Hi all! So I'm back again. Those who have followed this story before know this, but just to recap. I have written this story before, and got in 7 chapters. However, while I was writing this I was going through my final year at school. Now I have taken my final exams, I wanted to fix up the story, as it was good but I knew I could make it better. So I'm re editing and re uploading it. Here's the deal. One chapter every day for seven days until all the chapters are re uploaded, then one every two days until the story's completion. Once again I apologse for any inconvienence to my long time readers who have inspired me to take this from an original one shot based off a song into an entire story. Thank you all so much!

Ziva absentmindedly gazed out the large glass window near her desk, becoming entranced by the sound of heavy rain falling steadily outside. Usually she was a very efficient woman, flowing through the paperwork she despised, but today she could not keep her mind on the job.

Her eyes unfocussed as she considered all that had happened to her in the past few years. She had changed. That had to be said. But not in all ways; she had broken up with Ray after all. That trust of loving someone doesn't come back easily, if she'd ever had it to begin with.

Tony. She thought. If she had some kind of strength she would have told him how she felt years ago. And now it was too late... EJ. The name came to her with disgust. Tony would violate Gibbs' rules for her, but not the woman he had risked his life for; crossed oceans for; and "couldn't live without" to quote Tony himself.

Not for Ziva.

Maybe it wasn't only her that had become weak. Both of them knew what they meant to each other, but neither could bring themselves to take that final leap of faith.

"Penny for your thoughts?" A smooth voice interrupted her feeling-sorry-for-herself moment. She glanced away from the window. Tony's clam honeydew eyes stared directly into Ziva's warm caramel pair, sending a silent message of concern to her. He leant on her desk, his face resting in the palm of his hand.

Hurriedly, Ziva's mind raced to find another topic, other than her apparent dislike of EJ and love of Tony. "Uhhh... Why are my thoughts only worth a penny?"

"Ziva, it's just a saying. But you're right. I'd pay a thousand dollars just to hear one of yours." He said sincerely.

"Um- I can- uh- tell you my thoughts on the case for free..." She stuttered, thrown by his intense intimate stare.

"Alright, shoot." He relented.

"Tony, could I speak to you regarding the Port to Port killer case please?" EJ's eyes were a mixture of fire and ice, as her blonde head appeared over the cubicle wall.

"Uh, of course Special Agent Barrett. I'll be right back Ziva, hold those thoughts."

She nodded curtly; the game was no fun anymore. Once the two had left the bullpen, she walked over to the cold glass that had helped her to ponder this very situation moments ago and rested her head against it. She watched the raindrops patter against the glass. One small tear travelled down her cheek, much the same as the raindrops on the other side of the glass, before she wiped it away and returned to business.

Gibbs strode in, Starbucks coffee in hand. "Whaddiya got Ziver?"

Life goes on. They were forced to walk away from each other, time and time again, because of the lack of communication. She looked up at Gibbs and resumed her job.

"You love her." EJ's quiet voice bounced off the shower room walls, the statement seemed obvious to her.

"What?" Tony was taken aback.

"You love her. Ziva." She repeated, stronger this time. He opened his mouth. "No, please, don't bother." She sighed.

"It's obvious to the whole god damn NCIS. I don't know if you or she sees it yet, but one day you both will." She took a breath. "Tony, we can't keep doing this. It's fun, but it's not love. You know it, and I know it. We both deserve to find love, and yours is staring at you in the face every day."

"Does that mean-"

"Yes, Tony. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. Really. But I do want you to remember, I do care about you EJ."

She nodded and embraced him, then walked away. Tony felt empty. EJ was right. But that didn't make it any easier. He loved Ziva, but she didn't love him. He risked his life for her; crossed oceans for her, and definitely couldn't live without her. And then she chose CIRay.

Lifting him out of his melancholy state was the intrudingly loud ring of his phone.

"DiNozzo."

"Gear up. Need you to come to Quantico, DiNozzo."

"On your six boss." He snapped his phone shut and sighed, biting his lip in thought.

Life goes on. So does the job.