Disclaimer - The usual, don't own it, can't own it, will never own it etc.
A/N - If you thought my 11pm fics were insane, I am currently writing this by the light of a street lamp coming in through my window, a newly opened can of Dr Pepper ® in my hand and my clock showing 3.05am. This was thought of a while back and for no real reason I feel like writing this now. Lucky I can write without looking eh? For the purposes of this fic, everyone is alive and well…
LOTR Explain All:
Introductions
Everyone was muttering to their neighbours in the dimly lit Gondorian theatre. People of all races had flocked to Minas Tirith to witness the first performance in the newly renovated section of the city. It had been arranged so no-one would know anything about it all except the name; "How to…" That was mainly what the chat was about. Some snippets could be heard above the rest when the creature in question got slightly over excited. A loud cough from nowhere made them stop their fuelled conversations.
"Hello ladies, gentlemen and anybody else who cant be included in those groups!"
Cheers erupted from the rows of seats that we're slowly filling up as spectators took their places. The commentator continued as silence once more descended.
"Welcome to the show 'How to…' starring the most famous people of all middle earth. I am your host, Mithrandir. Some may know me by other names, but we shall not dwell on that. Tonight we shall see performances from a humble gardener to the king of Gondor himself! So sit back, relax, hope I don't get bored and decide to set you on fire, and enjoy!"
Suddenly the lights went out and the silver trumpets of the white city played a fanfare. A spot light fell on the red curtain open the stage as it slowly began to rise to the clapping of the audience…