by: tlgirl
Rating: PG
Category: other
Disclaimer: blah blah blah . . . I don't own anything . . . you know the drill.
Author's Notes: This is another tragic fic. If you're in a good mood, don't read this. I've already warned you. I use music lyrics in my fics a lot. Read the lyrics and the story carefully, they relate to each other. Please send feedback! I'm pretty new at this fan fic stuff. You have no idea how appreciated an e-mail that simply says "good job" is. If you want more of this particular fic, send me feedback - it helps me stay motivated. Plus it's nice to know that someone is reading my work. e-mail: tlgirl2@hotmail.com
Summary: Basically, just ignore the summer diaries + season 5 and you'll be fine. Pacey still goes off to paradise, the "Coda" episode was not ignored *hint*. He comes back looking for Joey but walks in on an unpleasant scene. Pacey commits suicide (read on to find out how and why!). At his funeral, a wide array of characters stop by to pay their respects to our misguided hero. Each chapter is a different person saying goodbye to him, everyone - from the show regulars (Jack, Jen, Dawson, Joey) to the lesser characters (Drue, Tamara, Will Crudski, Gretchen, Doug, Sheriff Witter, Buzz, etc.) will be in this fic. Read the song lyrics and the story carefully, they relate to each other.
It had been a summer away from family, away from friends, away from her.
He had to see her. He just had to. After endless nights of staring at the stars thinking about her, he just had to see her. As much as he wanted to fight it, fight the feelings that would ultimately result in his self-destruction - his love was too strong. Late at night, he could hear her voice in the air, he could feel her touch on his skin in the breeze, and he could see her face in the water - his true love. He was a fool for loving her, but he was a fool for giving her up.
After a few minutes debating, he finally knocked on the door. A part of him wanted to run away and never look back but he stayed glued to his position. He must have looked like a mess - his Hawaiian shirt and khaki pants clung to his chiseled and newly tanned body, wet from the pouring rain. A shiver ran down his back as he stood outside in the middle of a raging storm and the biting cold without so much as a jacket on. "It's okay, if all goes well, she'll be warming me up tonight," he thought to himself as a let out a chuckle.
He braced himself as the door slowly opened. She dropped the piece of paper she was holding in her hand. She was obviously surprised as she opened her mouth to say something, but no sound came out. He just stood there, and flashed a smile, the smile that made her melt. "Hey."
After realizing that he really was there, that this moment wasn't a figment of her imagination, that he was reality; she returned his smile. Flashing him her trademark crooked grin.
They both just stood there grinning madly at each other, neither wanting to make the first move. A passer by would undoubtedly call them two fools in love.
Their connection was broken when someone walked up behind her. He was rubbing his damp blond hair vigorously with a towel. He looked up and also reacted with a surprised expression. He took a moment to compose himself, "How long have you been back? It's nice of you to stop by our apartment," he smirked as he emphasized the word "our."
"Wait, no, it's not what it looks like! Don't leave me . . . again!" she screamed as her visitor turned around and began to walk away.
"Just shut up!" he screamed after her. He couldn't breathe. There was a pain in his chest a pain that hit so hard and so fast, he couldn't walk straight. Maybe the pain was his heart breaking, all he knew was that he couldn't breathe.
He was on his way back to the harbor until he realized that he didn't have a boat to sail away on anymore. But still, he needed to where his true love was - the ocean. A ridge was coming up. He knew it was there, he saw it coming, yet he didn't stop. He saw the water, sparkling by the light of the moon, and he saw freedom. Freedom from the feelings that would plague him for the rest of his life, freedom from her power over him.
The icy cold water hit his body like a thousand knives. After a few moments, it all went black.
He was free, and he could finally breathe.
By: Linkin Park
I cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
But you'll find that out anyway
Chorus:
Just like before...
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again
Repeat Chorus
Shut up when I'm talking to you
Shut up, shut up, shut up (x2)
I'm about to break!
Repeat Chorus