Is It Enough?
Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, the characters, or the events that had occurred in the manga or anime that have been referred to here. The only thing I own is the plot and idea for this fan fiction.
Chapter 1: Mistake
Love, he had said before. It wasn't lust. Not a one night stand or anything. It was love. It was hard to believe that someone could actually love a person like me. But he said he did. And I believed him. Maybe I was just too blind to see anything…. Or maybe a part of me just wanted to play dumb. After all, I do not think there is a person who would not want to be loved… then again… maybe I'm just fooling myself.
Edward Elric walked towards the military headquarters. He had a report to pass and he knew that Colonel Mustang was going to insult him again. It was as though things were back to the way they were…. However, Alphonse wasn't around to be with Ed.
When they had returned to Amestris, Alphonse and Ed had stayed with Winry and Aunt Pinako. Winry and Alphonse started dating after a few months despite the age gap due to Al being restored as a ten–year–old back then. Edward didn't mind that Al and Winry were together but he did miss a certain someone and after a few months, decided to return to the military. Needless to say, Alphonse opposed the idea. It was understandable yet… Ed couldn't bring himself to tell Al why he wanted to return to the military. In the end, he left and Al had refused to talk to Ed ever since.
When Ed returned to the military, he found out that Roy Mustang was still a Colonel. He always thought the man would get a higher rank but then, he never did get the chance to ask because that time, they had pressing matters to take care of and Ed left to destroy the gate. But that wasn't the only thing puzzling Edward. What was strange was that Hawkeye, Havoc, Fury, and all the others still worked under the Colonel even though they should also have had higher positions already. At least ranking that's high enough to get them to have their own office and not work for the Colonel. It was Hawkeye who explained to Ed what had happened while he was gone. Apparently, Roy had been demoted to Corporal after he had killed King Bradley. However, when Ed first returned from the other side of the gate, Roy had also returned to Central and did a lot in ridding the world of those troublemakers who came from the other side. Apparently, the Fuhrer at that time saw Roy's potential and talked the man into returning to his old position. Since then, Roy had been working hard and had finally been promoted to Colonel just as Ed and Al found their way back to this world. Hawkeye and the others did have a change in rank but they had requested to work under the Colonel and have been doing so ever since. Not that they ever stopped working for the Colonel. They were loyal that way. Perhaps it was also to complete their team but when Ed returned, he was still given the rank of Major, similar to his rank before. Havoc had even joked that it was unfair for Edward to keep his rank when the Colonel had to work for his. But thinking about it, not counting the strangeness in the situation considering the mismatched ranks, things seemed like they were before. It was really as though time made no difference.
Ed sighed as he reached the door to the Colonel's office.
'Well, here goes nothing,' Ed opened the door, prepared for any insults about his height. However, the sight that greeted him was something that he had not expected though it should have been no surprise to him.
Roy Mustang was flirting with a skimpily dressed woman. Said Colonel had the woman sitting on his lap and the woman giggled at something the Colonel had said. How the woman was able to enter the office without getting shot by Hawkeye was a wonder.
Ed fumed and was about to close the door when the Colonel's voice stopped him.
"Sorry I didn't see you there, Fullmetal," Roy smirked. "It's kind of hard for me to see you with these papers on the–!"
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT A TINY SHEET OF PAPER WOULD SQUASH HIM?!" Edward yelled, startling the woman who was still on the Colonel's lap.
"My, what a sign of disrespect!" the woman exclaimed. "Aren't you supposed to show a little respect to your elders, little boy?"
Edward's eyebrow twitched a bit but before he could explode, Roy quickly interrupted.
"Maya, I have to get to work now," Roy said. "I'll see you next time, okay?"
"Sure, Roy," the woman, apparently called Maya, giggled. "I'll give you a discount again the next time you come to buy flowers. I'm sure the little girl in the hospital will never forget your kindness, bringing her flowers everyday."
"She'll never forget your kindness for giving her an extra rose," Roy smiled charmingly before the woman exited the office.
When the woman was clearly out of the military grounds, Roy finally turned to the blonde alchemist.
"Well?" Roy smirked, waiting for the blonde to get angry about being called short.
"Here's the report you want, bastard," Edward threw the report at Roy.
"I'm sure you've made minimal damages this time," Roy said sarcastically, eyes scanning through the report though not really absorbing any of the information in it.
Ed bristled.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE WON'T BE NOTICED EVEN IF HE HAD JUST DESTROYED A WHOLE PIER?!" Ed screamed at the Colonel. Ed suddenly gulped when he realized what he had just said.
"What?" Roy suddenly placed the report down the table, resting his hands on the table and leaning forward. "You destroyed a whole pier?"
Never mind the damages that Fullmetal had caused long time ago. Those were all buildings anyway. But to destroy a whole pier? Of all the important places to destroy….
"Fullmetal, can't you ever do a mission without destroying anything?" Roy asked, trying to keep his temper in check but failing as he scolded Edward. "The military may be able to pay for the damages but consider the effect this certain damage will make! The pier is one of the most important places in a certain country! I would have thought you were old enough to actually make proper decisions! Can't you think about your actions like an adult or does your age actually match your little stature?"
"And I supposed you're adult enough to make the right decisions?" Ed bit back, hotly.
"Probably not since I keep getting you out of trouble!" Roy retorted.
"Then it probably explains why you still lie like an amateur kid!" Ed yelled, a bit hurt at Roy's words but not showing it.
"Who's lying?" Roy's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. He was seriously tempted to snap his fingers and fry the small alchemist in front of him if it could only help the man think better.
"You are, you bastard!" Ed clenched his hands into fists. "Otherwise, those flowers I find in my dorm every night would have been in the hospital for the little girl! Unless you think of me as that little girl!"
"Ed," Roy sighed, massaging his forehead. So the blonde was jealous. "Ed, you know I love you, right?"
"Do I?" Ed's voice wavered. "You can't even tell her the truth. You can't even tell her that you already have someone. It can't be because of the law because I'm no longer underage. And it can't be the Fuhrer because his own General is involved with another guy."
"Ed," Roy tried to explain. "There are circumstances. And I have a reputation to keep."
"Oh, so it's just the reputation?" Ed asked, enraged.
Roy glared at Edward.
"Maybe you don't care about your reputation but I do about mine! I told you that I don't mean anything I say to those women so why can't you trust me? If you don't trust me, then I suggest you leave."
"You don't mean that," Ed said.
"Yes, I do," Roy said, coldly. "I'm tired of trying to talk my way out of things every time you mess up simply because you can't contain your jealousy."
Edward gritted his teeth but didn't lunge at the Colonel. Instead, he turned and left the office, tears threatening to spill. He noticed Hawkeye, Havoc, Breda, Fuery, and Falman looking at him. He just glared at them.
"What are you looking at?" he growled but didn't wait for their answer.
"Hey–!" Havoc started but was interrupted.
"Shut up," Ed muttered, slamming the door as he left.
Havoc and the others, with the exception of Hawkeye, looked at each other. Then, they looked at the Colonel's office. This was one of the few times that the Colonel and the blonde alchemist got into a serious fight and they wondered how long it will take for the two to make up this time. So far, the longest record had been two days.
"Taisa did it bad this time," Havoc muttered. A small click got his attention off the argument between the Colonel and Edward. He looked up to see the barrel of Hawkeye's gun a few meters in front of his face. "Okay, I'm going back to work and shutting up now."
He quickly went back to work.
Riza Hawkeye placed her gun down and looked at the door Edward had slammed shut. It was true that the Colonel and the Major had constant arguments. In fact, it was already a usual occurrence every time the blonde alchemist would come to report. It's also true that they have had serious quarrels… but why did it seem different now?
Edward just stayed on the ground. He was sitting outside an abandoned warehouse. Since the warehouse was still part of the military, Ed didn't have to worry about civilians seeing him, and since the warehouse was no longer being used, Ed didn't have to worry about anyone in the military finding him there. In short, he could be alone.
…. If you don't trust me, then I suggest you leave…..
Edward clenched his hands into fists as he remembered the Colonel's words.
…. I'm tired of trying to talk my way out of things every time you mess up simply because you can't contain your jealousy….
"Contain my jealousy, huh?" Edward muttered bitterly. "If only that were easy. If it were, I wouldn't be the only one with the problem."
Maybe it was his fault. Even at his age, he still couldn't control his temper. He still got mad even at the slightest comment regarding his height. So perhaps he really needed to grow up. But then… but… was he not justified for getting angry this time?
Ed curled up and buried his head in his knees, which he hugged close. He didn't have anyone to talk to now. Al was mad at him because he joined the military again even though he didn't need to. He never told Al the reason and only Winry knows. Women's intuition probably. Nevertheless, he told her to keep it a secret because he didn't want Al to know it. Otherwise, his brother might come after Mustang if the man ever hurt Ed. Ed knew that he and the Colonel kept bickering so he didn't want Al to mistake it as the Colonel hurting Ed. After all, Ed usually made things worse. Another reason, and probably the most important, why Ed didn't tell Al was that he didn't want Al to think badly of him. How will Al react when he finds out that his older brother loves another man? So Ed didn't say anything to Al and his silence made his brother angry. Ed lost his brother because he wanted to be closer to Roy. And now? He didn't even have that. The reason he joined the military was no longer clear in his mind.
'I guess,' Ed thought, smiling bitterly, 'I made a mistake.'
TBC
Author's Notes: I actually had another story planned even before this fic came to mind. This, however, was the first I had started to write since I never wrote down the first idea I had. This is my first attempt at FMA fan fiction so I'm afraid I'm not so good. I do hope you all enjoyed reading though. Please leave a reviewif you have the time!