Hello everyone, and welcome to 'Disciple of the Elder God'! Now, I just want to let you know that this is a harem story, and I have already set up the pairings. First of all, SAKURA WILL NOT BE PAIRED WITH NARUTO! Got a fucking problem with that? Well, too bad! This is my story and I will do whatever the fuck I want with it! Next, there will be a lot of Sakura bashing. Third, Naruto will be a badass in this story. And finally, the pairings for Naruto are Hinata, Anko, Ayame, Samui, Kin, Fem. Haku, Yugito, and two other SECRET women. They are not Kushina, Tsunade, or especially SAKURA! Also, Naruto and Sasuke will be bros. NO YAOI EITHER!
Now then, on with the story!
The date was October 10th. The setting, Konohagakure no Sato, the Village Hidden in the Leaves. It was nine years after the attack of the mighty Kyuubi no Kitsune upon the village. The Kyuubi was one of the nine Biju, the most powerful creatures in existence. With a swing of its nine tails, it could topple cities, demolish mountains, and create raging tsunamis. Nine years ago, the Kyuubi had attacked the village, killing many a shinobi. The village's leader, the Yondaime Hokage, Minato Namikaze, and his wife, Kushina Uzumaki, had just had their only child, Naruto Uzumaki, delivered to them on that fateful day, nine years ago. As the Kyuubi descended upon the village, Minato Namikaze was rushing to create a plan to defeat it. Unfortunately, he could only find one solution. He had to seal the Kyuubi into his own child at the cost of his life.
So, Minato took his child from its mother with a somber frown. Upon making his way to the battlefield, he summoned the Shinigami, who sealed the beast into Naruto while taking Minato's soul at the same time. Thus, Naruto Uzumaki became the jinchuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune. Nine years from then, on this very day, Naruto was being chased by a mob which had formed to 'finish what the Yondaime had started' and end the boy's life once and for all, thinking he was the demon itself.
It was this scene that Kami herself was watching with a frown from up in the heavens. The boy had more assassination attempts on him in the first nine years of his life then the first generation of all the Kages put together. As she watched this happen with a sigh, Kami wished that she could do something, but it was not to her jurisdiction. She had to receive permission from the only deity higher than herself.
Opposite to what many people thought, Kami was actually not the highest deity in existence. There was only one above her, and he was the one who had created time, space, and even life itself. This deity was the one who gave permission to every god and goddess for their jobs when they had to do them, and only intervened when he found it necessary. Kami sighed again as she wished she could help the young blonde. Fortunately for her, the chance had arrived.
"Kami-sama, your presence is requested by the High Lord." A meek voice spoke. She turned to see one of the High Lord's angel messengers facing her.
"Tell him I will be there right away." She told the angel. It nodded, and disappeared. Almost immediately after, Kami did so as well.
She reappeared inside a white and gold courtroom which had marble statues of all the deities beside each pillar that held it up.
"Come forth, Kami. I wish to see you." A deep voice rang out. Kami walked through a pair of massive doors, and entered a room where only one individual sat on a throne of pure matter. This was the High Lord, the only deity above herself.
"Yes, High Lord?" She questioned.
"First of all, Kami-chan, I told you to stop calling me High Lord. Just calling me Jinso or Jinso-kun will do." The individual spoke with an annoyed sigh. He knew that Kami did this just to annoy him. Jinso had hair the color of dark chocolate and blue-green-grey eyes that seemed as though they were endless. Whenever he got angry, Jinso's eyes turned a mix of blood red and amber. It was an unusual combo that stunned Kami and yet, turned her on at the same time. His skin had a natural tan to it and despite not having a 'six-pack' or an 'eight-pack', his body was toned and built like an athlete. Despite being as old as time itself, Jinso chose to take the form of a 16-year old boy for some reason. Needless to say, even Kami had to refrain from jumping him.
"Fine, Jinso-kun." Kami replied with a 'rebellious-teenager' sigh.
"Second, I noticed that you were watching the boy named Naruto Uzumaki."
"I was, sir. I just cannot believe how much pain and anguish that boy has gone through, and would do anything to make it better for him." She said. Jinso nodded.
"That is exactly why I have called you here. For the first time in a million years, I am going to show myself to the planet once more."
"But sir, didn't you say you would only intervene if you saw fit?" Kami asked with an audible gasp. Jinso nodded again.
"And I see a big reason to intervene. This boy's suffering has gone on too long. I dare say that he has a heart possibly purer than my own, as he has not turned on those wretched infidels only because there are a few people in the village that are actually precious to him." Jinso stood up out of his chair.
"Come with me, Kami. It is time to set things straight." With that, the two disappeared in a column of light that stretched far into the sky, letting all the angels and good souls know that shit was about to get real.
Down on Earth
Naruto Uzumaki was NOT having a good day. First, he tore his pants on an open nail, causing a hole to rip in the crotch area. Then, he fell in a mud puddle while walking to Ichiraku's. Next, when the boy got to his favorite ramen stand in the whole world, he found out that Ayame-chan was sick, so Teuchi-jiji had to close the stand for a few days and take care of her. Finally, he got chased by an angry mob into the alleyway he was currently in. They each took turns beating him and crushing his little body. Yet he did not cry.
Naruto had learned from an early age that crying only egged the crowd on and thus made the beatings far worse than normal. So he held in all his tears as they pummeled him. They had broken the boy's hands and feet with hammers so he couldn't run away or pull any 'demon tricks'. One drunken villager had bashed him over the head with a sake bottle, causing glass shards to embed themselves in his scalp.
Then some of the mob had taken turns stomping on his frail body and breaking some of his ribs. The last thing they did before preparing to kill him was one took a rusty kunai and carved it deep into his six whisker marks. Then, the leader rose his arm, kunai in hand.
'I guess this is it. See you in the afterlife, Teuchi-jiji, Ayame-chan, Hokage-jiji...' Naruto closed his eyes and prepared for his death. However, he didn't feel any pain.
'What happened? Am I dead?' The little boy opened his eyes to see a chocolate-haired teen standing over him, his tanned hand gripping the arm of the man who was about to kill him.
"W-What are you doing, boy? Step aside so we can kill this demon!" A civilian genin in his forties yelled.
"You mongrels will not lay a hand upon this boy." The teen spoke, authority dripping from his voice. His voice made Naruto shudder in awe. This teen was radiating more power than what the Kyuubi had at full strength, if what he was told in the Academy was true. The whiskered blonde then felt himself being lifted up and pressed against the bosom of a silvered-haired woman.
"Wh-who are you?" He asked her. The woman looked deep into his cerulean orbs and replied,
"My name is Kami, Naruto-kun. Don't worry, they won't hurt you anymore." The blond immediately felt a warm aura surround him and fell asleep, a comforted smile on his face. Kami set him on the ground just as Jinso turned to her.
"Go find the Hokage. I'll deal with them." Kami nodded and ran off in search of the Hokage.
"What's wrong with you? Stop protecting that demon and let us kill it!" Another villager shouted. Jinso turned his gaze back to them.
"That boy is no more a demon than Satan is the ruler of the heavens. You all are the real demons..." Jinso then drew a golden katana from his back. He twirled it around and got into a stance.
"And I'll make sure to send you to hell."
With the Hokage, En Route to Jinso's Location
Hiruzen Sarutobi had just finished his paperwork for the day when he felt an incredible surge of power coming from the middle of the village. He could feel the raw anger inside it spread all over the village.
'Is that the Kyuubi's power?..No...That doesn't have the same amount of bloodlust in it as the Kyuubi's...Oh, Naruto-kun, I hope you're alright...' Hiruzen had called three squads of ANBU to follow him and he donned his battle gear. Then they had begun making their way to the spot where the surge was felt. About halfway there, they were stopped by a silver-haired woman of ethereal beauty.
"Hokage-sama, it's Naruto Uzumaki! I need you to follow me! No time to explain!" The Hokage's eyes widened as he nodded and began following the woman.
What he saw when he arrived shocked him. A chocolate haired teen was standing in the middle of the scene of a massacre, covered in blood, and holding a sword as equally bloody as him. Dead civilians littered the ground. Hiruzen's eyes softened when he saw that Naruto was sleeping on the ground behind the teen with a smile on his face. The teen turned and faced the Hokage.
"Are you the leader of this village?" The teen questioned, authority in his tone. Somehow, it made everyone there get the feeling that they should be on their knees, bowing.
"Yes, I am. And who might you be?" The teen closed his eyes and flicked the blood off of his blade before sheathing it onto his back.
"I will not tell you my name in front of these ANBU of yours, for they have not earned my respect. You have, but they have not. Especially the one known as Inu." The Hokage and all the ANBU looked shocked.
"The only other people in this village that have earned my respect are the young Uzumaki here and the people that truly helped him. The rest may burn for all I care." One of the ANBU, who was wearing a Kame (Turtle) mask suddenly shouted out at him.
"Hey, how dare you speak to the Hokage and us that way! We deserve to know!" The teen turned his head to the ANBU with a growl, his eyes turning a mix of blood red and amber, which frightened everyone but Kami and Naruto, who was sleeping at the time.
"Silence your tongue, mortal, or I shall be quick to cut it off!" He snarled. The teen's eyes then turned back to their natural color.
"Hokage-san, I would like to meet with you in private to discuss the young Uzumaki." The Hokage nodded, and told the ANBU to back off. Kami grabbed Naruto and the four went to the Hokage Tower.
Hokage's Office
"Now, what would you like to discuss..."
"I still cannot tell you my name." Jinso suddenly replied.
"But why not? We are in private right now." Hiruzen looked confused. Jinso got up and walked over to a corner.
"Danzo-san, I know you are listening. And I would just like to say, your end will be soon, along with that of ROOT's." With that, Jinso tore a seal off the wall that had been disguised to look like wallpaper. He also tore off five other listening seals before sitting back down.
"How did you..." Hiruzen was at a loss for words for once in his lifetime.
"I know all, Hiruzen Sarutobi. And my name is Jinso."
"Thank you for telling me that. Also, who is she?" He asked, pointing to the silver-haired woman who was currently holding Naruto to her chest like a protective mother would do. The blonde simply snuggled into her ample bosom.
"She is known to you humans as Kami." The old Sarutobi's eyes nearly bugged out of his skull.
"K-K-K-K-Kami!" He shouted. Hiruzen was glad he put up a silencing seal around the room or else all of Konoha would have heard his shout.
"Yep! That's me!" Kami exclaimed. She then jerked her thumb at Jinso.
"And that's my sempai!" Hiruzen's eyes once more nearly burst from his skull.
"S-S-S-SEMPAI!" His eyes darted back and forth between the two.
"I am indeed Kami's 'sempai', so to speak. My name is indeed Jinso, and only those who I have given permission to are allowed to speak my name, otherwise, they burst into flames and die."
"Jinso-sempai was the one who created time, space, and even life!" Jinso nodded.
"Aside from that, I wish to talk you about Naruto Uzumaki. I have observed his life so far along with Kami, and I am severely disappointed with this village. This boy has endured more pain in his life then all the tortured souls in Hell combined. Thus, he has my respect and admiration."
"Not to be rude, Jinso-sama, but why are you telling me this?" Jinso seemed to smirk for a moment.
"I am telling you this because I wish to give the boy a gift."
"A...gift?" Jinso nodded.
"Not just any gift. I am going to give him what you humans call a 'Kekkei Genkai', among other things."
"A bloodline!"
"Along with that, I will give the boy some other things to help him in his life. But with this, I ask a favor of you." Hiruzen made a mental note to double up on his meds. A GOD was asking him to do a favor for him!
"I wish for you to shape up this village. You have been letting the Civilian Council gain too much sway in the village. In fact, if it were not for the boy having precious people in this village, I would've rained brimstone and fire upon it after only a month! Grow a backbone, Hiruzen Sarutobi! This village is a FUCKING military dictatorship! IT IS NOT A DEMOCRACY! YOU MAKE THE RULES, AND THE VILLAGERS FOLLOW THEM! Now shape up and fix this disgrace to the shinobi name that you call a village!" Jinso roared, pounding his fist on the desk and breaking it into splinters. Unfortunately, this woke Naruto up.
"Where am I? Am I dead?" Naruto asked as he groggily stared at the ceiling.
"You're not dead, Naruto-kun. You're very much alive." Came the voice of the silver-haired woman he met before. He looked up and saw her beautiful smiling face. Suddenly, the little boy's eyes grew very big.
"You...You're Kami!" He exclaimed as he jumped out of her arms. The boy got ready to bow when Jinso stopped him.
"You do not need to bow, my boy. If anything, I should be bowing to you for all that you have endured." The whisker-marked blonde turned to see his chocolate haired savior.
"Who are you? You look a bit young to be killing a bunch of people." Naruto commenting, surprising them with how calm he was, when most kids would've scrambled into the corner of the room after seeing someone massacre a group. Hiruzen got a bit worried as Naruto didn't know that this was an age-old god he was speaking too. Instead, Jinso let out a laugh that sounded like a tower bell ringing.
"My name is Jinso, my whiskered friend. And would you be surprised if I told you that I was actually a god as old as time who created life itself?" Naruto pondered for a moment.
"Well, most people would say that you were bluffing, but seeing as how we're able to make elements out of thin air and that I have a 200 foot tall demon sealed in my gut, I'd say it's a fair chance." That shocked Hiruzen.
"Naruto-kun, you already know about the Kyuubi?" Naruto nodded.
"Hai, jiji. I met Rika-chan a year ago when I fainted during a beating." Hiruzen's mind went blank for about three seconds before he shouted,
"IT'S A SHE!" Jinso then laughed again.
"Of course the Kyuubi is a she! Why are humans so sexist when it comes to beings of great power and always thinking that said beings must be male for some reason?" He replied.
"But other than that, Hokage-san, fix your village or else there will be hell to pay." The Hokage nodded, getting the hidden message. Jinso turned to Naruto.
"Naruto-kun, I wish for you to come with me for a moment. I have a few gifts for you." Naruto started bouncing up and down. Despite being very mature for a nine year-old, he, like every kid, got excited at the mention of presents.
"Gifts? Really?" Jinso nodded. The brown-haired teen turned to Hiruzen.
"I will be back with him in thirty minutes. Please call one of your...what is it called...council meetings, as there is a topic I wish to discuss." Hiruzen nodded.
"I will do that." The elderly Sarutobi got on one knee to speak to Naruto.
"I want you to have fun with Jinso, alright, Naruto-kun?"
"Hai! We're gonna have lots of fun, right Jinso-nii?" Jinso chuckled. Despite being a god, it was good to not have every person address him with an honorific of high authority or demand people respect him.
"Yes, we are, Naruto-kun." Then he, Kami, and Naruto disappeared in a flash.
Jinso's Throne Room, Up in the Heavens
They reappeared inside what looked to be a teen's bedroom. The walls were colored a sandy brown and the ceiling was light grey. There was a plasma-screen TV hanging on the wall, and a Gamecube, Wii, and PS3 were hooked up to it. Facing the TV was a long, black, leather couch that was shaped like a "U". A plain bed was in one corner of the room, and a black, metal desk with shelves was near it, and was covered in papers, pencils, pens, scissors, what appeared to be a Glock 19, and a tanto hung up on the wall.
"Whoa, is this your room, Nii-san?" Jinso grinned.
"Yes, it is, Naruto-kun. This is where I go when I wish to relax or simply play a few video games."
"What's a...video game?" Naruto asked in childish wonder. Jinso led him over to the TV.
"Well, I can't really explain it, in all my infinite wisdom, but how about I show you?" Naruto nodded excitedly. Jinso went over to his Gamecube and started The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Naruto's eyes grew wide in awe. Then Jinso started going around on Epona, firing arrows at Bokoblins and Kargaroks, and then transforming into a wolf, making Naruto let out a 'double-rainbow-guy' style "WHOA!" Then Jinso saved his game and powered down the Gamecube.
"That was awesome, Nii-san! May I try?" Jinso chuckled.
"I would let you, but we have to get back to Konoha for a council meeting, so we don't have the time. I can give you your gifts, however." Jinso walked over to the wall, and pulled the tanto off, making it grow to the length of a standard katana.
"This is my prized blade, Naruto-kun. It can turn into any weapon you desire, and the only limit is your imagination." Naruto took the blade from Jinso with trembling hands.
"Also, I've modified it a little so that you can stick it onto your back and take it off with a mental push. And as an added bonus, you can give a different mental push to make it become a certain element. Go ahead, test it out." Jinso and Kami stepped back and watched Naruto swing the blade around with natural talent. When he was done, Kami said,
"Amazing, Naruto-kun! You're a natural at swordsmanship!" Naruto blushed from the praise.
"Next, I have an even more special gift for you." He put two fingers into his mouth and whistled. Almost immediately, a black blur appeared and landed on top of Naruto, licking his face. It turned out to be a fox kit with three tails.
"This is your own personal companion. She is a three-tailed kitsune, and LOVES pranks. However, she doesn't have a name yet. Would you like to give her one?" Naruto nodded, having stood up and held the kit, who was now asleep, in his arms.
"I'll call her...Megumi, 'cuz you know, it's a blessing that you're giving her to me, Nii-san!" Naruto replied, giving a fox-like smile that made Kami glomp him with a squeal of,
"KAWAII!" The goddess began stroking his whisker marks, making Naruto purr.
"Alright, Kami-chan, enough hugging. I wish to give Naruto his two final gifts." Kami reluctantly got off of the blonde, and Jinso knelt down so he was eye level with Naruto.
"Naruto-kun, what do you know of Kekkei Genkai?" The blonde put a hand up to his chin in a thinking pose.
"Well, I know that Sasuke-teme has one, and everyone fawns over him for it. He also keeps repeating that nothing can beat the Sharingan and that it makes him an elite, above everyone else. Personally, I don't see why it makes him a so-called 'elite'. It just changes his abilities a little, right?"
"Well, you're half right. It does change one's abilities. However, each bloodline is different, and does different things. The Sharingan allows Sasuke-san to copy hand seals for ninjutsu and also lets him see through any genjutsu except for the Mangekyo Sharingan's genjutsu. It also lets him cast genjutsu on a person by looking them in the eye when it's active. Only a person with the Sharingan can break out of a Sharingan genjutsu."
"So it really does make him an 'elite'?"
"Not exactly. See, bloodlines tend to make people like Sasuke a bit arrogant. That just means they'll be a bit overconfident sometimes in battle. However, Sasuke's case is different. He was actually a nice kid before his family was massacred. Then the civilians and the Civilian Council started raising him up on a golden pedestal and essentially put his ego on steroids. Now he probably thinks he can win any fight and that everyone will do what says just because he's an Uchiha." Jinso turned away from Naruto.
"Now, Naruto-kun, if, hypothetically speaking, I were to give you a bloodline, would you become arrogant with it?" Naruto shook his head in a frenzied no.
"No way, Nii-san! I know I can't win every battle, despite having Rika-chan's youki in me, and even then if I were to have a bloodline. I just gotta train harder if I do lose." Jinso gave a satisfied nod.
"Well, good, Naruto-kun, because that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you a bloodline of your own. Now remember, don't become arrogant with it." Naruto nodded.
"Okay, Nii-san, but what does it do?"
"Well, Naruto-kun, your bloodline would essentially allow you to manipulate shadows themselves."
"Like the lazy pineapple-haired people?" Jinso laughed.
"Sort of. See, the Naras manipulate shadows with their own chakra. However, this bloodline will essentially put a bit of shadow energy into your own DNA, causing you to be able to move them around without chakra. You will just have to sense the shadows all around you, and focus on linking your energy with their own. It's a one-time thing, so once you've successfully connected with one shadow, you'll be able to connect any and all the shadows around you at any time."
"SUGOI!" Naruto yelled.
"Now, then, this will hurt a little bit, but it'll be over quickly." Jinso tapped two fingers to Naruto's forehead, and infused a bit of shadow energy in Naruto's genes, altering them a tiny bit to create a new bloodline. The blonde held in a scream as the process shortly ended.
"Now for your last gift." Jinso pulled a large scroll out of thin air.
"Naruto, this is the summoning contract for the dragons. No one before you has signed this, as I was saving it for someone with a heart as pure as I. Now, bite your finger, and sign your name in blood. Then put a handprint of blood next to your name." Naruto did as he was told, and his name glowed when he finished.
"Now, when you summon the boss dragon, Bahamut, you must not be afraid. Dragons are the living embodiment of courage, and to pass his test, you must stand up to him. Otherwise, he will try to kill you with fire. Lots of fire. Understand?" Naruto nodded, a little bit worried.
"Well, now that that's out of the way, what do you say we go visit the Hokage again?" The blonde smiled at that. Jinso called forth a dragon summon and helped Naruto onto its back. The three then soared down to Konoha, with Naruto cheering the entire way.
Council Room
"What is the holdup, Hokage-sama? I got out of bed at eleven o' clock and would like to get back to sleep!" A fat blob of a civilian councilman said with a yawn. Hiruzen grew a pulsing vein on his head.
"I'm sure our last two remaining people will be here in a minute..." He said, grinding his teeth.
"If you don't mind my asking, Hokage-sama, why are we still waiting? All the council members are present. It would be illogical to continue waiting." Shibi stated, fixing his glasses.
"Well—" Hiruzen was interrupted by Naruto's cry of,
"WOOHOOO!"
CRASH!
A large red dragon crashed through the ceiling and its passengers fell onto the floor. The first of the two to get up was a chocolate-haired teen with blue-green
"Akira, I told you to land on the roof, not go through the roof." Jinso's voice said. The dragon merely replied,
"Sorry about that. The gaki over there kept tugging at my ear, and I lost my balance." With that, the dragon known as Akira reverse summoned itself.
"Well, it seems as if our two guests have arrived after all. Did you have fun, Naruto-kun?" The council members looked to see Naruto standing beside a chocolate-haired teen with blue-green-grey eyes.
"Considering I got to ride a dragon and crash it through a building, what do you think jiji?" Naruto asked with a 'you're-damn-right-I-did' look.
"You better have had fun, 'cuz I'm probably gonna get yelled for destroying the roof of this building." Jinso berated. He then looked to see the entire council, both Civilian and Shinobi, staring at him. The brunette simply decided to pull a Kakashi.
"Yo." He said, putting his hand up lazily with two fingers forming a V, and even forming a weird eye smile with both eyes. The result?
All the Civilian and Shinobi Council members face-faulted except for Hiruzen.
"YO! YOU DESTROY THE ROOF OF THIS BUILDING, AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS YO!" A pink haired banshee in need of anger management classes shrieked. Naruto had to cover Megumi's ears to protect the kit from permanent brain damage. Jinso grabbed the hilt of his sword, and barely drew it out of its sheath. A flash of light signaled that he had moved it, as well as the chink of the hilt connecting with the sheath. He pointed above the Civilian Council members.
"Please read that message on the wall, as it states my only rule." All the Council members looked up to see four words sliced into the wall with perfect calligraphy.
DON'T FUCK WITH ME
"Got it?" He asked, making his voice sound a bit more demonic.
"Now, J-san, I believe you had something you wish to discuss." Hiruzen drew their attention back to the meeting. Jinso nodded.
"You're damn right I do." He replied, shocking everyone.
"I have seen the nine years of this boy's life, and it infuriated me that most of this village would stoop so low as to harm a child. He has had more assassination attempts in the first nine years of his life than most of the numerous Kages ever had in all their careers combined! I have had enough of you people! From now on, this child is under my protection. If anyone tries to harm him..." Jinso snapped his fingers, and a training dummy appeared. He grasped the handle of his katana and another flash of light signified that he had moved it. Upon the click of hilt meeting sheath, the training dummy exploded in a shower of weighted sand.
"Get the picture?" Most of them were shocked. They had barely seen the teen move, and yet, he perfectly performed an Iaido strike twice in a row. However, one moronic blob of a Civilian Councilor decided to pipe up.
"How dare you threaten the Council! We could have you executed publicly!" Jinso then began laughing wildly, almost as if mocking him.
"The only way that could happen is if I lived in this village! This place is not my home, you moronic pile of horse shit!" The god replied.
"And if you pathetic little weaklings on the Civilian Council ever threaten me, Naruto-kun, or this woman over here..." Jinso let out a blast of KI so great that most of the Civilian Council pissed and shit their pants, and then fainted. The ones who didn't were the ones who had retired from the shinobi business, and somehow, the only ones on the Civilian side of the Council left standing were all people who liked Naruto and helped him. The Shinobi Council members were having a hard time breathing, as it felt like the air was being stolen from their lungs. Even Hiruzen, the Kami no Shinobi was feeling light-headed. Jinso then stopped the flow of KI, and turned to the Shinobi Council.
"Sorry about that. All the morons in the Civilian Council just really annoyed me." Most of them were shocked once more. He could produce that much KI when he was merely annoyed!
"And I know that you're thinking that it's unreal for someone to produce that much KI when they're only annoyed. Let's just say...If I were pissed off...At least half of this village would be six feet under from my anger alone." He then sheepishly rubbed the back of his head with a goofy smile.
THUMP!
Inoichi had just fainted.
"Then, why don't you stay in this village? Logic dictates that if you cared about Naruto Uzumaki, you would stay with him to ensure his safety." Shibi asked. Jinso gave a mischievous grin.
"I never said I wasn't staying in the village, now did I?" He turned to the Hokage.
"Hokage-san, could I simply spar with a jonin to see my placement?" Hiruzen nodded.
"I'll have you and one of our jonin spar tomorrow morning, seeing as you are obviously above genin and chunin level." Jinso nodded.
"Will do. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go to sleep." With that, he, Kami, and Naruto all left the Council room. Silence followed for about three minutes before Shikaku said,
"This is too damn troublesome..."
With the Trio
"So, Naruto, do you want to stay at your apartment for the night? I could probably find us a house to stay in." Naruto nodded.
"Yeah. I don't really have the money to rent a new apartment, plus, people raise the price by 3 times the original amount whenever I try to buy." Kami held Naruto closer to her as people began glaring at the blonde and Jinso, while giving lecherous looks to Kami. Jinso then cast a no seals genjutsu around them so people would only see Maito Gai walking with Lee while both were in speedos. Needless to say, screams of horror filled the air while Jinso chuckled mischievously.
The Next Morning
Naruto got up to see Kami cooking something while Jinso sat at his table with a cup of coffee.
"Morning, little bro. Hope you slept well." The god told him.
"Yeah, I did, Nii-san. Better than I've slept in a long time."
"Lucky for you, you got up just in time for breakfast!" Kami said happily as she set a plate of bacon, eggs, pancakes, and orange juice down for the boy. The blonde quickly wolfed down his food before checking the clock.
"Aw, crap! I'm gonna be late for class!" He exclaimed. Jinso set the newspaper he had been reading down.
"Not a problem, little bro." The brunette put a hand on Naruto's shoulder and warped the boy to right in front of the Academy, surprising many of had been around them.
"Whoa, that was so cool, Nii-san!" The blonde exclaimed. Jinso nodded, but not before noticing the glares directed at the blonde.
"Now remember, don't take shit from anybody, and give 'em hell, squirt!" Naruto scowled at him.
"Stop calling me a squirt!"
"I'll stop calling you a squirt when you actually get to my height. Ja Ne!" Jinso immediately warped out, leaving Naruto to walk into the Academy. The blonde had recently gotten a change of clothes, and Jinso had burned the orange jumpsuit that rivaled Maito Gai's Spandex of Youth™ and all the other sets of it that Naruto had. He was now wearing a white hakama with gold trimmings over a black kimono that had silver trimmings. The kimono had the kanji for kitsune on it. The tanto that Jinso had given him was stuck to his back in the form of a ninjato. Underneath, Naruto was wearing the same type of sandals that Jiraiya of the Sannin wore. The outfit only accentuated his whiskers marks.
Also, in addition to his bloodline, Jinso had made Naruto taller and fit like himself. He was built like an athlete, and had a natural tan. Naruto had lost all baby fat, and had become what Jinso described was a 'lady killer', whatever the hell that was. Deciding to make a cool entrance, Naruto powered chakra to his foot and kicked the door in, sending it flying against the opposite wall. This gained the attention of everyone in the classroom. As Naruto walked in, he gained lustful stares from almost every girl in the classroom, who apparently didn't know who he was.
"Are you a new student here?" Kiba Inuzuka asked. Despite his interest in the new person, he still wondered where Naruto was. It had been a couple of days since anyone had last seen the blonde. The two became friends after Naruto had helped Kiba get Akamaru to the vet for rabies shots.
"C'mon, dog breath, don't you recognize me-ttebayo?" The eyes of every person in the room bulged.
"N-Naruto!" Upon that realization, one Hyuuga heiress in the back of the room gained a mean nosebleed and fainted.
"'Course it's me! Who the hell'd you think I was, the Shodaime?" The blonde remarked casually. He simply began making his way to the back of the room to hang out with Hinata, the girl he actually loved, when he was stopped by a UPFO, an Unidentified Pink Flat-chested Object.
"Naruto-baka, stop trying to show up Sasuke-kun!" The pink haired bi-err, girl known as Sakura Haruno shrieked. She then raised her fist and tried to punch the blonde.
THUMP!
Her fist was caught directly in the blonde's palm while his sword was at her neck.
"Sakura-san, if you try to punch me again, I will not only not hesitate to break the hand you attempt with, but I might also do some more damage." He told her, squeezing it for emphasis while taking his sword away from her neck. The girl began to immediately cry like a pussy. He then made his way to the back of the room and sat next to Hinata, who had regained consciousness.
"Yo, Hinata-chan. What's up?" He asked happily.
"N-N-N-N-Nothing m-m-much N-N-Naruto-kun." The Hyuuga heiress stuttered.
'Naruto-kun probably noticed that I'm stuttering, and now he must think I'm weak...' The girl suddenly began to think. Her father had been strict in her training, but on the inside, he wished he would be able to show her kindness. However, the Hyuuga elders said that if she remained weak, they would give her the Caged Bird Seal and put her in the Branch family. Hinata was so deep in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed Naruto putting his face closer to hers.
"You know, Hinata-chan..." That broke her out of her thoughts to see his face right in front of hers.
"That blush of yours makes you look so damn adorable..." That made the girl let out an "Eep!" and tried to hide inside her coat.
'Naruto-kun said I was adorable! Eeeeep! Now I just gotta kidnap him...take him away...and then...' Hinata's thoughts began trailing down a 'different' path as blood dripped from her nose. Naruto was busy watching Hinata, and didn't notice Sasuke come up to him.
"Hey, Naruto, where'd you get the sword?" Sasuke asked in actual interest as he sat down beside the blonde. You see, he used to be a douche. But then Jinso suddenly appeared and showed him just what would happen if he went down the path of an Avenger. That changed Sasuke.
"It was a gift from my Nii-san. You like it?"
"Yeah, it looks pretty cool." They were both interrupted by a shriek from Sakura.
"Naruto-baka, stop trying to be cool! Everyone knows that you're just a worthless orphan who's unworthy of being loved and has no family! Your mother was probably a street whore who got pregnant off your dad and died from an STD while he left and never came back!" Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at Naruto, who seemed calm. Too calm. Sasuke facepalmed. Why did Kami have to curse him with these horrid fangirls? The Uchiha looked to his right to see Naruto with a blank expression.
'Shit, he must be really mad to not show any emotion.'
'Must refrain from killing. Must refrain from carving her guts out and selling them to a butcher shop.' The blonde raged inside his head.
"Naruto-kun, I say screw the rules and just kill the girl now." Rika told him from his mindscape. He was about to do it when Jinso's voice appeared in his head.
"Hey, little bro, guess what? They decided that even though I'm way above jonin level, I'm a chunin and just need experience to be promoted. I'm also teaching your class with Iruka! Isn't that sweet?"
'Kind of in a tough situation, Nii-san. I'm trying not to kill Sakura Whoruno 'cuz she said my Kaa-san was probably a street whore and that I'm just a bastard child.'
"...Hang on, kid. I'm about to enter in 3...2...1..." A brown blur somersaulted in through the window and landed on top of the teacher's desk right as Iruka walked in, nearly giving the scarred chunin a heart-attack.
"Listen up, brats! My name is Keiji Uzumaki, also known as the brother of Naruto Uzumaki! You are to refer to me as Keiji-sensei or Uzumaki-sensei! Now, I only got three rules, so pay attention! First rule, I will curse all I want, and I don't give a damn who says otherwise! Rule two, any disobedience will be dealt with immediately and with more than a slap on the wrist! And rule three, if anyone harasses my bro, there will be punishment! Better whip out your notebooks kiddies! School's now in session!" Jinso shouted. Iruka had recovered from his pseudo heart attack, and turned to the class.
"Well, it seems the introductions are over. Now then—" Iruka was interrupted by a shriek from Sakura.
"You! You threatened my mother yesterday!" She yelled, pointing at Jinso.
"She annoyed me. I responded. End of story. Now pay attention to Iruka-sensei!" He replied with a twitching eyebrow. Iruka coughed.
"Thank you, Keiji-sensei. Now then, before we start, are there any questions for Keiji-sensei?" Chouji Akimichi raised his hand.
"Yeah, how are you a teacher? You don't look old enough to be one." The boy asked. Jinso nodded.
"Good question. Technically, you don't have to just be a certain age to be a teacher. You really just have to be a chunin." Shikamaru Nara raised his hand.
"You, pineapple head."
"As a follow-up to Chouji's question, how are you a chunin?" Jinso chuckled.
"This is how..." Jinso faced the wall, and grasped the handle of his sword. Everyone immediately focused on him. A flash of light signaled movement, and before they knew it, they already heard the click of Jinso resheathing his sword. Parts of the wall fell off to reveal a short sentence.
FIELD PROMOTION, BITCH.
Jinso turned back to the class.
"That answer your question?" Shikamaru just put his head on the desk, mumbling about 'troublesome blondes and their crazy brothers'.
"Now then, if there are no more questions, let's begin the lesson." Jinso said with a crazy smile.
And that ends the first chapter of Disciple of the Elder God! Tune in next time, and don't forget to review!
~Jinso-kun