He can't find her. They are walled into this bloody town by an ice wall and yet there are still places to hide. He knows she does not want to be found but he has a desperate need all the same. David has all but given up for the evening and has told him to go home and get some rest so they can resume the search in the morning. Yet, he is so wound up that there is no way that he will be able to rest. He searches all night for her and still he does not find her.
He is as close to desperation as he can get. He is just exiting Granny's with what must be his fifth large coffee when Henry rushes up to him out of breathe.
"Killian!" Henry gushes out. "I know where she is."
Killian expels a breath he did not know he was holding, "You do? Please take me to her lad." He is barely holding it together in his need to rush to her side.
Henry shakes his head, "I can't. I made it worse. She threw me back and she thinks she hurt me too much. She said she was going to fix the problem. I came for you as soon as I could because I know she will listen to you. Please you have to help." Henry is beginning to babble.
"Alright lad" Killian agrees so that Henry will slow down, "just tell me where she was and I will go get her."
Henry agrees and tells him where his Swan is and he takes off in that direction like he is being chased by an army.
He is about halfway towards the location Henry gave him when he spots that glorious blonde hair being whipped by the breeze. His pace picks up even more, surprising him, and he reaches her in no time flat.
"Swan" he starts.
"Don't. Don't come near me, I might hurt you. Just leave me alone." She steps back from him.
He takes a step closer, "No you won't. Let me help you and we will get this all sorted out. David and Henry are both fine. We can get you some assistance with the wayward magic. It will be all right love."
She seems to think for a moment and nods her head. He sighs and relaxes a bit for the first time since this nightmare began. She is ok and here and everything will work out. He reaches out to pull her into a hug. That is when he feels the cuff go around his wrist. He is so shocked that he does not realize she cuffs the other end to the fence next to them.
"I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt the people I care about. I have to get rid of this magic before I do something that cannot be fixed." She says as she begins stepping back from him and away.
"Emma wait" he sounds so desperate even to his own ears.
She stops at his use of her given name and looks back at him. She raises an expectant eyebrow but makes no move to come back to his side.
"Look, sweetheart, I know you are scared. But we can work this out together. I will help you. Please don't do this. Your magic is a part of you and you just need to get it under control." He doesn't know how to change her mind and it is making him ache.
"The only way to fix this is to get rid of the magic in me. I am the only one who has it. No one can love me because no one understands me and what it is like to have magic that I can't control. I hurt my father and my son because of it and I will not let it happen again. I am going to Gold and he will fix this. I'm sorry I have to do this." Emma was shaking with her barely contained emotions and tears were streaming down her face.
Killian wanted to hold her and comfort her but he was tethered to the damn fence, bested yet again by her and her need to stand behind her walls. He took a deep breath, "Emma, I understand you. I may not have magic but I understand you. Please, unlock me. Please darling." He pleaded with her.
Emma turned her back and began to walk away. "I will come back to unlock you when it is done."
"Emma. Swan!" Killian was begging her. "Emma, please, I love you."
He saw her stop for a moment and then keep on walking. He knew she had heard him and it wasn't enough. Tears streamed down his face and his shoulders slumped in defeat. He let 300 years of wasted revenge and fruitless pursuit of the crocodile out as he sobbed uncontrollably. He was going to lose the one thing he treasured over all other things, including the Jolly Roger. Gold would put her in that hat and he would be powerless to stop the man.
He did not know how long he cried. He just knew that his wrist was raw and bloody from struggling to get free, his throat was sore and hoarse and he felt almost like he had been hit by a car again. He was sure that he looked as bad as he felt. He heard the phone in his pocket ring and with a little maneuvering he was able to get it into his hand and answer it.
"Emma?" he asked hopefully.
"No, it's David Look we have found her and she is safe but she just wanted to go to bed. Maybe you can see her tomorrow?" David said on the other end of the line.
Killian gave a self-deprecating laugh, "That would be great mate if I weren't cuffed to a bloody fence."
David gasped, "Where are you? I will come let you out."
Killian gave his location and waited, attempting to compose himself as much as he could.
David arrived with a key and let him out. After reassuring him that he would be just fine, he made his way back to his room at Granny's. He was so exhausted from the lack of sleep and the emotional toll taken on his body that he collapsed on the bed fully clothed.
He was awoken by a small knock on his door. At first he thought it a dream but then he heard it again so he got up and crossed the room to the door. He opened it cautiously and then more fully when he saw who was on the other side.
"Hi" she said with a small, forced smile.
"Swan, to what do I owe the pleasure" he tried to ask casually even though is heart was trying to beat outside his chest.
"Can I come in?" she asked.
He opened the door a bit wider and watched as she walked into his room. She looked around for a moment and then sat on the edge of the bed. She looked up at him expectantly. He raised an eyebrow and then shut the door. He came to sit next to her on the bed and shuddered a little at the warmth radiating off her. The sat silently for several minutes.
Emma took a breath and then said, "I didn't do it."
Killian whipped his eyes up to look at her.
"I was going to do it. I thought I had it all figured out and that I knew what was best. I thought that I was alone but I'm not. My family loves me for who I am and they want me even though I have crazy, uncontrolled magic. I was so scared that I would destroy the one good thing in my life." She choked back the tears that were threatening to fall.
"What stopped you?" he asked.
She looked at him and then down at her wrist. She could see the dried blood on his wrist and she felt guilty. She reached out, grabbed it and brought it to her lips in a gentle kiss. He gasped at the contact and closed his eyes for a moment.
"You" she said quietly.
"I didn.." he started and she shook her head.
"You did. You have always done everything for me. Your confidence and trust in me has never wavered. No matter how many times I have pushed you away or insulted you, you always supported me. My magic is strong when I let you in and it goes haywire when I push you out. You are my anchor. Did you mean what you said?" She looked at him hopefully.
He smiled, "Aye love, every word. I love you, Emma. You are the light in life. You are my stars at night and my sun in the day. I love you as the strong, brave and magical woman that you are. I will always be here for you as long as you want me. And maybe even if you tried to send me away."
She let the tears fall down her cheeks and he reached up to wipe them away. She smiled and it was the most beautiful thing he had seen. He kissed her then. A sweet and tender kiss that he hoped showed her just how much she meant to him. After a while, she lay back on his bed and he pulled her to him, holding her as close as he could. Her breathing evened out and he felt like all would be right. He smiled to himself and closed his eyes, breathing in her scent as he slowly drifted into his sleep. His last thought was all will be well.