A/N: I wanted so much more out of the last ep, and I just couldn't resist. Also spent a lot of time listening to Dress and Tie by Charlene Kaye and well, this happened. Hope you enjoy!
x
He really, truly realizes that he might have lost her, in the for good sense of the word, at Frank and Noelle's wedding.
Well, he wasn't a detective for nothing, after all. He'd seen the bond that had grown between Andy and Nick firsthand almost every day at work. The constant laughter and teasing, the nonverbal communication, even from across the room while they were in parade, the complete ease they had crafted with each other.
Of course, living together for half of a year could do that to anyone. It doesn't have to mean anything.
But it's also the way Collins looks at her, the way his eyes light up when her focus is solely on him and the way his features soften when they're speaking to each other. And it's not just Collins. Andy's got a knack for endearing herself to people, whether she realizes it or not. She's a bit like gravity, or even the sun, cheesy as it sounded to him. Pulling everyone towards her, encouraging them to stay in her orbit with her warmth, her light. And with the job they kept, a little optimistic light and warmth was something more than a little appealing at the end of the day.
His stomach twists at the thought of all the things Collins had learnt about Andy while they were undercover. Well, they couldn't have had much time apart, after all.
They'd shared a bathroom and a kitchen and he didn't even want to think about their sleeping arrangements.
His phone vibrates in the folds of his jacket and he wriggles it out. A text from Marlo. He'd sent her a shot of Frank and Noelle's first dance a few hours earlier, had passed on her congratulations to the happy couple.
How's things?
Good, he types back quickly. All good.
He wonders if it's possible to detect a lie wrapped up in five letters or less. Good. Fine. Happy.
And he knows if that it was McNally who'd asked, doe eyes questioning and truly caring, about him, how he felt, how he was doing, both physically and mentally, he'd be unable to even form the words to lie to her. So he'd dodge the question, chuckle and shrug and crack a joke or cast her focus somewhere else, stop her from reeling him in. And she'd probably see through it, but wouldn't push, because after all, it
Because truly, things haven't been alright in a long time.
He glances over at Traci, champagne glass and empty stick in hand as she offers up the last cake pop to Andy, who takes it with a big grin. Bites into it like it's the only food she's had in days, follows it up with a long drag of alcohol and grabs Traci's free hand, leads her out to the dance floor.
He's glad Traci is enjoying herself. Had wondered for a moment if all of this, the wedding and him being the best man, would drag up painful memories. Because really, he'd expected the next wedding to be a Barber-Nash affair.
But Traci beams at her best friend, hands still joined as they bop around the dance floor to some upbeat song, even dragging a bystander into the mess, who he quickly realizes is Oliver's date. He's never seen his friend so...flustered by a woman, not even his own wife. And though it was no secret that there was no lost love between Sam and Zoe Shaw, he hoped that she would find happiness too, and maybe even give Ollie a break here and there.
x
Somewhere across the room, he spies Andy in the arms of Frank, who is laughing raucously at whatever's fallen out of the young officer's mouth. Her cheeks colour a bit, she worries her lip a little and Sam can practically see the little half-shrug she gives even as his view is obscured by - oh.
Noelle.
She doesn't even give him a choice, just grabs him by the cuff and pulls him of the stool he'd been perched on since Ollie had left him.
He'd counted Noelle as a close friend since their academy days, was so happy that she was happy, and he tells her as much.
Noelle smiles warmly, squeezes his hand clutched in hers. "Wish I could say the same for you."
Sam sighs. "I'm…I'm okay. Really."
But she knows him a bit better than that and just gives him a look, making it very clear that she doesn't believe him for one second. Even at the beginning, she'd made it no secret to him how she felt about his budding relationship with Fifteen's newest addition. Had been courteous to Marlo when the occasion called for it, but couldn't help but wish it was another woman on her friend's arm.
"If you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about this right now." Sam says dryly, glancing over her shoulder at Andy, who was wrapping Frank in a tight embrace before letting him go, gently pushing Traci towards him for her turn. She catches his eye briefly, raises an eyebrow when Noelle tugs at his ear to regain his attention.
He glances back down to Noelle, a knowing smirk on her face. He sighs. "So, how's Ninja?"
Noelle smiles genuinely, eyes traveling over to Olivia, sound asleep in the arms of one of her relatives. "Great, the best. Surprises me every day, and not always in a good way." She looks him dead in the eye, making her meaning clear. "Sometimes the greatest things in life are the hardest."
Sam clears his throat, changing the subject. "You look stunning tonight, Noelle. Frank's a very lucky man."
"You know, Sammy," Noelle says softly, pulling him into a tight hug, speaking directly into his ear. "Take it from me…life's too short, too uncertain, to not spend every last minute with the ones we love."
x
Andy ambles over to him without a care in the world, sets her glass down at the bar and orders a soda, sneaks a glance out of the corner of her eye. Copper, she may be, but subtle, not by a long shot. At least, not when it came to him.
"Come to collect?"
Her brow furrows, before understanding dawns on her, smirk dancing across her lips. "Really looking forward to that dance, huh?"
Smirking back, he takes a long drag of amber-coloured liquid before turning to face her. "Just wondering if I shoulda brought my steel toe boots."
"Wouldn't have matched your tux." Andy shoots back with an impish smile before her next words spill out, tugs gently at his tie as she speaks. "And trust me, if I really wanted to hurt you, steel toed boots wouldn't save you."
The mood could've turned right then, memories of dress blues and rainy parking lots and undercover gigs casting a dark cloud over them, but instead, her confidence gets him embarrassingly hot, and her hand sliding into his to lead him onto the dance floor spikes his temperature up another dozen degrees or so. The song isn't too slow, but has a nice melody, and she keeps one hand in his and the other on his shoulder. His free hand travels to her back, pressing low into the base of her spine where she's so incredibly warm and
They're silent for a minute, Andy takes a few glances over his shoulder before a smile curves softly across her features. "Noelle looks really beautiful."
Sam doesn't move, keeps his eyes glued to her face, her soft, sparkling eyes and the alcohol-induced flush she's got going on - he refuses to acknowledge that it might have anything to do with his proximity to her. Can't let himself hope like that. Instead, tries to make his words sound like they're really meant for Noelle when he really just wishes he could say them to her. Had said them, period. "Yeah, beautiful."
She flits her eyes to his, then down, worries her bottom lip between her teeth. "So where's Marlo?"
He shrugs, wonders how long that simple question had been on the tip of her tongue. "Had a thing."
She quirks an eyebrow but lets it drop, her hand shifting slightly at his shoulder, lightening the pressure of her grip on him, if only physically.
They dance for a few more long moments, the music pumping through the speakers over the din of the rest of the guests, all fading into the background as Sam reveled in the feeling of having her in his arms, if only temporarily.
She'd caught his eye the second she'd walked in, a charge he'd almost palpably felt as to him, the room lightened with her presence. Even the way she'd been talking to Nick couldn't put a damper on the relief he'd felt at her being there. He knows how much she loves weddings, had been there when she'd realized she'd have to miss her childhood best friend's wedding last year, the crushing disappointment that had followed - not to mention the way he'd taken her mind off of it, at least for a few hours there. It was a shame she'd had to miss the ceremony, but had caught Dov with his cellphone in hand, figured at least she'd had some way to be there. And he couldn't take his eyes off her as she took in the room, her face bright and happy and rushing over to Noelle with profuse apologies and a warm hug for the newlyweds. She'd plucked Ninja from Frank's arms for a moment, tickled the baby and fawned over the frilly dress they'd had her in. Olivia had tugged a bit on Andy's hair and gave her a slobby grin, patting her face with one chubby palm before being passed back into the arms of her father. She was breathtaking.
He's about to summon the courage to tell her how beautiful she is tonight, every night, compliment her dress and her smile and probably make a damn fool out of himself, when it happens.
A hand taps at his shoulder and Andy beams at whoever it his and, and Sam's gut twists even more when he hears the one voice he was hoping not to.
"Mind if I cut in?" Collins says softly, and Andy maneuvers them both so Nick is standing next to them instead of behind Sam. His head is down, almost bashful, a boyish smile crossing his features.
"What happened to time?" Andy raises a teasing eyebrow at him. And all of a sudden, Sam feels like an outsider, as Andy seems to convey a million things over to Collins and he throws a million more right back at her.
Finally, Nick shrugs sheepishly, rubs his hands together and grins up at her. But before she untangles herself from Sam to make move over to him, Oliver sidles up in between.
"Sorry, Collins. Favorite TO, and all." Ollie's more than a little tipsy, winks at Sam a bit, and Collins chuckles as Andy dissolves into giggles at Oliver's attempt at dipping her.
Collins straightens when Sam gets his eyes on him, levels an even gaze and holds it for a long moment. "I'd ask you to dance, but you're not my type."
Sam works really hard not to even give the kid the satisfaction of a smile, instead raises both eyebrows and speaks before he can stop himself. "And who is your type? Andy?"
His face turns a little stony, clams right the hell up and goes right back to attempting to stare him down. Sam remembers a little too late a conversation he'd overheard in the locker room between Traci and Andy, that Nick had been Andy's "break-up buddy", whatever the hell that meant, and had probably heard all of the dirty details as to what had gone on between them. The thought unsettles him. "What's it to you? Why do you even care?"
Deciding not to respond, mostly because he's afraid of his own answer, he makes his move back towards the bar, keeping an eye on Collins as he finally moves, presumably offers a dance to Celery since her own date is otherwise occupied, politely smiling and making conversation. But soon, his eyes drift back to where Oliver and Andy are stumbling around, and the corners of his lips turn up, and Sam catches every moment.
Yeah. He was in love with her too. Even though he half-expected it, it still slams into him like a ton of bricks.
After all, he couldn't expect her to wait for him to get his act together forever. Not when a guy like Collins was more than willing to step in and take his place.
It turns his mouth dry and his hands clammy.
x
"Want me to drive you home?" he murmurs. The crowd's mostly thinned out, the dance floor nearing empty, and Andy's so tired it looks like she might topple off the stool any minute.
She levels him with a look. "I don't think you'll be doing any driving tonight, Sam."
Before he can formulate a response, offer up the hotel room Frank had originally booked for his brother, tell her that he'd really had no intention of staying there and it was hers if she wanted it, it happens again.
"Hey Andy, you comin'?" Collins shouts, and Sam realizes he'd only seen a single glass of champagne in the rookie's hand. And in that instant, Sam wishes he could undo every drink he'd had that night. If only to have the ability to offer what Collins could in good conscience.
But before she can reply, Traci's tossing her coat over her bare shoulders and wrapping an arm tight around her. "Nice try, boys, but I have a babysitter until tomorrow afternoon and a best friend who I haven't spent nearly enough quality time with recently."
Something in his chest loosens, but when he realizes the only reason he's going home to an empty place tonight is because his girlfriend is out of town, it tightens right back up. This is all wrong and he doesn't know how to even begin to fix it and it hurts and when they talked about messy they really meant Messy.
Andy squeezes into Traci's side, gets herself sandwiched between a very drunk Chloe who has come over to say her goodbyes, who drunkenly plucks at the front of Andy's dress and giggles into her shoulder.
Traci pulls out her phone to call them a cab, but a quick shake from Sam stops her in her tracks.
"No, cab is fine. It's okay, Sam." Andy knows what he's thinking, what he's remembering, and rushes to assuage him.
Sam glares over at her, softens his gaze as her hand absently rubs against the side of her neck. "How sober are you?"
Andy shrugs, dropping her hand from her neck as if burned, busies herself with wiggling her arms into her jacket. "Stopped drinking a few hours ago."
He sighs deep, digs around in his suit pocket until his fingers close around his keys. Pulls them out, offers them out by the ring on his pointer finger.
Traci's eyebrows shoot way up, and he can see her glancing quickly between Sam's stubborn set jaw and Andy's incredulous face.
"You're kidding."
He gives her another look. "You're off tomorrow, right? Drop it off whenever and I'll drive you back home. Or have Traci follow you and have her drive you home. Just-," he sighs. "Don't take a cab, okay?"
Andy can see how serious he is being, and she relents, nodding slowly. She gently takes the keys from him, her thumb dragging along the side of his index as she closes them in her fist.
"Drive carefully." He doesn't need to say it, not really. Knows how safe she is behind the wheel, especially with his truck. But she nods rabbit quick, shoots him a quick smile before glancing at the time on her phone.
"See you today."
He smiles back as Traci bids him goodbye as well, glances around the room as they make their way towards the door. Frank and Noelle had long since departed, followed shortly by the majority of their older relatives and guests and those from Fifteen who had the unfortunate luck of being on shift the next morning. Ollie and Celery had also made their exit, and he had no clue where Peck and her date had disappeared to. But, if the steely looks Gail had been shooting at Andy all week were anything to go by, it was far away from both Collins and McNally and he'd be willing to bet that Andy hardly had a clue as to what caused Gail's sudden animosity towards her.
That woman.
He can hardly make himself feel bad that he hadn't missed Marlo tonight, had hardly thought of her when she wasn't right in front of him, and how unfair it was that Andy McNally had worked her way into every piece of him without even hardly trying. It frustrates him that things can be so straightforward and impersonal with Marlo, and yet Collins and Andy can actually build something, had their friendship and six months of cohabitation as a foundation of whatever might happen later on.
He could be good for her, he can admit. He's nice and stable and not voted "Most Likely To Sleep With Their Ex" in the division and Andy could be happy with him.
Just not as happy as he'd made her. Could make her. As they could make each other.
And just, the thought of someone else loving her, being loved by her, well, he doesn't like it.
And it's that thought that haunts him all throughout his dreams.
x
every night i walked the streets
never dreaming what could happen
sad and so lonely
i saw in the mirror my reflection
staring back at me
i thought, will i ever find what i need?
but i'll wear that dress if you wear the tie
and baby we'll dance through the night
cause no one's got what we've got going
happiness never held on to me
until you had me see
that together we're just better off
oh my heart's been tried
time and again
always thought that it was me but
i see now just how wrong i was
no, i haven't known you for a lifetime
but somehow i've never been more sure that you're for me
baby please
don't leave, just come and dance with me tonight
fin.