Summary: Pietro is starting to feel doubts about his loyalty and his feelings towards his father. Songfic.
Rating: G
A/N: This is another songfic to Linkin Park's 'Numb' about Pietro. I heard the song playing on the radio while on the way home from the movies and got some weird inspiration. The idea has been in my head ever since so I had to write it. Please read and review. Thanks.
Numb
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Pietro Maximoff woke up with a slight shock. He felt a shiver run through his body. He took a look at the clock to see it was early in the morning. He closed his eyes and sighed. He wouldn't be able to go back to sleep and he knew it. His conscience was keeping him awake. Or whatever it was. It was keeping him awake and there was nothing he could do about. He let out a deep breath and got up. He left his room and quickly 'walked' through the dark and dirty hallways, arriving in the bathroom before even a second passed. He turned on the faucet and splashed water on his face. He looked back up at his reflection in the cracked mirror and sighed.
"I thought I didn't have a conscience," Pietro muttered to himself, almost in a mocking way. "I'm a bad guy. Bad guys don't have a conscience."
His reflection seemed to say 'This isn't a matter of good or bad.' He glared at it and looked away. But his reflection or conscience thing was right. It wasn't about good or bad. It was about him and his father. He had always obeyed his father whether it was fear or if it were the longing of power. But now, he wasn't so sure. He felt as if he didn't want to do this for him. The Brotherhood was one thing. That was something he didn't mind at all. But he was sick of doing bidding for his father. He was sick of betraying the people he might have cared for, for someone who he feared. He was starting to feel doubts, but there was nothing he could do. Magneto had an expectancy of him. He wasn't that image, but he might end up like Wanda. That's what kept him his father's pet. He didn't want what happened to Wanda to happen to him. He was afraid. But now, fear was starting to disappear and now his longings of freedom were taking over.
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
His father wanted him to be just like him. He didn't want to be just like his father, he realized. Pietro wanted to be himself and all those suppressed feelings were finally surfacing. He wasn't like his father at all, he realized. He was different. He was different. Pietro looked back at the mirror, slightly taken aback. That thought was a little unsettling, but it was the truth and he knew it.
"Well, what-do-you-want-me-to-do-about-it, almighty conscience?" Pietro muttered to himself. He stared at the mirror and waited for a reply. There was nothing. Pietro crossed his arms and smirked to himself. "Thought so. There's no defying my father."
You're just afraid. Pietro shook his head.
"I'd say talking to your reflection makes you insane." He turned away, turned off the light and opened the door. A second later, he was back in his room. He laid down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. Every few seconds, he would glance at the clock. Time was so slow. Or maybe he was just too fast? 'No,' He assured himself. 'Time is slow. Especially if you can't sleep. Especially if your name is Pietro Maximoff.' He closed his eyes and found himself edgy. If he couldn't sleep, he would just be sitting there and doing nothing. He didn't like to do nothing. He liked to move. The only time he wasn't moving was when he was sleeping, and he wasn't doing much of that. He could never sit through movies or entire TV shows. They were just so long and it meant sitting there forever.
He could think, but he didn't want to. His conscience might lecture him or something. He remembered waking up to a twisted memory. It was the first time his father ever hit him. Pietro hadn't been successful and Magneto slapped him across the face, telling him he was a disappointment. He warned him he would end up like Wanda. Ending up like Wanda was his one of his greatest fears after his father. He remembered thinking why he couldn't have a normal father. He could never call Magneto 'dad' or 'pops.' That would probably be a death wish or something.
Magneto was all about work and didn't have time for games. He started training Pietro since he was young. Trying to raise him to be just like his old man. Pietro didn't have a choice. But…what if he didn't want to be just like daddy?
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
It was a little after sunrise when Pietro finally went back to sleep. His body would ache terrible later, when he woke up. That's what lack of sleep would do. But while away in a slumber, he found himself dreaming about his biggest fears.
It was dark and he was alone. All alone. He could see nothing around him. He found himself taking a step forward only to be going nowhere at all. He put his hand out and found himself in a closed space. He couldn't move at all. His greatest fear. He had all the speed in the world, but he had nowhere to go. He did develop a small case of claustrophobia.
"This-isn't-funny!" Pietro called out, feeling the panic rising up within him. Suddenly, the darkness faded. He was in a glass cage with barely any space. He started banging on it and yelled to be let out. A few bright lights turned on, startling Pietro. He banged harder, bruising parts of his hand. He didn't care. He needed to move. He needed to be free.
He looked around for a sign of life. He could only see what the lights showed him and that was nothingness. They were quite blinding after all the darkness he was use to and they were really bright. But then, who should step in, but something he truly feared.
"Father!" Pietro called out. "Let-me-out! This isn't funny anymore."
Magneto's face was concealed by the darkness, but he started to walk closer to his trapped son. Pietro was dead silent as his father walked closer and closer. Finally, Magneto was only inches away. He put his hand on the cage and looked up at his son, revealing his cold expression.
"You do not defy me, Pietro," Magneto said to him, coldly. Pietro stared. "I am sorry, but you have to know what happens when you defy me."
Pietro could not argue. You don't argue with Magneto. He would have to face his punishment. He closed his eyes and realized how much he feared his father and there was nothing he could do about it. He would remain his father's slave forever. And he stood there, wondering, 'will I be just like him?'
Pietro woke up startled. He was sweating. He felt the fear longing in him for a few moments and then he felt it fading away. He let out a sigh of relief. That nightmare wasn't just a dream. It was the fragment of a memory that he preferred to forget. Here it was back to haunt him.
Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
He dozed off once more, but by then everyone was awake. It seemed just moments after he got to sleep, he was being shaken awake. He opened his eyes and saw Lance, shaking him awake. He glared and pushed the tall, brunette away.
"Go-away-Lance," Pietro muttered, groggily. As if his bad moods weren't enough, when he was tired, he was even worse.
"Sorry, 'Tro," Lance said, sympathetically. "I can't. Gambit's here. He's looking for you. You're father wants you for something. As usual."
"Are you sure you're not doing this because you hate me?" Pietro muttered, pushing the covers off himself. After the incident with finding out that Pietro had been working for his father the whole time, they weren't so kind to him anymore. And he treated them, badly he could admit. He had all this power. All he had to do was mention that word. 'My father.' It would scared anyone. But with new doubts about his father, he had tried to lighten up. Freddy and Todd still despised him. Wanda still did. Lance was a bit nicer, but a wrong word from Pietro would mean an angry earthquake.
Lance stared. "I try to be nice to you and you'll probably set your father on me anyway," He muttered to himself. "I'm sure, Pietro."
Pietro stood up and yawned. "Yeah, yeah."
"That and Gambit's threatening to burn the whole house down if you're not down there in five seconds, so get your ass down there, before I—" Lance put up his fists and cracked his knuckles. Pietro glared. Just 5 seconds later, he was showered, dressed, and ready.
"Happy now?" Pietro muttered. Lance nodded, putting his fists down. "Jeez, no respect around here."
"Yeah," Lance muttered, bitterly. "Why don't you call your dad here to exterminate us all?"
Pietro remembered the topic of his father. He sighed to himself. He wanted to be friends with them again, but they would never have it. He did, really. Just because he was kind of cold, and made them do stuff for him, didn't mean he didn't like them. He did always yell at them for being too slow. 'Especially poor Fred… It's not his fault he's that big.' Pietro paused. Did he just think that? 'Damn conscience!' He didn't like the business of feeling bad. He liked being treated like a king, even if he was hated. It was tempting. But maybe he should lighten up a bit.
"AHHHH!" They heard from downstairs. "SAVE ME LANCE! HE'S GONNA BLOW ME UP, YO!!!!"
Lance gave Pietro a look, and Pietro was down there just five seconds later. Gambit had Toad pinned up against the wall with cards of his and threatening to blow him up. Freddy looked frozen, as if he were going to help Todd, but Gambit had his other hand out with a card.
"What-do-you-want?" Pietro asked, putting a hand to his hip. "I'm waiting."
"Magneto wants you to go see him. Wants to ask you something…" Gambit said.
"There you saw him!" Toad yelled out. "Now unpin me, yo!"
Pietro sighed to himself. He would have to go do something for dear old dad. Again. He turned and leaned against the wall. He crossed his arms and stared down at the ground.
"You okay?" He heard Lance ask, as he came down the stairs. Pietro looked up and glared.
"What-do-you-care?" He muttered. Lance frowned.
"Sorry for asking," He mumbled, bitterly. "I didn't mean to talk to you, mightiness."
Lance walked away and Pietro actually felt kind of bad.
"Sorry Alve—" Pietro turned to see that Lance had already went in the other room to make sure Gambit didn't torture Toad, too much. 'They all hate me and think I'm a spoiled brat and now I have to deal with Magneto…'
Pietro left at that instant. He knew where his father was and no one was begging him to wait around. He might as well go deal with him now. Get it all over with. The day was already bad. He might as well and go make it worse. Being the speed demon that he was, he was there in just a matter of minutes, even less. He stood outside of Magneto's current base. It wasn't much. Just a seemingly abandoned building. He walked up to the front door and stared up at the small hidden camera. He could just walk in…and then get shot. He waited for the door to open and then he went in.
He was let in by Colossus and followed the giant, silently. Colossus led him to a room and opened the door. Pietro stepped in, feeling impatient already. The door closed behind him. In the room, Magneto was sitting in a chair, waiting. He looked up at Pietro.
"Pietro," He said, simply.
"Hello, father."
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
Pietro crossed his arms. "What is that you wanted?" He had to keep his patience here. He was in front of Magneto, after all. He just didn't like being kept in this room. He felt confined.
"I wanted to ask how things were," Magneto said. "At the house… how is it?"
"Oh, just wonderful," Pietro muttered, sarcastically. He reminded himself not to be sarcastic in front of Magneto. "Uh—fine. They treat me like I'm a king. Well, of course I am."
"And what about Wanda?" He asked, next. Wanda. Wanda was a scary subject sometimes. She could be a bit unstable. But as of now, she loved Magneto. That was also scary.
"Wanda is Wanda. She comes, she goes," Pietro said. "She can't make up her mind…"
Magneto waited for the words she wanted to hear.
"She doesn't want to kill you," Pietro added. Magneto smiled.
"That's good," Magneto said. Pietro agreed. A less angered Wanda was much better than a destructive Wanda. Yes, much better. And he was also glad Magneto wasn't going to make him find her, again. Pietro refrained from tapping his foot impatiently. He was getting bored. He just wanted this to be over. He wanted to be away from his father.
"Pietro," Magneto stared. 'Great,' Pietro thought to himself. 'Here comes whatever he wanted to talk to me about… Some big talk or something.' "I hear your behavior is a bit… different …lately. Is there anything you want to tell me?"
'So, he knows…' Pietro didn't want to know how he knew. The fact was that Magneto was starting to notice that Pietro might actually starting to have a conscience. The next he'll know is that his son is an X-man. 'That's too much,' Pietro thought to himself, getting a bit off topic. 'I'd be an X-man when Wanda finally loves Toad… heh.' He suddenly remembered that his father was still there waiting for answer. 'What am I suppose to tell him? Hey, dad. I'm not becoming a good guy like you think I am, I'm just sick of you and all your crap you put on me. Hey, I have feelings too, you know. I'm not you…'
"Not really," Pietro finally answered, with a shrug. Magneto studied his son for a second and nodded.
"Very well," Magneto said. "You can go."
"Finally," Pietro muttered to himself. He opened the door and prepared to leave that place as soon as possible.
"Remember what happens when you make a mistake, son," Magneto called out before Pietro could speed away. "Remember the consequences when you do not listen…"
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take
Pietro heard those words loud and clear and that memory came back to him. The claustrophobia wasn't the only scary thing in that dream. Pietro quickly left. He ran. He didn't know where, but he just sped around. He didn't go back to the Brotherhood house. No one there would comfort him or even talk to him. He wasn't in quite the mood to boss around anyone, either. He wanted to get away from it all. He felt like running forever.
That's just what he was doing. Running away from his problems. Magneto knew about his change in behavior and did not approve at all. Of course. His father never approved of anything Pietro did that he actually liked.
"I-should-have-said-something," Pietro muttered to himself as he ran. "Something. Anything! Better than feeling like this."
He had a feeling that stupid voice was going to start nagging him again. Of course, he was right. You should have said something. You're afraid of him. Face your fears, Pietro.
"Yeah, I'd like to see you try," He muttered. "I don't see YOU talking back to my father. You'd be insane to do that…"
Pietro ran for a while. He never got tired of it. He felt like running to Mexico or something, but decided to stick around the Bayville area instead. He ran through the city over and over again, until he got sick of seeing the same things over and over again. Watching TV or bossing someone around might make him feeling better. He decided to head back to the house. Why don't you talk to someone?
"I'm-not-listening-to-a-voice-inside-my-head," Pietro mumbled. "You-can't-make-me-so-there!"
He entered the house to see that Fred and Todd were sitting on the couch. He could hear sounds of Lance's guitar from upstairs. It was either talk to Lance or boss Toad and Blob. He thought about the food they could make him. And he thought about possibly feeling better if he talked to someone. He took one look at Fred and Todd. They looked up at him for a second, expecting him to yell at them to get off the couch or make him food. Just a second later, he was gone.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
The strumming of the guitar stopped. Pietro tapped his foot impatiently. He hated to wait, even if it was for a few seconds. He heard some shuffling and finally the turning of the doorknob. Lance appeared behind the door. He frowned.
"Oh, it's you," He said, coldly. "What do you want?"
"I want to talk," Pietro asked, ignoring the glare.
"Don't you mean you want to boss me around?" Lance asked, crossing his arms.
"I'm serious," Pietro said, genuinely. Lance's eyes widened when he realized Pietro was telling the truth. Lance opened the door wider, and motioned for Pietro to come in. A second later, he was leaning against the opposite wall, while Lance was still motioning. Lance shrugged and closed the door.
"What is it, 'Tro?" Lance asked, leaning against the closed door. Pietro sighed.
"Well, I'm kind of sick of being a slave to my dad," Pietro said. Lance stared.
"You didn't tell him this, did you?" Lance asked, worried. "Because if one of us ends up dead because of you, I'll—"
"I don't want any of you to get hurt," Pietro said. "You won't get hurt. I'm just sick of being tied down to that guy. He's not even like a real father. Look what he did to Wanda."
"That's true," Lance said, nodding. "But he's Magneto, man. He'll kill you if you tell him you don't want to work for him anymore."
"I know," He said. "I'm just—"
Lance put his hand up and silenced the silver-haired boy.
"BUT," Lance said. "It's something you need to do. It's the only way you'll ever feel free, Pietro. You've got to do it."
Pietro nodded. Lance was right. The stupid voice was right. He was sick of waiting. He was engulfed in his fear, though. Maybe it was time to face his fears.
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
While Pietro was fighting with his doubts, Magneto assigned them another mission. Why his 'Acolytes' couldn't do it, was always the question. But they had no choice, but to do it. They had to listen to Magneto. They feared him above all else. They were going to rob a bank. There was a locked vault with extra security with something valuable inside it. Magneto wanted that item. He didn't tell them what it was, but he told them he wanted it.
"I'm trusting you, Pietro," Magneto had said. "You will lead them."
"Yes, father," Pietro replied.
After the Brotherhood was ready, they all headed out in Lance's jeep. The bank seemed empty enough. They parked in front of it and got out. There were no lights and everything seemed so empty and quiet.
"Now what?" Blob asked.
"Father said he got the alarms to be disabled, so we just go in, get the item, and get out," Pietro replied. Blob went first and broke the door open. They went in, and past all the shattered glass. Still pretty, quiet.
"This is too easy, yo," Toad observed, hopping forward.
"Shh! Don't jinx it, Toad!" Lance hissed. But Toad was right. Why didn't Magneto send Sabertooth or Gambit or something? Why did he send them? He could have sent Pietro alone if he wanted to. They walked in the building.
"So, where is this vault?" Lance asked looking around.
"'Round back," Pietro replied. Blob broke through a series of more doors. They finally found the vault. In front of them were two sleeping guards with some kind of guns.
"Wow, great security they have here," Lance muttered sarcastically. Pietro walked past the sleeping guards and observed the vault.
"You could probably break through this, Blob," Pietro said. Blob nodded and proceeded to walk forward. Pietro looked over at the guards, one who was being poked by Toad.
"Are they dead?" He asked.
"Toad! No!" Pietro said a little too loudly. The other guard starting stirring. When he saw the group, he instantly was wide-awake, with his gun ready. He proceeded to shoot Avalanche, but that wouldn't happen. Lance put his hands out and started to shake the ground, causing the bullets to all miss. The other woke up, but Toad shot some slime at him. He was now blinded. With his tongue, Toad grabbed the guns from the men and tossed them aside. Blob picked up the two men and bashed their heads together, knocking them out.
"Still too easy," Toad said.
"Not anymore," A voice called from behind them. It was Cyclops and his group of X-men. Jean, Nightcrawler, Rogue, and Shadowcat were all present. Pietro hesitated. How could the X-men possibly know? The battle began. The outcome was already known before anything started. They lost, as usual. Where was Wanda when you needed her?
They were forced to retreat and escape. Pietro was dazed through all of it, barely remembering what happened. He remembered Lance yelling at him to do something. Somehow, he couldn't. There was no possible way the X-men could know, unless…
It was all setup. It was test. That's why it was so easy. There was probably nothing that Magneto had wanted and he probably tipped off the X-men somehow. It was a test. But not for all of them. For him… He had a feeling that he failed.
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
The next thing Pietro remembered was being back in Magneto's lair. It was just him and his father now. There was no escaping and there was no turning back. They were in that room again. Magneto was sitting down in that same chair, again. Pietro stood there, silent. He was breathing heavily. Everything seemed to slow down, though. Everything was in slow motion. Magneto had his hands folded, and he stared at Pietro. They were both silent for a while.
"You failed me, Pietro," Magneto finally said.
"I know," Pietro replied. There was no use making up excuses like he normally did. He didn't blame it on someone else. He took the blame. He knew the truth about what really happened. His father was testing him. His father just wanted an excuse to criticize him and punish him.
"You let the X-men get in the way, once again," He said. Pietro stared. 'No, you did.'
"I guess I did."
There was silence once again. Magneto studied his son once again.
"Pietro, tell me," Magneto said. 'Tell you what?' Pietro knew what. Pietro knew what he wanted to know. But what he wanted to hear, wouldn't be the case tonight. Tonight it would be different. A small part of him hoped that maybe Magneto could understand him. No, probably not. Magneto had never understood him. He wouldn't know what it was like criticized and the doubts he was feeling. Right? Pietro stared and he took a deep breath.
"I'm not you, father."
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be