A/N-Okay, so I've been thinking about this fic for months now, because I love this song, and I love the Pink Spiders, and after seeing them in concert the other night I finally got enough motivation to write it. Granted, they didn't play this song, but still. Um, I think I'm going to save most of what I want to say til the end, so that you can form your own opinions then hear what I have to say.

Disclaimer-I don't own Life with Derek, or the song "Hey Jane" by the Pink Spiders. Though I wouldn't mind owning the Pink Spiders themselves. Especially Matt Friction.

"Next," she called in a bored voice. A little kid, about 8 or 9, shoved a fistful of sticky tickets in her direction. She took them and put them in the counter. "Alright, you've got 25 tickets here, that means that you can get anything on this row here." The kid pointed a chubby finger at a bag of candy. "Here you go," she said, setting it on the counter. "Next."

Kevin, the other guy who was stuck in the hell that was Noah's Arcade on a Saturday, said, "Actually, you could probably take your break now if you want."

She nodded and took her vest off. She set it on the counter and felt in her pockets. Satisfied that she had enough, she walked over to the pinball machine.

The polyester vest she wears at the arcade
On her break from tearing tickets
Every minute spent on this old pinball machine
Saving up her money to pay her tuition
"Got a little left over" she thinks
So she puts it in the machine
Cause she's got a high score to beat

She was a little upset that her life had turned out like this. Granted, she was back on the straight and narrow now, working at the arcade to pay for her tuition since her parents flat out refused to talk to her. There was a little while there that she had fallen off track though. And who could blame her? It had all just gotten way too much to live up to. All of her siblings were way better at everything than she was, and she couldn't possibly compare.

Derek was the charmer. He had finally gotten his act together and talked his way into film school. He seemed to be honestly happy though, and that was what really mattered.

Edwin was working the comedy club circuit, and slowly making his way up out of the crappy ones and into ones that would pay him more than just free drinks. There was even a rumor that he would have a special on TV soon.

Lizzie was coaching soccer now during the summer at a camp in Mexico, and going to school to become a teacher during the fall. She was great at what she was doing and all the kids loved her.

Casey was in med school, studying to be a pediatrician. She was also active in local theatre, going to rehearsals at night and performing on the weekends.

And, of course, everyone else was paired off. Casey and Derek were so in love it was disgusting, and Edwin and Lizzie were even worse. At least Casey and Derek still fought sometimes so there was a break in the mush-fest. She just felt so left out. She was the baby, and, no matter how old she was, everyone still treated her that way.

Until about a year ago, anyways. She had met Erik, whom her parents hadn't liked from the beginning, but she went out with anyways. He was a bad decision, and she realized that now, but at the time he seemed great. He didn't treat her like a little kid, or like the odd one out. It was nice to have someone with her at family gatherings instead of being the third wheel. Or, more accurately, the seventh wheel.

At the time, she had been working as a fashion consultant at Neiman-Marcus. Basically all she had to do was tell people what they should wear, and she was good at that. They were paying her very well, and since she had gotten a lot of scholarships and her dad and Nora were making up the difference, all of the money was hers to spend as she pleased. Unfortunately, Erik was into some pretty heavy things, and before long so was she. She got fired when she came to work high and they found her stash on her.

At the time, she didn't care too much, because she had plenty saved up, and the job was getting in the way of her good time. Without the job, though, she lost whatever structure and motivation she had. She quit going to class, and soon flunked out of college.

When her dad and Nora had found out, they quickly staged an intervention. She had cleaned up, against her will, and, as soon as they thought she was okay, she went back to Erik. She knew it was dumb, but she still liked the way he made her feel. She could feel that it wasn't the right thing to do, but she didn't care. When her parents found out, they quit talking to her, saying that she could rejoin the family when she came back to her senses.

Now, this was the only job she could keep down. She went to class again, but didn't have any desire to learn. She felt like her life was already going downhill and that there was nothing she could do to stop it. She knew that she needed to stop with the drugs, stop being with Erik, but she didn't want to. She knew that she'd be dead in a few years, and that before too long, the portion of her paycheck that went to tuition would get smaller and smaller so that they would have more money to pay for the drugs.

She had a good job that she traded for cocaine
Everyday became the same
And yesterdays were celebrated but forgotten so fast
Cause everyone around her surrounds her in excess
She's trying harder to convince herself
That all her better days are not in the past
And that this paycheck's gonna last

She stepped out into the crisp air, taking a deep breath. She lit a cigarette and began the long walk home. Erik had the car, he was visiting some friends in Toronto for the weekend. She saw a car pull into the empty parking lot and roll down the window. Curious, she took her knife out of her pocket and walked over to the car. That better not be Jimmy. He said we'd be fine to pay next week after I get paid.

"Hey Smarti," the voice said.

She sighed in relief and put the knife away. "Hey Smerek," she replied, too tired to protest the nick names she had stopped using years ago. "What are you doing here? Dad and Nora will kick you out of the family too if they catch you here."

He frowned and shook his head. "I don't care."

She walked over to the passenger side and climbed in. "Maybe you should care. It kinda sucks."

He shrugged. "Listen, I've got a little extra money this weekend, and I was thinking, what better way to blow it than hanging out with my little sister? Let's just get away for a night."

"Where?"

"Who cares? Let's just start driving. We'll drive until the sun comes up tomorrow. Put a mile between this place and us for every single thing that's bothering you."

"Nothing's bothering me."

He looked at her skeptically.

"Okay, maybe something's are bugging me. But it's not your responsibility."

"Au contraire. As the big brother, it's completely my responsibility. Now buckle up."

She giggled and rolled her eyes, then put on her seat belt. Derek put the car and reverse and pulled out of the parking lot.

"So, where are we really going?"

"I have no idea. You hungry?"

"Yeah, starved."

"Okay, restaurant first."

"Hey Smerek?"

"Yeah, Smarti?"

"Thank you."

He looked over at her and smiled. "You're welcome."

She turned and looked out the window.

"Hey," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Thing's will change, I promise."

She smiled weakly. "How do you know?"

"Because you're Smarti. You can do whatever you want. Just, you know, do what makes you happy. Don't worry about money or anything like that. Don't let your life's income determine your life's outcome."

"When did you get so smart?"

"Dunno. Probably caught it from Casey." He leaned over and ruffled her hair. "Okay, now, one night away from all your problems, coming up."

A/N-Okay, I know some of you are thinking, "What the hell?" but I'm the author, and this was what I wanted to write. I did originally want to do it as a Dasey, because the chorus, which is acutually just written in as Derek's words, is so sweet, but there was no way that I could think of to work the cocaine into the story line, because that's not something I could ever see Casey doing. Marti, on the other hand, is an open book. There's really no way to tell what she'd be like as an adult. So, yeah, I'm sorry if you hate me for making Marti all screwed up, because she really is a sweetie and I love her to death, but it needed to be done. Go ahead and throw things at me if you want. But after that, you should go check out the Pink Spiders, because they are rock gods.