Beta: Manhattans Sowrite

Pre-reader: angmclure

Brain plasticity is what shapes our brain to act the way we do. I wasn't always a bitter person. I once was a happy little naive girl thinking the world consisted of rainbows and sunshine. One bad choice, that's all it took to flip my world as I knew it forever.

I looked at the rain pelting my window and sighed. I've been living in Forks with my father for the past couple of years; before that it was Arizona with my mother. Everyone used to ask me why I would live here instead of back home. Everything was different between the two places. Where Arizona had the sun, Forks had the rain. Arizona's a large open desert, Forks was a small town surrounded by trees. Forks held my father, but Arizona held my heart.

It will always hold my heart. Why? He's down there.

Unfortunately for many months, I have not visited my mother. With the school year almost over and graduation up ahead, I couldn't help but have an extra bounce in my step. My life was already planned out. Once I graduate, I plan to go to either Yale or Dartmouth. I would have to get a two bedroom apartment, but that's the least of my worries. As long as I get my heart back, that's all that matters.

After rummaging through my closet, I finally decide on today's outfit. Once the black skinny jeans and Korn t-shirt were on, I went to the bathroom to do my morning routine. With my teeth brushed and my hair in a messy bun, I grabbed my sex bracelets and put on some nude lip gloss. I wasn't popular at Forks high since most people feared me and my friends. We were in a gang. I know it seems ridiculous since the Forks population was 2,100, but one would be surprised how many drugs can be pushed here.

The only people who cause us trouble are the boys in La Push. They started their gang around the same time we did and had more land to grow pot without the police getting involved. One of the bonuses to being on a reservation, I suppose. This lead us to start pushing the harder stuff like cocaine and meth. I knew that once I was out of Forks, I would leave the gang. It was just easy money for me at the moment. I've tried to get a job like everyone else, but there was nothing available. I needed money.

I have two best friends, Alice Cullen and Rosalie Hale.

Alice stands at 4'10" on a good day, but don't let the height fool you. She throws one of the best right hooks I've ever seen. She has green eyes and a killer black hairdo. The short spiky hair suits her well, not many people could pull it off. She has a very bubbly personality. There are only a few things I can't stand about her, the first being she is a morning other would be that she's a shopaholic, and I hate shopping.

Rose is the complete opposite of Alice. She's tall at 5'9" and she has a set of legs that goes on for miles. Her hair is blonde, and she has piercing blue eyes. Her curves put mine and Alice's to shame, they were all in the right places. Where Alice's personality is bubbly, Rose is cold and distant. Emmett McCarty is Rose's boyfriend. Some think he takes steroids since he is ridiculously huge, Arnold's 'the beach is that way' huge. He has short brown hair and gray eyes. He's also the leader of our gang since everyone is scared of him. What few people know is that he's harmless.

Jasper Hale is Rose's twin. He's 6'1" with shaggy blonde hair and the same eyes as Rose. His personality is mellow, and he likes to keep to himself. Alice is his better half and likes to know everything about anything, so they even each other out.

As for me, I'm a plain Jane. I stand at 5'3" with brown eyes and dark brown shoulder-length hair. I'm skinny and was a late bloomer, so one could say I'm still 'growing' into a shape.

Edward would be the last person from our gang. He's 6'2" with brownish, red hair that sticks out in every direction. He has the oddest shade of green eyes I've even seen. They were almost too green, if one would believe it. He knows the affect he has on woman and takes full advantage of it. We rarely see eye-to-eye, so I avoid him as much as I can.

In the night, I hear him talk , the coldest story ever told . Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless.

Leave it up to Alice to pull me out of my daydream.

"Hi, Pixie Bitch."

"Hey B, I'll be there in about ten," she chirped.

"Okay, I'll be outside."

I hung up my phone and sighed. Time for school. I walked downstairs, grabbed myself a muffin and my backpack then made my way outside.

Once outside, I noticed it stopped raining. This was good since I completely forgot to grab my jacket. My eyes flickered to the back of the house where Big Red was parked. My truck finally decided to take its last run a couple weeks ago, so that's why I was carpooling with Alice now. Her yellow Porsche turned in my driveway just then, and I gave the truck one last lingering look.

"Good morning sunshine," Alice said in her bubbly voice.

"Yea, hi," I said not so cheerfully.

"Jeez Bella, way to kill my mood."

I smiled at her comment. "You know how I do."

She stuck her tongue out at me, and we both laughed.

All too soon, the familiar landscape of Forks High came into view. Alice parked in her usual spot, next to Edward's Volvo. We walked up to where the gang hung out, and Alice gave Jasper a peck before standing beside him. Rose and Emmett were in a heated discussion, and Edward was playing tonsil hockey with one of his conquests.

Em spotted me and his whole face lit up, dimples and all. He walked up to me and enveloped me in one of his bone-crushing hugs.

"Morning, Sis."

"Can't breath," I said between gasps.

"Sorry, squirt," he said, ruffling my hair.

I walked up to Jasper and Rose, giving them a fist bump. I wasn't one for hugs normally, but you just couldn't say no to Em or Alice. I glanced at Edward and noticed his tongue was still down the girl's throat. We gave him a couple more minutes, and he still wasn't letting go of the girl. I cleared my throat, and he cocked an eyebrow at me, sending Lauren off.

"Was that really necessary? Can't you see I was rather enjoying myself?"

I tried hard to not roll my eyes, but failed miserably. "Maybe you should be thanking me Cullen. Everyone knows Lauren has been around town and then some." I cleared my throat. "Anyways, we have to go over tonight's plans."

We were doing a B&E tonight; this time our target was Newton's Outfitters. Mike Newton never got his karma for slipping a pill in my drink last year, so I figured it was time to get him back. I shuddered at the thought of what almost happened, even then he couldn't get in my pants. That was all thanks to Emmett. He found us when Mike was trying to undo my pants. I have no idea what he did to him, but the next time I saw him, he had some nice bruises on his face and had trouble walking.

"Bella, we've been through this five times already," Rose said, clearly annoyed.

"I know.."

Now I see the times they change, leaving doesn't seem so strange, I am hoping I can find, Where to leave my hurt behind.

I looked at my phone confused as to why my mother was calling me this early in the morning.

"Be right back guys, I need to take this."

Everyone shook their heads, and Edward started to protest. I flipped him the bird and walked off. Once I was a safe distance away from anyone, I took a deep breath and answered.

"Hey, Mom. Why you calling so early? Is he okay?"

"Yes, honey. Damien's fine. I just wanted to let you know that you got a letter in the mail. It's from the courts."

I groaned, that meant it had to do with James.

"What did it say?"

"He wants to be released on parole, and you have court next Tuesday here in Arizona. He's also trying to get visitation rights for Damien."

"Over my dead fucking body!" I barked. Em and Alice were looking at me confused, they knew that ringtone was for my mother. This is going to cause questions I can't answer.

"Bella, don't swear. It's not ladylike. Anyways, you're going to have to come here this weekend instead of the next one. You're also going to have to miss some school. I'll call your dad and let him know what's going on after I put Damien down for a nap. I'm sorry Bella, it's not fair that you have to go through this," my mom sobbed, as she was clearly crying at this point.

"Mom it's okay, the worst is done now. As long as no one is in danger, I'm not worried about it. I have to go to class. I'll call you after school, I promise. Love you. Bye."

"Love you too," my mother cooed.

I heard the faint voice of my angel in the background. "Love you, mama."

"Tell Damien I love him and miss him, and that I'll see him this weekend."

Alice started to walk towards me.

"Bye mom," I hung up.

"Why were you yelling at your mom?" Alice said, cocking an eyebrow.

"Oh nothing, I have to go down there this weekend. Family emergency," I said air-quoting the last part.

We started walking back to the group when Alice froze. "Wait, that means you won't be at my party this weekend!"

Oh yeah, fuck! It's Alice's and Edward's birthday this weekend.

"Fuck, I'm sorry Al. I really have to go. You know I wouldn't purposely miss your birthday."

She hugged me saying that she understood, but she was still hurt. What the hell am I going to do with myself? I don't want to see James again, not after what he did to me four years ago.

James is the father of my son Damien. Damien is three years old. That's why I'm in Forks. James raped me, took my virginity, and I got pregnant. He found out that I was pregnant after I had Damien. He came after me one night when I went to the store to get more formula. I'll never forget that night.

I was walking to the store to get Damien some formula as Mom watched him. Once I paid, I started to walk back to the house. I decided to cut through an alley since I wanted to get back to Damien quickly. Looking behind me I noticed It was a bad mistake. There he was. There was James.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? Isabella, you've been a bad little girl. Did you honestly think you could hide my own flesh and blood from me?" he asked with a smirk. I was frozen in place. I didn't know what to do. I was 14, and only a child.

"What...what do you want James?" I asked, so scared I almost peed myself. I hope he doesn't rape me again.

He chuckled and whipped out a knife. As soon as I spotted the knife, I screamed and attempted to run. I suddenly felt a hand go over my mouth and a stringing feeling in my back. I started feeling dizzy as James let go of me. I fell to the ground unable to move. Then he left. James left me for dead.

He was 18 at the time. He also wasn't very smart. Once he was gone for about five minutes, I tried to get up. I couldn't, and the pain in my back was excruciating. I reached in my pocket for my cell phone and called my mom. After hearing her freak for a couple minutes, she called the cops. Just when I thought everything would be okay, James came back. I guess he knew I wasn't dead. One could always hope though, right?

"Hello again, Isabella. Now, why don't we pick up where we left off?"

I screamed. I knew he was going to rape me again. My worst fears where happening. Then, I heard the police sirens. I prayed that they would reach me in time.

"What the fuck, Swan?" Startled, my hand instinctively went out and connected with the persons face.

"God damn, mother fucking bitch! I think you broke my nose," Edward barked.

What do you want me to do? I was lost in thought.

"Shit, Cullen. Oops," I said with a smile on my face.

"Why the hell did you punch me?"

"I was in a daze, you retard. You should know not to startle someone out of them," I said, rolling my eyes.

Emmett boomed out in laughter, and everyone else soon joined in. Everyone except Alice; she looked at me with a worried expression. Shit, that pixie does not miss a thing. How am I going to lie myself out of this one? No one here knew about James or Damien. It would just complicate things.

"Well, I hope you're happy," Edward said, his voice leaking with venom. I giggled.

"I am. You have no idea how long I've waited to do that."

He looked at me, shocked. "What the hell did I ever do to you?" he shouted. Here we go with another screaming match.

"What did you do to me? Cullen, you have to be the dumbest person I've ever met. Don't think I don't hear the shit you say about me to your little sluts."

Edward Muthafucking Cullen just stiffened.

Bella 1, Edward 0.

"Whatever," and he stormed off. Emmett came and gave me a high five.

"Bella, you're my hero. You're the only one that puts him in his place."

"Yeah, that's because he's into her," Rose said.

I snorted, and she turned around with one eyebrow arched.

"Bella, you clearly don't see yourself for what you are. You have Edward wrapped around your little finger. The boy is crazy about you. Why do you think he was mad when Alice told him you weren't going to be at the party?"

My face was blank. Is that why he was upset? I shook my head. It didn't make sense; it had to be something more. The Edward I know would be ecstatic that I wasn't coming. We were like fire and ice - we don't mix.

"Whatever, Rose. Let's go to class because I don't want to be late and have another detention."

Alice pulled me aside. "Bella, I know something is wrong. I'm not stupid! You better tell me after school or I'm going to be mad," she whispered yelled before heading in the direction of her class.

Oh boy, tonight's going to be an interesting night.

Next update in a week.