Running in Circles
Written by Sarga

Posted March 17, 2010

Summary: Reborn after the fight with Queen Beryl, Serena, her memories intact, finds herself longing for a love beyond her grasp. Forced to face the possibility that he might not be her moonlight knight after all Serena yearns for the love of a thousand lifetimes.


Rated M for adult situations and language.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, but I promise to put her back just the way I found her.

Prologue – To Everything, Turn

. . . . . . . . . .

Serena found herself to be dead.

She was not sure how she knew, but she did; just like she knew the sun would keep rising, the earth would keep turning and the moon would keep casting its ethereal glow upon a grateful planet.

Serena could feel from the very depths of her non-being as the earth pulsed with life, recovering from its brush against near fatality with a resilience that astounded her. Aware of the distinct connection with life that went on around her, Serena found herself wandering; reaching out here and there in subtle ways that were rarely noticed but were always welcome.

A young woman yearned for a boy who never seemed to notice her. The wind blew just that certain way to change the direction of his gaze. Their eyes met and her spark was returned.

A grandfather found the strength in his illness to lift his granddaughter to his knee one last time. Reading her favourite story aloud, it would be a memory she would treasure for the rest of her life. He would too.

A mother caressed the cheek of a murmuring infant and his eyes opened to meet hers. She was a mother!

Serena flitted over and under and into lives around her, waiting for something, something she could not quite place. She did not know what it was she waited for until she felt it; her Other. He was calling her, and she rushed to his side in a heartbeat. But he was hurt in ways that she could not fix. He was alone and no amount of gentle persuasion could ease his pain. She watched with an ache in her own non-existent heart as his sombre sorrow was borne with stoic resolve. She could feel as his heart tried to close to the world even as it cracked under its own immense weight. This boy-child, this perfect mirror to her own free-spirited exultation, tethered her to him and soon she could bare it no longer. She vowed to help him in any way she could.

And so, Serena was born.

. . . . . . . . . .

Serena awoke to the sights and sounds of her new body with a sense of purpose. Her whole being shouted at her to aid her Other. But she was so small and he was so far away... how could she reach him without even the power to roll over, let alone stand and run to him as she longed to do. This was sheer torture; to be kept from him was such a cruel fate. It pulled on her insides and she was at a loss, so desolate that she did the only thing remaining in her tiny body's power; she screamed.

The nurses came running at the sound of the previously silent infant letting lose with a cry of mourning unheard of from one so young. The new mother was in a panic and nothing anyone did could console either mother or child.

Amidst all of the scurrying the lone boy went unnoticed as he entered the room. Silently he stood and watched as the little bundle made more noise than even he could venture to make. As he stood silently to the side, Serena felt herself become aware of her Other and she calmed. Searching the room with her shiny blue eyes she saw him. Welcoming him with her gaze as he approached, seemingly as drawn to her as she was to him. Reaching out a timid hand, he softly stroked her cheek. She closed her eyes, and let out a gentle sigh as she felt his feather-light caress. She was too small to help him yet; she had to focus on getting bigger so she could be there for him.

But this would do for now.

. . . . . . . . . .

Serena lay awake in her bed, her three year old body far too young for the thoughts that floated around behind her bouncy blonde curls. She thought back to her life before, to where she had defeated Queen Beryl, but at the cost of her life and the life of all of her friends. She was pretty sure Luna and Artemis had been fine but she had not seen hide nor hair of either one since she had started this round of life. She could not help but feel relief at the thought. If they made themselves apparent, it would only mean the reactivation of Sailor Moon and all that went with it. If it meant a long boring life, Serena was glad to be apart from her alter-ego.

It seemed to Serena that this time around was a little brighter than the last. She was so much more aware of the things around her, the moods of her parents, the desires of her young friends as their minds grew at the same pace as their bodies. Even so, Serena sometimes longed for the joyful oblivion that her peers were born with. It was only now, now that she had spent three years apart from her Other and knowing every moment that she was powerless to seek him out, that she realized the folly of remembering her past.

At an early physical age she had started to communicate with shocked parents. Since then she had been heralded as a genius child and Serena chuckled to herself as she thought of her past life and her less than stellar academic record. It would be years before she would have to think about that, though. The challenge would come when she hit high school and really didn't know what was going on.

For now she would enjoy the company of Amy, who had also been sent part time to a nursery for gifted children, and watch as the girl she once knew came into her own.

. . . . . . . . . .

At five years of age Serena saw Darien for the second time. There he stood at the corner with a satchel in hand, ready to cross the road, looking first in one direction then in another. He made it half way before his eyes met hers and, startled, he froze on the spot. Her voice screaming was the last thing he heard before screeching tires and blackness overtook him.

Serena's mother, trained in first aid, ran after her five year old daughter as the driver, pale and shaking, got out of the car. Knowing not to touch him for fear of a broken neck, Serena let her tears fall unchecked at the sight of her Other, her Darien as he lay broken on the ground. Using her training, Serena's mother took care of the unconscious boy until the paramedics arrived and, seeing no other adult lay claim to the child, she took it upon herself to travel with him to the hospital.

Serena held his hand until the paramedics took him beyond her reach.

Serena's voice was the first thing Darien heard when the blackness gave way to the light.

Cracking his eyes open, he looked on her in confusion as if trying very hard to think of something.

"Do I...know you," Darien asked, his youthful voice subdued in confusion and pain.

"I don't know," Serena furrowed her brow as she tried to suppress the hope she felt building deep within her. "Do you?"

Darien stared at her long and hard before giving up and closing his eyes. Sighing in exasperation, he brought his hand up to the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath.

"Do you..." his voice was shaky, uncertain. "...know me?"

She was taken aback by the question, she knew something was wrong and her hope turned into a festering pit of fear.

"I know you, Darien," she began softly.

"Darien," he repeated in a hushed whisper, the word seemingly foreign in his mouth.

Serena's eyes widened and she did her best not to let the fear escape her in one gulping sob. She succeeded, but only barely.

"So who are you," Darien asked timidly, glancing up to her hair. "For some reason I get the feeling that calling you meatball head would get me punched in the guts."

"Thank goodness!" a matronly voice called from behind, hiding Serena's shocked gasp. Stepping into the room, a kindly-looking nurse began to assess the damage. "What's your name, son?"

"Dar...Darien," he responded hesitantly, glancing to the golden haired girl for her nod of confirmation.

Nodding once the nurse took out a pen light and flashed it into his eyes a couple of times.

"Who are your parents, Darien, honey? We couldn't find any information in your bag."

"I..." Darien gave a pleading look to Serena. "I don't know," his voice was near breaking "I can't remember."

"His parents died when he was five." Serena spoke in his stead, her eyes dropping to the floor, unable to meet his gaze. "He goes to Tamagawa Elementary school. I'm sure you'll be able to find out who his guardians are from them,"

The nurse looked from the girl to the boy, a furrow of confusion and concern in her brow.

"How do you know that, sweetie?" the woman asked as she continued on with her poking and prodding.

"I'm..." Serena chanced a glance at her Other and saw that he had sunk back into his pillows. Eyes closed, he looked weary but she knew he was awake and aware. "I'm a friend."

A friend who hoped to be so much more.

. . . . . . . . . .

Serena lost herself to her tears as she fought hopelessly against the tide of sorrow that sought to drown her. Having kept track of him over the past two years, she was hopelessly inconsolable at the sudden loss of her darling Other. Oh, he wasn't dead, that would have been easy to remedy. Rather, his guardians had moved him away almost overnight, it seemed they were concerned about his loner tendencies.

For the past couple of years his presence had joined hers in the park every afternoon and even though she only caught glimpses of him, she could feel deep down that he was there, and that it was for her that he kept returning.

Sitting alone on an empty park bench, feeling his presence pull further away than he had ever been in this life, Serena let the warm summer rain wash over her grieving soul.

New York, New York.

He would be half a world away by the time she awoke the next morning. He would be as far away from her as he could be without coming back. Serena let out a heart-wrenching scream in the abandoned park, panting with the exertion.

Finally able to calm herself, she stood up from the park bench and began the lonely trek home.

. . . . . . . . . .

TO BE CONTINUED...

NEXT: Chapter One – Degrees of Separation

. . . . . . . . . .

This story lies between the end of the first season and the beginning of the second season (R). While I watched mostly only the first two seasons of the North American version, I did see some episodes translated. I've also watched the live-action Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon so I may have some story traits mixed up between them. Either way, it's somewhere off on its own in the Sailor Moon universe.

This is the first fanfic I ever conceived, although it has never been written down until now. Mind you it was more than ten years ago that I thought of this story, long before I even knew what a fanfic was, but it's stuck with me since then and I keep being drawn back to it. This story, while modified from my original (tweenager's) plot, has been knocking around my head for more than a decade and I hope I can do it justice.

As always, your feedback is greatly appreciated on grammar, spelling, plot holes or anything else that tickles your fancy.

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I do writing it!

~Sarga