Set after Episode 2x19 – Wrath.

Alex lay awake in her bedroom, staring at the ceiling and mulling over the day's events. She couldn't sleep and glanced at her bedside alarm clock.

It was 4 am.

She let out a groan and headed to the kitchen for a late night/early morning snack. Upon entering the kitchen she froze. She saw a figure on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, that she immediately recognized as Nikita. Alex had so much she wanted, needed to talk to Nikita about – the murder of Sean's mother, where Michael and Nikita stood, Nikita's own being taken hostage and tortured merely hours earlier…

"Are you just going to stand there, Alex? Or are you going to join me?" Alex looked up in shock and noticed that Nikita hadn't even turned around to see her.

"How do you do that?" She gasped, joining Nikita on the couch.

"I'm Nikita." Alex laughed, but it didn't reach her eyes. Nikita's eyebrows furrowed with concern. She placed a comforting hand on Alex's arm and looked her straight in the eyes. "Why are you up so late?" Alex shook her head.

"You first." Normally, Nikita wouldn't have gone along with the subject change, but she was too drained to argue, at this point.

"I couldn't sleep. It's been a long day." She sighed.

"Yeah." Alex agreed, letting out a sigh of her own. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fi-" Nikita stopped talking as Alex cut her off.

"Nikita, it's me. Alex. You know you don't have to pretend with me."

Nikita couldn't help the proud smile that graced her features at Alex's maturity. Her face sobered, though, as she mulled over the real answer to Alex's question. "I'm getting there. I'm definitely close. I'm just having trouble dealing with everything that my time with Brandt resurfaced."

"What'd he do to you?" Alex asked, trying to hide her fear of the answer.

"Electric shocks. You'd be surprised what escapes after 1000 Volts of electricity courses through your body," she laughed bitterly.

Alex blanched. "Nikita, I –"

"At the very least, I'm okay now physically. So don't worry."

"I can't help it. I worry about you all the time. I overheard your conversation with Michael today. I was already home from Senator Pierce's funeral. You can kill me for eavesdropping tomorrow." She added after taking note of Nikita's disapproving stare.

"I most definitely will…"

"Nikita," Alex said sliding closer to her on the couch. "You think that you're a monster? You think that there's evil inside you and that if I or anyone else in this house saw it, we'd hate you?"

"I don't think that there is evil inside me, Alex, and I don't think I'm a monster. I know it."

"You're wrong... Everyone has evil inside of them; it's… it's a part of our human nature. But, you never let yours win. Never, and that is what makes you, you – that is what makes you good."

Nikita grabbed a hold of Alex's shoulders and leaned in close. "Alex, I killed your father, lied to you about it, broke your arm, and shot you in the leg. If anyone should recognize me for what I am, it's you."

Alex maintained eye-contact. "No! You know that if you hadn't killed him, someone else would've and I'd be dead. You also know that I wasn't innocent in the fight that led to you doing what you did. You know all this. Be reasonable."

"I –"

"Plus, I forgave you for all of that a long time ago." Alex shrugged. "You should try it," she winked. Nikita's arms dropped from Alex's shoulders, and the teen pulled her in for a hug. She rested her head on Nikita's shoulder as the woman's arms wrapped around her small frame, almost instinctually.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Alex."

"Me either," Alex smirked. Nikita's arms tensed around her, and in a matter of seconds Alex found herself sprawled out on the floor of the living room. "Was that really necessary?" she deadpanned.

"I thought so." Nikita smirked, as she helped her back on to the couch. They settled into a position that consisted of Alex's head resting under Nikita's arm, which was wrapped securely around Alex's shoulders. "You know, you never answered my question."

"How are you and Michael doing?"

Nikita exhaled noisily. "Michael and I are doing really well, actually. All the craziness we went through today actually brought us closer together strangely enough. I can finally see a solid future for us both...together as a couple."

"That's great, Nikita. You both deserve it. How soon until I get to be an auntie?" Alex laughed as Nikita choked on air at the thought. A few seconds later, Nikita recovered, and peered down at Alex.

"Alex," she stated, firmly, giving her a little shake to emphasize her tone. "Why couldn't you sleep? Don't try to deflect, either, because we're not moving until you tell me."

"It's Sean." She sighed. "I'm worried that I won't be able to help him through his mother's death. I'm worried he's going to do something stupid."

"Alex, considering what you went through with your father's death, you're one of the few people who can truly help him, because you understand it all. My advice is to just be there for him, and don't worry about him doing something stupid. Birkhoff is keeping tabs on him at all times."

"Really?" Alex said, the shock evident in her tone. "Th-thank you. I didn't realize you cared about him enough to do that."

"Well, you clearly do, so I figured 'Why not?'" The blush that appeared on Alex's cheeks told Nikita everything she needed to know.

"It doesn't mean anything," Alex breathed. "Even if I did have feelings for him, it could never develop into anything more."

Nikita looked at Alex questioningly. "What do you mean?"

"I don't exactly have the best track record with guys. I k-killed the first guy I saw a future with, and the broke the second one's heart. I can't put Sean at risk like that. I'm toxic and he deserves better."

"Alex, you can't believe that." As Nikita saw the tears begin to trail down Alex's face she knew the truth. "Alex, you are not toxic. What happened with Thom was an acidden-"

"Don't say it!" Alex jerked out of Nikita's embrace. "It wasn't an accident. It was my fault. I should have told him that I was the mole. He cared about me! He wouldn't have turned me into to Percy or Amanda. I shouldn't have grabbed the gun, I... I could have been more careful!"

"Hey!" Nikita shouted. "Don't go down this road, Alex. I was there, and I saw what happened! It was an accident. You didn't mean to kill Thom. End of story."

Alex shook her head and scooted further down on the couch as Nikita attempted to move closer. "Let's say Thom's death wasn't my fault. What about Nathan? I was selfish and shouldn't have gotten involved with him. You even warned me, and I didn't listen."

"Alex, you're 19 years old. You're still a kid. You can't keep putting all this pressure on yourself. I think saving the world on a daily basis is plenty. You can't expect to be perfect too."

"I… guess."

"You always talk about how I saved your life. How without me you'd be dead or strung out somewhere. Well, what about all that you've done for me?"

"What do you mean?" Alex asked, her curiosity shining through her guilt.

"Alex," Nikita breathed with exasperation. "Alex, you were with me when no one else was. At a time in my life when I had to no one. Your faith in me was what kept me going. I couldn't disappoint you. You're lightheartedness and youth was a much needed breath of fresh air that I didn't even realize I was missing."

Nikita used Alex's momentary shock at her words, to pull the girl into her arms. She squeezed tighter when Alex attempted to break free of her hold, and eventually, Alex gave up her struggling and melted into the embrace.

"Alex?" Nikita questioned a few minutes later, breaking the comfortable silence that had developed. "Alex?" She gently separated the girl from her grasp to find that she had fallen asleep. Nikita soaked in cuteness of the sight of a dreaming Alex and marveled at how innocent the girl looked. She pulled a blanket over her, and exited the room, hoping to get a few hours of sleep in Michael's arms before dawn.

"Good night, Alex."

Author's Note

How good was episode 19 of season 2? I was bouncing up and down the entire time I was watching it! Perfection!