! PLEASE READ! Hey guys! I know I just kind of disappeared and took my stories with me a while back. I had a lot of personal and family issues going on and I took some time to myself to deal with those. Things are still a bit rocky with my grandpa, and have been for quite some time. Honestly, I'm not sure if things with him will ever be the same. That's a one day at a time kind of thing. However, other issues in my life seem to be picking up! I've got a new job as of a few hours ago, and this morning my precious baby niece is finally here! I'm so in love with her, and you all best believe my ass will be there to love her and spoil her as soon as I get off work tomorrow!

But enough of me, as I said above, I know I just kind of disappeared off the face of the planet. I can't thank you all enough for the messages and kind words I received after leaving. I logged on the other day and all the messages seriously made me cry. You all rock. I hope I haven't burned any bridges, but I would really like to upload all my old fics, as well as a new Linstead fic I am thinking on. You guys let me know where I can go from there. I'm going to go off your guys' thoughts and wishes.

I'll shut up now, I'm going to go channel my new found excitement into some writing for you guys! Please let me know what you all think! Xoxo

"Whoa Erin," My roommate and best friend, Nadia, says barely giving me time to step into the kitchen. She sits at the island, her mouth full of cereal and all but shoves the newspaper into my hands. "It's Jay!" She glances up at me, her jaw on the table. At the mention of his name, I feel my heart skip a beat.

"Hmm, it is." I confirm my eyes never leaving the paper that was now laying in front of me on the counter. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the picture of my ex boyfriend and his new fiancé that accompanied the announcement of their engagement.

They were the picture perfect couple that he and I never were. She was gorgeous, with dark brown wavy hair and bright blue eyes. She came up to his chin, and he stood behind her with his arms wrapped tightly around her waist as his chin rested on top of her head. She was snuggled back into his embrace and looked perfect, despite the fact that they were standing on a boat, out on the water from what I can gather in the background. The smile he wore, that still takes my breath away even after all this time, said it all. He was truly happy, and I felt as if someone were stabbing me in the gut with a thousand knives.

She was the polar opposite of what I ever imagined him with, the daughter of a politician. He had never been that kind of guy. He was a rebel without a cause, staying out all night partying, midnight dirt bike racing out on the old country back roads, and sneaking booze into his mom's attic where we spent all of our time perfecting our fake ID's, all the while we had his mom convinced that we were studying. He hated dressing up, if it didn't involve jeans and those damn boots, he wasn't interested. And our senior prom? Ha, that was an adventure. After countless fights, he gave in and allowed his mom and I to dress him, but only if he could wear his boots. We reluctantly agreed, despite the fact he looked ridiculous. I still shutter when I look at the picture, all these years later.

And to look at the picture of him now, it is like looking at a completely different person. He wore khakis and a sweater; his unruly curly hair pushed back and more tamed than it had been when we were growing up. Long gone were his ball cap and those hideous boots. He was more grown up, more mature looking. Not that it was a bad thing, he looked amazing. He was more put together than I had ever seen him. He had a dark scruffy look to him, and it was working for him... and me.

I let out a sigh as I shove the paper back to Nadia and walk over to the counter. She begins to read the article once more as I make myself a cup of coffee. After the long week I had at work, this was not helping in the least bit and I was in dire need of coffee, if not something stronger. Why was it only 7 am?

"How in the hell did he of all people end up with the daughter of a damn senator?" Nadia mumbles, her eyes not leaving the article in front of her. "Do you know how much money this bitch probably has?"

I roll my eyes at her as I move to sit down across from her. She doesn't even notice my presence as I bring the cup up to my mouth, instead she just continues on venting. "Like how in the hell do you manage that and where can I get me a son of a politician? Oh my god, they're getting married at Meyer's Castle." Her jaw drops as she glances up at me. "How in the hell is he affording that on a detective salary?"

I laugh bitterly as I glance around my apartment. Working in the same line of work, I can assure you that wasn't in his budget. "He's not; clearly her daddy is paying for the affair."

"Must be nice," Nadia mumbles, turning back to the article. "I'm so jealous of this bitch and her life right now."

"You have no idea..." I mumble, pushing my cup away and standing up. I was sick of this discussion and I needed an out. "I'm heading to work, I'll see you there."

I saw your picture in a paper, Honeymoon in Jamaica, she's a lucky girl
You look so grown up in your black tux, from a ball cap in a pickup, seems like another world
You and me and our big dreams, falling in love
We were two kids in the backseat, all fearless and young

"Heads up everyone," Comes the booming voice of Hank Voight, as he makes his way up the steps into the unit.

I glance up from my file that I was working on and I notice Antonio doing the same next to me. Ruzek and Atwater walk out of the break room, both with a steaming cup of coffee in their hands. Olinsky glances up to Voight, leaning back in his chair, while Nadia makes quick to end her call, stuff her phone away on her desk and turn to face Voight. "I want to introduce you all to the newest member of our unit." He starts, and I roll my eyes, turning back to my chart. I was not interested in a new member to this unit in the least bit. If this one was anything like the last one, he or she would be gone by the end of the day.

"Everyone, this is Detective Jay Halstead, he is joining us from Narcotics."

As soon as the name leaves his mouth, my heart stops and my head jerks up so fast that I'm sure I suffer from whiplash. Jay claps Hank on the shoulder, thanking him before glancing around the room, offering a warm smile.

Nadia and I manage to exchange glances, her eyes wide, before he catches my eye. He holds my eye for a minute and offers a small nod and a slight smile, completely melting me into a puddle of goo, before he turns back to Hank.

Feeling the burn of my cheeks, I quickly glance back down at the file in front of me, pretending to read it as Voight continues on. I only rejoin the unit when I hear my name. "I'm sorry what?" I ask, glancing up at Voight.

He raises an eyebrow at me and nods toward Jay. "I said, Jay can take the desk across from you, considering he is your new partner."

"My new partner?" I ask my heart beating out of my chest. "What about Atwater? We can't leave him partner-less!"

"First off," Voight says walking toward his office. He stops outside the door and turns to face me. "Atwater is a big boy and can handle himself, and second, he is now with Dawson, leaving you free to go with Halstead. Is there a problem Lindsay?"

I shake my head and glance over at Jay, who was already sitting at the desk across from me, watching me closely. "No sir."

"Good." He glances between Jay and I before turning to walk in his office. "Back to work."

I got the first kiss and she'll get the last
She's got the future, I got the past
I got the class ring, she got the diamond and wedding band
I got the boy, she got the man

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Nadia shouts, as she makes her way across the parking lot of the school toward the car of her boyfriend, who had the job of getting her home safely tonight. She was half lit, having snuck in a bottle of Jack Daniels to the home football game.

I chuckle as I watch Jordan, her boyfriend, try to direct her into the car. "Don't worry Nadia, I won't!" I yell back and watch as Jordan finally manages to get her in the car, seatbelt in, and shuts the door. He waves to us, and both Jay and I wave back as he climbs in the driver's side and drives off.

Jay chuckles and turns to me. "How much did she drink exactly?" he asks, as he opens the door to his truck for me to climb in.

"Oh I'd say she drank at least three fourths of the bottle." I giggle and he shakes his head, laughing. He shuts the door and runs around the truck before climbing in the driver's side and starting it up.

"Let me guess, you finished it off for her?" He asks, glancing over at me, eyebrows rose.

I turn to him, and raise an eyebrow back at him. This causes him to chuckle, and I give in, laughing along with him. "Well of course. She was drunk, and acting like an idiot and the principal was making his way toward us, what was I supposed to do?"

He pulls the truck out of the parking lot and starts down the highway, still laughing. "Oh the trouble you two get into."

I roll my eyes playfully and glance out the window as the night zips past us. "Oh please Jay, you're the worst of us all."

"No arguments there." He chuckles, reaching over and grabbing my hand. I glance at him to find him looking at me. He shoots me a wink before intertwining our fingers. I feel my cheeks turn red and glance back out the window, a giant smile on my face.

We drive in comfortable silence for a good ten minutes before coming to a stop. We were at his grandfather's old lake. Not many people come out here anymore, since his grandfather died a few years back. Jay has made a point to spend every summer since then out here, keeping it up by mowing and such. It was a nice, peaceful place to be and I loved coming out here with him. It gave us plenty of privacy.

Without saying a word, Jay puts the truck in park, reaches into the backseat to grab a blanket and then jumps out of the truck. I grab the food I had packed and join him. We walk hand in hand across the land, him only letting go of my hand long enough to set the stuff down. He lays the blanket down in front of a giant tree and then sits down, his back to the tree. I move to sit in front of him. We spend the next couple of hours, eating our dinner, talking and enjoying the peacefulness that this place brings us.

Earlier after eating, I had relaxed back into his arms and snuggled in his embrace as he leant his head on my shoulder, whispering in my ear. He made no sense, and was random with his rambling and whispering incoherent things in my ear, causing me to laugh. After a while, his voice lulls me to a point where I am almost asleep.

"Erin," He mumbles, and I stir slightly, having been just about asleep in his arms.

"Yeah Jay?"

"I have something for you." He whisper, and I finally open my eyes. I glance down to his right hand and watch as he pulls his class ring off of his finger. "Now, I know this will be too big for you, but I want you to have this." He starts, as I stare down at the ring in his hand. My heart was beating a million miles a minute.

"Erin, I love you more than anyone or anything on this planet. I know, we're young, and I don't want anything out of this except for you to know exactly how much I do love you. Would I mind still being with you, and marrying you after high school? Hell yeah, I would. Nothing would make me happier… but I also know you are only sixteen years old, and we are nowhere near ready for that. We both have so much to do with our lives and I want us to do them. But I do want to marry you one day Erin Lindsay. So, as a promise to you that one day I will do just that, will you keep this safe for me?"

With tears in my eyes, I turn around in his grip and take his face in my hands. "Jay Halstead, you are such a piece of work, but you are my piece of work. I love you so much, and I would love nothing more than to keep this safe for you." I say taking the ring from him and holding it tightly in my hand. I glance down at it, a permanent smile on my face, before glancing back up at him. He was watching me, a content smile on his face as well. I take one more glance at the ring before leaning in and crushing my lips to his.

Yeah there's an old you that I knew,
Fake IDs to get into those spring break bars
Back woods on a four wheel, hanging on tight, I can still feel my racing heart
And now you're cleaned up with a haircut, nice tie and shoes
If things were different and I had a choice, which would I choose?

"And how exactly are we going to get in there?" I ask, turning to glance at Jay, before turning back and looking at the night club, which was clearly in full swing at 2 am. We were currently in Florida for Spring Break of our senior year with a group of our friends. It took a lot of convincing, but we had finally got all our parents to agree to let us come, but only on the promise that we wouldn't do anything stupid.

And of course, Jay was the first to break that rule.

"With these beauties." He says, matter of factly, as he holds up our fake ID's. "Erin, this is what we spent months working on them for."

"They are not going to work." I inform him, and he chuckles before moving to stand next to me. He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me into him.

"Yes, they will ok? Just watch." He quickly leans down and plants a kiss on my temple before leading me toward the bouncer, the rest of the group on his heels.

Right away, the bouncer holds his hand out to stop us. "Sorry, nobody under 21 admitted."

Jay rolls his eyes before handing the man both mine and his ID's. I bite my bottom lip as I watch the man study the ID's before glancing up at us and studying us as well. He does this back and forth for a few minutes, as Jay raises an eyebrow at him in question.

Eventually, the bouncer lets out a sigh and hands the ID's back to Jay before stepping aside and letting us in. "Have a good night."

Jay squeezes my shoulder and leads me toward the door as I hear Nadia squeal in excitement behind us as she was admitted with her boyfriend and the rest of the group. We all make our way inside the loud, crowded night club and we all head our separate ways. Nadia and her boyfriend head toward the dance floor while the rest of Jay's football buddies heads toward the bar. Jay grabs my arm and pulls me to an empty booth.

He pulls me in after him, and I snuggle into his side as he leans down to whisper in my ear. "Now what were you saying?"

I pull back and glance up at him, to find that adorable half smirk written all over his face. I can't help but laugh as I smack his shoulder. "Shut up Jay, I get it. You're a badass" This causes his smirk to grow and I roll my eyes playfully. "Go get me a drink already."

He winks at me before moving out of the booth. "Anything for you baby."

I got the first kiss and she'll get the last
She's got the future and I got the past
I got the class ring, she got the diamond and wedding band
I got the boy and she got the man

"Erin," Nadia shouts for the millionth time, as she continues to beat on the locked bedroom door. "Come on, he's fixing to leave. Do you really want to go out this way?"

She was right. Today, Jay was leaving for basic training for the Rangers and God only knew when he would be back. How had this summer gone by so fast? It feels like graduation was just yesterday, and now, Jay is leaving.

Reluctantly, I push myself off of my bed and walk over to the mirror hanging on my wall. I quickly redo my messy bun and make sure to wipe the smeared make up off my face so he didn't know I had been crying. He was already looking for every excuse to not leave today, and I knew if he saw me like this, he would never go. Once I was settled, I turn and make my way out of my bedroom, and past Nadia.

I make my way throughout the house and out the door to where he stood with his parents and my mother.

"There's my favorite girl!" He says a hint of sadness in his voice. I walk past everyone and run straight into his arms. I bump into him with such force that he almost falls over, but he quickly stands his ground and hugs me back tighter than I was him. "I was starting to think you weren't coming to say goodbye to me."

I keep my face buried in his chest, taking in the scent that was him. "Just hold me Jay." I say, as my tears soak his shirt.

I feel him reach up and run his hand over my hair as he places kiss after kiss on my temple. "I love you so much Erin, so so much."

I cry harder and tighten my grip on his shirt, not wanting to let him go, but knowing it was coming.

He somehow manages to pry my head from his chest and he holds my head in his hands. He leans down so we were eye level. "Hey baby, calm down. It is only a few months then I will be home with you alright? Then it's you and me for the rest of our lives. Remember?"

I stay silent, and nod to him, my eyes never leaving his. My tears were streaming down my face at this point, and he gives me sad smile as he tries to wipe them away. It was no use.

He leans in and plants his lips on mine softly as his father announces it was time for them to go, or they would be late.

He sighs and leans down, locking eyes with me once again. "I love you baby girl."

I choke out a sob, as I reply. "I love you too."

He reaches forward and runs his thumb across his high school ring, which hung on a neckless around my neck, considering it was too big to fit my hand. A small smile forms on his lips. "You remember what this means okay? I'm coming back for you, and you're going to be mine forever. Keep it safe ok?"

I nod, and he shoots me a wink before leaning down and kissing me one last time.

Reluctantly, we pull away and he gives me one last squeeze before dropping his arms and making his way toward his parents' car.

I stand back and watch him, waving to him until the car disappears down the road and out of sight. Once he was gone, I break down and feel Nadia's arms around me. I allow her to pull me in the house, where I cry myself to sleep.

That was the last time I ever saw him. I still don't know how it happened. We spent the first two months of his training writing back and forth until his letters got fewer and lesser between. Eventually, they stopped all together. I was heartbroken, but I knew it was for the best. I was never meant to be an army wife anyways.

So, as a way to move on with my life, I applied to the academy and was accepted. I graduated at the top of my class and landed this gig working for Voight not long after. Eight years later, I'm still here, and I'm kicking ass if I must say so myself.

With a heavy sigh, I push my chair away from my desk and move to walk into the break room for a much needed cup of coffee. This was my fourth since reading that article this morning.

I close my eyes and sigh internally when I hear footsteps approaching. I don't even have to turn around to know it was Jay. He had been eyeing me ever since he walked up onto this floor.

"Hey." He says softly as I turn around to face him.

"Hey," I reply, raising an eyebrow at him.

"How have you been?" He asks, reaching for a empty coffee mug and filling it to the brim.

I shake my head, stopping him right away. "No Jay, we aren't doing this. "

He opens his mouth to speak, but I hold my hand up telling him to stop once more. "No Jay, okay? We can't do this. We are partners, and nothing else. Everything we had in the past?" I ask him, reaching up and slipping off the necklace that I had worn underneath my clothes for the last ten years, and handing it to him. "It's gone. Its history. We are partners, nothing more."

And with that, I turn and walk out of the break room, leaving him standing alone. I take my seat at my desk and glance to the break room to find him still staring down at the ring in his hand, before he glances over his shoulder at me. I quickly advert my gaze across the room and catch Nadia's eye.

She discretely gives me a wink and a nod, encouraging me that I was doing the right thing.

And I settle back in my seat knowing that I was. Jay Halstead was not the boy that I had fallen in love with a little over ten years ago. That boy was gone, and he was now a man. A man I no longer knew. Brittany, that is her name by the way, she gets the man, but I got the boy.