The Queen of Broken Hearts
Written by the Storytellers (Dennie-chan and Rachel-san)
Disclaimer: We, the Storytellers, did not write A Midsummer's Night Dream. William Shakespeare did, so he deserves all the props on that front. We also do not own Gundam Wing and all that, but we do have to warn you. We're freaking nuts.
I wouldn't read this if you are a Relena fan whose feelings get hurt easily.
If you're wondering what the hell is going on, don't worry. It gets better.
Explanation of Other Characters
Crystilline "Crys" Yuy-Winner: Heero's twin sister and Quatre's wife
Kristana Winner: Crys and Quatre's daughter
Jessica, Danie, Moira-Selene, Gretchen, and Claudia-Michelle Thomas: Sisters (Jessica is the oldest)
Jennifer Dunne: Cousin to the Thomas sisters
Nicole Smith: "Ghetto-fabulous" family friend of the Thomas family
Benjamin Anderson-Lewis, Wayne Ferrell: More family friends
Chapter OneIt is a sunny day in Gracia with the T Squad, sans Cassandra, Jessica, Samantha, and Moira. The girls are shopping around for a present for Samantha's birthday, which is a few days away. They are basically walking around Gracia Park, hanging out.
Jennifer: It's a beautiful day isn't it?
Danie: Oh please. It's way too hot out here.
Claudia: Oh stop complaining. You can at least-- (Pauses in mock surprise.) Oh no, I forgot, you don't take your shirt off in public.
(The other girls laugh. Danie glowers.)
Danie: That was low, Claudia.
Claudia: I know. (Pats Danie on the shoulder.) I apologize.
Danie: I accept. No more nasty comments.
Claudia: Today at least.
Gretchen: You're bad.
Claudia: I know.
Jennifer: (Peering off into the distance) Hey...isn't that Quatre and them I see?
Claudia: Yeah...that sure is.
Danie: Wonder what they're doing.
Jennifer: Me too.
(Pause.)
Danie and Jennifer: Let's go see! (Walk off.)
Gretchen: Hey! Wait for me!
(Claudia, Danie, Gretchen, and Jennifer walk up to the Winner family. They see that the other boys are also with them, and there is food around.)
Jennifer: Hey--food!
Heero: Great, another bottomless pit is here.
Crys: (glares at him.) Heero! That's not nice!
Heero: (shrugs) That's why I said it.
Crys: (sighs) You're impossible...
Claudia: Hey guys! What's the occasion?
Crys: (smiles.) It's Quatre's birthday that's what.
Quatre: I told you I didn't want to celebrate my birthday, Crys.
Crys: Well maybe I want to celebrate the day my husband was born. So pipe down.
Danie: (Smiling) Oh hey--Happy Birthday Quatre.
Duo: (Eating cake) Coulda brought a present.
Gretchen: What?!
Jennifer: Hey--we didn't know! Otherwise we would have.
Crys: Quatre's always said he never really wants to celebrate it...
Quatre: And I don't.
Crys: But we're going to. Now quit being a whiner and enjoy the day, Quatre.
Quatre: (sighs) Alright, fine.
Jennifer: We're here! We can have fun! (Sits down next to Trowa.)
Gretchen: Yeah, I'm sure we can liven things up. (Sits in-between Duo and Trowa.)
Claudia: What is this--a bachelorette party?! (Sits next to Jennifer.)
(The other girls joke around while Danie remains standing.)
Danie: Um...where do I sit?
Crys: There's an extra seat next to Heero. You can sit there.
Heero: I'd rather not sit next to the mother of all annoyances thank you.
Danie: Excuse me? This coming from the King Jerk of Gracia Row?
Claudia: Cool it, Dans.
Danie: But--
Gretchen: Sit girl. No fighting--it's Quatre's birthday!
(Danie grumbles and sits down next to Heero.)
Crys: Thank you Gretchen. (smiles.) Now let's eat!
Kristana: Yay! Food! Me first! Me first!
Crys: Honey, daddy's first because it's his special day. You can go first when it's your birthday.
Kristana: (smiles.) Okay mommy!
Jennifer: Yeah...you gonna cut the cake?
Claudia: Stop salivating, Jen. That's improper. Besides, aren't you gonna share...? (Nudges her suggestively.)
Jennifer: (Blushing) Oh yeah...how're you, Trowa?
Trowa: I'm fine... what about you?
Jennifer: I'm cool.
Danie: Can we please stop the love connection?
Jennifer: Danie...
Gretchen: You know, Miss Daniella, you're gonna be in love like that someday.
Danie: There's as much probability in that as there is in Heero Yuy getting married.
(Gretchen and Claudia share a glance.)
Heero: I'm glad you think as much. I'd rather stay the way things are than be tied down to a woman.
Wufei: I would agree with that. Women are nothing but trouble.
Danie: Oh? And--
Jennifer: Quit it, Danie. The little ears.
(Danie rolls her eyes and shuts up.)
Gretchen: I don't see this getting any worse.
Voice: (From some ways off) Yoo-hoo! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERO!
(Heero freezes.)
Heero: Who the hell invited HER!!!!!!!?????? (Glaring at Duo.) If this is your idea of a sick joke I swear I'll--
Duo: Hey hey now! I didn't invite her! (Looks to T Squad suspiciously.) Is this YOUR idea of a sick joke?
Danie: (Sarcastically) No...my idea of a sick joke would be to see you and Heero naked.
(Pause. Claudia, Gretchen, and Jennifer hold their mouths shut.)
Crys: Danie!!! There are five-year-old ears around!
Kristana: Momma, what does she mean? Did she see Unkie Heero and Unkie Duo nakie?
Crys: (glares at Danie.) Now look at what you've done!
Danie: (Covering her mouth) Oops...sorry...
(Before anything else can ensue, enter Relena and the other G-Girls, curious.)
Relena: What's going on here?
Hilde: Looks like a party to me.
Danie: Gee, someone just graduated off the little short bus.
Dorothy: Oh yeah! Isn't it your birthday honey? Why didn't you tell me?
Crys: FIRST of all...
Dorothy: And why is SHE here?
Crys: Maybe because I'm his WIFE.
Dorothy: So?
Danie: That means he's hers. Translation: not yours, sista.
Dorothy: There is a little thing called a mistress you know.
Quatre: And I don't want one now go away!
Dorothy: You'll come around eventually.
Danie: Like a redwood.
Jennifer: (Getting off the subject) Um, so...
Relena: Look, I'm going to be honest--I am disappointed in you, Quatre, that you would leave us out of your birthday party.
Claudia: (Under her breath) Well, I'm going to be honest and say that he didn't want you here...
Heero: Because you're too annoying.
Quatre: My wife just surprised me I didn't know anything about this until she told me.
Crys: (To Relena and G girls.) Yeah and you're not invited now beat it!
Relena: How dare you speak to me like that?
Danie: She just opens her mouth and says it.
Relena: (Glaring at Danie) And just who are you to talk smart to me?! I am Relena--
Danie: Yeah, yeah, we know. Queen of the World--or FORMER Queen of the World. Yes--like we even CARE.
Dorothy: You should! Miss Relena is a saint!
Heero: Saint my ass. (To Relena.) Oh and if you ever speak to my sister like that again I'll kill you.
Danie: Smart man, he is.
Claudia: (In disbelief) And just a few minutes ago she was insulting him...
Relena: (Ignoring Claudia, going for Heero) But you love me!
Heero: You THINK I love you...If I had a choice between you and Crys. I'd pick Crys.
Crys: I don't know whether to be insulted or grateful you said that, Heero.
Heero: Be grateful.
Danie: Crys, Heero? Gee, you must like incest or something.
Heero: That's not what I meant and you now it. That's the sickest thing I've ever heard.
Danie: Sure, Heero...
Gretchen: She's his sister Danie.
Danie: Yeah, so. He coulda picked one of you or even me and it would have made more sense.
Relena: Yeah, right. Heero doesn't like you.
Danie: Maybe not, but he'd blow you up before he'd blow me up.
Relena: He wouldn't do that! He saved my life.
Danie: (Under her breath) Only to regret it later...
Relena: I don't see why you're so fascinated over him anyway. He likes me. End of story.
Danie: You mean, 'He's going to kill me. End of story.'
Heero: Relena would you just leave for god's sake?
Relena: Why should I?
Gretchen: It's not good to be in a place where you're not wanted.
Hilde: Hey...who ever said we weren't wanted?
Danie: Who DIDN'T say you weren't wanted?
Crys: I agree. You girls are nothing but nuisances to the guys.
Relena: (Huffily) Fine. But we WILL be back. (Leaves with G-Girls but not without glaring at Danie.)
Danie: She must not like me very much.
Gretchen: You are sitting by her "man." (Giggles with Claudia.)
Danie: Oh yeah, I forgot. Sorry, MR. PEACECRAFT.
Heero: (death glare.) You're as good as dead.
Crys: Alright, calm down. No fighting.
Heero: Screw it. She's gone too damn far. I'm kicking her ass.
Danie: Bring it on, Yuy!
Duo: Can we please take World War III AWAY from the food?
Jennifer: I'm with you on that one.
Danie: (to Heero) Name the time and the place and I'll be there.
Crys: (stands between them.) You lay one punch on each other and you'll regret it.
Kristana: Momma, why are they fighting?
Quatre: (answers.) Because Danie and Uncle Heero are not the best of friends.
Kristana: (frowns.) Oh...
Danie: Friends?! When did that happen?
Claudia: When you fell on him some years ago...
Danie: CLAUDIA!!
Claudia: Well...
Jennifer: (Standing) I think we should go... (to Quatre) Um, Happy Birthday, Quatre.
Quatre: Thanks.
Kristana: (To Jennifer.) But I wanna play with you Auntie Jenny!
Jennifer: I can come over and play later. I'll even bring my toys!
Kristana: Alright! Bring them all Auntie Jenny!
Jennifer: I will!
Claudia: You're such a big kid, Jen.
Jennifer: Well, it's mighty fun being a big kid, you know.
Claudia: Whatever you say...