Stitches
The threads tightened round him. The pain – it was biting into his flesh. Jubei shivered and groaned – "Kazuki," – and the wind seemed to catch his whisper, hollowing out ethereally into the magnificent crevasses around. In a fleeting instant the pain washed into a cold haunting pleasure: a murderous embrace, thought Jubei, feeling the threads eat into his flesh. He sliced through them, emerging behind a flurry of needles.
The threads flew in retaliation, aggressive and peremptory, demanding an explanation. Why? Kazuki yelled as an ambuscade of black needles swarmed toward him. He launched himself skyward and the needles grazed his calves and torso. All of a sudden, against the backdrop of a merciless Jubei harrowed with pain and exhaustion, against the vast depths of the barren hostile canyon, rose in front of Kazuki a scene from long ago.
(Was Jubei seeing this too?)
Jubei, eleven years old, spread his arms out with a boyish laughter expanding from his glowing cheeks like a delightful Mozart sonatina.
A cache of tenderness opened within Kazuki, releasing a strange warmth which melded into his heart like viscous lava over igneous rock. But the brief contentment met the image of this changed Jubei, and, as quickly as the cache had been opened, it was now left empty – a wasted vacuum covered with the cicatrices of hardened lava.
And what was he thinking? What was he thinking while the past foists itself here upon me? Nothing? Of course…he's too stupid…incapable of understanding…
Behind him were trees – a vast expanse of greenery; and in front, Kazuki, young and tender with soft fluttering eyes.
How unfeeling, whilst I stand here quivering under this pressure. Clenching his fist bitterly over his tochika stone, Jubei summoned his needles hidden treacherously under the earth –
"Land spider!" he cried. The needles splintered the surface like the sable legs of a tarantula and cast themselves at Kazuki, engulfing him in a rising shadow. Away! Away at once!
But Kazuki was still standing there. He could see him so clearly, dressed in his pink kimono, chuckling in amusement as a reddish tinge scintillated like a budding rose just beneath the soft ivory of his cheeks. How he had wanted to brush a finger, just a finger…
(A shelter of rocks shattered into billowing columns of dust under the onslaught of his needles, muffling a cry of pain from Kazuki and obfuscating his shaken body.)
That longing – just to have a little light touch – it threatened to swallow, to engulf, to devour ravenously, desperately, pathetically. But one must hold, one must resist, so that the human body is left aching all over, shriveled, and on the verge of being pulled asunder. What was it? –
Kazuki chuckling, a hand raised to cover his little mouth. He, arms spread out, left clueless (and the very sensation returned to him now), yet pleased that he had made Kazuki smile. What was it?
"What is so funny?" Yes it came back to him now. What is so funny, he asked. Then he heard, radiant, exacting, and profoundly sweet – "Jubei, you are so old-fashioned."
Kazuki emerged from the chalky haze battered.
"Kazuki, I will protect you with my life!" Kazuki heard Jubei say, whose arms were spread wide out – arms which had wanted to hold and embrace but which, unsure, hesitating, settled instead for the meager air.
And now this fighting, thought Kazuki, vehemently forcing the two Jubei's juxtaposed in front of him, one blithe and embracing, one cold and sad as a bent frozen flower, to a reconciliation. Disappear. Disappear or whisk me away…
"Whirlpool!" And the memory of the young Jubei (Kazuki I will protect you with my life – it still rang hard and metallic) was ripped to shreds as lengths of thread extended from the two little brass bells nestled somewhat precariously within the Vs of Kazuki's slender fragile twig-like finders. The semi-visible strands gathered suddenly into massive hurricanes, smashing away the towers of rubble and debris.
Kazuki rushed through the clearing. What a refreshing sensation – driving through to attack, disabling memory with activity. And so he drove on, dodging the incoming needles instinctively, on and on, into the billows of smashed rock.
On? To where? Behind the fire burned; behind his family were dying. In front of him the somber night sky stretched on interminably. Tears fell – an inchoate expression for emotions the exhausted body and mind failed to grasp. (Like mournful pearls, Jubei remembered thinking.) Beside him Jubei held his hand, taking him into the darkness.
(The needles struck Kazuki's heels from behind and stunned him momentarily.)
"I will grow stronger," Jubei said, "so I can protect those whom I treasure." And he squeezed Kazuki's hand tightly. Behind, the flares raged on.
Kazuki leapt over Jubei, ensaring him with a rainfall of threads. "You lose Jubei."
The strings lacerated Jubei's bound body and retracted, leaving him genuflecting with his head bowed toward the ground. Shaking, he chortled, "Why didn't you finish me off?"
Kazuki walked toward him, with eyes like soft moist earth. A smile fluttered by his cheek. "Even now…since always…" Jubei felt a tremor in his heart – it was so beautiful – sharing this time portal with Kazuki – even now, he had said, since always…His ears strained to pick out the words that were struggling to be formed round Kazuki's tremulous lips.
"Since always…you have been my best friend."
Yes, forever, thought Kauzki, there can only be one best – it suited him far better than anything else – Jubei forever there.
But Jubei hesitated. "You haven't changed at all…" His voice seemed to succumb under some enormous weight. Suddenly cracking and bursting forth his voice peaked at a shuddering intensity –
"You are so naïve!" he yelled. The tochika stone glowed purple and the needles sprung into the air.
"Jubei!" Kazuki screamed as his protector collapsed, pierced by his own needles. Kazuki felt his heart rending apart. The festering pain rose like a gush or acidic liquid, scoring his insides and erupting painfully at his throat – "Jubei!" he screamed, and then came the meaningless echolalia of the canyon.
His tears fell once more, like mournful pearls, kissing his febrile cheeks. "Don't shed tears for a guy like me…it's a fitting end for a fool who couldn't treasure his loved ones."
So infantile – an idiot.
But Kazuki drew him close and soothed his aching head against the firm flesh of his chest. And Jubei smile once more, abandoning himself to that moment of peace, being cradled so – his world was now folded up tenderly; beyond, the rest of the world was screened into oblivion – the shattered rocks, the abysmal crevasses, even time itself, ticking for this moment – everything – leaving only this contentment…
If it were now to die
'Twere now to be most happy.
"I'll take you to Gen…nothing now is more important to me than your life."
Kazuki hauled Jubei up and supported him against his shoulder. At last there was no more resistance and Jubei closed his eyes to the warm music of Kazuki's voice.
Far away, the horizon turned into a soft grey veil. And just behind it, Kazuki saw through a lattice of dark yellow light and grey shadow, two little boys playing on some field from long ago…