1. Billy Brown
Blaine tried to hide his sexuality for a very long time. It wasn't hard – he didn't "look gay" or anything and he did legitimately like sports. He was even a good enough actor to pretend he liked girls. And then he moved in with his older sister for a summer, and told his girlfriend that he was terribly sorry, but he really couldn't be attracted to her because she had boobs.
That was the end of the possibility of being closeted. She told everyone the next fall.
That winter, he transferred to Dalton.
He never expected to be so happy there.
And he certainly never expected to meet Kurt Hummel with his ocean eyes.
2. With Me Tonight
Kurt already couldn't remember what their fight was about, but it was awful, and Blaine had sprinted out the apartment into the cold rain. After five minutes, Kurt had followed, not bothering to stop and grab a raincoat or umbrella. He screamed into the wind that whipped away his words, calling for Blaine, intent on apologizing, on his hands and knees if he had to.
When he found Blaine a few minutes later, sitting on a curb, he proceeded to do just that, clasping Blaine's cold hands, begging him to come back, to stay, because he needed him. He needed Blaine to be okay so that he could be okay too.
Ever since the day they'd met, they'd needed each other.
3. Cross Me Off Your List
Kurt had thought, foolishly, that Blaine would be his first everything. He had never dreamed that his first experience with sex would be a one-night stand. He realized that perhaps the fairytale romance he'd spun in his head with Blaine was a little unrealistic, but he didn't think it was unrealistic to want sex to happen in a relationship –
Instead of a one night stand with a drunk, slutty, straight boy.
Kurt refused to cry. He picked himself up and knocked at Blaine's dorm room at three in the morning, apologizing profusely for waking him up. Blaine, his mentor, his best friend, his favorite person in the world, just shook his head and told him it was no problem before guiding Kurt into his cave-dark dorm room where he sat Kurt down and let him talk everything out before finally, finally, crossing the line and kissing him.
Kurt was only too willing to finally kiss back.
4. Gives You Hell
Kurt snickers when he sees the song on the Warblers' weekly set list. He tells Blaine that Rachel Berry once sang this song to Finn Hudson, and Blaine chuckles.
"It was the most vindictive I've ever seen Rachel get," Kurt tells him.
Blaine shrugs. "I think it's the most fun breakup song I've ever heard," he says. "Seriously, have you seen the video? Watch it with me."
So they do, and Kurt giggles through the entire thing.
"If we ever break up, seriously, sing that song to me," Blaine says.
Kurt frowns. "I'm kind of planning on that not happening," he explains.
"True. 'You'll never see what you've done to me', Kurt… Maybe we'll let one of the other guys take lead on this one, hmm?"
"So we can sway in the background staring into each other's eyes dreamily?"
"Of course."
5. What's My Age Again?
So maybe mentioning how Blaine looks like Harry Potter was not the best thing to say while drunk. In Kurt's defense, they were both very drunk. The fact remains that Kurt wakes up in Blaine's basement, surrounded by sheets and blankets that he vaguely remembers was supposed to be Hogwarts, and his wand is out.
And by that, he does not mean anything that can do magic, although whether Blaine's can is still up for debate.
And then Kurt finds his phone with a long list of drunk dials and winces. He has no idea what he's said, but it can't be good.
Facebook status: What did I tell you guys last night? The answers are nothing short of mortifying.
6. Famous Last Words
It's not Kurt's first choice of song, but the echoes of the lyrics in his ears won't fade from the times when Tina played it for him as Blaine lies in the hospital bed looking pale and dead.
Sometimes the past catches up with you, and the bright lights are indeed casting shadows, and without Blaine, Kurt feels incomplete.
He feels weak.
Blaine refuses to talk to anyone, even Kurt. Kurt just sits there silently, the only one to unconditionally forgive Blaine for not practicing what he preaches while both their eyes shine bright with tears. Blaine is awake, and for all intents and purposes alive, but something dead hides in his eyes like black scarab beetles eating the flesh from white, porcelain bones.
Kurt isn't sure what word Blaine needs to hear, but he knows it's not courage. Courage only gets you so far.
It got Blaine into a bathtub with a box cutter when he tried to face his old tormentors.
"Sleep," Kurt whispers, a few tears rolling down his cheek, smoothing Blaine's hair back. The older boy just stares at the ceiling before asking:
"Can you ever forgive me? For being weak? For being afraid? For wanting to go home?"
"I never blamed you."
7. Be My Escape
Kurt wants to just stay with Blaine forever, and Blaine has often echoed that sentiment. When they're with each other, they forget their own weaknesses. Kurt had been turning gray, fading into the background – now, despite the fact that both boys wore uniforms, they stood out like spotlights in a dark auditorium.
When Kurt ran away, he thought of it as more of a running towards. Maybe some day they would both go back and fight the fears they both housed, but for now, this little break was enough.
Or maybe they'd keep running, get out of this crap state forever, and move some place that no matter what they did, people wouldn't judge them. A big city somewhere: Philly, NYC, San Francisco…
They unlocked dreams in each other they didn't know they had, and they couldn't wait to get out of Ohio, this place that would be a mistake if only it hadn't brought them together.
Sometimes they wonder where they've been for the entirety of each other's lives.
8. Where is Your Boy Tonight?
When Blaine leaves Ohio with Kurt in tow, he knows he's never going back (unless Kurt asks him to. Yes, he's whipped). Kurt was the only thing keeping him here. Sometimes he still can't believe he put his college career on hold for a year just so he could start college with Kurt.
But Kurt was just that special, just that beautiful of a person that Blaine wanted to share everything with him.
Even if they weren't together right now (right now, Blaine insisted adamantly every time. They'd get back together soon. And what does that idiot have that I don't?)
Kurt, for his part, knew deep down that no one would ever love him like Blaine did. Every relationship he tried to have ended in an explosion that would have rocked the earth to its core.
Usually because he gave in to temptation and had "one last one night stand" with Blaine.
There had been a lot of those, when there really should have only been one…
Maybe it was because there should have never been a last time for them, at least until they were old and grey and dying.
9. Hips Don't Lie
Kurt had indulged in reggaeton with Santana one too many times, and between her and Mercedes, and Brittany and Tina's Single Ladies dance number with him, Kurt had become quite the dancer. Blaine couldn't keep his eyes off his boyfriend.
It didn't help that Kurt kept growling lyrics in Spanish, which he'd picked up in addition to French the past year.
They hadn't gone very far in bed, but Blaine suspected that if Kurt could move his hips like that in a horizontal position, he wouldn't mind waiting just to get a piece of that, or to have Kurt get a piece of him. Either way was cool as long as Kurt could do that again. Lying down. Naked.
Oh, that was an awesome thought, and Blaine really hoped that the look Kurt was shooting him wasn't another elaborate fantasy his sex-starved brain was making up.
For the record, it wasn't.
10. Perfect Situation
Blaine thought he'd be a lot of firsts for Kurt – his first kiss, his first boyfriend, his first time… Blaine had always had an idealized version of love. It was ruined when he waited too long, trying to be too perfect, ignoring all the little signs that Kurt would give him. Kurt had finally given up on him, wandered off at a party, a cup of punch in one hand and another boy's hand in another.
Blaine almost felt douchey, comforting Kurt when he came knocking a few nights later, claiming yet another night of flagrant drunkenness, this time accompanied by some painful, fumbling sex that felt like something inside him had been killed.
Blaine had always had a hero complex, and he couldn't deny that it was fantastic to finally give Kurt the kind of kiss he deserved. The next few days were spent glaring at anyone who even thought about looking at Kurt as though he were a piece of meat.
Blaine did kind of want to devour him, but he also knew that Kurt was something special, and even if he couldn't be the first, he could be the best, and he could also be the last.
There were still several things in which he planned to be the only, if he could.