Takao Kazunari was the living proof that humans never learn from their mistakes. And thus here he was, once again getting drunk with the Generation of Miracles, because that had worked out really great last time.
It had all started rather innocently. It was Golden Week so Shin-chan had some time off, and Kazunari had talked him into a not-quite-date (because Shin-chan still didn't, and would never, know of his feelings), with the excuse of hunting for some rare lucky item. Halfway through their not-date, Shin-chan's phone had buzzed. After humming to the receiver a couple times, a weird question came from his lips:
"Can I bring Takao?"
Kazunari had been completely dazzled by the strange request, and while he was busy trying to figure out what it was about, Shin-chan had hung up and put his phone away.
"There has been a change of plans." He announced ceremoniously. "We are to head over to Kuroko's apartment for dinner."
"Eh? Kuroko's? Why?" Was this not-date so boring even an introvert like Shin-chan was craving someone else's company?
"Akashi is in town for Golden Week and has summoned us for a meeting."
"Oh." Kazunari's heart sunk to the pit of his stomach. Why was it always Akashi taking Shin-chan away? Didn't he have a boyfriend already? Why must he steal his rare and precious time with Shin-chan? He wanted to protest, maybe even throw a ridiculous tantrum, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He knew that Shin-chan loved his former Teikou teammates, even if he never said it. He'd never get in the way of that. "Yeah, that's fine, don't worry. You should definitely take the opportunity to meet with your friends. We can just go out some other time. Maybe summer vacation." He muttered the last part bitterly. This was his first meeting with Shin-chan since Kuroko's birthday back in January. Their schedules just didn't match at all.
"You are making it sound as if you don't plan on coming with me."
Kazunari shot his eyes upwards to find Shin-chan's confused emerald greens. "Well yeah, it's a Teikou reunion, I've nothing to be doing there."
"It was not specified that it was strictly for Teikou alumni. I am fairly certain that Kagami will be there too…" He paused briefly, glancing at him from head to toe, as if scrutinizing him. "Let me call Akashi to tell him we won't be coming after all."
"Eh? Wait, what?" he was so confused now.
"I had already made a commitment with you before. It would give a poor impression of my manners if I were to leave you halfway through our outing. I only agreed to go because Akashi said it was alright to bring you along, but if you don't wish to attend, we can just resume our search."
Kazunari had felt burning heat rise to his cheeks, and he forgot about everything that was bothering him to focus on just how sweet and considerate Shin-chan was to him. If nothing else, knowing that he was special enough to make Shin-chan consider ditching his old friends, made his heart float all the way to Clould Nine.
"Don't be silly, Shin-chan, I'd never keep you from having fun with your friends. C'mon, let's go, we can't keep those crazy guys waiting long!" he grabbed Shin-chan's sleeve, giggling happily, and pulled him towards the train station.
And that had been the first mistake. If he'd been a terrible, selfish friend and refused to attend the meeting, he wouldn't be in the position he was in, having somehow (accidentally) admitted publicly to that shameful make-out session with Kagami.
Even if Shin-chan had said it wasn't "strictly Teikou alumni", the only one that didn't fit that description apart from himself was Kagami. He was also disappointed to notice Kise wasn't there, he was the one former Miracle that he actually got along with (other than the obvious). Perhaps he should've taken those two facts as a hint that none of this would end nicely, but he was still too stupidly drowned in happiness from Shin-chan's kindness (however weird it was in its manifestations) that he didn't give it any more thought.
"Would you care to explain the purpose of this meeting?" Shin-chan asked when they found the group sitting in the living room, apparently weary of the casualness of everyone else's attitude.
Aomine shrugged. "Akashi said he was in town and we decided to have a couple drinks?"
Shin-chan didn't seem very pleased with the answer, but still grabbed two empty chairs from the dining room and brought them over, handing one to Kazunari, who was torn between fluttering joy (because Shin-chan had been a teeny-tiny bit nice to him again and he was a certified idiot), and annoyance at Akashi and Aomine who were occupying the only double seat sofa because having no intention of revealing his feelings for Shin-chan didn't mean he didn't want to enjoy at least a little bit of bodily proximity. But he decided to settle for that nice, comforting feeling of Shin-chan's presence to his right, even if they weren't sharing the same seat.
"So what're we doing?" he asked lightly, still feeling like he didn't really belong here.
"Play some drinking games? We just want to finish the leftover booze from Tetsu's birthday."
Kazunari was going to comment on how it had been months since Kuroko's birthday and how could he possibly have any leftovers, but then he looked at Kuroko and remembered his photo was probably in the dictionary next to the word 'teetotaler', so he held the thought back.
The drinking games started rather innocently too. They played a couple of card games and the loser –so usually Aomine or Kagami- had to take a shot. After an hour, both of them complained that no one else was drinking, and someone –Kazunari really wished he'd paid attention to who it had been so he could curse them forever- proposed they played 'never have I ever'.
"What kind of game is that?" asked Shin-chan, neatly shuffling the cards they'd been using, his fingers deft like a magician's, before placing them back in their box.
It took Kazunari a moment to blink himself out of the trance that the graceful movements of Shin-chan's hands put him in so he could answer. "Basically when it's your turn you say something you have never done, and if anyone else in the room has done it, they have to drink."
Shin-chan furrowed his beautiful eyebrows. "That sounds like utter foolishness."
"It doesn't have to be stuff you've never done. You can also say shit you've done, the point is to learn everyone else's dirty secrets." Aomine interjected with a smirk.
Shin-chan looked like he wanted to protest again, obviously not finding any intellectual value in this proposed activity, but before he could do that, Aomine intoned "Never have I ever gotten drunk."
Everyone but Kuroko and Shin-chan drank. No surprises there.
Shin-chan was still not convinced at all by this new form of entertainment, and Kazunari found it terribly cute how he glared at his beer and took a swig from it when Kuroko said "fell asleep in class", curling his mouth in disgust. Shin-chan hated beer, but he was too earnest not to participate when everyone had already agreed to it.
The game continued in a mostly tame vein for a couple of rounds, questions like 'cheated on a test' or 'faked a cold to skip school' coming up. When Shin-chan's first turn came, he took a moment to think and finally said "Never have I never ignored Oha-Asa's suggestions."
Aomine hollered in laughter and even Kuroko snorted. Momoi giggled softly. Everyone but Shin-chan drank because he was the most beautiful human alive and the booze was making it hard for Kazunari to hold back the intense impulse to hug him.
Of course Aomine was getting drunk way faster than the rest of them, which made him decide it was time to spice things up.
"Never have I ever hidden porn under my bed."
Kazunari took a swig of his beer, keeping his eyes wide open to look at the others, and almost choked when he saw Shin-chan was drinking too. Shin-chan? Porn? He'd always assumed Shin-chan was entirely uninterested in sex, his mind too pure to even think of something like that. Heat rushed to his face with the thought of Shin-chan browsing through a dirty magazine, his beautiful hand in his pants, teeth biting his lower lip, breathing labored and cheeks flushed and he really needed to change that train of thought because these pants would be unforgiving if he allowed the blood to rush down south.
The questions then started getting a little more personal, with Momoi saying "asked someone on a romantic date." Shin-chan went to the bathroom whilst Kuroko asked "had an unrequited crush", to which Kazunari drank bitterly. He was glad Shin-chan had left because he really didn't want to know. A part of him wanted Shin-chan to find a worthy partner and be happy, but he also didn't want to know anything about it when it happened.
He managed to drop the thought when he noticed Kagami was drinking too, and that Kuroko had rolled his eyes but hadn't taken a sip from his vanilla milkshake (really, the personification of a teetotaler). He smirked. So his suspicions were correct.
When his turn came, he said "never gave Valentine's chocolates to someone I liked" and gulped down the last of his beer remembering the night he'd spent in the kitchen, and how his fingers were shaking when he'd told Shin-chan that Kazuha had made too many and let him have some "so let's share." And how Shin-chan had asked him if he was okay because he'd had dark circles under the eyes and a burn in one finger and he'd wanted to cry because he loved him too much.
The alcohol was already starting to make his head buzz, which meant he had to concentrate extra hard so he wouldn't lean into Shin-chan's shoulder, which currently looked like a very comfortable pillow for his tired head. He almost missed Shin-chan saying "never participated in public displays of affection." To which he opened a new beer and took a small sip –there had been a girl, once- and heard Murasakibara claim "Minechin should drink the whole bottle for that one" to which everyone laughed.
Then Akashi said "never had a romantic interest on a fellow teammate" and everyone drank.
Or at least the amount of movement seemed to indicate so, but Kazunari wasn't much aware of anything other than Shin-chan hesitantly taking a sip, his cheeks glowing soft pink, and his heart plummeted to the ground.
Who?
Who had Shin-chan had a crush on? Akashi? They'd always seemed oddly close and had compatible personalities and interests. Shin-chan was always eager and quick to attend to Akashi's every summoning. Kuroko? Shin-chan was very protective of him from time to time, even if he tried to deny it. Maybe Kise? He seemed to have a special talent to rile Shin-chan up. Was it someone from Shuutoku? Did Shin-chan still have a crush on that person?
Ah.
That gleam in his eyes was unmistakable.
He still loves them.
Kazunari really wished he could erase that information from his memory. He'd never wanted to know, dreamed of remaining blissfully ignorant and pretend he was the most important person in Shin-chan's life, even if it was only as a friend. The alcohol in his bloodstream was already loosening the tear glands in his eyes. Gods, he really hoped he would forget all of this come morning.
Aomine said 'never made out with anyone who's in this room now'. Kazunari drank without thinking, his heart heavy in his chest.
It took him a moment to realize everyone fell eerily silent, as if the temperature had dropped ten degrees.
"Oi, oi, why did only Kagami and Takao drink?"
Shit.
A bolt of panic shot up his spine, and he almost didn't notice Shin-chan's posture stiffening to his right –except this was Shin-chan and Kazunari always noticed him. He looked at Kagami only to find a mirror of his own terror. Regrets about their drunk make-out session had been eating him alive for months, and the atmosphere between them was still awkward. It's not like there was any misunderstanding about anyone's feelings –or lack thereof-, and they were both very aware that it had just been a dumb slip and nothing more. Heck, if it had been Kise, they would probably just brush it off and continue like nothing. But for some reason it was weird talking to Kagami after having shoved his tongue down his throat. Perhaps it was a thing about Kagami's sexual naiveté, or the fact that both of them had been dejected and heartbroken and thinking of someone else at the time. Either way it remained a shameful secret that he'd never ever planned to talk about, certainly not expose it to a room full of people.
"W-what actually matters is why Aomine didn't drink th-though?" he pointed out, trying to divert attention away from himself.
"Ryouta's not here." Was the nonchalant response. "You hang out with him a lot, surely you've heard him brag about how he's the only one I've been with, he loves saying that."
Ah, on second thought, Kazunari had heard Kise say that. A lot, in fact. But he'd never given it much credit, he was sure Aomine must've dated Kuroko at least for a short time in junior high. Observing people was supposed to be his talent; he never got these things wrong.
"Now don't try and change the subject, what's up with you two?" Aomine continued, a devilish smirk on his face.
He swallowed heavily and tried to force a light smile on his lips, although it felt more like an awkward grimace. "A-ah, it really was nothing, we just got really drunk at Kuroko's party and—"
His excuse was cut short by the chill that ran up his body and made him lose his voice. He glanced to his left and saw Kuroko's eyes on him, and the look he was giving him was downright murderous. It dawned on him that admitting to kissing Kuroko's not-yet-boyfriend had already been a terrible idea, but also confessing he'd done it on Kuroko's birthday party was like a death wish. He regretted every single life choice that had led to this moment in which he was about to get assassinated by a guy ten centimeters shorter than him and who was often considered a parangon of purity.
But Kuroko's next move wasn't to grab the closest stabby object to thrust it in Kazunari's eyes, much to his surprise. Instead, he shot up from his seat, wrapped his hand around Kagami's wrist, and pulled him up.
"Actually, Kagami-kun, I just remembered I needed your help to fix something in the kitchen." He muttered rapidly, his pupils on fire as he took advantage of Kagami's confusion to make him follow behind.
"Ah, since you're going to the kitchen, could you bring me a… oi, Kurochin, the kitchen's not that way!"
Everyone sat in stunned silence for a few moments. Kazunari's eyes stared at where the other two had disappeared and blinked a couple of times trying to make sense of what had just happened and unexpectedly found himself grinning. At least this mess would have a good ending for one of them.
Kagami's mind was a whirlwind of bewilderment and confusion. He wasn't sure of how things had come down to this, or what was even happening to begin with. All he knew was that now everyone knew about that most embarrassing episode of his life and that maybe he should bury himself alive to avoid facing the humiliation.
Kuroko was seething. Visibly. Kagami really had no idea of what was going on, he'd never seen Kuroko display so much anger, so transparently. He'd seen a wide range of Kuroko's emotions over the years they'd known each other, but all of them were of the understated category. Quiet rage that was only manifest in the tightness of his jaw, the hardness of his eyes. Silent sadness that made his bottom lip quiver and his knees shake. Sometimes he cried, but it was always quietly, tears slipping down his cheeks, not a sob or sniffle leaving his lips.
But there was nothing quiet or subtle about Kuroko's fury right now. He even slammed the door of the room closed –his bedroom, he noted, not the kitchen like he'd said before-. Kagami briefly wondered if he wouldn't burn a hole through a wall if he stared at it long enough.
He hadn't really noticed Kuroko's fingers around his wrist until they were gone, leaving his skin burning in their wake. He wasn't looking at Kagami, and he took three deep breaths, as if trying to calm himself down. He finally spoke, in a low, almost unintelligible voice, as if he'd finally reined his emotions in and he was back to his understated, quiet, but seething rage.
"Kagami-kun's first kiss…"
Kagami choked on an inhale, not sure if he'd heard that right, and waited to hear the rest of it with baited breathe, his heart thumping loudly against his ribcage. Kuroko finally turned to look at him and his blue eyes were blazing with ire, but there was also something else, something unmistakable; a little edge of hurt.
"I wanted it."
All the air was suddenly punched out of his lungs, and he forgot how to breathe. His head was spinning.
"Wha—" he spat, feeling as stupid and lost as he'd ever been.
"I waited for it, five years. I sent all the signs I could think of and waited, and waited. And you—" he sighed, exasperated, running his hands through his soft blue hair. "You gave it away."
His brain was trying to make some connections, to put the pieces together, but every time it did, the resulting picture made absolutely no sense. Kuroko must have noticed his absolute confusion because he sighed again and looked up to meet his eyes with as much determination as when he walked in a basketball court.
"They're not unrequited." He said, and Kagami didn't miss the soft pink glow on his cheeks, and the tip of his nose. "Your feelings for me… they're not unrequited. They've never been."
Kagami's brain short-circuited altogether. This couldn't be real. He had to be dreaming, right? There was no way, after all these years… He was misinterpreting something for sure.
"Kagami-kun, are you listening to me?"
He inhaled sharply and met Kuroko's eyes, stern and sincere.
"I… I think I am but, I'm not… u-understanding?"
People often told him he was dumb, but he'd never been so inclined to agree with them as he was right now. Kuroko seemed to share that opinion, given the frustration that was taking over his features.
"I'm really running out of ideas about how to make this clear, Kagami-kun." He stated flatly, then pressed the palm of his hand above Kagami's heart, which was probably an attempt at murder, seeing how it would now be impossible for him to actually breathe.
"I-I just… uhm… I'm so…"
"Kagami-kun, I'm feeling tempted to get over it and kiss you, but at the same time I'm starting to think even that wouldn't be enough to get the point across." He took a deep breathe, looked down at his hand on Kagami's chest, then back up to meet Kagami's puzzled eyes. "What should I do, Kagami-kun?"
Kagami, whose brain was all too fried to give any real answer to such question, replied with one of his own.
"W-why would you want to kiss me?!"
Kuroko stood on his tiptoes, which really should make him feel less menacing because he was so small, and beautiful, and really, so, so small, but Kagami had never been at the receiving end of such a predatorial stare and it was nerve-wracking.
"For the same reason I always sleep in your bed when I stay over, even if you have a guest room, and the reason I've been giving you handmade chocolate for the last five years even when I know I'm a terrible cook, and the reason I chose you of all people to be my light, not just because you're talented, but also because you're the only one I could ever wish to have as my partner."
Kagami swallowed, swirling the words around in his head, trying to comprehend them, to comprehend the the last five minutes, even with no oxygen reaching his brain at this point. And perhaps that was the only reason he dared speak the next words.
"K-kuroko? Th-this sounds a-a-a lot like a… a l-l-love confession."
"That is precisely what this is, I have been trying to explain that for the past five minutes."
A pause and sudden realization.
Oh.
Oh.
"B-b-but w-why? I mean… after all these years… why now?"
"I was waiting for Kagami-kun to realize. I thought I was being fairly obvious in my affections and you just weren't ready to take them. For a long time I've thought about us in the long term, Kagami-kun, and I wasn't sure if it was the same for you. I didn't want to rush into a…" he hesitated for the first time "a relationship if both of us weren't on the same page." He bit his lip briefly, then looked back up at him, cheeks tinted crimson, eyes fiery. "But then you went and gave your first kiss to Takao-kun and I don't know how to proceed anymore."
It was taking all of Kagami's mental capacity to convince himself that this was real and yes this was happening, so forming a full sentence was turning out to be quite hard. "I-it didn't mean anything though! We were just… I was upset about… y-your birthday cake. And how you… you and…" he felt awfully stupid thinking about it now. "You and Aomine always seem to make things work, you guys have a… a special bond and I felt I couldn't… compete."
"You never had to compete, Kagami-kun. Aomine-kun's my best friend, of course my connection with him is different to the one I have with the person I love. But you are severely underestimating us if you think there is anyone whose company makes me happier than Kagami-kun's."
Kagami's heart skipped three beats straight and he looked down at Kuroko's warm, honest smile. All of a sudden, every doubt was cleared off his head and everything seemed suddenly very easy and obvious and good, because there was really no place to hesitate when Kuroko smiled like that. "Well I… I can still give you my first sober k-kiss? If… if you still… w-want it."
"I was starting to worry you'd never ask."
Kagami threw out the last of his reservations and let his eyes fall closed as he leaned in and clumsily pressed his lips against Kuroko's. He had no idea of what he was doing, and he had the vague feeling Kuroko didn't either, and it was probably awkward and objectively a terrible kiss, but Kagami wouldn't have had it any other way.
Kuroko's smile was dreamlike when they parted, and it really hit Kagami right there how much Kuroko had wanted this. "I don't think I can be satisfied with just one, I need to make sure to wipe away any traces of Takao-kun left."
Kagami chuckled and felt his hands find Kuroko's, entwining their fingers together. "It's been months, I don't think there's-"
He was cut off by Kuroko's mouth on his and Kagami couldn't help smiling into it. Maybe kissing Takao hadn't been such a terrible idea if it'd somehow led into this, but he wasn't going to share that thought with Kuroko.
The party had fizzled out as quickly as Kazunari had sobered up after Kagami and Kuroko disappeared. They played a couple more games, but ultimately, it was odd to be playing in someone's house when the host himself wasn't there.
Shin-chan was the first to leave. His posture was still stiff and heavy ever since that last question. With a sharp voice, he announced he was going back home and got up without further ceremonies. Kazunari wasn't sure of the why, but he knew something was wrong and he couldn't let him just leave like that. He mumbled a quick goodbye and stumbled out of the apartment, catching up to Shin-chan right as he was leaving the building
"Shin-chan, wait!"
There was a moment of awkward silence, and Shin-chan didn't turn to look at him. It made his heart hurt.
"Shin-chan!" He insisted, breathless, tugging at his elbow.
Shin-chan finally stopped and turned to look at him, eyes dark and angry and hurt.
"Why did it have to be Kagami?!"
Eh?
"Shin-chan?"
Shin-chan swallowed and looked away, pulling his arm free of Kazunari's grasp.
"Why did you kiss Kagami?" he repeated, softer this time, his voice quivering at the end, and Kazunari couldn't understand why.
"I-I already explained, we were just super drunk and letting off some steam, it didn't mean anything, really. You know Kagami's totally smitten with Kuroko, and he's seriously not my type at all." He rushed to explain, even as he tried to figure out why this was upsetting Shin-chan this much, because it truly made no sense.
"Then why would you kiss him?"
Kazunari bit on his lower lip, avoiding Shin-chan's eyes, struggling for an answer that wouldn't give him away, that wouldn't end their years of friendship through betrayal and unspeakable feelings "I… I was just uhm… frustrated."
"Don't lie to me."
A shaky breath left his lips. "Alright, alright. Kagami and I, we were…" He didn't have to outright lie, he just had to keep enough details out to make the story acceptable, then everything would be alright. "I was a little heartbroken, and drunk and Kagami was also heartbroken and drunk. It just happened. It's really not important."
Shin-chan didn't miss a beat. "Why were you heartbroken?"
"Huh?"
Throughout this entire conversation, Kazunari had been fumbling with the question of why did this matter so much to Shin-chan at the back of his mind, but try as he may he was entirely incapable of coming up with any plausible, believable answer, and the task seemed to turn harder and more confusing with every word they exchanged.
"What… what made you feel heartbroken in the middle of Kuroko's party?" There was an edge to Shin-chan's voice, one Kazunari couldn't decipher, and it unsettled him, because not knowing what was going through Shin-chan's mind, being unable to understand his emotions, was a strange and unpleasant feeling.
"Ah, well, you know… the usual stuff." It would be hard to keep this vague without lying if Shin-chan continued prying, and he didn't really know what he'd do if that happened "I've a crush on someone and it wasn't really working out so uh… it caught up with me and I got really upset and the booze just made it way worse than it should've been."
"What do you mean… your… crush isn't working out?"
Like that kind of prying.
"Ah… I'd rather not talk about that, my heart's still too fragile."
Shin-chan was silent for a moment, then his eyes flashed with even deeper hurt, and Kazunari didn't know what he'd done wrong, he just knew he wanted to undo it immediately.
"You're always lying to me."
The words cut through the space between them like a blade made of ice. He was losing Shin-chan's trust, even without letting him in on his unacceptable feelings. How had everything gone so wrong, so fast?
"What?! No! Shin-chan, I'm not lying!"
He felt sick, and frantic, and desperate. And then Shin-chan turned again to face him, his eyes hard, angry, disappointed, his fists clenched tight at his sides.
"Every time you get drunk, you tell me you love me."
The silence was deafening.
Oh.
Fuck.
"E-excuse m...me?"
He'd fucked up. He was an idiot and he'd fucked everything up without realizing. Shin-chan would hate him, Shin-chan would never want to be his friend again and all he wanted was to be swallowed by the ground.
"Every time you get drunk and I bring you back home, you always say you love me. But now you're saying something about an unrequited crush and somehow that means you had to kiss Kagami when I was right there, and I don't understand this anymore. It can't all be true."
At any other time, Kazunari would have tried to laugh it off through the panic that constricted his throat, blame the alcohol and an exaggeration of his affectionate nature ('you know drunk people love everyone'), but there was something in those eyes, something he hadn't seen before, and he wasn't sure of what he had to do, just that he needed to do something.
"Shin-chan, you…"
He turned on his heels again, and there was a sense of finality to it, one that crushed Kazunari's heart.
"I'm going back, you're obviously sober enough to get home on your own."
No, no, don't walk away.
"W-we live in the same neighborhood though…"
I can't let you walk away.
"I'm getting back to the hospital."
"But Shin-chan, it's Golden Week you—"
"Just leave me alone, Takao."
I can't lose you.
"I was jealous for you!"
Shin-chan stopped in his tracks, eyes wide.
Kazunari covered his mouth with his hands, wishing he could swallow the words back, then let them fall to his sides in defeat.
There was no going back now.
"You were paying a lot of attention to Akashi and I was drunk and needy and stupid and, so I was jealous."
"But that's…"
"I know it's ridiculous. I know Akashi's your friend and there's nothing else between you two. And I know I wouldn't have any right to complain even if there was because we're… nothing." It hurt, it really hurt saying that out loud. "And S-shin-chan's not… mine but… I just… I just wanted you to be with me because I hardly see you anymore these days and I…"
He missed how they used to be back in high school, how they'd be together almost every waking moment and he wished he wasn't so clingy and so hopelessly in love and that he'd be able to take their almost long-distance friendship easier, but he couldn't.
Shin-chan's nostrils flared, his lovely cheeks blooming pink. "Don't say we're 'nothing'" He exhaled, faster, almost as if Kazunari's desperation had infected him. "You… you are my best friend. You were the first one that really tried to understand me and didn't judge me even if I'm… weird. I have always been able to trust you, blindly, on the court and with every other aspect of our lives and I've… always thought that we were… special. Not once have I thought of us as 'nothing'."
Kazunari's breathe caught in his chest, and he wanted to tell him he wasn't weird, he was beautiful and perfect and so many other things, and anyone who couldn't see that was missing out on the world's most valuable treasure, but instead he asked, his heart in overdrive, because Shin-chan's words were making him cling on to a sort of hope and he wanted to let go of it as soon as possible if it was just an illusion.
"Why didn't you… tell me about all this? If I said I loved you, why didn't you say anything?"
"You were always drunk when you said it! I… I couldn't be sure. And you know I'm not… with my feelings I…"
With that look on Shin-chan's eyes, Kazunari was done listening. He cleared the steps between them, grabbed the collar of Shin-chan's shirt and pulled him down to smash their mouths together. It was weird and awkward, and Shin-chan stood frozen for a few seconds before he pushed back against Kazunari's lips, clearly clueless about what to do. It reminded him a little of Kagami, and he wondered if this was actually Shin-chan's first kiss. His heart fluttered with adoration and he slowed down on the kiss, turning it from hungry and desperate to soft and tender.
"Shin-chan… Shin-chan, I love you." He peppered kisses to his nose, feeling Shin-chan's breath hitch "I love you." His eyelids. "I love you so much." His forehead. "So much." His cheeks. "Love you" across his jawline. "I swear I'm sober now, and I love you." Finally his mouth again, quick and chaste and impossibly sweet. "I'm sorry I made you wait this long."
Shin-chan's hands laced with his, and he saw emerald eyes watering behind crystal glasses, and Kazunari's heart broke a little at the sight. "I love you too." He sighed against Kazunari's mouth, their foreheads touching, and suddenly his lips broke in a wide, moonlight smile, his teeth peeking through like stars, and Kazunari felt tears pooling at the corners of his eyes because it was truly unfair that someone so beautiful existed and that he of all people alive was allowed to look at him, and cherish him, and love him and hold him so close.
"I can't believe I wasted so much time being stupid."
Shin-chan blinked rapidly, some lingering tears catching at his eyelashes (truly, too beautiful to be real) and squeezed his hands tighter.
"I don't think it has been a waste… All these years, the things we have shared and experienced together… I… I've been… happy… I could never think of that precious time as 'wasted'."
Kazunari felt himself smile and he rose on his tiptoes to press back against Shin-chan's forehead, their lips brushing together every few heartbeats. He sighed, drinking in the sight of his love, how warm he felt, how beautiful he was, inside and out, and how truly fortunate he was to be loved by him. He relished on that thought for a moment, Shin-chan loves me, and his smile grew wider, his heart warmer and fuller "Ahh, I know I shouldn't be surprised anymore, but Shin-chan really has the best answers to everything after all." He whispered with a giggle, raising his hands to lock them around Shin-chan's neck to pull him as close as physics would allow, perhaps closer still, to kiss him one more time.
Maybe making the same mistake twice wasn't so bad after all.
"Dai-chan, what were you thinking with that question?!"
"How in hell was I supposed to know none of those idiots had figured shit out! I just imagined they'd finally admit to it and then we'd all laugh because they're so fucking obvious and everyone already knew. I seriously thought Tetsu and Kagami were already… I mean, look at them, Satsuki, they're ridiculous! Tetsu's at Kagami's place more than he's at his own! And you can't tell me you didn't think Midorima and that point guard dude had been boning for years. They're exchanging bedroom eyes at all fucking times!" he ruffled his own hair with one hand. "People always call me 'emotionally constipated', but look at them! All these fucking years and they hadn't figured anything out? Un-fucking-believable!"
Satsuki sighed and couldn't say she didn't partially agree with the assessment.
"At least judging by how Midorima and Tetsu looked, this might actually push them in the right direction, so maybe next time we meet they'll all actually thank me for it."
Satsuki giggled. She wasn't all that sure about that last part, but she certainly hoped Dai-chan would at least be right about the first one.
The end
This is a birthday gift for Takao who is a bae and also a very belated birthday gift for Okomo whom I love with all my soul and I feel privileged to call my friend. Sorry that this is so late
I wanted to have this up way earlier but the actual confession scenes were a bitch to write because they're so dialogue-driven –especially the Kagakuro one, writing non-preestablished-relationship kagakuro is a nightmare- and well, everyone knows I've been going through.. I guess a rough patch would be an understatement. It's been hard, this semester, and the last week even moreso, but I'm moving forward as best as I can.
On an unrelated note, I'm the world champion of being A Boring Person to Play Never have I ever With, so it was hard to actually come up with questions OTL. I am in fact the world champion at being boring at drinking parties in general. I'm also not sure Japanese young people play Never have I Ever, and google didn't give me any answers so I took a literary license with it. On another unrelated note, I think every time I write Takao, I make him more and more smitten with Shin-chan, and I'm perfectly okay with that.