Disclaimer: Everything from HP books belongs to JK Rowling
Piano
All I really need to survive is my piano.
This is my sanctuary, my place. This is where I go to be free, to forget about school and my parents and… you. It's where I can get clarity from my problems, escape the side of me that Hogwarts think is real, who you think is real. I'm not really like that you know. I'm not who you think I am.
People look at me and see one person, one side. They gather around because they think I'm handsome or wise. They think I'm some sort of God because I can fly on a broomstick and throw a ball through a hoop. Life at Hogwarts is so superficial and you, you used to save me from the excessive praises. I fell for you, not because your beautiful or because you said no, but because you were different. You don't smile at me like the rest of them. You don't feel obliged to like me and it's what made me fall for you. You're your own person, the bravest person I know.
You hate me though. You see that attitude and the smiles I give everybody and you think that that's who I am. You, like everyone else, think I'm just the quidditch boy, the transfiguration prodigy. You think I'm my looks and my money. You can't see past this façade I have up and see me, who I really am. Instead you hate a boy who doesn't really exist; someone I just pretend to be.
I love you. I don't even know why anymore. It's hard to know why I still hang on, still have hope. You remind me every second you get that you hate me, that I'm below you, not worth your time. You put yourself on a pedestal, just like me, except you're blind to know it's there. I hate you. I wish I did at least. Because I can't stand to see how above all of us you think you are; how you hate me for my arrogance when you have it as well. You say I'm conceited and superficial, but you're cold, heartless. You give no thought to breaking my heart, to shattering my very soul, and yet here I am still loving you with more passion than ever. I love you, Lily, although usually I wish that I didn't.
The piano, it's the most perfect instrument in the world. I love sitting here composing music thinking about the world, my life, everything, and writing all down to music. I write songs about life: the pain, the agony, the perfection of it all. I composed a few about you, about your beauty and feistiness. I wrote about your compassion and grace. I wrote about that heart I know is in there but is hidden. Lily, I see you as a girl, a scared girl, hiding from the world, letting no one inside your heart. That's a mistake you know, shutting everyone out. You do that and you'll die cold and alone without anyone to remember you, to keep your memory alive. I want to change that. I want to be the one who's by your side, who you wake up next to in the morning and who you go to, to dry your tears. I want to be the one you love. Please, Lily, let me inside. Please, make my pain go away.
The music echo's against the walls. Every key I push makes a beautiful sound spreading through the room. That's true beauty, music, art, everything you believe I don't notice. Have you ever tasted it, Lily? Tasted the bitterness of unrequited love? Have you ever watched someone everyday smiling and laughing happy without you? Has the person you love ever turned their back on you? Ever told you to just stay away?
In the end, Lil, it's you who will miss out. You live with icy smiles and a frozen heart and it's you who will end up alone and miserable. I won't love you forever. Someday I'll find someone who returns my affection, who loves me, the real me. But you, you will always be how you are today looking down on everybody around, abusing those who love you most. I love you, Lily, love you more than anything in the world. But it will fade, just like everything else I will come to wonder if it ever existed. In the end, no matter how much I love you, all I'll need is my music, my piano.
End
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