Peanut Butter
previously posted on by pen name "emilyskrl" WHO IS ME!
So if you recognize this, that's why. (Read my profile for more info)
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters and I don't make any money off this.
Warning: One sided Genesis/Angeal drabble-ish. Implied Angeal/Zack That means Yaoi. Don't like? Don't read. No flames, thanks. Just helpful comments.
Genesis bleakly brought the spoon to his delicate, rosy pink lips. Peanut butter had always been his comfort food, but at the moment he couldn't even taste it. His entire body felt numb, but that's what is expected when your heart is brutally broken.
Had anyone seen the man in his current state, he would have been the laughing stock in all of Midgar. After all, SOLDIERs weren't supposed to cry. Yet, there he was crying until he could cry no more. One look at him, and you'd have thought he just watched his entire family die right before his eyes.
His eyes, a beautiful azure, were puffy and surrounded by red. Tears flowed from them with ease leaving wet pathways down his flawless, porcelain skin. His feminine face had been left considerably unsaturated.His light pink lips contrasted greatly against his now milky white skin as they wrapped around the spoon and devoured the peanut butter sticking to it. He had hoped the peanut butter would help him forget about his excruciating heartbreak, but that was not the case.
Earlier that day, Genesis had gone to see Angeal. He had something very special to tell his best friend, but he was nervous. So nervous, in fact, that he pushed it off for hours until he finally got the courage to just say it. Maybe, just maybe, if he hadn't waited so long, things wouldn't have turned out the way they did.
Genesis was going to tell Angeal that he was in love with him. He wasn't expecting Angeal to feel the same, but deep down he had some hope. However, that hope was quickly extinguished when Angeal came to talk to him.
"Genesis, you wanted to talk to me?" Angeal said, his face held an expression with a mixture of confusion and concern. After all, Genesis very rarely requested the two "talk" alone. And not to mention the man was pacing. Something he only did when he was incredibly nervous.
"Yeah. Angeal, I..." he trailed off an looked down. That morning, he had planned out everything he was going to say, but he it was a lot easier said than done. Angeal simply looked at him with raised eyebrows, egging him to continue. "You know what, just, never mind. This was a stupid idea." Genesis said, letting his nervousness get the best of him.
"Genesis, talk to me. What's going on." Angeal said, brows knitting in confusion. Genesis always spoke his mind, this was a side of him that Angeal rarely ever saw.
"'Geal, I-" he began, this time he was cut off though. By an overly energetic 'puppy,' and Angeal's student, Zack.
"Hey, Angeal!" The vibrant youth nearly yelled. "I've been looking for you everywhere!" The dark haired boy ran to Angeal and enveloped him in a loving hug, which the older man graciously returned.
"Zack, what are you still doing here? Go home, I'll see you when I'm done here." Angeal said. The boy nodded quickly and leaned forward to kiss his mentor goodbye. When the larger man returned the gesture, Genesis could have sworn he felt his heart stop.
Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes and the redheaded SOLDIER had to fight his body to keep them from falling as he watched the young boy enthusiastically walk away. So this is what heart break feels like.
"Genesis, what's wrong?" Angeal asked, genuinely concerned for his best friend upon seeing him near crying. He gingerly placed a strong hand on the smaller man's shoulder, which was violently jerked away. "Genesis, what's going on?" Angeal pressed. Genesis would never deny comfort from Angeal.
Angeal's confusion only grew as Genesis turned and swiftly began to walk away, only to be stopped by large hands spinning him around.
"Genesis, just tell me what's going on." Angeal ordered. More tears filled the other man's eyes and he shook his head.
"No, 'Geal, just forget about it." Genesis said, looking down.
"Gen, you asked me to meet you here so you could talk to me and now you won't even look at me? Just tell me what's bothering you." Angeal said softly, trying to coax information out of his friend. Genesis looked into Angeal's eyes for a short moment and a single tear rolled down from his own eye.
"There's nothing you can do, Angeal. Just forget I ever said anything, okay?" Genesis said. He walked away before Angeal could even answer.
When Genesis got home, he fell to the floor and broke into the tears that he had been so desperately trying to repress. He had a feeling that he would get hurt, but he had no idea he would feel this . . .dead.
He went for the same thing he always did when he was upset, the creamy peanut butter. He sat on the floor in front of the refrigerator, not bothering to sit somewhere comfortable, and unscrewed the jar. In just a matter of minutes, he had managed to devour almost half of the jars contents.
His hand was violently shaking from his heavy sobs, making it very difficult to eat the creamy snack. Tears viciously cascaded down his face, some falling in his lap, some mixing with the peanut butter in the jar. But it didn't matter. His mind wasn't on the peanut butter, he couldn't even taste it.
Many times had Genesis been hurt, but never like this. All the other times, Angeal would be there with him, he had never been the cause of the pain. Genesis didn't know what to do. He had no one. So he just sat there for hours, eating his peanut butter.
He had long since finished all the peanut butter in the jar, but he never tasted a thing. All his mind could focus on was a tall, strong, raven haired man. Angeal. And that man would never be his.
"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love."
Charles M. Schultz