Diary

Entry 1

FUCK YOU!

Fuck everybody!

Fuck my mom!

Fuck my dad!

Fuck Jax! (He may be my brother and doesn't have as much power over me as my parents but fuck him anyway.)

Fuck Owen! (He may be my boyfriend, and a veteran of Samcro, and probably had nothing to do with this but fuck him, too.)

You need a fucking diary not fucking me. My dad, Clay, ordered me to start a diary. He wants me to get my fucking emotions out some way. I guess he didn't like how I beat on the prospect for no good reason. It's just that I had come back from fucking shooting somebody in the head and Half-Sack hadn't put my tools away right. I mean really man! I was about to fix Ms. Robinson's car when I looked at my toolbox. My FAVORITE wrench was gone. And suddenly all the shit I was feeling came through me and when the prospect said he had done it I well...snapped.

But who can fucking blame me? I'm the best mechanic in the shop that this part of Samcro. I earned the right to freak out about my tools. Owen and Jax had to drag me of him. Half-Sack was pretty messed up from the beating I gave him. After I calmed down, Dad called me into Church. The smug bastard was sitting like a King in his President's chair.

"What in the hell were you doing, Princess?" My dad asked giving me the look he used to give when I was a small kid. Now I'm fucking eighteen. The youngest patched member, but still not a fucking kid.

"He fucking put my wrench with all the other tools. MY tools go in MY toolbox. And my name is Cassidy. DAD," I countered as I sat down next to him.

"I'll call you whatever the fuck I want. I'm not just your fucking dad, I'm your President and you have to do what I say. Putting a wrench in the wrong place maybe warrants you to yell at him or punish him with some bull shit, but not to beat him up…okay?" My father yelled as he pointed a finger in my face.

"Yes, Prez. I'm sorry, you're right... I over-reacted a little bit. It won't happen again. I just go a little overwhelmed after I shot Jose."

My dad dropped his hand on his lap. I sensed he was about to say something that I wasn't going to like at all.

"Cassidy, your mom ... well really I think that you need to write some of these feelings down on paper. You have to deal with a lot of shit that somebody your age doesn't usually handle. I know that you have to put on all of these personas so that other people in our world can respect you. And I'm proud of you for that. I just think you need to start writing this shit down so it doesn't affect you anywhere else but at home," my dad fumbled out. He stood up and went to the cabinets. I fucking couldn't believe when he pulled out a book out.

When my dad handed me the book, I stood up and said, "Fuck this dad. You can order me to do a lot of shitting things, but not to have a diary."

Fuck, I hated that word.

"Yeah, I can sweetheart. You're going to lose control one of these days if you don't write all this stuff down. If you don't do this willingly, I'm going to have your mom watch you do it," Clay threatened.

I put up hands in exasperation and said, "Fine. But don't tell anybody! Not even Jax or Owen."

Clay nodded. "Now get out of here," he ordered.

I got up and walked out. Now after my boyfriend as fallen asleep I'm writing in you fucking diary. My dad told me to write how I feel, so I will now. FUCK THIS!

Next day...

My nephew was born ten weeks early. FUCK THAT ADDICT WHORE!