A/N So, pretty obvious what prompted this. This is my fix-it to 11x02. Don't wanna get into my opinions on that because I think everyone is thinking along the same lines. Enjoy. I hope this helps mend some of your broken hearts if you are as distraught as I am over Ziva's absence.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Future

Tony stood in the vacant elevator, gentle 'whirr' noise surrounding him in the silence as it rose. His duffel bag was still clutched in his tightened fist, his whole forearm shaking as he clenched harder and harder. Though no one was there to see his expression his face still tilted down to face the floor, neck protesting but the pain giving him something else other than the gut-wrenching pain in his chest to concentrate on.

He momentarily clenched his eyes shut tight, spots forming into her face on the blank canvas his closed eyelids provided. It had already been too long since he had seen that face and he felt like crumbling to the floor when he realised it had only been a day, and there would be thousands more to follow that would be just the same. It felt like she had died.

Sobs stuck in his nose and throat, blocking his air and making him gasp suddenly for breath and composure. It felt as if he had been in the small metal box, all too similar to another that held oh-so-many memories, for an eternity when finally a small light flashed and the door slid open.

Usually when he made the walk to his apartment there was noise filtering into the hallway from behind the other doors but now, all was deathly silent, as if the building and all its occupants were paying respects and homage to his grief.

Although, it could have also been that his mind was too distracted to hear any of it as his eyes blurred and he realised not even the sound of his own footfalls were registering.

He reached his door and stopped. His muscles ached and it felt as though his heart continued to pump blood through his veins through sheer stubbornness alone. Ever since he had gotten off that plane and it had hit him he was back in America, after months, and she was half a world away everything had become harder. Breathing was harder. Speaking near impossible. Thinking caused the beginning of a massive headache to rise and every painful thrum his body exuded sung her name out into the universe.

Ziva. It was like he was trying to call to her, asking her still to come to him, come with him; to not leave him. But it was just as useless now as it had been then.

His mind snapped back to the present and he realised he was still standing in front of his door, bag having fallen to the ground without his notice, hand lax. His bent and picked it up again, this time with far less purpose in his grip and dug into his pockets with the other, pulling out his key and inserting it into the door.

He sighed a final time, air rattling as it entered his lungs and pushed the door open with some effort.

He trudged inside, eyes barely open and still directed at the floor, shoulders slumping more by the minute. He stood a metre inside the door as it slammed behind him, dropped the bag once again and breathed out, losing his will to keep fighting as tears made slow dirty tracks down both his cheeks. He didn't move to wipe them away or sit down. He stood and he wept quietly, the apartment seeming emptier than it ever had before.

He ignored it when a shuffle sounded from further within the apartment, thinking it was his destroyed psyche playing tricks on him. He ignored the faint gasp and call of his name, almost clamping his hands over his ears, thinking he was imagining what he most wanted to hear; her voice.

"Tony."

He ignored it when she called again, closer this time, fearing that if he looked up there would be nothing but empty air.

But then came a warm hand on his cheek, a soft thumb banishing his tears and, as he raised his head half way, a set of lips that whispered his name once more desperately, bringing him back from the edge of insanity.

His eyes rose the rest of the way and settled on her, returning her gaze. His expression morphed into shock and confusion. There was question in his eyes. Her mouth opened once more to speak an explanation but the slight movement drew his eyes back to her lips and he snapped out of his mangled state, realising that his beautiful ninja was brilliantly, impossibly, inexplicably in front of him and that thought was all it took for him to cover the hand still on his cheek with his own, the other reaching for her waist and almost violently pulling her to him, open mouth falling on her own and cutting off any words that had been bubbling to the surface.

Their lips locked and their tongues tangled and he finally felt like he could breathe again. He lowered his hand from hers and let it join the other, clutching at her waist and pulling her in even tighter, not a hairs breadth of space between them. His left arm encircled her waist completely while his right rose behind her; forearm lining up with her spine and hand pushing near the back of her neck to pull her closer and closer.

He changed the angle of their kiss and deepened it yet again, feeling her body shiver in his arms and her mouth gasp in a simultaneous sob and moan as his tongue slid across hers, reaffirming she was there with the familiarity as he mimicked their last kiss as closely as possible. But it wasn't enough.

He spun her around and stepped backwards, his motions still desperate and abrasive as her back slammed into the closed door. But she didn't complain; only pushed closer, squeezing her eyes at the feeling of wetness that suddenly flooded them.

He felt her tears and pulled away from a fraction of a second so they could catch their breaths, both panting for oxygen. It took only seconds before a strangled whine made its way from deep inside her and her hand curled tighter around its spot on his neck and pulled him forward again, demanding the connection, the passion.

This time he didn't want the familiar. He had this chance and he needed to know. Needed to experience and make memories while he could. His arm rose from her waist and tangled deeply into her loose hair, pulling at the strands and receiving another delicious full body shiver that made him step forward and nudge her legs apart with his knee, thigh coming to press between hers as he bit her bottom lip and encouraged the sting by sucking the lip into his hungry mouth. He felt her knees weaken and her body lower and grind against his leg, her fingers now pulling at his hair while another hand ran up and down his chest, unable to choose a place to settle, wanting to quest and touch all of him that she could.

In her mind she knew this must stop but she had no strength left to push him away. They had been pushed too far, too close to breaking point and this time they would never be letting go.

She jumped and wasn't surprised when he caught her, hands running over the back of her thighs as her legs wrapped around his waist, finding perfect and immediate friction there. His mouth finally left hers, ripping away but not leaving her skin, travelling down at a fevered pace, licking and sucking and kissing every patch of skin that he came across on his path down her neck and the top of her chest, biting down hard on her collarbone and feeling satisfied when she let out a loud cry and ground against him, sweat piling between them and making the room seem hotter and the urge to remove clothes almost impossible to refuse.

He licked his way back up to her lips, stared into her eyes for a moment, meeting them for only the second time. They were so close their noses were touching, chests heaved against each other; but their eyes held for a millennium. Their breathing was still heavy but the mood shifted from fierce and desperate to a much quieter, but no less intense, feeling. His gaze turned soft and solemn but unbelievably happy all at once and when he saw the need and want and desire and affection reflected right back at him through her eyes he leaned in one more time, their lips meeting softer than they ever had before. There was no tongue, only lips and shared breaths as he let her legs fall back to the ground and allowed her to step away from the wall. They separated slowly, unwillingly; like it took momentous effort to disengage. Like they needed each other's mouths and breaths to breathe themselves.

He drew her against him in a tight hug, forcing her onto her toes so she could wrap her arms around his shoulders in a vice, fingers digging into his back as his softened over her sides and around to totally encompass her.

There was stillness and silence, a background buzzing of leftover urgency left in the air when he finally drew in a breath and managed to utter his first word to her.

"How?"

She didn't pull away to answer, knowing he would be listening closely. "I called Gibbs. When I said I couldn't contact him I meant differently than what you thought Tony." She half smiled and chuckled into his shoulder and pulled away enough to look into his eyes. "I cracked the moment he picked up the phone."

She stood with the phone to her ear, pacing back and forth, going faster the longer the other end continued to ring. She knew this was a bad idea, knew that her resolve was already crumbling.

As soon as Tony had boarded the plane and left her sight she began to doubt her decision. While painful the smile she had sent him as he waved for the final time had been completely genuine, when she could no longer see him she felt as though that smile would never return. As if it was his and his alone.

She began walking away, trying to tell herself it was the right decision, but more and more the evidence proved that perhaps she was mistaken.

He had boarded only ten minutes ago and she had yet to leave the tiny airport, not wanting to go back to her childhood home as now it was tainted to perfection with memories of the man she had just let walk out of her life. A few tears escaped her restraint and her lips trembled viciously as she tried to decide what to do.

Come home with me. The way he had spoken those words she knew what he had really been asking and the longer she stood there the more her reasons for staying escaped her grasp and understanding.

What she had told him had been the truth but he hadn't understood her true reasoning. When she had said she couldn't call Gibbs it wasn't that he was the one that would make it difficult for her to leave; it was that he was the one who even during the worst of times could forcible pull the truth from her and she absolutely knew if she heard his voice her resolve would crumble and she would tell him everything. Gibbs, being Gibbs, would want Tony's happiness, as well as hers, and though he went on about his "rules" she knew they would have little bearing over his response in this case. He knew the rarity of a soul mate and real love, he knew it's fragility and the scars it left behind once lost. And he would do anything to prevent his family, his children, from feeling those wounds the way he had.

And so the moment she dialled his number, she knew her mind had already conceded that her decision had been made through faulty logic and intense emotion. What her once-friend had said to her shook her to the bone and sent her back to a place she hadn't been in for years; since Tony had gone on a suicide mission to avenge her "death" and actually ended up rescuing her from, not only the terrorist, but herself as well.

And once again her thoughts had come full circle to Tony. His name triggered something within her and tears began to pour down her face in a way that hadn't happened apart from when she had watched Tali and her father die. Her breath came in gasps and panic rose at the thought of having lost her last chance just as the ringing stopped and a familiar, resigned voice sounded from the other end.

"Ziver." It wasn't a question, he knew it was her and it was clear by his tone he also knew why she called. But in the past 30 seconds, her reasoning had turned completely and in that moment she wanted nothing more than to be back in DC, in the bullpen, with her team.

She knew now that the emotional fallout from losing Tony forever was far worse than that of living with those lives she had damaged by taking the lives of others.

"Gibbs."

Her voice was a gasping, sobbing mess unlike anything the team, even Tony, had ever heard from her and made Gibbs sit straighter in his chair, alert and suddenly protective.

"Ziver, what is it? Is Tony with you?"

She only sobbed louder at this.

"Gibbs, I've made a terrible mistake. I didn't realise- I thought we would be okay and I cannot Gibbs, I can-"

"Wow, come on Ziva, take a breath and slow down." Gibbs heart pounded as he tried to make sense of her words, wishing he had her here in front of him so he could read her better, comfort her better. "What can't you do Ziva?"

She took a breath as instructed and felt a lump form, stopping any more tears but making her voice crack as she spoke again. "I cannot live without him Gibbs. Years ago he told me Gibbs, but I did not understand. I do now."

It all became stunningly clear in that moment for the senior agent. When last he had talked to Tony it was obvious he had been keeping something from him. Tony had found Ziva, and if her out of control emotions were anything to go by something went down between the two former partners. He had fully been expecting a call to notify him that she would not be returning and he had been prepared for it, utterly heartbroken by it, but prepared. This, this was hope and devastation at the same time.

"Ziver, where is Tony now?"

He heard her sniff and compose herself just slightly before answering. "On a plane, heading back to DC fifteen minutes ago Gibbs… I am such an idiot." Her voice took on a tone of pleading now. "Please Gibbs. Please tell me you can get me out of here."

Gibbs closed his eyes and rubbed his temple, fighting strongly between a sigh of disapproval and a soft smile overcoming his face. "Are you sure Ziver? Because if you come here only to change your mind Ton-"

"I'm sure Gibbs. Please… help me."

"How quickly can you be ready?"

"Immediately."

"See you in 10 hours."

Tony stared down at her in wonder, faint tear tracks still staining his cheeks. She had gone through all that and Gibbs had gotten her a whole air freight just to get her here before him. There was nothing standing in their way at long last. She could choose whether or not to return to NCIS. If she did Gibbs had well and truly given his approval and here she stood; face and emotions completely open to him. She had no apartment since she had sold just before her return to Tel Aviv, nowhere to go apart from right there with him.

Hope, giddiness and exhilaration flowed within him, reservedly beginning to shine through his eyes. She saw the hint and let a smile grow on her face, eyes glistening as they had on the tarmac but this time so void of fear and pain they were a million times more beautiful.

"And you're sure Ziva? You have to be sure? ... I can't lose you again." He stated it simply and honestly. If she said yes in this moment it was yes to DC, yes to him; staying with him, probably in this apartment and they both knew this wasn't a normal start to a relationship. Once this started, neither would let it end. This was an always and forever sort of deal.

She ran both her hands up and rested them on his chest, staring deep into his eyes and not allowing him to look away. One hand continued up to cup his cheek in a way that was quickly becoming a rather fond habit. She smiled gently again and stroked his jaw.

"I am sure, ahava sheyli."

He recognised those words as he had become quite proficient in Hebrew through his months of searching for her, not to mention all the phrases he had memorised the past 3 years, just waiting for the opportune moment to use them.

He leant down and kissed her so reverently she felt as though she had never meant more to anyone. It was further shock to her system realising that was probably a fact.

He pulled away with a final peck and leant their foreheads together, eyes closed and breathing each other in.

"I love you so much Ziva."

Her private smile she only smiled for him reappeared once more and she knew without opening her eyes his expression was the same and couldn't help but think that she could not wait to be this happy for the rest of her life. She connected their lips for a mere second once again and went back to resting together, peaceful and needing nothing else.

"I know."

A/N Thoughts? Let me know. This was very cathartic to write. "ahava sheyli" is "my love" in Hebrew and I'm not sure if I got the time right for travel from Israel to the US so sorry about that if it's wrong. Hope you enjoyed.

Please review,

Metal.