Title: What REALLY Happened
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Why I'm posting this: My friend challenged me to write Phantom of the Opera slash, Which I did over Instant Messenger shortly after taking the PSAT (hence my brain was missing). Umm... enjoy...
Warning: Contains slash and piling on Christine. I'm also making fun of the gay stereotype. I have many gay friends, I know they don't act that way.
What REALLY Happened
"Damn it!" said Raoul
"I'm so sick of this girl! Can't she make up her mind!" He wailed
Christine had yet again given him the "poor Erik but I really like you" speech for the tenth time
Couldn't she just decide? This was getting old
'You know what?' Raoul thought, ' I'll just make up her mind for her.'
As quickly as he could he went towards the darker cellars of the opera house. Erik had to be there somewhere.
Raoul wandered around in the darkness for a long time, cursing Christine every thirty seconds or so until he found the lake. Well, not so much found as fell in.
'Great, now I'll have to change before the opera.' Raoul thought
Raoul, being the absolute genius he was also finally realized that Erik might not be so happy to have him wandering around his lake house, especially since the phantom still thought
Raoul was his competition.
Nervously Raoul called out, "Umm... Mr. Phantom, sir? ... Erik?"
Raoul had resolved to tell the ghost that he could have Christine and to be happy with her. He looked around nervously but saw nothing.
Raoul, also saw nothing as something snuck up behind him and hit him on the head.
When Raoul awoke, however, it wasn't dark. In fact, he found himself in an attractively decorated and well lit room.
"Wow..." Raoul said aloud, "Nice color scheme."
"Why thank you," said a voice, "I do take pride in the fact that my rooms are tastefully furnished with the proper accessories."
"Wait a second," thought Raoul, "I must be in Erik's house but I'm not dead. That's amazing! More amazing though is his decorating sense! That's something Christine sorely lacks! Have you seen her dressing room! A Million pictures of her dead father!"
Before Raoul could continue his interior monologue about Erik's decorating skills, Erik appeared before him.
He was dressed, as usual, in a black suit with his white mask and fedora perched over his head.
"Welcome, Viscount de Chagny, to my humble abode, I have brought you here-" Erik started.
"Hey! I came here! I was looking for you!" Raoul interrupted.
"Let me finish!" Erik said, his eyes glaring murderously. It is not wise to upset the opera ghost.
"As I was saying," Erik continued, "I have brought you here to give you an important message concerning Christine."
Raoul rolled his eyes. Not her again.
Erik looked at him dangerously, "Take her! Go off and marry her. Please!"
'What?' Raoul thought 'What's going on?'
"I mean all she does is whine whine moan moan," Erik continued Erik. "'Erik play the piano
for me, Erik wear your mask, Erik sing, Erik teach me!' I'm so sick of her."
"Whoa..." said Raoul, holding up a hand. "I came here to tell you to take her! I don't want her! Don't dump her on me!"
"So you don't care for our songbird?" Erik asked, suddenly.
"Don't get me wrong," said Raoul, "She's got a great voice. But you know, it's really personality that counts. In that category she's sorely lacking. I think all she's interested in is my money. After all, I'm the patron, but I think she wants me to further her career."
"I concur completely!" Erik responded. "She can't bear to look at me, but I still have to teach her!"
Raoul thought for a moment. "Do you think she was stringing us both along?"
"I think she must have been." Erik said
Raoul thought for a moment. "Christine talked about how ugly you were without your mask.. um... do you mind.. uh.. letting me see?"
"I'm insulted! I'm not a zoo animal!" Erik said angrily
"Oh come on!" Raoul said, "I just want to get an idea. I've heard your music, and it's really great. I just want to see if well... One quality matches the one defect."
"Well," said Erik, "If you put it that way..." And he took off his mask.
"Hideous, aren't I?" Erik said, showing him his face.
Raoul looked at him, "Actually, it's not that bad."
"What?" Erik asked "Maybe I hit you a little too hard on the head."
"No..." said Raoul, "It's really not that bad at all. I've seen nobles who've looked much much much worse, only no one says anything because they have money."
"I've tried, I can't buy my way into society." Erik said
"Well of course not!" Raoul added. "Nobles hate that! You'd need an introduction."
Erik thought about this for a moment.
Raoul decided to change the subject.
"Can you play some of your music?" He asked "I'm really quite a fan."
"Really?" Erik asked "I would enjoy that." He moved to put his mask back on.
"You don't need to do that," said Raoul "I mean, except for the slight blemish you're quite a good looking fellow."
Erik smiled, no one had complemented him on his looks before. He sat down and began to
play his organ, watching the Viscount listen.
"You know," Erik said, "You really do have the nicest eyes..."
The next day...
Christine came back into her dressing room, fuming.
Where was Raoul? Why hadn't she seen him? He usually came to all her performances. She
hadn't heard or seen anything from Box Five either. Sitting on her dressing table, however, were two letters!
'Huzzah!' she thought 'They are probably filled with apologies from my two men!" She opened one eagerly.
Christine,
I am fed up with your indecision, your divided devotion, your bad dress sense, and your demands of your career. Therefore I have found myself someone who will be a credit to the Chagny family. I have gone to travel with this companion, who has promised to teach me many things. I hope you will not harbor too much resentment.
VC de Chagny
"What!?" Christine exclaimed aloud "Surely this cannot be!"
She ripped open the next letter.
In Erik's scrawly handwriting were the words:
Christine,
Am taking a vacation with a friend for my health. I have to get out of the cellar every once and a while. If you want to be an opera star you might try wearing colors that accentuate your eyes more. And concentrating on the music rather than furthering your career. I'm afraid the Angel of Music is going into retirement.
Au Revoir,
Erik the Angel of Music
Christine had such a fit of spirits that she had to be carried home and could not perform for a week.
The VC de Chagny went on a trip and came back a much superior pianist. Introducing his new composer "friend" to others. This friend immediately became a hit with the French society
The Count de Chagny was a little concerned with his brother's activity but decided, heck, he's the viscount, he doesn't have to pass on anything at all. And thought, well, there's one in every family.
At least he and his friend were impeccably dressed and good decorators.
The End.