Day 1 -
It's finally that time of year again. It seems like my colleagues have been anticipating this moment, but...it's not all that great. We're just creating more of the beings that enslaved us and took control of our planet in the first place...
I remember it all too well - the horror, the fear, the screaming...the Tallest taking control of our lives. And now we're stuck here. It's horrible. I can't imagine anything worse - plus, if I try to escape, the Tallest will kill me, and most likely my colleagues.
At this stage in development, the fifty new invaders are nothing but small balls of light, floating in their life-supporting liquid. At the moment, they don't need any air tubes, but they will soon. By then, they should be farther along in growth as well.
Each invader is codenamed with a string of numbers and then a name, usually only three letters. The computer we use generates the names and codes for us, so we have no say in what each invader will be named. However, it doesn't seem to matter all that much.
This year, I was in charge of pressing the button that would give them their names. The last one I named was also last alphabetically - I'm not sure how an Irken invader could cope with a strange name like Zim. Something about him seems...different, though.
The ball of light that is Zim seems to be slightly duller than the others. I've spent all day (apart from naming the invaders and writing in this journal) patrolling the lab, and I keep comparing Zim to the others. I can't help but wonder why I have this strange feeling about him.
Day 2 -
None of the invaders have developed much yet. I've been keeping a close watch on them, and I think I'm starting to see the tiny points of their antennae within the little ball of light. It's interesting to watch them develop, but it still pains me to think of how their elders took over our planet.
My colleagues have been working as well, but it feels like I'm working the hardest. Not to be rude, but most of them are boisterous, and even seem cheerful. How horrible it is to think that I can never be happy again after the Tallest took over our lives.
I feel sorry for my friends. They cannot grasp the full extent of what has happened to us.
Day 3 -
In a few days, we will figure out which invaders have less of a chance of survival than the others. I have a bad feeling about Zim, though. Unlike the others, he still looks just like he did on day one. I can't help but wonder if something is wrong with him.
Quite a few of the invaders appear to be coming along quite nicely. I can see antennae now, but I can't see any eyes yet. Fortunately, they should start to develop by tomorrow, so I'll be able to see how they're doing. I hope the eyes turn out okay...
...What am I saying? I'm talking about creatures who soiled our home with their monsters, their machines...and their aggressive way of destroying everything that ever mattered to me. I wonder if the Tallest's way of thinking is starting to get to me.
Day 4 -
I'm starting to see eyes. Every time I stare at one of the chambers the future invaders live in, I can imagine their bright red eyes staring straight at me. I still have nightmares of those eyes. In one, I saw myself with the eyes of the Irken invaders.
The only other known eye color is purple, which is extremely rare among these invaders. The purple member of the Tallest was born with that color. I wonder if he will prefer a certain invader if they had purple eyes. It seems likely that the Tallest's members would have at least slightly biased opinions about invaders.
Zim still hasn't changed. I hope he will have at least developed antennae by tomorrow. Tomorrow should be a better day - on day five, we give the invaders the air tubes. Day five is about when their lungs are developed enough to require air.
I keep staring at the tube Zim will be stuck in until he is fully developed. I wonder where I will attach the air tubes if he's still a ball of light tomorrow.
Day 5 -
Now that the invaders are using air tubes, I'm beginning to see large steps in their development. Five of the fifty invaders either have pros or cons in their growth. For future reference, I suppose I should list the invaders and what problems they have.
Number one is probably one of the worst - Invader Jay. There's nothing wrong with his air tubes, but he's barely breathing anyway. Something inside his body is defective, but he's too early in development for us to figure out what it is.
Invader Kri, number two on the list, has an extra pair of antennae. Kri's first pair of antennae are coming along quite nicely, and pair number two are fine as well. I have no idea about whether this extra pair will give her an advantage or a disadvantage.
Number three was named Invader Rol, and he's missing an eye. He seems to have one eye in the center of his forehead, and if that eye doesn't move away from the center and another eye doesn't start developing, he will probably be rendered useless.
The invader known as Wax is number four. For some strange reason, he has developed, of all things, a tail. As you may have guessed, Irken invaders don't have tails. An invader with a tail is apparently completely new to this Irken ship, because none of the others have tails...unless they have been removed.
In my opinion, the fifth case is the worst, for you see...it's Zim. He hasn't developed at all. He's still duller than the light left in the developing bodies of the other invaders, and...we may have to kill him. The Tallest will only think of Zim as a waste of their time if this is the case.
Day 6 -
We received a report from the Tallest today - they will be checking up on the future invaders in two days. This is the last thing we need right now - I don't want them to instruct us to kill Zim...or any of the invaders. Despite the fact that I cannot stand their elders, they don't deserve to die before they get a chance to live.
There isn't much to be said today. Jay is barely breathing, just like before. Kri is doing quite nicely, but Rol's eye hasn't changed at all. Wax is fine as well, but Zim hasn't changed yet. It's been six days, and most of the invaders are getting closer to being finished.
I'm becoming very nervous about Zim. I feel like I have some sort of...kinship with him. I know that they all matter equally, but Zim is just...different. I can only hope that he will survive - I hope he doesn't turn out like some of the invaders in the past...dead.
Day 7 -
About an hour ago, I heard my colleagues talking in the other room. I find it awful how they are discussing the Tallest's visit with actual excitement. It's as though they want Invader Jay to die. I can't help but wonder how Jay ended up with such a horrible defect.
Yes, we figured out what's going on with Jay - he has defective lungs. If the Tallest see how he is almost not breathing at all, they will demand that we kill him immediately. I don't want this to happen - I know he will end up dead eventually, but I don't want to be the one to kill him.
Zim still hasn't changed. Once the Tallest see him, they're going to have a fit. If anything, I hope they take it out on me and not Zim. I don't want Zim to die - despite the fact that he still hasn't developed at all, I know he still has life surging within him.
Day 8 -
The Tallest visited today, and they told us we need to kill Jay by tomorrow...or we'll be harshly punished. The purple member of the Tallest kept giving me this strange look. I wonder if it had anything to do with Jay and his poor condition. I'm going to miss the little invader...
I found it disgusting how both Tallest members only laughed when I showed them Kri. They had no comment about her otherwise, which makes me sick. If she keeps that extra pair of antennae, the poor girl will most likely be rendered a social outcast among the other invaders.
The Tallest became serious again when I showed them Invader Rol. They told us that, unless he develops another eye, he will be worthless. If Rol is considered worthless, it's most likely he will be killed as well. At least he'll be somewhere with Jay...right?
Invader Wax had the same problem as Invader Kri - the Tallest laughed about both of them and their conditions instead of telling us what to do. They didn't even tell us to have the tail removed once Wax was born. I have the feeling that he will be a social outcast as well.
I steadily got more and more nervous as we approached Zim. When we finally reached him - the last of the containers in the lab we're using - they were completely silent. I couldn't help but wonder what they were thinking, but then I found out.
"What's...wrong with him?" the red Tallest asked me with a bored look on his face. I paused for a moment, wondering if what I said would affect their decision about what to do with my personal favorite invader. After pondering this for a few moments, I decided to respond.
"His name is Zim, sir," I answered, "and from day one, he's been slightly...duller than the others. But since day one, he hasn't changed at all...What should we do with him?" I stared up at both Tallest members, hoping they would come up with a rational solution.
The purple member spoke up. "As far as I know, there appears to be nothing wrong with him. He's just growing slower than the others. However, if he's still far behind by the time the other invaders are already moving on to their next stage in development, we'll have to use a fast-growth elixir on him."
"Wait," the red member told his partner, "The elixir hasn't been tested yet. We might as well just kill him if he doesn't develop as fast as the others." Fear filled me at the mention of these words. More than anything at that moment, I didn't want Zim to die.
"We'll check up on you again in a few days," the purple Tallest muttered, "In the meantime, keep the invaders healthy until they're ready to progress to their next stage." They left, and I could only hope they would let Zim live. I can only hope...
Day 9 -
I feel very depressed now - it's like a huge hole has been punched through my chest. I had to do the honors of killing Jay this morning...that is, if "doing the honors" is what you'd call it. Once again, my colleagues seemed excited, and I can only wonder if something is wrong with them.
We all stood around Jay's chamber as though some great, amazing event was taking place. I sighed quietly, holding back tears as I unplugged the air tubes. Finally, the monitors at the bottom of the chamber turned red and started beeping obnoxiously.
Jay's lifeless body floated there as though he was still alive. I miss him already. If I walk through the hall, I can't help but pass his chamber. It's empty now - there are no lights whatsoever, and no air tubes. It's like he was never here...
I can only hope that Rol and Zim don't end up like that. Rol hasn't changed one bit, and I'm beginning to get nervous about him, despite the fact that Zim will always be my top priority. Neither of the invaders I just mentioned have changed...It's staring to really scare me.
Whoever's reading this...do you think Rol and Zim will survive? Whoever's reading the journal I currently keep...are you in the future? Have Rol and Zim survived? If only I could know...my, I'm starting to become philosophical. Oh, poor Zim...
Day 10 -
Unlike yesterday, I am practically ecstatic today. It's as if Jay's death is a thing of the past. Today, something absolutely wonderful has happened. It may just be my imagination, but I think I am beginning to see Zim's antennae! Maybe he has a chance of survival after all.
I will never understand how I can be so excited about a race that destroyed my home planet. It doesn't matter now, though. All that matters is that Zim's antennae are becoming visible. At this rate, he may be a full Irken invader sometime soon. Invader Zim...hmm. I like it.
However, there is one thing that's annoying me - how long will it take? Since it took Zim this long just to develop antennae, how long will it be before I can see his eyes? How long will it take? After all, some of the other invaders are almost finished developing already...
Day 11 -
Several of the invaders were released today. The liquid was drained from the chambers and the air tubes were detached. I thought I was used to the wide-eyed, inquisitive look they got when they entered our world for the first time, but I guess I'm not, because it startled me.
The invader nearest to me was called Invader Ara. I watched as she took in the world around her. Suddenly, one of my colleagues walked up to her, took her by the hand, and led her out of the lab. Some of my other colleagues were doing the same thing with the other invaders.
Once in other rooms, they would give the invaders little speeches about their goal in life, and what they were supposed to do. They would then be led off to a room where knowledge about all sorts of subjects would be filtered into their brains through a large machine.
When they came out, they were nothing but Irken invaders, ready to take over planets and continue the Tallest's plot of taking over the universe. No matter what, it's always sad to see them go. I feel like they could just as easily move on to a career of good, and not evil.
Zim hasn't changed at all today. I'm beginning to wonder if the tips of his antennae I saw yesterday were a mere illusion. I hope not...however, I think Rol is starting to develop a second eye. At least Rol has a chance or survival now...maybe.
Day 12 -
More of the invaders left their chambers today, including Kri. I almost hate to admit it, but she is a very beautiful invader. However, the somewhat-cold stare she had as one of my friends led her away made me feel sort of...chilled inside. I felt like a living block of ice.
I wonder what happened to Kri. She seemed so sweet inside her chamber, and now...she seems kind of dark. I hope Zim doesn't turn out that way. Of course, he might never turn out to be anything...I'm very nervous about whether the little guy will evolve or not.
I have the feeling that Invader Wax will be released soon. His tail is taking a little longer to develop, and I'm not sure whether the Tallest will make him cut it off or not. Many of the chambers are empty now...just like Jay's. The whole place is starting to become dark and desolate again.
Day 13 -
The Tallest will be returning in two days. I don't like the sound of their return, though...maybe the purple Tallest member will let Zim and Rol survive a little while longer. Maybe Zim will live to become an invader. Maybe Rol will develop his second eye...
Speaking of that eye, his only eye is starting to move to one side of his head. If it moves far enough, I think the other eye will have a higher chance of developing correctly. Of course, I hope they eyes turn out to be the same size, and not irregularly shaped.
Recently, I was wondering how a one-eyed invader would survive. Not only would they be ridiculed by the other invaders (along with the Tallest), but they would probably do a poorer job of taking over planets because of their bad vision.
Quite a few more invaders were released today. As a matter of fact, two of them came out with purple eyes. That's all for today, though. I guess I can spend the rest of the day staring at Zim's chamber and hoping he will survive...
Day 14 -
I don't think you will believe what my colleagues did last night...They threw a little party while I was trying to sleep. I was in one of our bedrooms, merely staring at the ceiling and wishing I could fall asleep, when I heard a strange pounding sound coming from outside.
When I left the room, I saw pretty much every single one of my colleagues playing around. At first, I thought it wasn't too bad - at least they weren't harming the invaders. But when I noticed the group of empty bottles of...something...on the table, I grew furious.
How can they call themselves proper scientists if they are busy drinking and playing around in a room where they could just as easily be destroying the project we have been working on for fourteen days now? Sometimes, I wonder if the Tallest have changed them from the friends they once were.
We spent all day cleaning up the mess, and I had to help, despite the fact that I never caused any of it. I'm not going to speak to my friends for quite a while after this. I feel very annoyed right now, and I'm mostly writing here just to rant about it.
None of the invaders were released today, even though some are probably ready. My colleagues just spent the whole day making the lab look spotless. It may be spotless now, but the way it looked during the party last night is permanently frozen into the dark recesses of my mind.
Day 15 -
The Tallest came early today to watch us release some of the invaders, including Wax. I watched as one of my dirty, disgusting colleagues left with him while his tail continuously thumped against the ground. I wish Wax didn't have to be contaminated by the colleague that led him out.
We also received an important message - if Rol doesn't have both eyes soon, he will be killed. Zim, on the other hand, was apparently going to be killed, but the Tallest changed their minds at the last minute. Thank goodness...How could they even think about killing Zim?
However, if he doesn't develop soon, they're going to have to use a fast-growth elixir on him...whatever that means. At the moment, I don't care - I'm just happy that Zim survived the Tallest's visit yet again. Despite the fact that he still hasn't changed, it still makes me very happy.
Day 16 -
Sometimes, I wonder what life is like on planet Irk. I've never been there before - since my own planet was taken over by the Tallest, I was sent straight to this ship. I was once told that the Irken residents can actually reproduce normally, but I guess it's nothing but a mere rumor.
More of the invaders were released today, and only a few are left...including Zim and Rol. Neither of them have changed at all today, so I'm feeling quite nervous. I feel like Rol doesn't have much of a chance. Plus, something about that fast-growth elixir sounds deadly.
I remember how the Tallest mentioned the elixir hadn't been tested yet. It sounds dangerous to me, and I don't want them to use it on Zim. For some reason, it makes me feel like Zim is only a test subject, and nothing important. I feel horrible now that I've written that...
I have a bad feeling about tomorrow. I hope it doesn't have anything to do with Zim.
Day 17 -
That bad feeling I mentioned yesterday was on the right track. Today I awoke to find that Rol was barely breathing. It wasn't his air tubes malfunctioning...it was him. We added extra air tubes to his chamber, but I doubt it will help him at all.
I feel like Rol is running out of time. The very thought reminds me of the day I heard that my mother was dead, back on my home planet. She had died rather suddenly, and I was kneeling next to her, staring at her now-pale face.
"Dad?" I had asked, "Why is Mommy sleeping?" I was young then - death was nothing to worry about because I had never heard of it. But when my father explained what it was, I lived in fear. As a matter of fact, I haven't stopped living in fear.
My colleagues have done practically nothing to help Rol other than add the air tubes. They haven't even notified the Tallest, although I'm pretty sure they wouldn't really care about whether an invader was dying or not. It pains me to think that way.
Day 18 -
Rol is still alive, but I don't think he will be for long. For once, Zim isn't my top priority - it's Rol. His breathing is still very slight, and I'm getting extremely nervous now. To make matters worse, what I saw today just made me feel like Rol was already dead.
He is almost completely surrounded by air tubes, and only one is currently in use. Plus, amongst those air tubes, I can see his eyes. They're finished developing...All I can think of is that if Rol pulls through, he can finally be released, because his eyes aren't a problem any more.
Last night, I had a dream in which I saw inside Rol's head. There was nothing inside it but blackness...and a thin, pale blue string. The string looked like it was about to snap, and it did...right when I woke up. I'm guessing the string meant that he's going to die...
Day 19 -
Rol died today. I didn't watch my colleagues empty his chamber - I only stared at Zim's. However, it didn't cheer me up at all. Rol's eyes had completely finished development, and he was ready to be released...if it weren't for the slight breathing, he would've survived.
I feel horrible. I know it probably wasn't my fault, but I feel like I caused Rol's death. Perhaps I did, in some strange, indirect manner. My colleagues are, for once, silent. They haven't said a single thing all day, and I think it's because of Rol.
I heard that the Tallest will be visiting soon. It doesn't matter, though...the only thing that could be worse than Rol dying would be both Rol and Zim dying. I doubt that will happen, but it's hard not to imagine my colleagues emptying Zim's chamber.
Day 20 -
I feel very strange and distant right now. All of the invaders have either been released or have died...except for Zim. Zim is the only one left...and the fact that almost all of the chambers are now dark and empty makes Zim seem like the only thing that matters.
Earlier today, I was patrolling through the lab, and I noticed something strange...The lab is like a hall, with two chambers on either side...except in the case of Zim. There is no chamber across from his. At the moment, I can't figure out what it means, because I feel so distant.
It's day twenty now, and last year, all of the invaders had been released by day twenty. Zim seems to be so far behind...it makes me feel so horrible knowing that the other invaders are getting their training right now, and Zim still hasn't seen the outside world.
I wonder if Rol and Jay both ended up somewhere safe and peaceful. Where do we go after we die? Is there some sort of blissful afterlife...or is there nothing but darkness? Do we have to lie in fire forever...or are we floating on clouds?
Day 21 -
The Tallest will be coming soon to visit Zim and give him the elixir. I couldn't object to their decisions, but I desperately wanted to...and still want to. I know it hasn't been tested yet, and it still scares me, knowing that Zim is basically just a test subject.
I don't have much to write about today. Most of my colleagues were dropped off at a distant planet to merely play around until they are needed. I refused to go - I want to see Zim come into the world. They don't care, but I know I do. Zim is all that matters at the moment.
I just realized something...What if Zim is a little like a combination of the spirits of Jay and Rol? I have no idea what I'm talking about now...Maybe I'm going insane. Maybe I'll just perish - a lone scientist, dead and gone in the endless expanse of space.
Day 22 -
I realized something shocking today. I decided to count all the chambers in the lab because there was nothing better to do. I passed the empty chambers of Jay and Rol, counting as I passed. When I finally reached Zim, I gasped and noticed something odd.
Zim wasn't ever meant to be. We were supposed to create fifty invaders, but somehow, Zim ended up being number fifty-one. I'm still pondering that - Zim was never required to exist. What would you do if you had the choice of existing or not...whoever's reading this?
The Tallest are coming tomorrow. I don't feel like telling them about Zim, though. I don't want them to just kill him because he's an extra. I feel like he was meant to replace Jay or Rol, not just to be a worthless add-on. The very thought of killing Zim chills me now.
It's late now. After writing this, I'm going to go to sleep...but not before I say goodnight to Zim. I wonder if he even knows I exist. Perhaps he doesn't. Perhaps he does. It's all a matter of how you see things, and at the moment...I believe he knows I'm there.
Day 23 -
I don't even feel like writing about the horrors I witnessed today. It pains me to even think of them now. Yes, Zim is alive - and almost fully-developed. The Tallest used the fast-growth elixir on him, and it was the worst thing I have ever seen.
At first, he looked the same as he always has, but then he began developing at an incredibly speedy pace. I recoiled slightly at how fast it happened, as a matter of fact. I could see everything - his antennae, his eyes...he was almost completely developed in that short amount of time.
However, right afterward, I saw something that proved I've gone insane. I blinked, and the only thing I saw was Zim - lying on the ground in front of me, surrounded by blood. When I blinked again, the vision was gone...but something worse was in its place.
Zim was bleeding heavily from within the chamber. The life-supporting liquid he had been surviving on for the past weeks was now tainted with his own, crimson blood. I recoiled in shock as the blood mixed with the fluid, forming a thick, nightmare-inducing substance.
The Tallest watched as he stopped bleeding, and then left without a word. I watched them go, and then turned to Zim. He had stopped bleeding, but he looked extremely pale. Yes, Zim is alive - but barely. If he dies tomorrow, I have no idea how depressed I will become.
Day 24 -
Zim doesn't have much time left in the chamber. He is fully-developed now, but I couldn't bear to release him today, and I guess the two other colleagues who had stayed here with me weren't feeling up for it either. I wonder what's going on inside their minds.
There is something odd about the little invader, though - he keeps twitching from inside his chamber. I wonder if the elixir has something to do with it. If it does, I will never forgive the Tallest - how could they not test the elixir first?
I feel very tired right now - it's like most of my life force has been sucked out of me. I wonder why that is...Maybe it's because I've grown so attached to Zim that I don't want him to go. I don't want him to become one of the many invaders on this ship.
However, I know it's for the best. After all, he deserves to have a chance at life, doesn't he? He deserves to be alive, whether he will be an invader or not. I don't want him to never get to see what the outside world is like. Not at all.
It's very early in the evening right now, but I think I'll try to go to sleep right now. My remaining colleagues can take care of Zim for right now...all I want is sleep. Maybe I'll have peaceful dreams for the first time in years...and maybe I'll never wake up.
Day 25 -
Zim was released today. I woke up a long time afterward - I slept for quite a long time last night and didn't wake up until later today. When I left the bedroom, I noticed that Zim's chamber was dark and empty...just like the other fifty chambers around me.
For a moment, the icy hand of fear gripped me, but then one of my colleagues approached me. "I thought I'd let you give Zim the opening speech on what his purpose is and all that," he muttered, giving me a strange look that didn't appear to mean anything specific.
"He's waiting for you in the other room," my colleague continued before walking away. At first, I felt kind of nervous, but I ignored the feeling and walked up to the other room. Remembering that this was for Zim, I opened the door and stepped inside.
I suppose Zim turned out okay, because he was sitting on the floor and staring up at me with wide, red eyes. The eyes had a strange, otherworldly beauty to them, and for a moment, I was completely entranced. When I finally snapped out of it, I realized that it was finally time.
"Hello, Invader Zim," I began, "Welcome to the ship of the Irken race, which is where you will be living for quite some time..."
Day ? -
It has been many months since I have written in here, and this will be my last entry. The other two colleagues that stayed with me were deposited on a distant planet, and I have stayed behind to help out in any way I can. However, it's mostly because I want to hear about the invaders.
A few minutes ago, I was wandering amongst the chambers, remembering the past invaders that once inhabited them. Suddenly, I heard some voices coming from the hallway. I stood still and tried to listen - the two members of the Tallest were having a conversation.
"I can't believe how most of these invaders have barely changed at all," the red Tallest began, "Surely they were taking care of planets and not wasting their time..." I wondered how an Irken invader could possibly waste their time, but then the purple Tallest spoke up.
"Especially Zim," he responded, "and yet...I feel like he matters somehow. I know he appears to have brain damage, and he destroyed Operation Impending Doom, but I have the feeling he might have some sort of...luck with Earth. It's odd, but I think it might be true."
He had brain damage. He may be just as insane as I am. He destroyed Operation Impending Doom, so the Tallest must be preparing Impending Doom II. But no matter what, he's still Zim. He's still the little invader I got to introduce to the world.
And, for the first time in many years, I smiled.