Love me
Part One
Everytime
By
Sannikex
A/N: Hi! Since my beta is on vacation and therefore can't beta at Twins I'm writing a short songfic trilogy about three women in the HP series. This is the first part, part two comes soon and part three will come sooner or later. Like I said my beta is not at home so please forgive some faults. Enjoy and review!
Disclaimer: I do not own the song or the characters.
"I'll be back at Monday, by twelve." He said and bent down to lift up his five years old daughter, Michelle. "Bye, my Princess. Don't be hard on Luna", he told Michelle and hugged her before putting her down again.
"Is it the usual apparate spot?" Luna wondered. "If we want to come and meet you when you come home..."she said fast and blushed.
Notice me, take my hand.
"Yes it is" Harry answered oblivious to Luna's blush as he picked up his bags. Then he nodded at Luna and said
"We'll talk about your rise wages when I come back." Now it was Luna's turn to nod but she closed her eyes hard to not see the business like look in his eyes, so different from the looks he gave her in her dreams...In her dreams he would have said I hate to leave you but I have to, I'll hurry back and then he would kiss her...But life was not a dream, far from, at least not Luna Lovegood's. She was in love with Harry Potter, she lived in his house and she took care of his daughter. But she was not his wife; she was his employee, his daughter's nanny. She had loved him for so many years, even before he married Mandy. When he became an Auror at the Ministry she had followed him and took a job there, when he moved she moved too. Still Luna did not know him personally.
Why are we strangers when my love is strong
She knew him from afar, every single detail in his face, the exact spots where he liked to be, the way he ran his hand through his hair when he was upset, how his shoulders tensed when he thought about something that pained him, like the memory of Mandy...his former wife who left him and Michelle when Michelle was one year old for another man. She had a new family now and did not want to hear about neither Michelle nor Harry. When she left Luna volunteered to take care of little Michelle and he had gladly accepted. She was just Luna after all, impossible to fall in love with he would not get hurt, it was safe.
Why carry on without you
Why could she not stop loving him? Why would her heart not stop to beat faster when he came into the room? Why did it have to hurt just as much every time she looked into his eyes and didn't see any response to her love there? She had tried, tried so hard to stand on her own legs but something always tugged her back to him, telling her that her place was there by his side. At least she had her dreams. That was how she'd always survived, living in a world where she ruled and everything went as she said it would. If he could just disappear from them.
Every time I try to fly I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And every time I see you in my dreams
I see your face it's haunting me
I guess I need you, baby
I make believe that you are here, it's the only way I see clear
She winced as she recalled the dinner they had shared in awkward silence, only broken by Michelle's occasional chatter or the clatter of knives and forks after a very embarrassing afternoon. She remembered every word he had uttered: "Luna...I've been thinking for a while, you and Michelle have a fine contact and she really loves you and she needs a mother. I wondered if you want to marry me? For Michelle's sake?
Luna stood dumbstruck with one shoe in her hand and the other halfway to her open mouth.
"No feelings of course, just for Michelle" he said rapidly as he took her paralyzed look for fear. Tears started to fill Luna's eyes. The man of her dreams asked her to marry him without feelings. She turned around so he would not see her tears and struggled to keep her voice steady as she said
"I...I can't, Harry"
"Why not? Am I so terrible?"
"No! No, it's just I love...." Harry's breath got caught in his throat "...another" she finished lamely without conviction.
"Oh...I see. I understand completely. Totally, really" he said and backed out the door as Luna sunk down at the floor wondering if she'd done something good or not. She was not closer to an answer after a sleepless night and the day after that Harry left to Paris for a week and he would come back at Monday.
At the breakfast table he had been as usual while Luna squirmed in her chair.
What have I done, you seem to move on so easy
Every time I try to fly I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And every time I see you in my dreams
I see your face it's haunting me
I guess I need you, baby
It was then she decided that she would swallow her feelings and pride and accept his propose. It was also then she understood that Harry knew about her feelings towards him and was not very happy about it. She saw it in his eyes.
I may have made it rain, please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain and this song's my sorry
"I want to talk to you after breakfast, Harry. About your...offer"
Harry looked up and the he nodded slowly.
But it was not time enough left and when he'd said good-bye to Michelle he said
"We'll talk about your rise wages when I come back" So now marriage was rise wages too...
And so he left. Now it was time to start to forget about her feelings, no, kill them forever.
At night I pray that soon your face will fade away
But deep in Luna knew that she could not forget her love, not even hide it but she could not leave him either. Her place was here.
Every time I try to fly I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And every time I see you in my dreams
I see your face it's haunting me
I guess I need you, baby