JUST A ONE SHOT OF WHAT I THOUGHT BRIEN WAS THINKING IN THIS SCENE AT THE END OF THE SECOND EPISODE

"Your 17 I'm 28"

"29"

He reminds me with a small smile. And looking at him I can't help but smile back.

Wait what the fuck am I thinking? I'm suppost to be taking care of this. Not giving him any hope, I can't be smiling.

But that look, ah it could melt the coldest of hearts.

"Alright then 29. All the more reason. Now go do your homework"

I push away from his car and start walking backwards, away from him.

As he sees me get further away I watch the impact of my words hit him right in the face. His eyes start to tear up and he turns away to cry in the car, where I can't see.

And I'm not going to lie, this feeling I am getting right now, this feeling sucks.

I just don't get why this was so difficult.

I mean when ever a trick developed a crush before I told them to fuck off and that was the end of it.

I had broken their spirit, they were done.

But not him.

Not Justin.

Why not Justin?

Was it because he was a virgin?

Maybe.

He is the first virgin I have ever had. Even when I was a virgin, the guy I was with had experience. Hell that virgin excuse even got me to reveal my first time to him.

So yeah it's because he was a virgin, he's developed a crush, that's normal.

But what if it was something else.

I mean he did come with me to meet me son, and oh yeah he named him.

Why did I do that again? Bring him to the hospital I mean.

Was it because of his 'sleepover with a friend' story. Or did I just not have the heart to tell him no? Or maybe it was just what I told Mikey, 'He's got nowhere else to go.'

Yeah that's it, it's because I didn't have anyplace to dump him.

Only that's not true. I could've left him at the diner, Deb would've taken care of him. But what ever that's beside the point.

So yeah maybe he's attached to me through my son. And of course through me because we had sex.

Now there in lies the question I have yet to find an answer for.

Why after we left the hospital did I insist he come with me?

I mean yeah I was high but I wasn't extremely out of it. I could've picked up another trick in my condition. And what did I care if he got in trouble with his parents?

The only answer that I can come up with that will make me sound like a human being, is unfortunately the same reason that makes me sound like a dickless little pussy.

I wanted to give him a pleasant first time.

See told you it would make me sound sappy.

But it's true. My first wasn't so great. I mean yeah we both got off, but as soon as it was over I got up, soaking wet and ran away. He just turned around and got back to his shower. It was horrible.

I didn't want Justin to think of his first time like that.

But at least if I kept him with me, deflowered him myself, it would guarantee him a pleasant memory. And not just because of my reputation, but because I knew I wouldn't make him uncomfortable, or hurt him in anyway.

So maybe it's all these reasons, maybe it's none of them, that are causing this feeling.

But deep down I know there is one thing that will always be true from now until the end of time.

I will never make Justin cry again.