Disclaimer: He won't let me own them so my life will never be complete not the song either

Warning: one-shot, angst, no flamers, song fic

I Didn't Want To Do It

I didn't want to do it I really didn't. It made me do it by itself. My demon won't rest until I'm out of the way. He made me this way, they just contributed to it. If I could find I way to stop it I would. To me it's not what I' am, it's what I've done.

In this farewell

There's no blood

There's no alibi

Cause I've drawn regret

From the truth

Of a thousand lies.

I'm nothing but an experiment to them, to him. My own father Lord Kazakage. The perfect ninja no the perfect monster that is me. That faithful night I thought I finally felt hurt understand what it meant to truly hurt.

"…What does it mean…..? To hurt?" I said to Yahamaru. I had just finished terrorizing a group of kids. I just wanted to play with them and they ran and called me a monster. "…I…I've never even been injured, so… I was wondering what it felt like…" I asked.

"…"

"…"

"Well I'm not sure how to describe it…It's kinda painful…kinda unbearable…in short I guess you could imagine…being hit or cut and you can't hold it in or be yourself any longer…" he told me . " I can't really describe it…It's no fun definitely" he said smiling trying hard to explain.

So let mercy come

And wash away?

It really does hurt the pain I feel now I truly understand. I really didn't want to hurt any one. Also another thing that I wanted to know was hate another thing that I asked Yashamaru. I took his elder sister away with me being born, I felt like a true burden.

"Yashamaru…then…do you hate me?" I asked I really didn't want him to.

"Humans live their lives hurting others and being hurt in return, but even despite all that …people still love more than they hate…" he told me smiling even though he couldn't fully explain we had and understanding of things.

I really felt like our understandings of these two concepts that we talked about broke apart. The other night I felt farthest from the world. Like a monster in my closet and under my bed or the one inside myself coming for me trying to steal my soul from me.

What I've done

I'll face myself

I was now sitting on the roof top of a random building thinking. I looked at my hands and held them to my face. 'W am I…why am I such a monster' while thinking all I could feel were kunai coming for me. Like the monsters.

Love. Yes that's what I crave for the love of anyone. That what I truly want for the rest of my life. To be loved and not fear to be seen as me and not what I am or have done.

To cross out what I've become

Erase myself,

And let go of what I've done

I had been close to being assassinated by the one person who could have unsterstood me the most. Or at least that's what I thought of Yashamaru. He said he could have not taken to the request but did.

What I've done

I'll face myself

To cross out what I've become

Erase myself

And let go of what I've done

These are the thoughts, life, and feeling of:

Gaara of the Sand

……………………………………………………….

Tan: Pour gaara he was treated so wrong –cries and hugging Gaara-

Gaara: choking. Not breathing

,
Of a thousand lies.