, well apart from Big and Hairy which was an ENORMOUS flop!
Lara: That's fascinating, but really, I think you have mistaken me for someone who cares…
RT: *stops sobbing* I'll pay you…
Lara: I'm not in it for the money, Mr. Thomas. I'm in it for the glory, and as you are an old has-been with the sexual
capacity of a rotting rhino and the personality of wet lettuce, I will bid you good day. You know where the door is.
RT: Miss Croft, I haven't been entirely straight with you. There is more that I must now tell you…
Lara: Don't tell me you've lost your glasses as well!!!
RT: Please, hear me out, this is no ordinary mole… it is the mole of the great ancients…What I am about to tell you
has been kept a secret since the beginning of time. Only my family have had the knowledge of the mole's power,
unfortunately it would seem that someone else has learnt of it's whereabouts, and now I entrust you with the secret,
but you must promise never to reveal it to anyone else…
Lara: Just hurry up!!!
RT: It is not a mole at all, …..it is a radio transmitter for speaking to God!!!
Lara: *laughs out loud* You are insane!!!
RT: I speak the truth. Legend has it, the Ark of the Covenant, which is believed to still hold the Ten
Commandments, renowned for its mysterious powers against the enemies of Israel, was said to hold the power to
communicate with God, but the ancient text is wrong. The Ark was God's throne in His dwelling place in the
Tabernacle. Most people associate the Ark of the Covenant with judgement and wrath, rightly so. The day is soon
coming when God will judge the secrets of people's hearts and "the wrath of God is revealed from heaven upon all
ungodliness and unrighteousness of people who suppress the truth" There was a cover on the Ark, known as the
Mercy Seat, or Propitiation Cover. It was here that the blood of a goat was sprinkled by the high priest on the Day of
Atonement, to appease God's righteous anger for the sins of the people of Israel-
*Lara yawns*
RT: *continuing* Attached to the Ark's covering lid were two Cherubim. God's presence did not dwell inside the
box, but remained over the Ark, in between the two Cherubim. Here God dwelt "in unapproachable light". The high
priest had to shield his eyes, because "no man shall see Me and live". This was where God met with Moses. The two
Cherubim on the Mercy Seat represented God's glory. We are not told in great detail exactly what the Ark of the
Covenant looked like. Some show the Cherubim kneeling. Other models show the Cherubim standing. What we do
know is that the wings of the Cherubim were stretched out, to cover the Mercy Seat; the wings of the two Cherubim
possibly touched one another to form a complete covering.
Lara: Yes, a very dear friend of mine once claimed he had found it. Personally, I think he was just trying to score
points with me.
RT: But the Ark was just a container Miss Croft, a ruse to put people off the scent of the real score of power,
contained within the Ark itself!
Lara: Yes, yes I know all this, what's your point!?
RT: History writes that the following items were contain within the Ark:
1. The two stone tablets of the Law.
2. Aaron's rod that budded,
3. The golden pot of 'hidden' manna.
But it does not mention the most important item, the item with the power of God itself: the Moleuisous of Mashal!!!
Lara: The power of the Mole? Wait! I have heard of this…
*Lara goes to a bookshelf and pulls out a book, she flicks through the pages. Meanwhile TTL and 'Lude have
returned and assumed their previous positions of the sofa*
Lara: Here it is. The Moleuisous of Mashal, said to be the key to all within, the key that would last forever. It is
round, indicating eternal; it is brown, indicating the earth. The Mole indicates eternal life. Our life needs to be
"hidden with Christ in God" and we need to know "Christ our life", eternal life. The Moleuisous of Mashal was a
memorial of how the Lord had sustained His people in an impossible situation. Christ is real and applicable to every
person in every age in every circumstance. Therefore He gave it the shape of the mole, to show that even in its
ugliest form it was a part of all people. Then it goes on to say something about a Hair and a Tortoise…
RT: Yes, that is the bedtime story, Miss Croft, but history leaves out the most frightening part of all. On it's own the
mole, other than looking very attractive, is quite powerless, but when the mole is reunited with the Hair of Judah it
gives it's possessor the power of God! Someone has learnt this disturbing news and I fear for the world, should this
power fall into the wrong hands!
Lara: My father once told me of a group of people called the Hairloomiarty, who sought to find the true power of the
Arch-
RT: Your father was a wise man.
Lara: No, he was a silly old fool who kept popping up in my dreams…Anyway, when did you have the mole last?
RT: I was at home. I had just received the script for the reunion show, I had had a drink to celebrate, but fell ill and
went to bed. When I woke up it was gone! *reaches into pocket* Here is a picture of me and the mole, taken some
time ago, but I think I have kept my good looks, no?
Lara: No.
RT: I have to go, the sun is coming up. I cannot be seen in the daylight without the mole! Miss Croft, will you help
me?
Lara: Yes I will, but only for the glory, you understand… I want you to know that I am not in anyway doing this for
YOU, you sad little man.
RT: Thank you, Miss Croft. You can reach me on this number. *He hands Lara a card* I hope you and your
…strange friends have a nice day. Goodnight Mom…goodnight Mary Ellen…goodnight Johnny Boy…
*RT leaves*
Lara: Strange man…
* 'Lude is now asleep and drooling, and TTL still has her head in her book. Lara throws a pillow at 'Lude and
snatches the book out of TTL's hand*
TTL: No! Not now! The cyber men were just about to …
* 'Lude jumps up* Jam all over! Aww… I was having the most amazing dream, there was this huge…
Lara: That's fascinating, both of you. Now assemble the Crofteers! We have a mission!