The Forgotten
Squish! Squish! The Illusive man was pinching his painfully flaccid wiener in the darkness, the only light coming from his monitor which had at least five windows of porn skidded across the screen. He tried ever so desperately to arouse himself, but his slap stick was as flaccid as Shepherd's stockings when Garrus wasn't using then as a bag for his semen, which he secretly emptied into her spaghetti to sate his many fetishes, which is why the food suddenly started to taste better. He sighed, running his illusive fingers through his brown, illusive hair, staring at his illusive balls which were as blue as Liara T'soni's waffle. He needed to get off, and fast. But the universe would not fix itself, and The Illusive Man had business to take care of, mainly, the collector base, which Shepherd had left as a special present for him from the Collector raid. He knew how important the facility was for humanity, but at the time he had no clue just how good it would have been for him…
The Illusive man, encased in his Illusive suit, took two of his best Illusive soldiers and ventured into the Collector base. They carefully walk through the derelict halls. Even though Shepherd had set a timed pulse which was supposed to kill all the Collectors, they couldn't help but feel something was there-"AAAAAAAAAAAH" The Illusive man quickly look over to his Illusive guard and he knew they weren't alone! To his suFRRRRR(thisis the part where he shat his pants)RRRTrprise, there were three collectors on each of his friends and (sorry guys I have to go now Carp will finish the story and I'll check it later k kisses!) dey wre hav boners! Da clecters were striping te hummans! Da hummens said "ohhhh" an den de Illussive man waas GRABED by da Clecters and dey TROW hem on da cround an mollest his peen! He were having a boner! The Illusive man new wat he nedded 2 do! He reched out wit his hans an hsi fet an he grabed all dere peens an he did da hotests seshual moov he knowed, da sno angel! He hadd much espeirience frum preschool wich he taped into in tish croshial momment! Wittin segunds day cammded all ovur him an he sproutd too thousand boners! He usded hes secrit biotics power taht he gat from toching da raper bacon and his real nayme was jack. Illussive man ussded his secrit biotics power which streeched his nippies an shuvd dem up da clector buthols an dey moand so much an den Kelly cHambers cam in and scream an ran out an dis is why she is scared for lif! An den da clectors com an den Jack was almosst comming an den Tali cam inand-OHH GOD TALI OOHHHHHHHH SLPPOOOOOOLSSHHHHHHHHHH!- Jack comded an da cum filded da roocm! Tali scremmed an dis is why she hat Surberus so mukh! Onli da Illusive man swam out an den Tali ran awai scremming curses at Surbuserus for geting her pregant an nedding an abortion. Jack wnet bak 2 da Curbeus shit an den he wnet back 2 hsi roocm, an smilld he lookded ovur at a Clector wich he tookded form th Clector shit. He smilld becaz he wenever he was honry he nao had sumone to molest. He grew anoheter bonr an he waklded ovur to da trmbling clectorz cage wile pitching his nipples. Tis was gong 2 be a vrey long nite….