Drabble: Blender

Author: williz

Summary: Today's word is blender. I thought of it actually and pitched it to Halister, and in turn it was pitched to the mellinator. And so….blender is it.

Genius, Willabeth drabbles rock.

Disclaimer: I own the blender…but that's pretty much it. Damn it, though, I SOOO own that blender! Take THAT, Disney! I OWN THAT BLENDER!!! HA! You can HAVE Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann! THE BLENDER IS MIIINE!! MIIIINE!

K, I'm done.

Will snuck inside the small home he shared with his wife, hoping that wherever she was, she wouldn't hear him. Pulling the large diet book from the shopping bag, he set it on the kitchen counter and looked out of the window.

He saw Elizabeth on her knees in their garden, a gardening hat covering her brown locks as she dug a small hole.

They had been living in the small home for only a month now, having been married only forty five days. Elizabeth had been counting.

Figuring she was safely occupied, the young man quickly opened the cookbook and thumbed through the index, finding the page number for "Beefy Shake". As he turned to the page, he began gathering the ingredients from the grocery bag he had brought in with him and prepared them.

Taking the blender out of the cupboard, he plugged it in and dropped the ingredients into it. It already smelled and looked putrid, but whatever. Putting the lid on the blender, he held it down with one hand and held down the button.

The ingredients pulsed around in the blender, forming a greenish-brown paste of vegetables and fruits. Radishes, cauliflower, broccoli, tomato, carrot, raspberries, garlic, and more. It was an absolutely disgusting mixture, but the book said it produced excellent strength and muscle.

Usually, Will wasn't this trusting of these types of remedies, but something had happened a few days before that changed things.

Will and Elizabeth walked hand in hand through the shopping market. Will pointed to a jar of garlic jam and grimaced. "That's disgusting, Elizabeth. Let's try it!"

She only laughed, leaning into his arm. "Hell no. That's so gross."

The young couple began filling their small basket with some of the fruits and veggies in the produce section when they heard, "Elizabeth?"

They turned at the sound of the voice and a large, bulky man came up to them. He was at least two inches taller than the six foot Will and had muscles much larger than his own. Will almost flinched at the sight of the man.

"Tom! Oh wow! How are you?!" Elizabeth hugged him, her arms not even reaching around his bulky torso.

"I'm great! How are you?!"

"Wonderful!"

They chatted for a few minutes, before Elizabeth finally tore her gaze from the other man and turned to Will. "Oh! I almost forgot! This is Will Turner…my husband." The words felt beautiful in her mouth.

Tom's eyes grew. "Husband?! Damn, mate! You're a lucky bastard!" He clapped Will on the back, causing Will to cough and smile weakly.

"Yes, I know. Nice to meet you."

"Oh, this is Tom, my ex boyfriend. I haven't seen him in years. Tom, you've….grown…."

Will noticed the slight gleam in her eyes, and that's when he decided.

The mush in the blender looked excruciatingly gruesome, but he decided he would drink it anyways. He took a large cup from the cupboard and began to pour it into the cup. It slopped disgustingly into the cup, looking like slime. The putrid smell it emitted almost made Will gag. And he had to drink this?!

Glancing out of the window, he saw the garden empty and the tools gone. 'Oh crap!' But it was too late, for he turned and saw his wife standing a few feet behind him, an eyebrow raised in curiosity and amusement.

"What's that you got there, my love?" She asked, crossing her arms.

"Uh…duh…" He quickly set it down and moved in front of it. "Nothin'," he said, grinning innocently.

"It doesn't smell like nothing. It smells like shit. What is that?!"

"Health shake!" He said, moving to keep it covered as she tried to move to see it.

"Oh give it up. I caught you doing…whatever it is you're doing. What is it?!"

He moved, sighing in defeat. She went to it and smelled it, pulling her face back from the cup. "Oh my God, this is sickening. What the hell are you doing, Will? It's like a science project. You've been out of school for more than six years, Will, this should not be in our home."

"Maybe you can feed it to your plants?"

"No, they'd die." She walked to dump it out in the sink, but he hurried to her and grabbed it.

"No! I'm drinking that!"

"Not in my kitchen, you aren't! Give it."

"No! I need it!"

"For what?! Give it to me!"

"No!"

She put her hands on her hips. "William Turner…if you put that in your mouth, I'm not kissing you for a week. Seriously, that's gross."

He didn't answer, holding onto the glass tighter, as if to protect the monstrous concoction. Elizabeth looked behind her at the blender, seeing the book behind it on the counter. Sending him a mischievous look, she dropped her shoulders. "Alright, then. Drink it for all I care."

"Thank you," he said, plugging his nose and beginning to drink it down. As he chugged it, his tongue absolutely dying at the taste, he didn't notice her slink behind him and pick up the cookbook, almost laughing at loud.

"Beefy Shake?" She laughed.

Will immediately spit out the drink and began choking, his eyes wide. "Elizabeth, no! Put that down!"

"Trying to get some muscle, love?"

"Leave me alone!" He said, self-consciously, not looking at her as he cleaned up the mess on the counter from where he spit the shake.

She went to him and turned him around. "Hey, are you serious about this? Do you think you need muscle?"

"I don't know," he said, sighing. "I'll just throw the rest of it out…"

"Will, stop. Why are you making this?"

Turning to her, he shrugged sheepishly. "I don't really have, erm…muscle…"

"Please tell me this isn't about Tom…." She paused. "It is about Tom, isn't it? Will, you lovable idiot! That's why you were so quiet when we drove home! What, you think I like that sort of thing? He did not look like that in high school," she laughed.

"He didn't?"

"No, he looked normal! I couldn't even reach around his neck if I tried. Ugh! He didn't get like that from any shake, Will. One word: steroids." She went to him and hugged him tightly. "I love your muscles. They're perfect sized."

"You do?"

"Mhm. And you're just as strong as you need to be, just as strong as I want you to be. And I love you, Will Turner. I would have married a large piece of beefy plastic if I wanted one." She rounded his neck with her arms and kissed him squarely on the mouth, but pulled away quickly.

"Oh, that's it. Not kissing you until you get that sick taste out of your mouth. Sorry, but it's like vomit." She wiped her mouth and grabbed a glass, filling it with water and gulping it down.

He blushed. "Sorry." Grabbing a mint leaf from a nearby bundle on the counter, he chewed on it a bit and then spit it into the sink. "Better?"

Eyeing him warily, she leaned forward and kissed him again. "Mm, yes." She kissed him harder this time, their arms wrapped around each other. Will reached behind him and pushed the blender into the sink, hearing the crash as it broke into two pieces.

"Hey!"

"Don't need it anymore," he reasoned.

"You don't use blenders just for Beefy Shakes, Will! I use that for my smoothies!" She said, pouting.

"I'll buy you a new one with extra cool settings," he said, kissing her again. She resigned her point and leaned into him.

Oh, blenders.

(A/N): Yes...let's all say it together. Oh, blenders. Those cheeky bastards. Ah, the memories, no? Oh, blenders. They're blenderific.

Review. Or I'll blendify your face. Don't think I wont. (hears loud, daunting blender sound behind) Hear that? Yes, I just threatened you.

Go ahead...(spits tobaccy into can) Make my daaay, mudda truckas!