a/n: This is something that I've had an idea in the back of my mind for, I just haven't had the time to put it on paper. I enjoyed writing it, it all came out very naturally, and I hope that everybody sees the helplessness Nick and Miley have right now, but realize that the light of their future is brighter than anybody believes.
I don't own these characters at all. Credit to the song lyrics go to Death Cab For Cutie, "Lack of Color." (It's a beautiful song).
Love & Stars, Miley
"Don't read it until you miss me," she said under the yellow light and kissed him goodbye. NILEY
And when I see you
I really see you upside down
But my brain knows better
It picks you up and turns you around
Turns you around, turns you around
It was smoldering inside my bedroom. Hot air rose to the ceiling like translucent balloons; only to be whooshed around by the spinning fan. The clicking of the fan and the humming of bees outside the window could be heard as the only audible sound between our ears. We both lay sprawled out on my bed, spread eagle on top of the comforter. We let the smooth breezes brush by our open arms and maybe if we just believed a little bit more, we could have stayed like that forever.
"It's so hot," Miley complained, "Not even the paparazzi feel like waiting outside my house today."
"Hello global warming," Nick replied sarcastically. He was propped up on the masses of pillows at the front of the bed. The way he was, the way he sat looking over her like a hovering angel, made her feel ever more protected, ever more satisfied.
Miley craned her neck upwards, so that she could see him behind her. But when she saw him, he was upside down. His feet were his hands, his mouth was his heart; and Nick smiled when he saw her so delicate and soft, and thought-provoking. She rolled over and landed on her stomach with her chin resting in the palms of her hands. The fan and weak breezes moved her hair like waves of wheat fields; and he appeared upright again.
She spoke with her jaw moving like a puppet, "I can't even imagine sleeping in a humid tour bus all summer. When are you leaving for that?"
She spoke in regard to his latest tour with his brothers and it suddenly made him feel sick. He didn't want to leave her, just as much as she didn't really want to know when he'd go. But he had been keeping a secret that was quickly reaching its expiration. Nick and Miley had worked hard for their careers and what they've earned, but they've also worked diligently on their relationship that has, without word of it, bloomed into a rekindled flame of love once again. You can love more than one in your life but there is only one love of your life, she reminded herself everyday. And everyday, she never doubted it.
Nick fidgeted in his position and slid off the pillow hill.
"We're leaving in a few hours, Miley," he said with sure anticipation of her reaction.
She sat up abruptly with a pained expression painted on her face.
"I wanted to tell you and I don't want to leave you," he got off the bed and moved to find his shirt, "God damnit, Miley, this always happens. We find a way to forgive each other and then we get ripped apart.."
"Nick."
He stopped what he was frantically doing, anything to not look at her, but the glimmer of her eyes pulled him to her anyways. She sat back on her knees and he saw her strength bubbling from inside but failing to show itself. Only her heart-break, which she knew at some point would awaken again, made him feel lame.
She swallowed hard and spoke shakily when she gained the composure, "I just want one night when I know that you'll be there in the morning… And I just can't believe that's possible anymore."
He sighed relentlessly and shook his head at the floor as if there was a whole other thought and self-inverted problem he was solving. When he returned his attention back to the emotions of their separation, he slumped backwards and shoved his hands in his pockets, smiling carelessly at her with a perturbed, little toothless smirk. Miley slid her body off the bed, with those endless legs and enamel skin. She stood at the side of the bed with her arms crossed; not because she was being stubborn and unreasonable, but because she wasn't letting them give up each other without a well-meant survival attempt.
Nick walked towards her in knowing defeat and allowed himself to put his arms around her whether at that moment she wanted them or not. The thick air boiled in Miley's brain and the stuffiness of California summer toyed with her mind. She hated feeling helpless with out him and making herself look like a tender piece of woman heart, and whenever that happened it seemed like both of them got frustrated. But Nick hated seeing her be so powerless too and he would have done anything within reason to put her back on her feet.
"I'm sorry," she said with a laughing sigh, "I knew this was coming.. just not so soon I guess. But why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I didn't want this to happen," he motioned to the position they were in. Hugging, but hugging longingly. Loving, but loving vainly. "I don't want me to leave you unhappy."
"Fine," Miley stepped away from him with an intriguing smile, "Then until you have to go, you're all mine."
Nick nodded his head and kissed her plainly on the lips, "All yours."
So she took his hand and led him downstairs. She would take him to words and dreams. She would show him the cure of time.
If you feel discouraged
That there's a lack of color here
Please don't worry lover
It's really bursting at the seems
Absorbing everything
The spectrum's a to z
Nick sat at the top of the bunk bed where all the heat rises. He hunched there as if he were waiting for something, somebody, to magically make their return. Not even the stuffiness of the air could manage to bother him- he wanted to feel something, a feeling other than loss.
It was past dinnertime and the bus was steadily driving off into the setting sun. The sky was orange and pink and all of nature seemed to be in synch, except for the nature of his own self. He wanted her to be strong and tried so hard to make her feel that way, and he succeeded, but he also clearly neglected his own need for strength. And he was suffering without her. Not because they had just been separated for only a few hours, but because he knew there was a whole summer left. And in the whole spectrum of things, that's a long time for somebody to keep the initiative to wait for your return.
"Don't read it until you miss me," she said under the yellow light and kissed him goodbye.
Nick didn't realize that that time would come so soon or maybe he did but just didn't want to face it. Either way, when Miley slid her hand into his back pocket and left a folded piece of paper seconds before he stepped onto the bus- into reality, and away from true love- he felt the magic that Miley always brought. It could be in anything that she did and she'd bring a special spark to it, something that Nick wished he had the capability of doing.
He reached into the pocket and pulled it out with care as if he was afraid it'd burst into a pile of ashes at his touch. It crinkled when he gently unfolded it, the story of the words already speaking for themselves. He smoothed it out on the bed sheets and felt his heart leap at her loopy handwriting. And as he began reading it, he realized that maybe leaving somebody you love gives the both of you the distance to reach into the future and find where you lie- and that time only causes change to those who want it.
Dear Lover,
I want you to know that you leaving isn't what has wretched me. What bothers me is that we are still separating each other not from our hearts, but from our lives. I'm always so impatient with that and the media wants to know all too much, but I know that you're wiser and for that I respect you're secrecy.
You once told me that truth lies within what you are willing to keep honest. So let's be honest. I don't think we could be what we are now, without what we had been before. Sometimes Love acts like that in strong ways where it flies and then it hurts, really bad, but then it comes back to dance in the rain and kiss away all the faults in the world. I can't imagine what I would be like if I didn't have you as a best friend- as a person to hold on to and to feel free with. You deserve to know that you've made me a happier person.
So since you're going to be gone this summer and we won't be able to do all the crazy things summer always seems to have in store, I'm teaching myself how to look forward. I have learned how to see new beginnings and happy endings, and maybe see some sad things that I wish I could avoid. But I believe that we have something special and can do special things together once we have the time and chance.
One day we will travel the world with just our backpacks and some hard-earned cash. We will go to small villages with hopeless children and bring them hope. We will ride down rivers that are as deep as God's soul and then listen to the stories that the foreign winds whisper to us. And after that we will climb the highest mountain and look down at this beautiful world that always finds some way to pull us away. But you know what, Nick, it always finds a reason to bring us back together. And when we're on that mountain, exhausted and free, we will enjoy the view because it will be great and we won't have to worry about anything. We won't need to please a single person.
I believe that maybe if we lose this fight for love, we'll gain it back in time. Because time heals everything and so do the words in music and stories and film. But I choose you to heal me- to give you the responsibility to hold me when you can, and sing to me when it's possible. Sing your heart out for every one of those girls each night and make them feel what I can't until you return. Just know that I'll be waiting, you've given me a reason to.
Love & Stars,
Miley
Did you enjoy it? I really want to know.
And tell me your opinion about your current niley stand:
are you happy for miley and justin? do you have a strong faith that nick and miley will get together again?
