A/N: So for whatever reason, I seem to be on an AP kick of late. For some, that's good news, for others, well, who cares about them, right? They're not reading this anyway. But this is an idea that kind of came to me out of the blue. A way to turn the AP world on its ear, as it were. A way to change things up. And a way to make a lot of jokes, which in the end, is all I really care about. Hopefully you'll find some joy in this fic. Hopefully you'll find it funny. Big ups to MXPW for kind of listening to me ramble on about this story before I wrote it, and kind of pointing me in the right direction. Or at least I hope it's the right direction. I suppose that's really up to you, the reader, to let me know. So let me know, yeah? And thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I receive no financial, um, stuff, from writing this. I do it fo' free. Chuck belongs to someone else. So does Sarah, to my dismay.

Chapter 1: A Rude Awakening

Echo Park, California
February 20, 2011
07:14 PST

Sarah walked out of her and Chuck's apartment, and immediately the flashbulbs began to pop. There was a huge uproar. Whistles, clapping, yelling, posters declaring their admiration.

Girls, blonde girls, thousands of them lined the sidewalk, their boyfriend's on leashes next to them. And every girl was ecstatic to see their hero. The one woman that had finally waged war on all the interloping, brunette, boyfriend stealing skanks of the world.

"We love you Sarah!" they shouted.

"Way to kill Jill Roberts, Sarah," another said as she passed.

Sarah waved to her adoring public and confetti filled the air around her as she continued on her walk to her beloved Porsche, with Chuck in tow.

"They all love you, Sarah," Chuck said, smiling on her proudly.

"That they do," Sarah answered, unable to keep the look of satisfaction from her face.

"But I love you more," Chuck said, eliciting a wider grin from Sarah. "And I love you harder, deeper, more thoroughly, any time of day or night you choose."

"How many people have you killed this week?" someone shouted from the back of the crowd.

"Five-hundred brunette skanks have died this week alone," Sarah announced, causing the cheers to only grow louder.

"That's my girl," Chuck said, wrapping his arm around her. "You're a killing machine, and I couldn't be prouder. Want me to plow you in the car? We can even put the top down so everyone can see us."

"Oh, well, if you insist," Sarah said coyly.

Sarah turned the radio on, once she was seated in her car.

"You're listening to WSRH, Sarah FM, your only home for all of our beloved Sarah's favorite songs, with praise and worship sessions at 20 past the hour, every hour for our hero," the DJ, a nice blonde woman with no interest in Chuck whatsoever said. "Now for some Nina Simone, 'Feeling Good'."

"I love this song," Sarah said, smiling.

"And I love you," Chuck answered. "Now let's get naked!"

"Oh Chuck," Sarah cooed.

"Sarah," Chuck whispered. "Sarah? SARAH!"

Sarah's eyes shot open.

"Wha-huh?" she mumbled.

Quickly taking in her surroundings, she realized that she wasn't taking a victory lap around the courtyard with thousands of admiring onlookers. But she was in bed with Chuck, so it wasn't all bad.

"Sarah, we have to get up," Chuck said, shaking her lightly.

"Mmmmm, not now. Need sleep," she groaned. But Sarah couldn't keep the silly grin off her face remembering her dream.

"Good dream?" Chuck asked. He was getting so observant when it came to her. Sarah didn't mind Chuck observing her at all, ever.

"Not as good as this morning could be," she said suggestively, throwing a leg over him possessively, her hand sliding down his chest, over his abs, descending towards naughty territory.

"Not that I wouldn't love to do that," Chuck said, pulling away from her. "Because obviously, I would. But we have a briefing scheduled for eight, and it's already quarter after seven, so…"

"Ugh," Sarah groaned. "Stupid job, always getting in the way of my sex life."

"We had sex three times last night," Chuck protested.

"And it's a new day, and we haven't had sex at all today," Sarah pointed out.

"Fine," Chuck said. "Let's go to this briefing, and then when it's over—"

"You'll bone me right on the table in Castle, Casey's protests be damned?" Sarah asked hopefully.

"Perhaps with a little more tact," Chuck said. "But we'll see what we can do."

"Tact is for pussies," Sarah grumbled. Then kissing Chuck on the cheek: "But I take what I can get."

Castle Facility
February 20, 2011
07:59 PST

"General," Casey began, "and I mean no disrespect by this—"

"Just say what's on your mind, John," Beckman said from the other end of the video-link.

"Okay, here it is." Casey let out a deep breath. "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"Colonel!" Beckman scolded. "The language really isn't necessary."

"Sorry, ma'am," Casey said sheepishly.

"But I see your point, and believe me, I tried to get this problem fixed before it could happen," Beckman explained.

"And…?"

"And someone in the know assured me that it wouldn't be a problem."

"I'm looking at her file, General, and I don't see any way this could avoid becoming a problem. Potentially an international problem, if MI6 takes it personal," Casey said.

"It won't be a problem because—"

"We're here!" Sarah shouted from the entryway to Castle. "Let's get this thing over, okay? I have plans."

Casey snorted. "So you're calling it 'plans' now?"

Sarah and Chuck began the descent into the team's secret lair.

"No, not really, but General Beckman doesn't like it when I say fuck, plow, screw, bone, boink—"

Beckman cleared her throat, cutting Sarah off midstream. "Agent Walker," she said.

"General," Sarah answered, straightening her posture.

"Sorry to inconvenience you this morning, Sarah," the general added.

"Apology accepted," Sarah said. "Are we done now? Because Chuck promised me we could turn Castle into our own personal sex kingdom after the briefing."

Beckman rolled her eyes. "No, we're not done. But Colonel, feel free to disappear today's surveillance tapes before I ever have to review them."

"Roger that," Casey answered.

"Anyway," Beckman said, clearing her throat again. "The reason I've brought you hear this morning is that we've caught a break in the Corvus group investigation."

Chuck's ears immediately perked up at the mention of Corvus. Such a professional now, Sarah observed.

"MI6 picked up some chatter awhile back, and they actually have an analyst that has been specializing in the second phase of Corvus for some time now."

"We're working with the Brits again?" Chuck asked skeptically.

"You'll be working with this woman," Beckman said.

Then Sarah's ears perked up. Woman? Hopefully someone old, fat and ugly.

But as the screen split and this analyst's picture was revealed, Sarah discovered that this new teammate was anything but ugly. And she was certainly a brunette.

A little over an hour later, Sarah found herself lying naked on the cot of one of Castle's holding cells. Fortunately, Chuck was there with her, and to her delight, just as naked. And sweaty. She'd given it to him but good.

"That was—"

"Amazing?" Sarah asked, cutting Chuck off.

"Well amazing, of course. It always is. But I was going to say intense," Chuck answered.

"Just marking my territory," Sarah said distractedly.

Chuck sighed. "Sarah, I can practically hear your wheels turning. What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?"

Sarah couldn't help but to grin, just a little. Chuck was always so cheesy after sex. It was only one of the many reasons she loved him so. Still, she was having problems focusing on her boyfriend. Just another in a long line of reasons she needed to formulate her new plan. As a spy, distractions got you killed. As a girlfriend, distractions kept you from getting as much sex as you otherwise could. The latter was more her concern at the moment.

"Just thinking about what I want for lunch," Sarah lied.

Chuck propped himself up on an elbow. Gingerly. He was obviously sore. Sarah took a little bit of satisfaction from that.

"You do know that I can tell when you're lying," he said in an accusatory tone.

Now Sarah sighed. "Fine, I was trying to remember what hotels the Brits generally use for their operatives in the L.A. area in case I needed to, you know, investigate our new partner."

"Sarah," Chuck said warningly. "This is an important assignment. We can't have you killing our key asset, especially before she's allowed to help us."

"But I want to," Sarah whined.

"Sarah, no. Please? For me, can you let her live?" Chuck begged.

"Fine," Sarah huffed. "I guess I can do that for you. I can do anything with you inside me."

"You mean be-side you?" Chuck asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"No, Chuck. No I don't."

And sore or not, Chuck would have to prepare for another go. Sarah needed her "strength" up if she was going to maintain enough will power to let this potential, and likely skank live. And if she was going to acquiesce to Chuck's wishes, then he was going to have to give into hers. And at the moment, her only wish was more sex.

"Mmmm," she moaned contentedly as she sank down onto Chuck. "Sex at work is definitely in my top 10 favorite things in the world."

A/N: So this is just chapter 1, of course. There's a lot more to this story. Well, maybe not a LOT more. But there is more. The actual depths of the AP universe are certainly debatable, haha. Figure on probably 4 or 5 chapters in the end. And chapter two is already done, and it includes the first meeting of this mystery girl and Sarah, which promises to be explosive. So tune in next time to check that out. You guys are awesome. Peace.