"Okay," Kenshin said, hands braced on his knees as he breathed hard through his mouth. "I think we need to redefine 'causing a scene.'"

"That was NOT causing a scene," Edward argued, his automail hand on the brick wall as he caught his breath. "I've caused a few scenes and that wasn't even in the top ten."

"Why is it so hard for you to keep a low profile?" Kenshin argued right back.

"Why is this just MY fault?" Edward said, straightening finally. "I didn't throw the first punch, if I recall that was totally you who decked that guy. I wasn't the one who lost my cool!"

"You were going to."

"Hell yes I was going to, I was gonna kick that idiot's ass to the curb. I am perfectly capable of doing that without you stepping in."

Kenshin leaned back against the alley's wall, still breathing a little hard from running. "You could have warned me he had friends."

"I was HANDLING IT. You didn't have to go and play the white knight, Himura." Edward loosened his tie further and unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt. "Jeez, we must have run across half the city." He glared at Kenshin. "WHY did we run across half the city?"

"Because you're drunk, and I'm drunk, and you would have used your alchemy in that bar and we're trying to keep a low profile," Kenshin rationalized.

"I'm not drunk," Edward said.

"Yes you are."

"No, if I was drunk I would be puking my guts over into that dumpster after running like that. Like you're kinda thinking about doing."

Kenshin glared at Edward. "You're... inebriated," he said.

"I'll give you that, but I ain't drunk." Edward snorted. He pointed at Kenshin. "You lost your tie."

Kenshin looked down at himself, and sure enough the tie he had put on at the beginning of the evening was no longer around his neck. "I'm not wearing it on my head, am I?" Kenshin said, suddenly concerned and patting his head in search of it.

Edward leaned back against the wall beside Kenshin and laughed. "I'd kiss you, if I didn't think there was a chance you'd throw up in my mouth," Edward said.

Kenshin screwed up his face. "I'm not going to throw up," he said.

"You sure? You looked like you were considering it there, for a few moments."

"I'm perfectly fine, Ed."

"You hauled off and punched some asshole who groped me." Edward now found this funny. "What, were you protecting my honor or something?"

"Well I could hardly stand to see your maidenly virtue besmirched."

"Hah fucking hah," Edward said as Kenshin straightened. "We both know you fucked that out of me a long time ago, anyway."

"Mm, yeah," Kenshin said, grabbing Edward's hip. "How about that kiss for your valiant protector?"

"You gonna throw up on me?"

Kenshin pulled Edward close. "No."

"I'm serious, Himura, you throw up on me and I'm breaking your nose."

Kenshin nuzzled Edward's jaw before kissing him deeply. Edward settled his hands on Kenshin's ass. "See?" Kenshin murmured as they broke apart. "I'm not that drunk." He slid one hand down the back of Edward's trousers.

"But drunk enough to want to do me in a dirty alley off of a main thoroughfare."

"I don't have to be drunk to want that," Kenshin murmured into his ear, squeezing Edward's ass.

"I think there's a homeless guy watching us."

Kenshin drew back from Edward. "Are you trying to kill the mood?" he asked, frustrated.

"No, I'm serious, look." Edward nodded down the alley as a head disappeared behind a dumpster. "Hobo, ten o'clock."

"Okay, fine," Kenshin squeezed Edward's ass one more time. "Back to the hotel, then."

"Good," Edward murmured. "I'm starving."

Kenshin gave Edward a disbelieving look, then laughed, wrapping his arm around the small of Edward's back as they made their way out of the alley and back in the direction of the hotel.