It was her handmaiden that woke her in the early in the morning. Sansa tried to open her eyes, while cursing the day and her handmaiden.
Alyssa apologied. 'Forgive me, my lady. King Joffrey has summoned you for Court early this morning.'
'If joffrey was any more inbred he'd be a sandwich,' Sansa muttered to herself as she swung her legs out of bed. Alyssa gasped. 'My lady!' she stared at her in utter disbelief. Sansa rolled her eyes at her. 'It's gonna be a shit day, but it's gonna be fine. There is one thing I once learned from a great knight. Many knew of him." Sansa said as got undressed. "It always helped me when I had to look at ugly faces right when I awoke on the morrow."
"What was his name, my lady?" Alyssa asked, seemingly interested in Sansa's tale. "And what did he teach you?"
"His name was ser Logan of house Paul. He taught me that..."
She paused, raising one hand in the air diagonally,
"He taught me that u should dab on da haters boiiiii!" She declared, alligning her arm in a sharp angle as she hid her face in the crook of her arm in one swift motion.
Sansa laughed, her nose wrinkling and her eyes squinting as she made gurgling noises as she lost her breath. "hahahahah Ch Ch Ch Ch Ch"
She wanted to say more, but couldn't even finish the thought before breaking into another fit of laughter. "It all sounds so funny when I write it down in my head, ye know." Her handmaiden took a step backwards. "Do you need writing material, my lady? For a letter? I could send for a page!" Alyssa reached for the doorknob and tried to leave the room, but Sansa called her to a stop. "ay boi no m8 it's gud just gimme a dress k its cold as fucken balls in here." Sansa rubbed her arms to give it more emphasis.
Alyssa, visibly astonished hearing lady Sansa speak in both syllables and numerics, was at a loss for words. She remained silent and headed to her cabinet, picking out her attire for today. In the mean time, Sansa rubbed her teats uncomfortably while looking at herself in the mirror. "ma fucken nips are hard as diamonds in this bloody cold m80 so hand over dA f00k€N dr€$$ N1GG/\!" She called out, purposefully speaking in strange numerics to scare her handmaiden more. The blonde-haired girl almost tripped over her own feet as she brought the dress to her. It was a red and gold one, with a deep neckline and two golden lions grabbing the attention to her chest.
One of the many jokes of Cersei, to humiliate her in front of the entire court.
"that piece of shet," muttered Sansa under her breath. She grabbed the dress from her hands and held it in front of her, letting out some wind. The wet sound echoed through the room and it made her bottom jiggle a little.
"fuk me that was loud," she commented, looking at the bodice with a wary look on her face. "dis dress ugly as shit boi 10/10 would not wear." Alyssa barely caught the dress Sansa threw in her direction. as she looked at her with pleading eyes. "My lady, the queen would flog me. It is a gift from her. I beg you, please try it on!" She stroked the glimmering fabric of the dress.
"You would look lovely in it, mylady," she added, smiling nervously.
Sansa looked at her, then the dress, as she straightened her mouth in a thin line, her blue eyes half lidded with feigned boredom. She took one step closer to her handmaiden, grabbing her face in her hands. "does it look like i give 2 shits m8? She can sukk ma salty nutz, how bout that!" Sansa laughed at the shocked face of the mousy girl, as she herself stepped to the closet and flipped through the dresses, silently complaining. "dis hairy cunt wakin me up hella early givin me ho-ass clothes." Her eyebrows knitting together in thought. "Whose balls do I have to use as a powderbrush to get sum fucken sweatpants sent in here?"
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Thanks for reading. Send it to your friends. I'm also writing a dank-free ASOIAF-fanfic, if you're interested.
Would very much like reviews.