After listening to The Ballad of Ianto Jones from the Children of Earth soundtrack, I absolutely could not resist the urge to write this. I should have been studying. I have three exams this week. Well, enjoy, and listen to the song if you haven't had the chance.
Robotically, Ianto carried out the necessary daily motions of life. He ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner, not tasting any of it. He did the dishes, took out the rubbish. He cleaned his flat from top to bottom until it was almost too spotless. He went to the store for food and toiletries. It was all mechanistic. His life carried all the humanity and vibrancy of a wind-up toy's, or, God forbid, a Cyberman. It was cold, slow, unfeeling, because it hurt so much to feel after Lisa's death. Too much.
When he returned to work, finally, the pace picked up slightly, but Ianto still felt numb. Perhaps Jack should have killed him, too. He had less left in him than the Cyberman that Lisa had become at the end. The only difference was that his was a human coldness, a human numbness, and that made all the difference in the world.
Ianto could be warmed back up, brought back to love, to life. Someone only needed to cut his strings, oil his gears, and breathe life back into him. Jack had plenty of life and love that he was willing to give, that he was trying to give Ianto. He was the toymaker that found the most joy out of fixing the broken ones, but Ianto was not quite sure that he wanted to be fixed, especially by Jack. Jack's hands were not exactly careful.
Despite his uncertainties, Ianto tentatively allowed Jack the chance and something clicked. It was like a lighter giving a flame, or a jam in the gears, for they were no longer simply turning. Instead of going mechanistically through life, Ianto was dancing, slowly at first, but elegantly, gracefully, a beautiful ballroom dance. Jack was leading of course, taking the steps: one, two, three, four, into a whirlwind of terrible beauty and intricacy. Before the Doctor and the year that never was, Jack had been content with slow and tentative, but he wanted, needed to dance faster and more vibrantly afterward. After all, the song was only so long.
Ianto felt like they were flying, and he was happier than he had ever been in his entire life. Nothing could take him off his high. Sure, Ianto was quite unsure of his partner and had not fully grasped the moves of the dance, but those worries faded into the background as the music crescendoed and he allowed himself to fall in love.
All that really mattered anymore was that the song would eventually end. The beat was like a clock, tick-tock, tick-tock. While Jack could dance forever, soon Ianto would have to stop.
There would be moments where both of them would almost forget, lost in the dance, the music, and each other, but something would always remind them. A near miss, Owen's death, Toshiko's...tick-tock, tick-tock. So, they danced faster and closer, but always keeping a distance that neither were sure they wanted.
After all, it would be ending soon, the song, the dance. Ianto would die.
Although there was no sign of the dance slowing or the music ending, Ianto frantically tried to pull Jack closer, while Jack, afraid of falling too deep into dancing with Ianto, pulled away.
They never did meet and regretted it when, without warning, someone else pulled the plug on the speaker and the song abruptly stopped.