It's been awhile, I know. I've been so busy with my senior stuff. And getting ready for college! Anywho, I just kind of felt the need to write today, and this is what I came up with. I'm not sure where it's headed. But we'll see.
They're not mine. I wish they were.
She had been staring at the paper in front of her for nearly an hour. Her pen was positioned in her hand as if she were writing. But the paper was blank. the blue lines began to wave. She put her pen down and laid her head on the desk.
The faint "thud" startled Elliot. "You all right, Liv?" he asked, looking up from his computer.
Olivia sat back up quickly. "Yes. I just have a headache." It wasn't really a lie- she was feeling a slight sting in her right temple.
"From what?"
"The truth?" The truth is that I somehow need to tell you that I'm leaving again for awhile. And I can't because I know how you're going to react. "The truth is that it's my time of the month." Once again, it was not really a lie. It was supposed to happen the next day.
"A day early? That's not like you."
Olivia was not sure if she should be amused or concerned at how well he knew her.
Back to the letter.
She picked up her pen and once again stared at her blank paper. Dear Elliot...
"You must be really stressed," Elliot was trying hard to make conversation.
Olivia looked up at him with questioning eyes.
"I mean, you're, uh, early, we haven't talked in awhile, and you're being awfully quiet today."
"It's a bad day." Olivia shrugged. "I just want it to be over."
"Liv, I know something's going on that you're not telling me." Olivia ignored him and continued writing. Somehow, the more Elliot talked- the more angrier she became- the more she could write.
Elliot stood up and walked to her side of the desk. Olivia leaned in slightly, her body covering the now-filled paper.
"Liv, you always talk to me when something's wrong. Please don't let this time be different."
Guilt crept through Olivia's body at the sound of his voice. How could she do this to him? Again?
------
"HELP ME! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"
Olivia frantically looked around for where the voice was coming from. It was a child's voice. A young child's voice.
"Hello?" Olivia shouted back. "Where are you?" Silence. "My name's Olivia. I'm a police officer and I'm here to help. But I need to know where you are."
Bang, bang, bang.
Her eyes squeezed shut. Someone was with the child. Someone shot a gun with the child in the room. Olivia walked to the stairs. "Hello? Please say something." Step. "I can't help you unless you answer me." Step. Step. Step. "Please?" Step. Step. Tears were beginning to make her vision fuzzy. "Please?" Her voice was now a whisper.
"HEEELP MEEE!!" The voice seemed closer yet softer. Bang, bang.
Olivia crept up the rest of the stairs. When she reached the top floor, she walked until she heard a faint rustling sound. She slowly pulled out her gun, hiding outside the door frame.
"POLICE! DROP YOUR WEAPON!" She jumped into the middle of the door frame, only to find herself face-to-face with a gun and a ma behind it.
"You shoot me and I'll shoot you right back."
Olivia glanced around the man to try and see the child.
"Oh, Vanessa? She's dead. She wouldn't shut up. So I made her."
A sharp intake of breath seemed to startle the man. "You shut up, too. I hope you're ready to do exactly as I say. Otherwise, you can say goodbye to your life. Now. Go sit on the bed."
Olivia made her way around the man and sat down on the bed. He followed her movements with his gun.
"Unbutton your shirt."
Olivia unbuttoned the top two buttons of her shirt, again squeezing her eyes shut.
"All the way."
She slowly continued with each button. The man grew impatient. He walked over to Olivia and ripped the rest of the buttons off, ruining the blouse.
"Stand up."
She stood, her face about two inches from the man's. He leaned in closer.
"I want you to kiss me. I want you. Period."
Her head moved in closer to his, as if she were going to kiss him back. Just as their lips were barely touching, she lifted her leg and kneed his groin. He fell back onto the floor, grabbing himself.
"YOU BITCH! YOU BITCH!"
Olivia ran. The man managed to stand back up and follow her. She ran faster. When she reached the stairs, he began shooting at her. "YOU BITCH! I'M GOING TO GET YOU! I AM GOING TO GET YOU IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!!!!"
Olivia ran out of the house and into her own home. She needed to leave SVU. She needed a new identity, a new look, a new life.
-----
Olivia sat up. "Hey, what's that?" Elliot asked, eyeing the paper.
Shit. "Nothing," Olivia responded. Just a goodbye letter.
Elliot picked it up and read it quickly. He read it again. Olivia felt her face burning, waiting for his reaction.
Come on, El. Yell at me. Scream at me. Slap me. Just don't ignore me.
Elliot folded the letter and placed it in his pocket. Then he walked out of the precinct.