Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (anime-verse)
WordCount: 747
Characters/Pairings: Edward, vague references to various others
Timeline/Spoilers: post-CoS; vague spoilers for entire series
Summary: "We're always given one world, and it's always made for us to find happiness there."
Notes: Happy FMA Day is what I say, but we all know I can't write something non-angst — especially when Edward Elric is concerned. ;P Anyway, it's my second year celebrating, and this here be my first anime-verse fic. Unlike most my other stories, this was written on the spot, as I just had to fulfill my part for FMA Day. Please excuse any mistakes, as this just hasn't been my week. I'll probably end up posting this after seventy two and a half proofreads and then notice an error. It's happened before... Every time actually. -.-
Disclaimer: Arakawa-sensei owns all. The quote is by Ryuugu Rena from the fourth episode, I believe, of Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Rei, third in the Higurashi anime. (You should watch~ :o)
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They say that we're always given one world and that it's always made for us to find happiness there.
As with all rules, there is an exception. I thought I was the one in this case. The piece of the puzzle that didn't fit. The loophole in the fine print. The child that was late to the table and didn't get his slice of pie. The runt of the litter. The unlucky guy that was laid off to cut company expenses. The-
Well, I think you catch my drift.
And so I cursed the world for my misfortunes. I cursed Truth, I cursed the god I didn't believe in, I cursed the military, I cursed the Homunculi, I cursed the joy reverberating off others around me, I cursed it all.
Why was I the one left out? Was I simply forgotten? What made me so undeserving of what the rest of the population was given freely? What gave them the right to take it all away from me?
It wasn't until just a couple of years ago that the answers to my questions became known to me. As much as I hate to admit it... I was wrong.
I was never excluded. I wasn't left out of the loop. I wasn't counted out. I was no more unworthy than the rest of the sinners put on this earth. No one wrenched my happiness from me. I... I took it from myself.
The world I was given wasn't perfect. It had its flaws, its foibles, but there was nothing so horribly wrong with it. There, I had a family that loved me, friends that supported me, and a house awaiting my return. For all my so-called genius, you think I would've realized that.
But no. I always sought something better, something more than I possessed. I tampered with the natural flow of things, and for that misstep I was punished.
My family, my friends, and my home had changed, but never were they stolen, simply placed farther down the road. And I... I was too stubborn, or too foolish, or both, to try to get them back within my grasp. Nevertheless, they were always, always there.
x
As I mentioned, it wasn't until some two years ago that this realization hit me. After I'd left that world of mine.
After I'd made my way here. To this world not my own. I'd lost any rights to my happiness from that point on. I knew that now.
And so I did what I could here. I lived my day to day life, in this place so different from whence I came. I didn't try to forget, for that would dishonour and discredit all those who'd helped me along my way. All those I'd left behind. I held their memories with me always.
I was so sure I would live out the remainder of my days lonely and alone in this foreign land. That was my penance, right?
Once again, the universe decided to prove me wrong.
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I was returned to my homeland for a time. Familiar faces greeted me. Those faces greeted me with hugs and smiles and laughter and tears. No sense of betrayal was etched upon their features; there was simply happiness.
And I tucked away each fleeting moment of it.
x
As you've probably realized, I speak to you not from my native country, but from the 'other' terrain. Why? you must be asking yourself.
I'll give you this: To remain in my world would be beyond selfish of me; it would spell ruin for many others. I told you before that I knew I had relinquished my rights to 'heaven' the instant I first set foot here. I'd spent my years scouring the ends of the earth for something I'd had all along but was far too blind to notice. My happiness was all dried up. It had evaporated in my absence from home on my journeys. I had my fair share, I just didn't put it to good use. (Equivalent Exchange, right?) ...Doesn't mean some other dumb kid won't. I'm going to make sure that kid has a chance to make that choice on his own.
So here is where I will linger. I'm not terribly upset, though neither am I happy.
But in that short while I returned... I think I might've been. Maybe some higher being took pity upon a stupid little human boy. Or maybe I'm just fooling myself.
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owaranai
A/N: I tried a different angle when writing Ed this time. Hope it went over well. Commentary of any sort is very much appreciated. Thanks for reading.
-Sora(: