A gift for and inspired by my friend on tumblr: Nerd-of-the-world
I fucking blame you, Nerd.
Blowing Hot Air;
Jack moaned loudly as he was pushed onto his elbows and knees, leaning forward with an arch of his back as Hiccup fingered him, spreading him wide and stretching him out. Oh that was it, that was good, right there, he groaned, pushing back to the fingers. He didn't know what kind of fucking lube he was using but it was drying out already it seemed and like … was being absorbed in his ass? Whatever.
Yet when he felt Hiccup pull his fingers out, he thought that Hiccup was going to finally put it in, was going to screw him at last yet he felt only horror as Hiccups lips brushed his hole and he blew fucking air into his goddamn ass.
"WHAT THE FUCK HICCUP?!"
"But… it-it's lotion that heats up when you blow on it-"
"That does NOT mean BLOW MY FUCKING ASS OH MY GOD and you used LOTION in my ass as lube? What … Are you trying to make me asshole silky smooth or something and I just … oh my god, Hiccup, my ass TINGLES now and I-I dunno if I'm horny as hell still or weirded out so much I can't . I …"
"… Want me to fuck you still?"
"I'm so fucking done with you, just do it already and screw me before I go soft."
And on that night, they learned lotion was not a good source of lube and never to blow into Jacks ass again, no matter if it heated said 'lube' lotion up.