Never be Stilled
"Close your eyes, girl. Now picture a rose bud, small yet perfectly formed…" the Aes Sedai's voice continues, but it is a background murmur behind the glow of the One Power.
Mierin smiles in delight as she opens her eyes to see a flame sitting in the palm of her hand. It is still, as if time had stopped. Mierin has seen other novices do this many times, but never has she seen a still flame. The stillness goes against the very nature of the flame, and Mierin shivers.
"I will never be stilled," she whispers to herself and lets the flame die. The Aes Sedai teaching her gives her a strange look; most Aes Sedai don't worry about stilling unless they have committed a great crime.
"Have you done something you wish to confess, daughter?" the ageless woman asks. Mierin shakes her head, almost panicked.
"No! I just – I just don't want to ever lose the Power," she explains quickly. The Aes Sedai nods, pacified.
"You must not become too fond of the Power…" she lectures. Mierin has heard it before.
I will channel as much as I can, she vows to herself. I'll never be stilled.
Mierin conjures the flame again and again in the semi-privacy of her shared room. However many times she tries, she can't make the flame move. She never can; not now, not ever. The unmoving flame becomes a symbol of defiance for her, and every night she uses it to remind herself that if she isn't careful, all her plans could vanish with her abilities.
I don't care what happens, but I'll never be stilled.