I'm in love with her

I don't know how it happened. I don't know when I started feeling this way. All I know is I can't stop thinking about her.

I can't stop thinking about her beautiful eyes; her radiant smile; everything about her is just amazing. I feel like every time I look at her, I feel warm inside.

Ironically, I never noticed just how amazing she was until recently. Up until then, I've always just brushed her off as another classmate. I would see her on the same bus to and from school, walking down the same hallway, sitting at the same spot at lunch every day, and she's even in the same classes as I am.

I talked this out with my parents, and, as expected, I got some mixed reactions. My dad was naturally happy and supportive of me, while my mom questioned whether or not I was actually in love with her. In fact, she had the nerve to say that I was merely just "in love with the idea of love."

I know she means well, though; but I just have a feeling that she's wrong. I've only ever felt this way about one other girl in my entire life. True, I still have some feelings for her, and I even believe that she may like me back too; but I've tried for so long to get this girl to be interested in me that it almost seems like she's just "throwing me a bone". I feel like every time I try to do something to impress her, it always ends up going horribly wrong, and I can't help but feel like she just thinks of me as a desperate loser.

But now that I've met this new girl, I feel like things might start to be different. We haven't really spoken to each other that often, but I really want to try my best to get to know her. Maybe now, since I've had so much experience with talking to girls, I might be able to actually impress one for once.

But what if she doesn't like me? What if she ends up acting the same as the other girl and only pities me? What if she hates my guts and would scream in my face if I tried to ask her out? What if, if I DO ask her out, she says "No" and never wants to speak to me again?

I can't worry about all of that now, though. I can't just sit here and act pessimistic and self-pitting. After all, I'll never know how she'll feel until I find out for myself.

I know it may sound strange, but I feel like I can actually see a future with this girl. I can just picture it now: we're happily married; me, a successful sports star/super model/Hollywood actor, and her; a beautiful and angelic woman with a clever mind, bearing three children, and living her days devoted to her wonderful husband. But, then again, I might be getting ahead of myself.

I think I should just play this out day by day and see what happens; but, I'll admit, I am extremely nervous about approaching her and talking with her. What will I say? How will I act around her? More importantly, what am I going to wear?

I guess I'll decide all of that for tomorrow. For now, I should just try to relax, and prepare myself mentally. I want this first talk with her to go perfectly; but I guess I just have to be patient and see what happens.

I can't wait to talk to you, Carrie. I hope that if this goes well, you and I can be happy together.