[Since the moment I spotted you, like walking around with little wings on my shoes. My stomachs filled with the butterflies.]
I stared at the red haired girl staring up at me with emerald eyes, the other girl had ran off as if I was trying to scare her, but I wasn't doing anything, I just emerged from my hiding spot when I spotted one of the girls preforming magic, which meant she was a witch, like I was a wizard. The girl smiled up at me and I felt my face heating up into a blush. I lifted my hand and summoning the flower from her hand into mine, giving her a smile "I'm Severus."
She giggled, blinking those jaded eyes at me. "Lily."
[Ooh and it's all right, bouncing round from cloud to cloud. I'd got the feeling like I'm never gonna come down, if I'd said I didn't like it then you'd know I lied.]
I never had a friend before you. I was strange as others would say, or my Father would tell me I didn't deserve friends. You were different, you accepted me, you laughed at my jokes as I did yours, and you're the first person shy of my Mother to make me smile. When I'm around you I'm happy, and time flies. It's like I'm flying, and only you can make me feel that way. That summer was the greatest summer of my life, and I was so glad when you had told me you received a letter to Hogwarts just as I did, I was on an ultimate high and never coming down.
[Every time I try to talk to you, I get tongue-tied. It turns out that everything I say to you comes out wrong and never comes out right.]
I don't speak much, you don't like that, but I listen; I love to listen, Lily. You tell me about your family, and your awful sister who calls you a freak out of jealousy. I got you saying that, that she was jealous, because she was, every girl in the world should be jealous of you, Lily, you're perfection. The rare times I do speak, I can hardly mutter a word without stuttering. You giggle at that, and it makes me turn as red as a red-beet. Do you remember that day, the first day on the train to Hogwarts? Your family had given me a ride as my Mother and Father were too /busy/ to take me. When we got into the compartment and you placed your hand on mine, asking if I was excited. "O-of… ye-… of course, um, yes, Lily, very excited." I stuttered like an idiot, grinning from ear to ear. You just giggled and rolled your eyes at me.
[So I'll say why, don't you and I get together and take on the world and be together forever. Heads we will, tails we'll try again.]
By third year I knew with every fiber in my body I was in love with you. Did you know I actually had in a notebook of mine "Lily Snape" written on the very last page, as well as an enchanted drawing of us sitting by a tree together? We were smiling and enjoying the view of the lake. I loved to draw; I never showed you any of my drawings because they were embarrassing. Drawing isn't for guys, as I've been told by my Father. You hated my Father, always told me to ignore him; he didn't know what he was talking about when he called me useless. I love you, Lily; I had to write it again. Did you know I was going to ask you out Hogsmeade weekend? Our very first Hogsmeade weekend? Of course I didn't, I had heard you turned down Potter, which made me feel as though I had no shot, I couldn't get the guts up to you ask. If I had a time machine, I would go back and kick my arse for that, for hitting tails.
[So I'll say why, don't you and I hold each other and fly to the moon and straight onto Heaven, 'cause without you they're never gonna let me in.]
Do you remember that summer after third year? I stayed many nights at your house, your Father letting me sleep on the couch just because I didn't want to go home. You knew I never got sleep when I went home, you knew what they did to me, and only you. Why? Because I trusted you, more than anyone in my life, even more so than my Mother, I didn't know that was possible, but you do things that aren't normally possible, which is why you're special, which is why I love you. You're perfect, in every possible way. You're always there for me. Like when I did have to go home, I would lay in my bed at night, listening to them fight downstairs, knowing it was all my fault, on the verge of tears when I heard a knock on my window and I glanced over to see you in your pajamas smiling and ushering me to the open it. After I opened it, what did you do? You climbed in, hugged me, then got under my covers and cooed me to sleep. You did that many nights, and you've no idea how much it helped me.
[When's this fever going to break? I think I've handled more than any man can take. I'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around.]
I was your best friend, you trusted me with everything, even details you wouldn't trust your best 'girl'-friends with. As I read my Potions book during school under our tree, the one right next to the Lake, you would tell me about all your problems, if you had any; Boy problems, school problems, you'd even complain about Potter. I would never comment, I think just listening helped you. We were in our fifth year when people began calling me a puppy that followed you around. I never understood that, but that I look back, I do, I was, a love-sick puppy that is. I would walk you to your classes, even if they made me late for my own, I would follow you to the Gryffindor table until you took your seat at meals then go to my own table, I would walk you to your common-room no matter the time of day before going to my own. I couldn't help it; I wanted to be with you for as many minutes of the day as I possibly could.
[Ooh and it's all right, bouncing round from cloud to cloud. I'd got the feeling like I'm never gonna come down, if I'd said I didn't like it then you'd know I lied.]
I got teased on a lot by the Slytherins. They all called me a 'Mudblood-lover', I gladly accepted the title, not the fact that you're a Mudblood, I would never call you that, you're not, if anyone has the right to have magic in the entire school, it was you, Lily. But I did love you. Every time I was around you; you would make everything okay, no matter what pranks I had endured that day or embarrassment, and you would sneak up on me when I was alone and hug me. I lived for those hugs, Lily. You would make me feel like I was top of the world, and no one else mattered but you and I.
[Every time I try to talk to you, I get tongue-tied. It turns out that everything I say to you comes out wrong and never comes out right.]
Then in our sixth year, you did something I never expected. It was before the day Potter had embarrassed me in front of the whole school, I was hiding in an empty classroom, because my potion had exploded, thanks to Black and Potter, and everything I had on, including my skin was hot pink. I couldn't go to the Slytherin common-room; they'd make fun of me more than the rest of the houses combined. I decided to hide myself away until the potion wore off, which I figured was seven hours at least. I was sitting against the wall with my knees pulled to my chest when I heard the door open and a mop of red hair enter. I looked up at you and thought I would die of embarrassed when you looked down at me, widening your eyes just a bit and smiling. I thought you would laugh aloud and make fun of me, I don't know why I did, and that was an idiotic thing to think. Instead, you took a seat next to me and pulled me into a hug, and then kissed my cheek, telling me it was okay and you'd wait with me until it wore off, keeping me occupied by talking to me about our classes and things. I didn't speak at all that day because the moment your lips touched my cheek, I had swallowed my tongue, and I knew if I said anything, even hours later I would end up speaking gibberish.
[So I'll say why, don't you and I get together and take on the world and be together forever. Heads we will, tails we'll try again.]
Did you know even back then I wanted to marry you the moment we graduated? I wanted to make myself a better person for you and I worked on that daily. I had even stopped speaking to Avery and Mulciber because you didn't like their idea of a prank. I wanted it to be like it was during the summer, you and me against the world. We'd raise a family together after we were married and I'd teach them potions and you'd teach them your love for charms. It'd be perfect. But I hit tails and it was never meant to be, was it?
[So I'll say why, don't you and I hold each other and fly to the moon and straight onto Heaven, 'cause without you they're never gonna let me in.]
After that incident where I called you that word, we hadn't spoken. I was in denial, I would sit by the lake daily, put myself in situations where you were forced to sit next to me or pass me in hopes that you would speak to me, but it never happened, no matter how many owls I would send you with apologies, or how many times I would approach you to apologize in person but you wouldn't listen to it. That summer was the worst for me; you weren't there to help me sleep when things got bad. By the end of the summer I was enrolled in the Death Eaters, they offered me sanctuary and friendship, something I had only found with you, but I had lost because I'm an idiot.
[Slowly I begin to realize this is never going to end, right about the same time you walk by, and I say "Oh, here we go again, oh!"]
In our seventh year, you continued to avoid me, and I found myself avoiding you as well. I took detours in the halls I knew not many students took. But when I would see you, I would feel the same as I always felt. I knew I was still in love with you, I would probably forever be in love with you, and there was nothing I could do about that. It just made me feel worse about having this mark on my forearm. I would feel a heavy ping of jealous when I would glance up from the Slytherin table to see you smiling at the other Gryffindors. I wanted to kill them all, so you would only have me to smile at.
[Every time I try to talk to you, I get tongue-tied. It turns out that everything I say to you comes out wrong and never comes out right.]
Near the end of the year, I decided I need to talk to you. This couldn't go on. I ran up to you after we got off the Hogwarts Express for Yule Hols, you frowned at me, staying silent. There was so much I wanted to say, Lily. So much… I didn't speak up though, why? Because when I finally opened my mouth to speak, I saw Potter come up from behind you, placing his arm around your waist and glaring at me. You whispered something to him, and he nodded, placing a kiss to your cheek and grabbing yours and his trunk and pulling them towards your parents' car. I was crushed, I felt my heart break and sink into my stomach, if that was possible.
[So I'll say why, don't you and I get together and take on the world and be together forever. Heads we will, tails we'll try again.]
I thought I was in denial before, that summer I felt nothing. I killed that summer, did you know that? My first Death Eater raid, I had killed and I could've cared less. Nothing mattered, you could never be mine. I wasted too much time being stupid, avoiding you when I should've been on my knees begging for forgiveness. I still had dreams of marrying you. You would come to your senses and leave Potter for me. I always knew they were just that though, dreams. They would never come true. Why would you choose me? Snivelly Greasy over James Potter. I had hit tails again.
[So I'll say why, don't you and I hold each other and fly to the moon and straight onto Heaven, 'cause without you they're never gonna let me in.]
As we graduated and grew up, even after your death I held onto you as tight as I could. When I was sad I would remember your smile and eyes, I would revisit pensieve memories frequently of us. I refused to let you go, even though I knew if you were alive then you would still be his and not mine, and I would still be a Death Eater working for Dumbledore and the Order, and you would more than likely still hate me, because I was as bitter and asinine as ever.
[So I'll say why, don't you and I get together and take on the world and be together forever. Heads we will, tails we'll try again.]
But now, here we are. After the war you had been brought back by a trade with Death, and had left Potter for your one true love in life. Me. I was ecstatic when you told me that, I didn't believe you at first, I did nothing in life to deserve you, I thought it was a prank, but you turned out to be sincere and now we're married. Taking on the world, together forever. I had finally flipped heads.
[So I'll say why, don't you and I hold each other and fly to the moon and straight onto Heaven, 'cause without you they're never gonna let me in.]
Every morning I awake next to you, you in my arms and I feel complete. Every time you laugh and look at me, or even just smile the butterflies from when I was ten come back. I still get tongue-tied as well; I just hide it better now. I have loved you since my third year, and I still do as we're going into our sixties. For everything, I just want to tell you thank you, and I love you.