This takes place with the timeline tweaked a bit, it jumps from Grissom having the operation on his ear, to Committed with only a few months in between. Basically because those are the elements I wanted in the story and I really couldn't be bothered to cover the time in between.

Summary: Sara knows something is missing from her life, and has finally worked out what it is. A baby. But with no boyfriend how can she have one? Could using a sperm bank be the only way to get what she so desperately wants? And how will Gil react knowing she wants to have a strangers baby?

Pairings: GSR (grissom and sara) poss with hints of Cath/Warrick, haven't decided yet.

Sara sat there on her sofa, her hands flicking through the magazine she was staring at. Her eyes were watching the pages but weren't really seeing any of the articles on them. Her mind wasn't on what was in front of her. Her mind was somewhere else. Pursuing a problem it had tried to solve many times and it had never come to a result.

She knew that thinking about it again was not going to alter anything, it never did, but she could still not keep her mind of it.

She thought back to when she had noticed as if looking for some kind of clue.

It had been a domestic abuse case at work. She was the only free CSI to take it as all the others had cases. Grissom came off Catherine's case to help Sara cope with hers. He knew they hit her hard but he couldn't alter it this time.

It had been worse than usual however, the husband had beaten the wife, the wife had then shot her husband, before then dying of internal injuries left from the beating a few hours later. This while horrible was not unusual. The only thing which really struck both of them was that there had also been a child involved. The husband had also beaten their 9 month old baby, had strangled it with a cord until it passed out, it had barely survived.

Sara had always known that something was missing from her life; she had always tried to cover it up with work. This had worked until she had met Gil Grissom, and then when she came to work for him it became even harder to hide it.

She had then known that what her life was missing was love, sure she had friends, but she didn't have the almost unconditional love of a partner or parents to fall back on.

She had just never realised that the real thing missing from her life, was a child.

She discovered this when she had held the baby involved in the case as she took it to Social Services. The feeling of it just been right had come over her.

She had never wanted marriage, occasionally she had tried relationships but she always ended up fearing it, due to her parents. The only man she had even seriously considered was Gil Grissom, but she knew he was uninterested in her.

She could have coped with that, she didn't need marriage, a relationship or even a man. She just needed the ability to have a child with someone.

She had considered dating people until she found someone she liked, but had discovered too much emotion was involved in that and was still looking for a way she could manage it without hurting anyone, or getting herself hurt.

Her eyes still stared blankly at the magazine in her hand. She would never normally buy magazines herself, but it had been given to her by her neighbour.

Her eyes suddenly caught sight of an article which could just solve her problem.

She marked the page which it was on by folding down the corner. She got herself a glass of water, finished it and then grabbed the magazine and headed into her bedroom.

She lay in bed, what she had just read swimming around still in her head.

She read it again just to try and answer some of her questions. She found very few answers in the article, but she did find a phone number at the bottom. She glanced at the clock, she still had time.

She called the number, asked for some information and forms to be sent, told them her address and disconnected the phone before placing it back in its base on her drawers.

She tried to settle her mind enough to sleep; she needed to be awake for work.

Finally arranging her mind enough to sleep, thinking that she would think about everything in the morning. She dropped into an uneasy sleep, filled with odd dreams about things which didn't quite make sense to her still tired mind.