Summary: This is au from where Conner goes to Quor'toth, he doesn't get sent there basically, Conner has been raised by angel and Cordelia. Five years down the line Angelus rears his un-ugly head and Cordelia is forced to take Conner and flee. My first Angel fic, so feedback is muchly appreciated. If you want to distribute this feel free, just drop me a line to say where. (Flash backs are signified by 2 sets of elipses and a double space, they end with the same format, I tried italics but they didn't show when I uploaded this)
-end authors notes.
*****
Conner had sat in stony silence for the first 20 minutes or so. The silence was broken only by Cordy's heavy breathing, and the occasional sniff of sadness from Conner at being woken up in the night and being rushed from his safe, warm home, away from his Father. The adrenaline was still pumping fast through her veins. Cordelia couldn't help but take a few anxious glances behind her to make sure they weren't being followed. Any sensible person would have waited for the safety of daylight to escape, but as she had lain in her bed that night the fear crept slowly upon her until all she could think of was getting far, far away from the hyperion with her son, away from the monster that was his Father, and her beloved.
It was inevitable Conner would question her actions some time; he was a bright young boy, for a five year old. So it came as no surprise when he piped up.
"Where are we going Mommy?"
Cordelia smiled her bravest smile for him.
"Somewhere nice and sunny." She put a happy accent on her words, made it sound like they were going on a nice road trip together. Conner looked sceptically at the darkness around him, the only 'sun' was the neon glow coming from the seedy bar they were speeding past.
"Are we going to the beech?" He was unsure of his words and a little frightened by the strange situation he found him self in.
"No Conner, not the beech, somewhere… different, far away. From Daddy."
The little boy's face scrunched up in confusion. Cordelia sighed; he didn't need to say anything for her to know she should explain further, with a sigh she struggled to explain.
"Daddy did something very bad Conner, and, and we have to go away for a while until Daddy is good again, understand?" The young boy nodded and watched the world fly by the window.
"Mommy?"
"Yes Conner?"
"Are you driving too fast?"
"Um, well yeah."
"Isn't that bad?"
"Well, normally yes it is very bad and sometimes a nasty police man or woman will stop you and give you a ticket and then you have to give them money, which we need, which is why you mustn't go very fast in a car unless its very important."
Conner once again nodded. He thought for a little while about the complexities of the world before speaking up again.
"You always tell Daddy off if he goes too fast. Even when it was really important like when Uncle Charlie had to go to the oraceles."
"Well that's different, I'm careful when I speed, Daddy just isn't. Besides I'm a bit upset right now Conner so I'm allowed to be irrational."
"Because Mommy has perwiod's?"
Cordelia couldn't help but smile a little at Conner's innocence; she really needed to stop subjecting the poor kid to her life philosophies. She mused that he wasn't even in kindergarten and he already knew all about vampires, demons, hell mouths and how cheap blondes were to be avoided at all costs.
Eventually her nerves calmed enough to allow her to slow down and Conner drifted off into a peaceful sleep, lulled there by the motion of the car and the purring of the engine. Dawn was just beginning to break and Cordelia felt herself become slowly wearier, she gathered she was around 145 kilometres from LA by now, just approaching Santa Barbara, was that enough distance? He'd come after them once he realised they were gone, of that much she was sure. She expected this really, when Conner was just a few months old he had almost been lost, the resurrected vampire hunter Holtz had stolen him From Wesley and nearly taken him to a hell dimension, if she hadn't come back from holiday just then… ...
... …Cordelia screamed as Saihjhan opened the portal to Quor'toth. It was her vision all over again but this time it was more terrifying, because it was really happening, Conner was really being taken away. Groo beside her in her hastily parked jeep tried to restrain her. He could not. She leapt from the safety of the jeep and hurtled forward. She saw Angel be hurled backwards by a bolt of lightening and Holtz step through the portal. She screamed again, in terror as the reality of the situation struck home, she fell to her knees, arms reaching to Sahjhan. From those arms a white light erupted, her eyes grew wide in shock as the beam destroyed Sahjhan and closed the portal, Holtz was thrown backwards, landing hard and probably breaking his neck in the process. Conner was thrown up in the air, his white baby blanket slipping from under him. Cordelia sobbed as he fell to the ground, sure that the impact would crush his tiny body. Angel was up and rushing towards him, the others, too shocked to act. Every thing seemed to be moving in slow motion. He wouldn't make it the baby would still die. Cordy closed her eyes to shut out the sight. She didn't hear any screams, or Angel's cries as she had in the vision; she cracked on eye open, then both, unable to believe the sight. The baby was floating mere inches from the ground, gurgling to himself. Cordelia smiled and the baby dropped harmlessly to the ground. "Way to go demon me." she muttered. Conner was now crying and Angel was laughing as he held him in his arms, with relief and joy. Cordelia stood and went to Angel's side to smile down on Conner. Angel thanked her with a kiss that lasted perhaps too long for people who were just friends... ...
... …They waited nearly a year after that day before doing the 'deed', having sex. They'd been so scared they'd practically fumbled through and unlike most people her age instead of a condom for protection Cordelia took some holy water and a stake with her. Angel had been so happy when he hadn't lost his soul he almost put it at risk. Angel was smiling a lot lately and whilst he wasn't perfectly happy he was very, very content. The years went by and Conner began to crawl and walk and talk, and play miniature hockey; Well sort of. Who would have thought such a simple thing as a school assignment would have released Angelus… ...
... … Conner's class had to talk about their hero, after class had come home to tell a beaming Angel and I that he had chosen us, he had been the only boy in his class to choose his parents. He looked up into Angel's eyes with such devotion and love tears of joy came to my eyes. Conner said, "Daddy, you Mommy are the best Mommy and Daddy in the whole world." Conner skipped off as I turned with a grin to find Angel hunched over toward the floor. I knew, I just knew today was the day we had all been dreading. Eventually Angel stood up. His eyes had a strange watery look, he gave me a weak smile, I could hear him breathing, see a slight sheen of perspiration on his upper lip. I had to believe he was still him, what else could I have done? I called his name, worried. He looked at me confused before something passed over his eyes and a slow smile spread over his lips. He blinked once slowly, enjoying the sensation of the world slowly changing to blackness. Then he came forward, powerful in the one stride it took to reach me and pull me close. "I'm fine," his smile spread, "Better than fine." He kissed me, passionately, as he always did, but there was something else there, an insistency, like it was the first time we'd kissed. It lasted far too long for just a normal kiss. As he pulled away I gasped for breath and frowned lightly at him, my eyes boring into his, searching. He caressed my cheek. "Cor, you worry too much." I stood mouthing my new nickname to my self "Cor?" as I watched him saunter upstairs.
The day went as usual, at the end of it Angel investigations went home and Angel and I tucked Conner into bed. That night Angel was so insistent about making love, like, he needed it so bad or something, it worried me, so I shrugged him off. He shouted at me, nothing bad, more and angry grunt, or much more terrifyingly, a growl. He fell asleep in the end, his hand resting on my breast, nose tucked into the crook of my neck. I had to repress a sob. I knew what he was now I couldn't deny it. I eased out of bed as soon as I felt I could. Sneaking around our creaky bedroom was so incredibly scary, all I wanted to do was fall down and cry, but I had to get my son out of there and away as fast as I could, before we couldn't. Before he decided not to let us. The hinges on the wardrobe seemed like tomcats screeching and I jumped when a car drove past outside and its light shone on his slumbering figure. I had to silence Conner when I woke him to stop him crying, we took his favourite bear with us, A vampire slayer bear that Dawn had made for him on his fourth birthday… ...
... …Cordelia's thoughts snapped back to the present and she realised she was slipping off into the land of nod. Shaking her self-awake she suddenly thought of warning her friends. Wesley, she'd call Wesley. She reached for her hands free cell-phone and hit the speed dial for Wes. There was a pregnant silence before the connections struck home and the phone started ringing, impatiently she growled out "Pick up the phone, Wes, pick up the phone." Eventually a groggy sounding Wesley answered. "Hello?" "Wesley, oh Thank God!"
"Cordelia, what's wrong, did you have a vision."
"Pfft, I wish!"
"Well then…"
"Oh Wes!" She couldn't help herself she broke into quiet sobs, Wesley waited for her to calm down.
"I'm on the freeway Wesley, I had to get out of there."
"Did- did you and Angel have a-a fight? Or er…" Dealing with hysterical Cordelia after she got pissed at Angel had never been his strong point.
"No. No, I, oh, God." She had to bite the bullet sometime.
"He's, I think, he's. Wesley I think Angelus is back."
Stunned silence was her companion's only reply. Cordelia pressed on. "It's, well Conner said something today, well yesterday now and it, Angel was so happy, but them he was on the floor and he looked so strange, and it was like, he wasn't Angel anymore, but he didn't do anything like, evil, but I know, somehow, I just know that he's not… Maybe it's my demony powers."
Wesley answered with many reassurances and 'Dear Lords'. Whilst Wesley went through some possible ways to restore Angel's soul Cordelia slowed the car and pulled into the turning of a motel, 'the lucky lady'.
"No, Conner's fine, he's with me."
Cordelia answered Wesley's latest half-heard question.
"We're gonna stay at the motel in Santa Barbara. Will you tell Gunn and Fred, you all need to stay out of his way, make sure he doesn't hurt anyone, I dunno, maybe he isn't Angelus, maybe I'm just paranoid, but I have to be sure, for Conner's sake."
Wesley gave her his promise and started to say his goodbyes, but Cordelia interrupted.
"Oh, and Wes, tell Buffy, he might go after her again, she deserves to know if she's in danger."
"Of course." Wesley agreed.
By now Cordelia had parked and was waking Conner.
"Looks like we'll be staying her for a while hun."
-end authors notes.
*****
Conner had sat in stony silence for the first 20 minutes or so. The silence was broken only by Cordy's heavy breathing, and the occasional sniff of sadness from Conner at being woken up in the night and being rushed from his safe, warm home, away from his Father. The adrenaline was still pumping fast through her veins. Cordelia couldn't help but take a few anxious glances behind her to make sure they weren't being followed. Any sensible person would have waited for the safety of daylight to escape, but as she had lain in her bed that night the fear crept slowly upon her until all she could think of was getting far, far away from the hyperion with her son, away from the monster that was his Father, and her beloved.
It was inevitable Conner would question her actions some time; he was a bright young boy, for a five year old. So it came as no surprise when he piped up.
"Where are we going Mommy?"
Cordelia smiled her bravest smile for him.
"Somewhere nice and sunny." She put a happy accent on her words, made it sound like they were going on a nice road trip together. Conner looked sceptically at the darkness around him, the only 'sun' was the neon glow coming from the seedy bar they were speeding past.
"Are we going to the beech?" He was unsure of his words and a little frightened by the strange situation he found him self in.
"No Conner, not the beech, somewhere… different, far away. From Daddy."
The little boy's face scrunched up in confusion. Cordelia sighed; he didn't need to say anything for her to know she should explain further, with a sigh she struggled to explain.
"Daddy did something very bad Conner, and, and we have to go away for a while until Daddy is good again, understand?" The young boy nodded and watched the world fly by the window.
"Mommy?"
"Yes Conner?"
"Are you driving too fast?"
"Um, well yeah."
"Isn't that bad?"
"Well, normally yes it is very bad and sometimes a nasty police man or woman will stop you and give you a ticket and then you have to give them money, which we need, which is why you mustn't go very fast in a car unless its very important."
Conner once again nodded. He thought for a little while about the complexities of the world before speaking up again.
"You always tell Daddy off if he goes too fast. Even when it was really important like when Uncle Charlie had to go to the oraceles."
"Well that's different, I'm careful when I speed, Daddy just isn't. Besides I'm a bit upset right now Conner so I'm allowed to be irrational."
"Because Mommy has perwiod's?"
Cordelia couldn't help but smile a little at Conner's innocence; she really needed to stop subjecting the poor kid to her life philosophies. She mused that he wasn't even in kindergarten and he already knew all about vampires, demons, hell mouths and how cheap blondes were to be avoided at all costs.
Eventually her nerves calmed enough to allow her to slow down and Conner drifted off into a peaceful sleep, lulled there by the motion of the car and the purring of the engine. Dawn was just beginning to break and Cordelia felt herself become slowly wearier, she gathered she was around 145 kilometres from LA by now, just approaching Santa Barbara, was that enough distance? He'd come after them once he realised they were gone, of that much she was sure. She expected this really, when Conner was just a few months old he had almost been lost, the resurrected vampire hunter Holtz had stolen him From Wesley and nearly taken him to a hell dimension, if she hadn't come back from holiday just then… ...
... …Cordelia screamed as Saihjhan opened the portal to Quor'toth. It was her vision all over again but this time it was more terrifying, because it was really happening, Conner was really being taken away. Groo beside her in her hastily parked jeep tried to restrain her. He could not. She leapt from the safety of the jeep and hurtled forward. She saw Angel be hurled backwards by a bolt of lightening and Holtz step through the portal. She screamed again, in terror as the reality of the situation struck home, she fell to her knees, arms reaching to Sahjhan. From those arms a white light erupted, her eyes grew wide in shock as the beam destroyed Sahjhan and closed the portal, Holtz was thrown backwards, landing hard and probably breaking his neck in the process. Conner was thrown up in the air, his white baby blanket slipping from under him. Cordelia sobbed as he fell to the ground, sure that the impact would crush his tiny body. Angel was up and rushing towards him, the others, too shocked to act. Every thing seemed to be moving in slow motion. He wouldn't make it the baby would still die. Cordy closed her eyes to shut out the sight. She didn't hear any screams, or Angel's cries as she had in the vision; she cracked on eye open, then both, unable to believe the sight. The baby was floating mere inches from the ground, gurgling to himself. Cordelia smiled and the baby dropped harmlessly to the ground. "Way to go demon me." she muttered. Conner was now crying and Angel was laughing as he held him in his arms, with relief and joy. Cordelia stood and went to Angel's side to smile down on Conner. Angel thanked her with a kiss that lasted perhaps too long for people who were just friends... ...
... …They waited nearly a year after that day before doing the 'deed', having sex. They'd been so scared they'd practically fumbled through and unlike most people her age instead of a condom for protection Cordelia took some holy water and a stake with her. Angel had been so happy when he hadn't lost his soul he almost put it at risk. Angel was smiling a lot lately and whilst he wasn't perfectly happy he was very, very content. The years went by and Conner began to crawl and walk and talk, and play miniature hockey; Well sort of. Who would have thought such a simple thing as a school assignment would have released Angelus… ...
... … Conner's class had to talk about their hero, after class had come home to tell a beaming Angel and I that he had chosen us, he had been the only boy in his class to choose his parents. He looked up into Angel's eyes with such devotion and love tears of joy came to my eyes. Conner said, "Daddy, you Mommy are the best Mommy and Daddy in the whole world." Conner skipped off as I turned with a grin to find Angel hunched over toward the floor. I knew, I just knew today was the day we had all been dreading. Eventually Angel stood up. His eyes had a strange watery look, he gave me a weak smile, I could hear him breathing, see a slight sheen of perspiration on his upper lip. I had to believe he was still him, what else could I have done? I called his name, worried. He looked at me confused before something passed over his eyes and a slow smile spread over his lips. He blinked once slowly, enjoying the sensation of the world slowly changing to blackness. Then he came forward, powerful in the one stride it took to reach me and pull me close. "I'm fine," his smile spread, "Better than fine." He kissed me, passionately, as he always did, but there was something else there, an insistency, like it was the first time we'd kissed. It lasted far too long for just a normal kiss. As he pulled away I gasped for breath and frowned lightly at him, my eyes boring into his, searching. He caressed my cheek. "Cor, you worry too much." I stood mouthing my new nickname to my self "Cor?" as I watched him saunter upstairs.
The day went as usual, at the end of it Angel investigations went home and Angel and I tucked Conner into bed. That night Angel was so insistent about making love, like, he needed it so bad or something, it worried me, so I shrugged him off. He shouted at me, nothing bad, more and angry grunt, or much more terrifyingly, a growl. He fell asleep in the end, his hand resting on my breast, nose tucked into the crook of my neck. I had to repress a sob. I knew what he was now I couldn't deny it. I eased out of bed as soon as I felt I could. Sneaking around our creaky bedroom was so incredibly scary, all I wanted to do was fall down and cry, but I had to get my son out of there and away as fast as I could, before we couldn't. Before he decided not to let us. The hinges on the wardrobe seemed like tomcats screeching and I jumped when a car drove past outside and its light shone on his slumbering figure. I had to silence Conner when I woke him to stop him crying, we took his favourite bear with us, A vampire slayer bear that Dawn had made for him on his fourth birthday… ...
... …Cordelia's thoughts snapped back to the present and she realised she was slipping off into the land of nod. Shaking her self-awake she suddenly thought of warning her friends. Wesley, she'd call Wesley. She reached for her hands free cell-phone and hit the speed dial for Wes. There was a pregnant silence before the connections struck home and the phone started ringing, impatiently she growled out "Pick up the phone, Wes, pick up the phone." Eventually a groggy sounding Wesley answered. "Hello?" "Wesley, oh Thank God!"
"Cordelia, what's wrong, did you have a vision."
"Pfft, I wish!"
"Well then…"
"Oh Wes!" She couldn't help herself she broke into quiet sobs, Wesley waited for her to calm down.
"I'm on the freeway Wesley, I had to get out of there."
"Did- did you and Angel have a-a fight? Or er…" Dealing with hysterical Cordelia after she got pissed at Angel had never been his strong point.
"No. No, I, oh, God." She had to bite the bullet sometime.
"He's, I think, he's. Wesley I think Angelus is back."
Stunned silence was her companion's only reply. Cordelia pressed on. "It's, well Conner said something today, well yesterday now and it, Angel was so happy, but them he was on the floor and he looked so strange, and it was like, he wasn't Angel anymore, but he didn't do anything like, evil, but I know, somehow, I just know that he's not… Maybe it's my demony powers."
Wesley answered with many reassurances and 'Dear Lords'. Whilst Wesley went through some possible ways to restore Angel's soul Cordelia slowed the car and pulled into the turning of a motel, 'the lucky lady'.
"No, Conner's fine, he's with me."
Cordelia answered Wesley's latest half-heard question.
"We're gonna stay at the motel in Santa Barbara. Will you tell Gunn and Fred, you all need to stay out of his way, make sure he doesn't hurt anyone, I dunno, maybe he isn't Angelus, maybe I'm just paranoid, but I have to be sure, for Conner's sake."
Wesley gave her his promise and started to say his goodbyes, but Cordelia interrupted.
"Oh, and Wes, tell Buffy, he might go after her again, she deserves to know if she's in danger."
"Of course." Wesley agreed.
By now Cordelia had parked and was waking Conner.
"Looks like we'll be staying her for a while hun."